EP# 119 A long and healthy life but not happy or short life and happy?

Robb (: 00:03

And welcome to another show of Don't Get This Wisted. I am Rob, along with my co-host as always, Tina. How you doing, Tina?

Tina Marie Garcia (: 00:08

I'm good Rob, today was a crazy busy day, but it's good.

Robb (: 00:13

Yeah, the story before lots, lots of hours. And how long were you there?

Tina Marie Garcia (: 00:16

Yeah I bought a new car, yeah. So I bought a new car, it took me, fuck, it took like close to 7 hours, it was over 6 and a half hours, but um, and they didn't set up all the electronic stuff yet so I have to take it back or I gotta figure it out myself, which I may just have my brother start pushing buttons and figuring things out for me, but um, yeah, I bought a new car, it's a hybrid and I kinda dig it.

Robb (: 00:23

Hmm

Robb (: 00:27

Holy moly.

Robb (: 00:44

That'll help with the gas mileage, that's for sure. Mostly the gas is $7,000 a gallon right now.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 00:50

Well this car um you get 41 miles to the gallon So i'm happy about that's like double what I was getting before

Robb (: 00:55

Yeah, that's nice. That's nice.

Robb (: 01:00

Stoked. Yeah, it's a little bit bigger, yeah?

Tina Marie Garcia (: 01:04

and I don't have to plug it in and it's a little bigger yeah still seats five

Robb (: 01:07

A little bigger. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's very nice. Very nice. Same color as mine, actually.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 01:13

awesome. Yes, yes I used to have a black car. I had a white car then I went to the black car and I was like I don't want a black car again and it was funny there was two on the lot one was black and one was it was the color that I got and so I didn't have a black car it's kind of nice

Robb (: 01:16

Yes, very.

Robb (: 01:24

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 01:31

Yeah, yeah, it's like a metallic gray. I don't know what they really call that. But it looks very similar to mine. Very similar. All right. Well, today, on today's show, this is comes really from a guy at my work by saying something to me and I

Tina Marie Garcia (: 01:38

I have no idea.

Yeah.

Robb (: 01:58

I don't know, he was having an issue with his wife, who I guess is not the healthiest person, like she doesn't take care of herself. And my coworker's kind of a workout nut, and he's 63 years old and he is in like amazing shape. He does like a hundred pushups every day, and you know, does all the stuff. He's in really good shape. Well, he goes to me and he's like, well, you know, I don't know, and she's not doing this. And you know, at least I have my health. And I went,

Yeah, I mean, I think your health is important, but I go, you know, happiness is more important. So I, mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 02:36

I think you're not ever gonna be happy if you don't have your health though.

Robb (: 02:41

No, I agree. But I think just in passing, I went to him, I go, would you rather have a long life and be miserable? Or would you rather have a shorter life and be happy? And he was like, dude, that's a great topic for your podcast. And I was like.

Oh, so I text you that day and I was like, oh, hey, and this is a couple of weeks ago since we did a couple other ones in between. But I was like, oh yeah, you know, we should really kind of talk about that. Cause I think it's a very interesting road to go down. Because I think at when you're young, you know, you live hard and you try to be happy. So, cause you don't look for the longevity you think you're gonna live forever.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 03:05

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 03:12

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 03:27

Right?

Robb (: 03:28

But then as we start approaching midlife and later, I think you start looking harder at like, how long am I gonna be alive? And since we have people dying around us, like, you know, I lost my mom and you've lost your mom, that you have to look at like, what is more important. So really our life is now short regardless. So being incredibly happy means way more.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 03:40

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 03:54

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 03:57

Yes.

Robb (: 03:59

But I also think that people in general really need to start looking at the reality of life anyway. You have to live to be happy. You should be healthy. I'm not trying to say you shouldn't because that's at all not true. You should be healthy and you should strive to be healthy. But I think if you had to choose,

At least the people that I've asked, you know, happiness is a thing that a lot of people don't have and really never experience. So to me, it's a very easy question to answer is I'd rather have a short life and be incredibly happy.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 04:36

Mm-hmm

Robb (: 04:47

But that's also, I'm 52 and I have the luxury of saying that the latter half of my life is going to be short. So, you know, let's say I live, the average man is like 77. So let's say I live, like my dad's 80. So let's say I live to 80. I really only have under 30 years to live. I wanna be happy. And going forward, that is my total goal as a human being

Tina Marie Garcia (: 04:55

Right.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 05:09

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 05:17

find happiness in whatever that is. If it's traveling the world, if it's experiencing that with a significant other, more power to myself. But I think finding that happiness is an important thing. If you don't...

You don't have to have someone to be happy. That's the other thing. If you find happiness in being single and doing whatever your thing is, I think that's also great. But I do believe health is important and I saw that in other people as well when there's been a lot of people dying young. Unfortunately, my internet at work has...

MSN is the lead page on what we get at work and There's lots of people dying young and I mean like 40s

Tina Marie Garcia (: 06:09

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 06:15

Yeah, but how are they living their lives though?

Robb (: 06:19

I mean, a lot of it's like weird shit, like young people getting cancer, that you really can't fight that. It's just odd that I don't remember that growing up watching the news and hearing 45 year old actors dying. You know what I mean?

Tina Marie Garcia (: 06:24

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 06:41

Rock stars, fuck all the time. Rock stars drop dead like it was a thing to do because they were doing hard narcotics at a pace that they should have never been doing. So, overdoses, I can, you have to throw some of that thing out and go, nah, okay, those don't belong in the statistics. But these days, it just seems that a lot of younger people are dying or people dying at a younger age than I remember.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 06:52

Right?

Robb (: 07:10

People dying in their 50s now is not uncommon. And, mm-hmm, go.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 07:15

Mm-hmm. I my mom died at 59 and So I've looked at like how I want to live my life because she passed away so young and so did her brothers her two Brothers that they all have the same mom and dad They they all died before the age of 60 and so I'm looking at life going. Okay, I'm 52

So if I live like my elders, I've got another seven years. And so that was very clear to me very early on after mom passed that my time could be very limited. And so how was I going to live that life? And and I think by now everybody knows that listens to this podcast, I'm always going to choose happy. I'm always going to choose putting myself out there and doing things and living because

Time is so short. So for me it doesn't it doesn't make sense to not be happy. I mean a long life But if you're sick who wants to live a long life like I was talking to my friend the other day and I was like if I get cancer I don't even know if I would take the treatments i'd be like this is my life I'm gonna go out this way and i'm gonna make sure I love everybody and say goodbye and then peace out because Who wants to live longer? If they're sick like that?

To me that's not, I'm not afraid to die. So to me it's like, I'll check out. I think I'm okay to check out. I've really had a good life and I worked very hard at having a good life. So I feel like I've lived my life the best way that I could. And I'm okay with what happens next. But I don't wanna be sick.

Robb (: 08:47

Right.

Robb (: 08:58

Right.

Robb (: 09:01

I think, no, I don't either. My mom, the last year of her life was on oxygen 24 seven and could barely walk to the kitchen without gasping breath. I definitely don't wanna be like that. But also being...

really old and even having your health. Let's say you're okay and you're 90 and you're, you know obviously you're probably not taking care of yourself anymore, but you're all right. I think the other part of that is, do I really wanna be, outlive everyone? You know.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 09:44

Yeah, that's another thing I don't want to do. I would be okay to go first and pave the way for everybody else I don't well and that's not even the case because I've we've lost so many people but I Don't want to be the last one. I don't want to outlive my brother My brother's younger. It's his it's his responsibility fucker has to do something He know what I mean. I've been the oldest I've done it all but he could take care of

Robb (: 10:01

Mm-mm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 10:12

the end of stuff, you know? And I don't know, I don't wanna outlive him either.

Robb (: 10:19

My dad has outlived all his siblings. And it's a very humbling experience to see your parents in a position of losing their siblings. It's very... you see them in a much different light for sure.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 10:23

Yeah, no.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 10:38

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 10:46

And his brother's, his sister died first, younger. But his brother's got sick and one had cancer and it took its toll on him. And I could see it kind of tearing him up because he realized he's it, it's the last of it. And then your mortality, I think, kicks in, right? You start thinking, how long do I have? And a few other things.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 11:04

Mm-hmm

Tina Marie Garcia (: 11:11

Well, yeah, you're the eldest generation. I mean, when my mom died, I realized I was the eldest generation out of the women. And I was like, holy crap. Now what? Now, how? And then and then I felt like, how is how am I going to figure out how to grow old?

Like will I will I get to grow old? Is that something that's going to happen for me? I mean, I realized that my mom and my uncles at the end of their lives had issues that they kind of ran with and let you know, get worse. But the same token would I do that if I had the same thing? Who knows? You know, so it's hard to say. But I definitely think that being happy, no matter how long you have is the goal. It should be the end game.

It shouldn't be something that's taken for granted just like I don't think that you should stay in a marriage where you're not completely Satisfied and loved and happy either. I don't agree with that and I know a lot of people I know personal people that have been truly loved and have stayed in misery just because they were afraid to Take a stand or to make a change or to do something different and I just don't I can't live like that I can't live my life like

Robb (: 12:26

Yeah, because I think you start looking at how many chances at happiness do you have? You know what I mean? Like, and I'm gonna say this in a weird way, but I don't mean it to sound horrible, but you know, how long do you have until your luck runs out? Right? You know, it's, it is a thing of taking chances and you have to, and I've seen people who

Tina Marie Garcia (: 12:33

Exactly.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 12:44

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 12:54

who have taken like large chances on things that paid off for them, you know, whatever it was, and it worked, and you have to step back. And I think a lot of us go, we're afraid. I mean, that's the biggest and the easiest way to explain it. You're afraid to fail or you're afraid to...

You know, um be ridiculed or you're afraid for someone to You know judge you for what you did and And I think now i'm at the point where I just say fuck it. I don't care It's not important to me there are there are Things and people that are important to me and I do care how they think but it's not the

the end game for me. If my best friend doesn't like my next girlfriend, that's life. Even my kid, and I do hope that he thoroughly enjoys my next relationship, but I can't.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 13:48

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 14:01

worry in the end if he's the end all for that because he's going to move on and find himself a girlfriend and maybe a wife and have kids and do his own life. I can't worry about both of our happinesses. I have to worry about mine and hope that everything falls into place. You were getting to an age

Tina Marie Garcia (: 14:22

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 14:27

that if you have children, your children are in their 20s now, right? And they're doing their own thing and they're moving in their own directions. Even though this new generation seems to wanna sit at home until they're fucking 30 years old.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 14:43

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 14:45

I just think that you have to sit back for just a second and realize that your happiness comes before everything and hopefully in your happiness comes theirs.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 14:59

Mm-hmm. I think I've seen a lot of people settle I've seen a lot of people say in situations that didn't make them happy whether it be a job or a profession or a relationship Or whatever the hell and they've completely destroyed Any chance of being happy and they'll still hold on to me

That doesn't make sense. Like why would you, why would you give up something that God has basically blessed us with and that is happiness? Like you could, you could do whatever you want to with it. Why would you stay in a situation where you're just plain not happy? I'm really, I'm watching, I'm watching people do that. I'm watching my friends do that. I'm watching family members do that. And it, it makes me cringe.

You know, my relationship with my ex wasn't so bad that I needed to divorce. I mean, truly I could have stayed and been okay. I didn't want to be okay. And I didn't want him to be okay. I wanted to be great. I wanted to be loved. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to be supported in and not that he didn't do it, but he didn't do it in a way that made me happy.

Like, you know, everybody loves the way that they love and, and hopefully you find somebody that loves you the way that you need to be. And you know, he was, he's not a bad guy. He's still one of my friends, but at the same time, he didn't seem like he was completely happy with me either. You know, coexisting is coexisting. I don't like to do that. I don't like to coexist. I let's, let's break it off before it gets bad and try to like.

love each other as much as we can so that everybody could have a chance at happiness no matter how long their life is supposed to be and I don't know I'll take I will take short and happy over long and just mediocre or bad or whatever it is yet any day any day it's so important.

Robb (: 16:57

Mm-hmm.

Long and settling is the longest death you will ever have.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 17:02

Oof.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 17:05

Yeah.

Robb (: 17:08

And I understand like things are hard. Like you talk about jobs. You know, we get into a job that if you're lucky, you're making a good living. And it's hard to get away from that because you know it's paying the bills and it's making sure I have roof over my head. But if it's making you utterly miserable, you can't be, yeah.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 17:19

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 17:26

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 17:32

You're in the wrong situation.

Robb (: 17:36

And I think that also comes from a personal standpoint as well that you have to be able to separate work and life. And a lot of people cannot. See, I've got, I had to get to a place, we've talked about it on this podcast before, I got in a bad place where I was taking it out on my kid every time I'd come home. And he was young. And...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 17:44

Mm-hmm

Tina Marie Garcia (: 17:55

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 17:57

I realized it and I took a long look in the mirror and since then and I want to tell you that was probably Eight or nine years ago and I leave work at work. I don't care

You can't, you have to be able to separate things. You can come home and talk about work. And you know, mostly if you have a significant other and if you have to vent, vent. But make sure that you both have a time limit on it because that's draining your happiness. You know, it's.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 18:28

Mm-hmm, and if you really love somebody if you really love somebody don't you want them to be loved relentlessly? Like don't you not you know? I fell out of the passion out of the want the desire and all of that But but truly if you love somebody don't you want them to have all that don't you for yourself want to have all that? For me the answer is definitely there's no there's no denying the fact that

Robb (: 18:49

Sure.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 18:56

I will pick happy over anything, any day.

Robb (: 19:00

I think, like you said, you know, picking the thing that makes you happy and realizing the things that don't, right? Because a lot of people stay in the same place because it's just easy. I stayed in a...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 19:11

Mm-hmm

Robb (: 19:21

a condo that I owned for years and years. And my ex-wife wanted to change locations or maybe move out of state and do something different. And I was just like, why? Everything's good. And again, sometimes...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 19:25

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 19:42

moving scary. When you move away from the state that you've lived in your whole life, it's a scary, scary adventure. And I did do it for two years. And obviously I came back. But I did learn that when the time is right, you make the move, whatever that move is, whether it's a job or a divorce or moving out of state or, you know,

getting in a relationship with this person that you've been around forever, whatever that is. There's always a time. And sometimes it takes two months, sometimes it takes six years, but you're going to somewhat make that decision to make yourself happy. And I've seen it before, my friend who moved to North Carolina, she wasn't unhappy here, she was making good money and there were, you know.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 20:14

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 20:24

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 20:35

good things about California. She ended up deciding, hey, I need to do something different. I can't afford to own a house in California. Things went her way. She bought a house a year ago there and owns a house, is making California money, doing quite well. But it took convincing. And it was funny, because I remember talking to her one time and she's like, I wouldn't be here unless...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 20:56

There you go.

Robb (: 21:04

unless it was you because I talked her into going. I said, look, you only live once. This is it.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 21:09

That is so true. You only live once and the only thing that you're going to regret is the things that you didn't do or the things you totally screwed up. Either way, like you have to make a choice and if you screwed it up, like you at least you get a good story out of it. And there's no well, the regret maybe I shouldn't have done that. But at the same time, it's not I don't have that experience now.

Robb (: 21:25

And there's no regret.

Robb (: 21:35

Right. I think living with the regret of fuck that wasn't, you know, what I thought it was going to be is better than never knowing that's what it was going to be. You know, marriage. I mean, let's go down the line. Marriage is its own very bizarre thing that can make you extremely happy and it can make you extremely unhappy. And that is true. It is for sure.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 21:45

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 21:58

And that's minute by minute. It is.

Robb (: 22:03

I mean, how, I've seen couples get utterly frustrated over what's for dinner. Right.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 22:12

Mm-hmm. Oh, I used to get so nuts about that. I'm like, you know what? Why don't you go and find something and then tell me what you're gonna make me like, can we do that?

Robb (: 22:16

Yeah.

Robb (: 22:20

Yeah, even going out though like of my best friend and his girl like I've seen it right in front of me Hey, what do you want to get? I don't know. What do you want to get? And and then it's like I'm sitting there like going I'm hungry Like we need to get something Because I am gonna murder one of you or jump in front of a car like I don't give a shit and the end

Tina Marie Garcia (: 22:25

Yeah. Yep.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 22:37

Yeah, can we pick something?

Tina Marie Garcia (: 22:44

I'm sorry.

Robb (: 22:46

And i'm not finicky when it comes to like just needing to eat it's like There's a jack in the box down in the corner. I'll be back i'm going And if you don't want to go cool by the time I get back i'll Have my food and you guys can decide what you want to eat because I can't I can't do that. It's you know, it's sustenance at one point but

Tina Marie Garcia (: 22:51

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 22:55

Let's go.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 23:02

Mm-hmm. Right.

Robb (: 23:08

Look, I think we all need to live for those moments too. I think people look at moments, silly moments like that, as, oh man, I can't believe it's crazy, and she's crazy and can't eat. Those are the parts of your life that you have to kind of sit back and go look. Those are the speed bumps of happiness, right? If you only have a few of those compared to this.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 23:29

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 23:34

daily adventure of having a good time and trying to find happiness and whatever that is for you. I think that's, you know, happiness is relative to what you want it to be. But yeah. And I think from a relationship standpoint, that starts at the very beginning. If there's no baseline, right, for where you think your relationship should be,

Tina Marie Garcia (: 23:47

Mm-hmm, and only you know what's gonna put a smile on your face and where you need to be and what's worth it to you

Tina Marie Garcia (: 23:57

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 24:04

um and your significant other doesn't know what that baseline is you haven't done a good job dating and i think that's the bigger thing dating isn't always adventures and good time and being taken out to whatever it is sometimes dating is sitting on a park bench talking about life

and finding out what the future holds for people. And I don't think people do enough of that either. They try to make it a race to get to whatever imaginary finish line there is, instead of going, hey, who are you? What are you looking for in life? And I'm talking about young people as well. I think there has to be some baseline and...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 24:49

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 24:56

happiness should have a baseline. You should go, I want this, and this. These are the five core things I'm looking for to make myself happy. And if you can find those, you should rush as fast as you can to find them. But you, you know, think of it as the experiences that get you there is what's going to make you happy, whatever those experiences are. And I think...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 25:11

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 25:26

Some of them are shitty. There's doors that are closed on you and you find a way to open that door again and it takes you somewhere else. And mostly job-wise, it's happened to me more than a few times where I found myself not working. And it got me into a different profession that got me into making more money, that got me into knowing more stuff.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 25:38

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 25:53

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 25:54

that got me into another job that is now moving you forward. But I wasn't afraid to start jumping jobs either, because happiness.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 26:06

Yeah, you have to do what you got to do until you find where you need to be and what you're meant to do.

Robb (: 26:12

Right, for sure. Yeah, you're lucky. I mean, you found yourself, you know, in a good profession that, you know, you've done well. But, you know, hindsight's always 2020 as well. Like, you know, I did pro wrestling for 20 years. I think looking back on it, would I change it? Probably. But that's hindsight because I know things.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 26:26

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 26:40

Um, I lived there were 20 great years and I had a lot of fun doing it But I wish I would have been a little smarter and did something different but But thankfully I still have years left to find happiness And and i'm and i'm doing it

Tina Marie Garcia (: 26:45

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 26:52

I get that.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 27:01

I think happiness is a day to day thing. I think a lot of it is your attitude. A lot of it is how you perceive things, what your expectations are. You know, there's so many things. And you know, people that I've dated, they're always like, why are you so positive? Why are you? And I'm like, look, I'm not, I got my freedom. I'm okay.

Robb (: 27:04

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 27:11

Yes.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 27:25

I got a roof over my head. I got food in my belly. I've got really good friends. I got a good family. Got my dad and my brother here and my niece and nephew. Like I have so much to be grateful for. And I feel like if because I feel grateful and I really do think about being grateful and what it takes to do that, that it's changed my opinion. It's changed my outlook. It makes me look at life differently.

I have a friend that everything is just freaky. It's just fucking frustrating for him. And I tell him all the time, like, you could change that. It's all your perception. They do what you have to do. You know, I'm going to let people learn on their own. I'm not trying to be anybody's umbrella and take their karma. If they want to sit and scream and rant and rave, I'm going to let them. I may pop some popcorn, put my feet up and watch the train wreck. But nonetheless, I'm

I'm going to let them do what they got to do. And it's amazing how people will choose to not be happy. They'll choose to not be successful. They'll choose to not be loved. But I think it's it all boils down to what they really feel about themselves. What you're what you think you're worth is normally what you get. And I think that people need to start.

Robb (: 28:50

That's pretty fair.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 28:51

Looking at that and saying, you know, I don't want to be unhappy if you don't want to be unhappy do something about it Find a way I get being unhappy in the meantime because going through covid and trying to get divorced sucked Sucked I look back on that now. I didn't bitch a lot, but let me just tell you how much it sucked It sucks so freaking bad That I don't I didn't know how I was going to get through it with my and have a healthy mind, you know Just be happy

I had no clue how I was going to be doing that. But you put one foot in front of the other every day, you find something to be grateful for, you find something to love, you find something to do, and you start to change your behavior or your inner voice. You have to look at all that and say, you know what, life really isn't that bad. The other day, I lost my cell phone. So

When I lost my cell phone, I don't know, it was after the reunion, during the reunion, before the reunion, who knows, but my phone was gone and I can't get into any of my apps that go through, um, Apple because my ID that I always kept a list of was in my phone. I, who knew I was going to need that shit. Right. But anyway, I didn't have it. So I don't have social media right now. My phone doesn't really, the camera doesn't really pop on like it's supposed to.

Robb (: 30:09

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 30:20

I could get email, I could get texts, and I could get phone calls. And hopefully that people when they call me or they text me say, hey, teen, or they talk to me how they normally would and I could figure out who it is. Because truly, I don't know my contact information didn't even know what my schedule was for work. And I'm telling my friend and he's like, guy, that sucks. I'd be so frustrated. I'm like, you know what? It's not that bad. I still am in a good place.

Robb (: 30:36

Right.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 30:49

Nobody's gonna die because I don't have my phone social media is a pain in the ass. Anyway, it's nice to have a break from that I'm not gonna lie. I can always look up some of it on my computer. I don't get full You know like live videos and stuff like that. I don't get any of that and you know what? I don't care and actually I think I felt a little less stress the last few days because I don't care and Life is still going on

Robb (: 31:03

Alright.

Robb (: 31:10

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 31:16

And when I told him it's really not that bad, he looked at me like I was crazy. He's like, come on, you know, you need your phone. Yeah. But you know what? There are so many other things to love and need and put time in. Then the stinkin phone and people's bullshit agendas of how they want everybody to think they live. Cause really how many people that are putting all this shit on Facebook are happy because I see attention horse.

I see people that need attention. I see people that are so without love in their hearts, without people around them, without support that they're grasping for something more. And I'm like, put the phone down, put that phone down and interact. It's that easy.

Robb (: 31:56

Happiness. I think people are looking for happiness through that. I think you're lucky. A break is good. I have a friend down the street who...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 32:05

Yeah.

Robb (: 32:14

is rarely on social media, like at all anymore. And I think that that's a small way of finding happiness, right? You're getting rid of something that is pretty toxic in its whole way that it's made. So to get away from that is obviously giving you a little happiness. And it's funny how that works.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 32:16

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 32:24

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 32:33

Yes.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 32:42

and more time. I feel like I have more time in my life not being on social media. And I gave up, or I told you, I gave up TV during COVID. So, and that controlled a lot of my time too, that I wasn't interacting, that I wasn't having good relationships with. So not having the phone and not having the TV has actually opened up hours of my life. Unbelieveable.

Robb (: 33:05

Yeah, for sure. And probably made you happier. So.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 33:10

It has it has because I'm not seeing everything that you know before I lost my phone I don't know if I told you but I play this stupid game on my phone and it's just a mindless game and And I kept seeing like all these commercials about save my baby They're bombing Israel and yada and they're showing terrorists holding children and you know women crying and all this stuff and I was like

Robb (: 33:21

Eh.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 33:39

Why the hell are they going to have commercials of that from Israel on a game app? But yes, and then it was on TV because my dad watches TV and I happened to be in the living room with him and saw that they put that same type of commercial on the news.

Robb (: 33:48

Yeah, in between.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 34:00

that was like, you know, during the news, I'm like, what? Why do we need to see this? Why is this so up our gazoo? This doesn't make me happy. It does. It makes me scared. It's not only does it make me scared is it makes me uneasy. It makes me feel like we don't have any security. It makes me feel like we have no control over anything. So to me, turn that shit off, too, because no, today I just bought a car.

Robb (: 34:22

Yeah, propaganda.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 34:25

I had control. I went to work. I had control. I got up this morning and I made breakfast that I wanted to eat. I have control. But if you watch that stinking TV all day and you hear about how horrible life is, guess what you're thinking. Life is horrible. I don't have time for that. Yeah, it's exactly it. They have control. And who is they? These people that we don't trust anyway. These people that give their opinions during news instead of just giving us the facts.

Robb (: 34:41

Yeah, they have control. Yeah.

Robb (: 34:54

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 34:55

Why are we allowing them to put shade in our day?

Robb (: 34:59

Yeah, and we shouldn't. And I think that those are the paths to happiness, right? Getting out more, walking more, being in the sun. It's funny, I saw a thing, during COVID speaking of, you're saying about that, like they locked people in a box, right?

Tina Marie Garcia (: 35:11

Yes.

Robb (: 35:24

when sun is like one of the most important things to get daily. Obviously too much of it is bad for you, but you need like 20 to 30 minutes of being in the sun every single day. So I do my best now to make sure I'm in the sun, that I mean, I have a vitamin D deficiency anyway, but getting out in the sun, and it's funny, sometimes you can just close your eyes, right? And just relax.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 35:24

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 35:41

Me too.

Robb (: 35:51

I'm a music fiend, so music makes me happy. I got some new headphones and I was had them on and I was like, yeah, like you put on some of your favorite tunes, walk around the building at work, kind of, you know, disappear from.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 35:54

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 36:09

Whatever your work is for a second find a few minutes of happiness and then come back and it's funny How I think my vibe has been better and I try to get up and walk around My facility, you know as much as I can instead of sitting down the whole day so, you know, those are things that I think you have to escape bad situations or shitty environments and

Tina Marie Garcia (: 36:11

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 36:23

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 36:37

make better ones, whatever that is. And it can be as easy as, hey, I need to take a break. I'm gonna walk around the building. It's lunchtime. I'm going to eat real quick, walk around the building, and then sit down in a chair and close my eyes. And I try to get a 15 minute nap in during the daytime just to get me in a different direction. So I think it's...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 36:39

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 36:54

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 37:03

the longevity of that happiness is trying to find it daily. And I think you're right. Happiness is a micro thing, right? It's microdosing ourself with these good things in our life while knowing you're going to experience the bad. Like we were talking about health is a balance with that happiness.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 37:22

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 37:30

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 37:30

And if you're young, I think do both. You can be healthy and be happy. But I still wanna be happy as the lead thing in my life regardless of anything else because it's too short. You could be the healthiest person in the world and fall down the staircase in the morning and you're done.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 37:45

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 37:51

Wow, that's happy.

Robb (: 37:53

I mean, I and I don't mean to be like Debbie Downer. That's not but I mean Accidents happen weird shit happens. We've all had friends who Something weird happened to or people we know from high school that a year out of school got in a car accident died That it's just Life is fragile. So stop playing with it, you know

Whatever you wanna do in life, fucking do it. And hold on tight. There's nothing wrong with holding on to something that you think is good. That should be what we all want, right? We all want something in life to enlighten us. Religion works, it's an enlightening thing. It puts you in a better place.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 38:23

Grab it, grab it.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 38:33

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 38:48

exercise at any age will get you in a better mood. Obviously being around good people is a positive thing. It's finding those micro doses of happiness that will make you enlarged happy. And I think there's a lot of people who

Tina Marie Garcia (: 39:06

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 39:13

want to be happy and I mean truly want to be happy. Not just like, I'm getting by because I know people who are okay with just getting by. And look, however, maybe that's their happy. And I know people who sit and play video games all day and they're happy. And if that's your happiness, more power to you. But I think the longevity of that life is very hard.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 39:24

Mm-hmm

Robb (: 39:42

where you're isolating.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 39:45

We're not we're not given a timeline of how long we're on here and we're not given on earth I should say and we're not given a timeline as to when everything's gonna fall in place so that we could be happy if You don't take today as a blessing if you don't take today as a gift if you if you Spend it without finding happy you've wasted a day of your life that you don't get back

You just don't. And I personally don't want to live like that. I've lived where I was okay. I lived where I could take care of everybody. I lived for everybody. I lived in a situation that wasn't my first choice. I did a lot of things over the years. I was loved by somebody that wasn't capable of loving. I loved somebody that didn't want to love me the way that I needed to be.

I've gone through all of that, but now that I've chosen to take my life back, I find that it's really the happiness comes because inside of me, I'm happy. I get on that trike and like you said, be outside. I could smell eucalyptus, I smell sweet grass, I smell people's cooking, I smell car exhaust trash trucks, which disgusting by the way.

Robb (: 41:09

Oh, yeah.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 41:10

but there's so many smells to just smell while I'm on the bike. You know, and I find happiness in that. I'm like, Ooh, somebody's cooking something really good over here. Oh, it smells like fire. Passing the little street, you know, a fire on the street. And I get lost in being present.

Robb (: 41:15

Right.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 41:31

That really does make me feel happy and it makes life so much easier than trying to Deal with misery every day and deal with something where you're just not happy and obsessing about it I don't obsess about it life is not right for me right now having divorced and gone through that but you know what? It's not that bad and I don't think about the not right stuff. I think about the not that bad stuff and I'm really freaking enjoying it and I

Robb (: 41:55

Right.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 42:01

to find their happy and to start living happily. I don't say be mean to everybody. You don't need to like, oh everybody's gonna have to get a divorce. I'm not talking like that. You find your peace in you. So find it.

Robb (: 42:15

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 42:17

Quit being miserable because I see people walking around all day miserable You can't drive anywhere around here without Pete filling people's misery You can't go to a restaurant without seeing people's misery. You can't tell people without about hearing how they're just not happy Why? Why are we not hearing more of man? Today was a good day. You know what happened today, you know?

Robb (: 42:26

Yeah.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 42:41

whatever happened today. I didn't hit, I didn't hit the cat that was running across the street. That made me happy. I thought I was going to have, you know, a hood ornament, but I didn't. Grateful. I was grateful for that. And in that, I found a little piece. You think people need to find that.

Robb (: 42:47

Right.

Robb (: 42:58

Yeah. And I think that is something, you know, peace, peace of mind. And I think peace and peace of mind are very much the same thing, however you want to get to that space in your own head. But you have to find it yourself and then walk towards it. It's there.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 43:10

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 43:21

Yeah, you have to run. You have to come up with a way to get out of whatever you're doing and release people that don't serve your purpose, that don't serve your way of being, that don't make you happy like, let them go. Let them go so they could find that too. That's what love is. Love isn't making somebody freaking miserable all the time.

Robb (: 43:40

Right. I agree.

Right and I think on the flip side of that in your own life it's small things are good. Like you said you can you can smell an orange grove and a million memories will come to you.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 43:58

Mmhmm.

Robb (: 44:03

I'm a huge fan of sunsets. There's something about a sunset and I think that I lived in Camarillo and every blue moon I'd go out to Ventura be you know, the beaches in Ventura or Oxnard and I'd watch the Sun go down and You know without getting too metaphoric, you know, it is the end of a day but there is something of just

Tina Marie Garcia (: 44:06

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 44:30

It's watching the day go away, even though the night can be great, but it's that small thing. I think that we all have to find that small thing daily as well, whatever that is for you, whether it's...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 44:42

and the sunset goes so peacefully. It's not fighting. It's not it's not in turmoil. You know, it's just it just goes away just peacefully. Why are we not moving peacefully?

Robb (: 44:58

Right, no, I agree. I think you've probably just hit it on the head. You have to find your inner peace. And it's there to grasp. And it's just you taking the horns and telling yourself and probably other people around you, I'm going to be happy. And it's there. I think...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 45:07

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 45:13

That's right.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 45:23

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 45:24

You know, I, like I said, I have a shorter life now. So my goal is to find whatever it is that makes me happy. And I think the people out there that are younger, you can have your health and be happy. They're walking tools, but remember that life isn't, it's very, very quick. Very quick.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 45:51

It is.

Robb (: 45:52

and you'll find yourself 21 and then you'll find yourself 52. And it's a very humbling experience to realize that you have a short time to find the rest of your life.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 45:59

Hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 46:13

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 46:15

Uh, well, that's it. We've knocked it out of the park again for another week Um, make sure to check out our socials since I didn't talk about that twitter Instagram facebook, you'll see all the updates Uh, feel free to message us and tell us what you want to hear about We need folks to come on. Uh, we have a cool idea for a 20 question show where we're gonna

have a list of questions and round robin around the table and have people answer them and we will, which I think could get us in a lot of trouble, but it'll probably be fun. And check us out on Apple, Spotify, Google, Amazon. Anywhere you can hear these cool little podcasts, share, write reviews, we need them. And yeah, anything else, Tina?

Tina Marie Garcia (: 47:04

No, I'm ready to go and eat some dinner. It's been a long day at the at the dealership.

Robb (: 47:07

I hear you. Well, my only last thought of the day is find your happiness people. It's out there. It's literally Right in front of you grasp it

Tina Marie Garcia (: 47:17

And it's a commodity that you should not be wasting.

Robb (: 47:22

Time is the biggest commodity there is. There is nothing that is worth more money. So, all right. It's an opinion show. Don't get it twisted. Keep coming back. Check us out every Wednesday. For my co-host Tina, I'm Rob, and we will see you next week. Bye, Tina.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 47:24

Yeah.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 47:28

Mm-mm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 47:41

See ya!