EP #148 Seizing the Moment: Taking Risks and Embracing Life

Robb (: 00:01

And welcome to another show of Don't Get Disguised. I am Rob, along with my co -host as always, Tina. How you doing, Tina?

Tina Marie Garcia (: 00:07

I'm doing really well. I made it through Mother's Day weekend and my brother's birthday and now I feel like I could breathe for like two seconds until things start going on again. It's been a busy month. Yeah.

Robb (: 00:17

Yeah, that's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It hasn't been too bad, not really. So I'm gonna throw it over to you because you texted me out of nowhere today and was like, hey, I have an idea and shoot it.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 00:23

Yeah.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 00:30

Well, you know, but I always talk to a lot of people, you know, I'm a hairdresser, so I, I sit with a lot of people as I'm doing their hair. And then I've got a couple of good, really good groups of friends that I talk to often. And I was given some feedback, and we were talking about things. And one of the things that one of my friends had came up with was doing a podcast on seizing the moment. So,

don't follow a clock or a calendar, but like just take time to be completely in the moment and try to be happy and do what you need to be whole and happy in your life. And the reason they said I should talk about that is because they say that I've been doing that lately. It appears that I'm always busy and I'm always trying new things and I'm challenging myself and I've had to start a couple of new places to work and...

And they're like, how do you do that and not look anxious and stressed out and like, upset all the time? And you know, life is basically dealt me a few big shit sandwiches in my life. So I have learned how to kind of put those things away when I have to and try to breathe because life is overwhelming even for me, of course, you know, so.

They were talking about how do you do that? So I thought we should do a show on that and talk about it and at least bring it to people's attention so that if they're not even thinking about it, maybe they'll make a different choice or a better choice or, you know, find a way to make some memories.

Robb (: 02:16

I mean, for sure, I think that most, no, no, no, no, no. I kind of agree with you. I think most people don't see the moment. Too many people start looking too far ahead instead of just going, hey, I'm gonna do this because I wanna do it. You know, too many people look at repercussions. I sent you a kind of a quote that I thought kind of works for this.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 02:16

Was that a lot?

Tina Marie Garcia (: 02:24

Yeah.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 02:33

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 02:42

It says, doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 02:47

my gosh, that is so true. So true.

Robb (: 02:49

And I think, yeah, because I think a lot of us doubt, right? You doubt everything. And I think that's why people don't take steps forward, right? They stay stagnant, they keep doing the same thing, they put themselves in the same positions over and over and over again because they're so worried about failing that they don't give it a shot.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 02:53

Mm -hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 03:06

Mm -hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 03:11

Failing is like the easiest thing to do like it really is or to even get through Because at least you tried if you give it all you got and you and you failed it's like, okay I still I still did it. I still exceeded my expectations I don't I don't see that as failure but you know like if you don't make it to the end of the race or you don't get that a You know, I don't you know if you don't get the recognition, I guess that's what?

people considers failure, but I see staying stagnant and not taking risks and not being in a place where you could be loved or have friendship or new adventures or different journeys, I call that failure. I go to work every day and nobody's life's changing by what I do, right? But if I...

I took my friend on a motorcycle and now he's considering buying his own and now he's talking about maybe moving out here and you know that's that's

what I'm talking about. It's like doing things so that you can look at life a little differently. You could see that it's not always bad, that the grass is green on both sides. It just depends on your perspective. I think that we need to start opening up to that, because life has been so stressful. I mean, I went through a divorce, I went through COVID, I had to change two jobs, start my career up again.

I started a podcast, I started doing things I never thought I would do, and life isn't bad. You know, it's a little scary. Sometimes I feel like my arms are up and the rollercoaster's making a couple of spins, but you know, I have been happy and I have been seizing the moment and I don't say no to people when they ask me to do things. I'm wondering why we don't do that more. I'm doing it more, so I shouldn't even put we in it, but how is...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 05:19

We as people not put that that test to life to find happy and to do new things.

Robb (: 05:30

I mean, I think a lot of it's fear, right? Everyone is fear of something, rejection, what your family's gonna think, what your friends are gonna say to you. Because they're afraid, or they're, you know, we talked about relationships before about like,

not talking to friends and family about them because friends can talk you out of something good because they're not happy or they'll talk you into something because you want to hear it. Instead of just, you know, sometimes you have to take your heart over your head, right? And because if you've done the same thing with your head too many times, stop listening to it. It's not working, right?

Tina Marie Garcia (: 05:57

Mm -hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 06:07

Mm -hmm. I agree.

Robb (: 06:19

And sometimes your heart goes, hey, you need to try this. You know, I'm a very finicky eater, like super finicky. And I went to a restaurant with my friend down the street and I sat down and the first thing she did is there was some bread that she liked and she dipped it in this green shit and held it out and went, try this. And.

My internal thing went, I gotta tell her I don't want it. But I immensely like this girl and I think that if I ever dated her, she would keep doing that. So the first thing I did is I went boop, grabbed that shit and put it in my mouth. I went, mm, and here's the thing, it was really good. And yeah, and it.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 07:12

Yes.

Robb (: 07:15

and it hurt me to have to say that to her. And then after that, I had got an empanada and I got, and it came with some other green shit that was, so first thing I did, what was it?

Tina Marie Garcia (: 07:27

Chimichurri sauce? Chimichurri.

Robb (: 07:33

Yeah, yeah. Okay. So yeah, I went to Bushfire Kitchen. If you haven't been there, it's really good. So I got that and I put it on there. And then I got some sweet potato fries, which are amazing there. And I started dipping it in that. And then she had got some cauliflower vegetable side. And I was like, hey, what's that? And she's like, it's cauliflower. And I'm like, hey, can I have some? And I just, whoo.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 07:34

Mm -hmm.

Okay.

Robb (: 08:00

I ended up taking her food home with me and eating it for lunch the next day. But those are the things like you have to seize the moment. I wasn't gonna not do it because the whole point of wanting to forward something is opening up to something new.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 08:06

Yeah.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 08:11

Mm -hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 08:23

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 08:23

And I went, I'm not going to let her say, do this. And I'm not. And I was going to sit back and do what I always do and fucking turtle shell and go, I don't want to. I know I'm OK. I was like, no, give me that shit.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 08:34

Yeah, yeah. When the kids were young, I talk about several kids because I was always taking care of somebody's and then my own daughter. Trying to make them have a more confident outlook on life. I used to...

really try to get them to try things that they weren't used to trying. Like, get out of your head, you're in a situation, you know you're gonna be uncomfortable in it because you don't wanna try and you don't wanna change the way you are and like try to make it fun for them. So there were two things that I did. I would tell the kids, let's try something we've never had before and if we don't like it, who cares? We don't have to eat it. I'll take it in and out, I'll take it McDonald's, I don't care, let's just go.

And they would go okay, and so they tried everything my daughter blew my mind my daughter and my cousin They're about the same age. I took them out for sushi, and they were eating octopus and and There was that the egg they ate the quail egg and stuff they were grossing me out that night because they went further than even I could go you know because Once I told them no you got to do this It's just the most amazing thing and they took it on themselves and and now they're

Robb (: 09:40

Right, right.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 09:47

You know now they eat different and they do things different than most kids that I do know because they didn't have me for you know Pushing them to try things and then another another thing that I used to like to do was yes all day day So whatever we decided to do within reason I mean we couldn't you know go I wasn't gonna take her the guns or anything out But like we used to do like everything is yesterday. She wanted

Robb (: 09:58

Mm -hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 10:15

She wanted to go to claim jumper and have this big gooey chocolate cookie with ice cream and chocolate fudge and all kinds of crap on it. And she wanted to eat that in place of dinner. So it was yesterday and she that's what she wanted. So we took her to go get that and she I'm like, no, eat the whole thing. Do whatever you want. There's no this is yesterday. So do it your way.

Robb (: 10:33

Right.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 10:42

And I remember she got really sick. She's like, mom, why'd you let me eat that? And I said, well, just because I said yes didn't mean it was the right decision, but I have to teach you that. I can't just do it and have you understand. And she's like, I get it now, but can I still have dessert every once in a while before dinner? I'm like, absolutely. But it's, I made, I made it to where there doesn't have to be any,

Just try it, just do it, just take a risk, just go for it. Because I think that that's so important. And what I'm finding is people don't do that enough. Or people are so caught up in what they have to do or their responsibilities. And yet they're dying inside because they're not taking care of their emotional part of their body and how...

Robb (: 11:26

Correct.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 11:40

Damaging all of that is I'm like wait. It's okay to not Get to work. It's okay to you know not Have all that stress on your plate. It's okay to put it aside and and breathe put your feet in the grass and Take a deep breath and take a ride with the windows open go Sit on the beach and watch whatever you want to watch you want to watch people run around with their dogs on a frisbee Do that I think that we were not taking time again?

Because COVID, we had nothing but time to do these fun things. But now that COVID's over, how many people are actually taking those chances again and living their life and keeping things in perspective? I think we're losing that.

Robb (: 12:27

Without a doubt. I mean no one seizes the moment anymore. It's very rare and And I think that that's because look we we all have that We all have a little fear like let's be honest. I mean is as much as

Tina Marie Garcia (: 12:32

Yeah.

Robb (: 12:45

As much as we want to jump into something, there's always fear. There should be. I think that there's a small amount of fear that should be. My problem in general is once I decide to jump, I jump in with both feet. I don't twingle my toes in the water. I just jump the fuck in. Now, I'm scared of certain things. The unknown is the unknown, but if you don't ever get there, you'll never know.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 13:01

as you should.

Robb (: 13:15

So I found myself wanting to seize the moment more and more and more because look, life is very, very, very fast. You know, people say that it's short. I just think that it goes fast. I'm up for like writing down tons of quotes these days because I just think that they're very important. Here's one for you. It is not that we have a short time to live.

but that we waste a lot of it.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 13:46

That's so true. We do. And we waste it worrying and not taking, just not taking the leap.

Robb (: 13:50

I think.

Robb (: 13:57

not taking chances. Chances are what make life better. Look, and we've all had to take them. You know, look, if I didn't go to a house party that I was invited to, I would have never met my ex -wife and never would have had my child. And I'll tell you, me and her were the only white people there.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 13:58

Yeah.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 14:18

Mm -hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 14:24

Heheheheh

Robb (: 14:25

And I'm not joking at all. Literally, there were two white folks there, me and her. So you have to take chances because you never know what you're gonna get.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 14:29

That's funny.

Robb (: 14:37

at the end of the day, was my marriage perfect? Not a chance, but I got something good out of it. And it springboarded me to wanna be a better person so that the next person I end up in a relationship will probably get way more good out of that.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 14:55

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 14:56

Right? So, and, and, you know, I, I traveled to North Carolina just to travel there because I wanted to see the place and see my friend and see what that was. And these are all chances that...

15 years ago, 20 years ago, I'd have never taken because I was so, I was, you know, I didn't want to leave my place. I was, why leave? It's good. Or why don't this? Where I move now, I mean, I made a decision to make the leap and I was like, screw it. And my friend who,

you know, she told me lots of different things, like you can't do this and you shouldn't probably be doing this and who's gonna do it? And I jumped and I'm in much better place because of it. But if I wouldn't have taken that risk or seized the moment, I'd still be a roommate sitting in someone's house doing the exact same thing I was doing. So.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 15:48

There's so many times I think back so many times like big shot big times Where what I did led to something so massive? Like I remember my friends from El Paso when before I met them my friend was like please like invite them to your party tonight my parents were out of town I was always throwing parties and and I'm like no I don't like those guys I had seen them once didn't really talk to him didn't give him a chance and they looked really different they

Dressed different, they acted different, their accents were different, they were different guys. And he's like, just do it, just do it. Now, here it is 35 years later, these guys are my close group of family friends that I go and visit a couple times a year. I go to weddings, I go to funerals, I'm a part of their life. I have a place in every one of their.

lives and in their hearts and with their kids and had I not just given those guys that I didn't understand a chance I wouldn't have had that whole life 35 years with people it's amazing how like little little chances make big results it's like a it's like a huge road that you go down and and it just gets more vast and and it's so

Robb (: 16:55

Yeah.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 17:07

I've been looking at things lately and it's just so amazing that that those little decisions like look at even you Rob I couldn't get you to talk for how many freaking weeks and then finally you did and like I'm sitting here talking with you every week doing a podcast that's it's mind -blowing but if you don't take the chances if you don't try how are you gonna know?

Robb (: 17:19

Yep.

Robb (: 17:25

Yeah. Well.

Robb (: 17:31

And that's the thing, you can use any analogy in the world you want, but if you don't open up the gate and let people in, you're never gonna know who they are. And if you don't talk to that person, you may never understand what they are, who they are. The whole point of seizing the moment is getting something that you may have never got. Many, many moons ago,

I was going through a divorce. My wife had left already, but I was trying to make things work. So she was a roller coaster person, and I'm not much of a person to do that, and I think I probably talked about this on the pod before, but one of my ideas to kind of bring us on a playing field is let's go to Magic Mountain. I hadn't been there in 30 years.

So think about that. I was like eight years old the last time I was there. I think I was 38. First thing I did was went on the biggest roller coaster. Biggest, Goliath, let's go. If I'm gonna do this shit, I'm gonna take the chance. I'm gonna seize a moment. Now, did it help with my relationship? No, not a thing, but it definitely helped me. So.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 18:29

Mm -hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 18:44

Hmm?

Robb (: 18:53

Again, seizing moments, it's a million little things. The best things about the people around us and the relationships we have are the tiny little things that add up to something big. And that's what life is, right? And if you don't continue to take chances and seize the moment, you're never gonna be happy. You're gonna be the same person doing the same shit with the same result. And yeah, and that's why I look, you know,

Tina Marie Garcia (: 19:17

Stagnant completely stagnant

Robb (: 19:23

There's a million reasons why I can say I moved where I did. One of them is the person down the street. I would be lying if I didn't say that. But on the flip side, she told me a lot of things that ended up being very true, that put me in a much better position in life. Whether I would ever be with her or not is regardless. I'm in a much better place. So.

But I had to take a very hard leap. I had to move my kid and change his life and do a bunch of other things. But these are the things that I think that they're stepping stones to something else or something different. I refuse now not to seize the moment. And I think that that can go a lot of different ways.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 20:10

Yeah.

Robb (: 20:16

Seizing the moment is saying, yes, I'm gonna do this and going all in. Don't half -ass anything anymore. Half -assing is crazy. I told you I'm reading that book right now, calling The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. And a lot of it has to do with stuff like that, where they're just kind of telling you, sometimes you have to throw a bunch of shit out to do the things that you really wanna do.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 20:46

I think that's everything. Yeah, it's a decision. You gotta make a decision one way or another. It's either this way or that way. I think that,

Robb (: 20:46

You know, and it's very true. That's what I mean.

Mm -hmm.

And there's a lot to that.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 21:00

absolutely. Absolutely. If you know, we talked about last week that one thing I've learned since since we started this podcast and that was that I learned how to unconditionally love. And that has this week, it's been such a profound thing because it's come up a few times and I've talked to a few people. I got to talk to my aunt for one and I talked to a longtime friend.

And I and I had mentioned that I that I understand what that is now when I didn't for my whole life when you know You don't you don't realize Like even when you have a kid that's not unconditional love you have conditions on your child You want them to do certain things act a certain way stay on the right path you have expectations so and then in a marriage you have expectations I expect

My husband to go to work. I expect him to pay the bills. I expect him to handle certain things but I Didn't realize that that that was having conditions on love I don't know why it never came to me But also I learned that now with my ex that I could love the person that he is now and I have no expectations I don't know what I'm gonna see him. I don't we don't have a relationship. That's that's sexual. There's none of that. I

There's nothing's going on. But when I sit with him and we talk, I enjoy that. I enjoy it more than I think I ever enjoyed being married to him. And it's so different now. And I would not have learned that had I not gone through a divorce, had I not tried to stay friends through a divorce, if I had not tried to not wreck the person that I once loved, I never would have gotten to a place where I understood.

what unconditional love is. And I'm so grateful that I did things different and I didn't go with the flow and everybody was like, take him for whatever you can and, you know, just screw him over. I couldn't be that person. I didn't want to be that person. So I did something different. I took a chance doing something different and it really paid off because I still have my friend. I have an ally.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 23:20

But I also know how to do things better the next time. Because I took a risk and I let go.

It's amazing. I've actually had some really good realizations this week with that. So.

Robb (: 23:28

Right.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 23:38

It's been interesting.

Robb (: 23:38

I think it's because you start looking, you start looking at things on a much, I don't want to say smaller level, just a very balanced level, right? You start looking at the things that are important in your life and go, okay, how can I make them better? Or how can I do this differently? Or.

You know, seizing the moment is in everything, right? It's in love, it's in your job, it's in moving across the country because you have an offer, whatever it is. Most of us don't do that because, for one, fear, right? Or we don't want to lose something or whatever it is. Unless you start taking these bigger steps or steps that...

you go, but this could happen, or this could happen. There's a lot of quotes about, mostly on relationships, it goes, what if we try this and it falters? And the answer to that is, what if we try this and we fly? If you never jump, you never know you're gonna fly.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 24:47

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 24:54

And that's in everything. If I didn't make a decision to come out here, I wrote down on a piece of paper what I needed to make. And I handed it to somebody who was my boss at the time. And he goes, let me see what I can do. All right. I go, it's this or nothing. It's either this or I have to stay where I'm at because of everything. More rent, more this. My whole life changed.

And then when I got that call, he said, yeah, they're going to do it. Then then the realization of what was about to happen hit me. Right. OK. I asked what I asked for something and now you got it. What are you going to do? And I seized the moment.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 25:30

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 25:40

I said, I'm going to do this. I need to do something different in life because what I've been doing for nine years wasn't working. I was doing the same shit over and over in the same kind of relationships and the same kind of thing. It was time to do something different. And if I wouldn't have seized the moment, I wouldn't have certain things in my life or wouldn't have.

You know what? This pod may have never happened. Because because of things that were going on in me and your life at the time that just happened to be at a Denny's in the San Fernando Valley, you know, I'd always had this idea of a podcast, but it just never came to fruition. And but but just think about that it was it was.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 26:11

Yeah, that's true.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 26:18

Mm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 26:31

Mm -mm.

Robb (: 26:37

what was going on in my life and what was going on in yours and I was like, hey, this would be cool if we just started talking because we seize the moment. Here's another quote for you, I love quotes. The only way better times come is if we create them.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 26:43

Yep.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 26:55

Right? I was, I was going to get to that too. you know, I, I went to a restaurant today with my brother, my father and my niece and nephew for my brother's birthday. And I was looking around at parents who were sitting on their phones and the kids were like either on their phones or on whatever electrical device they had, or they were watching the TV screen, but nobody was interacting. And I,

put my phone down when I'm with my niece and nephew and I'm like, so got any plans for the summer? Like, how's cheer going on? Or, you know, are you guys getting ready to graduate? How's finals going? You know, I sat and I talked to them the whole time we were there. I'm the one that interacts with everybody. And, you know, I think that the kids sometimes are like, God, they shut up. You know, like, I don't want to talk to you, but...

They always answer me, but I don't want to miss the opportunity to hear what they got going on. I don't want to miss the opportunity where I lose who they are as people because I didn't take the time to sit with them and talk to them. So it's like even the little moments, even the... My brother and I went on vacation together to El Paso and like sitting there and I'm like, we're just sitting there joking and having a good time and...

Robb (: 28:21

Mm -hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 28:24

And I was thinking, wow, I'm going to remember this because my brother and I are always going two separate directions. This was the first time we ever traveled on our own together without other family members. And, and I, several times over the course of that, just looked at him and started laughing and having a really good time with him because I wanted to remember that we were having fun together. I wanted to remember that we were alive together. You know, my brother had that big.

Robb (: 28:29

Yeah.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 28:53

Like, health scare, I don't, it was over a year ago. And, I did think I was losing him. So I find that now that that's all over and he's doing well, when I'm, when I'm with him at times, I think of that and how it could be versus how it is. And I, it, it brings something to me. It brings me a sense of peace or like, we did it. We got him through that. He's alive. I can make these moments. I could do these things. And instead of thinking, I should,

Robb (: 28:55

scare.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 29:23

Now what I say to people is okay. When do you want to do this? Like let's make it happen. If it's not nothing's on the calendar. I'll do it and I'm finding that that life is Still not perfect. It's still fucked up in so many ways and there's things that I wish were different I really wish my mom being alive yesterday so I could talk shit with her not even have like no doesn't even need to be a real

Conversation but just to be able to joke and talk shit with her. I would have been lovely yesterday Nothing was wrong with me. I didn't cry. She wasn't there. There was nothing like that I just I wish I had more of those moments so it it does make me think and then I don't know if you guys are aware, but Sam Rubin is a local newscaster for KTLA 5 morning news, and he just died a couple days ago and We were I was watching

Robb (: 29:55

Mm -hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 30:19

you know, his story and stuff and things that he did and how he was. And my mom used to think he was really funny. And I was like, I just wanted to tell her, mom, did you see San Ruben died? Because for some reason he affected her. And so she was, she knew of him and stuff. I don't know, it was just kind of a weird dynamic. And I was like, God, if she was here, I would have been like, mom, did you hear? Like we'd have something to say. And I miss those moments with her.

But Sam Rubin's son said, I'm going to honor you by telling people to love their parents as relentlessly as they can. And I was like, that's exactly what I said. Like, love your parents. Like, give them a hug. You know, spend some time with them because I don't get to do that anymore. So it was like warning people, seize the opportunity to do that with your kids, with your grandparents. Like,

with your parents, with people that you love, with your friends, enjoy whatever you can. Get out of your head. Stop worrying about all the fears, all the worries, all the guilt, all the shames, all the things that you can't pay for. You know, take a day off and try to make some sort of life for yourself that is just plain happiness. Has to be done.

Robb (: 31:44

I, yesterday was kind of the first like real shot at me. The first Mother's Day was, you know, obviously it was still shocking. This one was the first one where I kind of sat and went, okay, my friend down the street has issues with family. And...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 31:49

Yeah.

Robb (: 32:12

being a mom and questioning that if she's a good mom or not. And there's certain things she does that really reminds me of my mom and I always wanted her to meet her, even if it was just over FaceTime or whatever. And it never happened, but she kept pushing me to go see my mom and it just didn't work out. It couldn't get up there. She was sick and COVID and all kinds of shit.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 32:17

Yeah.

Robb (: 32:37

So I looked back on that and I kind of told her that yesterday or Mother's Day and I was like, I sent her this really long text message just about how good of a mom she is and you know, stop worrying about you know, everything else. Don't beat yourself up over it. But it was rough for me the first time. I just felt like, yeah, like I wish I would have had, because.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 32:51

Yeah.

Robb (: 33:02

You know, like I tell you certain things and I tell, you know, I lean on certain people for certain things. But like I told you, I could tell my mom anything and I could have used her the last couple weeks to just really say something to you. And it was rough. No, no.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 33:16

Yeah. And nobody could take the place of her. Nobody could take her place. And it's, you know, so even if you said, I want to talk to you because mom's not here, it's not the same. It's not the same.

So you got your...

Robb (: 33:35

No, and my mom was known for Seize in the Moment.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 33:38

Right?

Robb (: 33:40

She was a seasoned moment motherfucker for sure. And in that.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 33:44

And you know what? She made her own life and she loved her own way. And she, I kind of envy her that she did that.

Robb (: 33:55

I mean, me too. And here's the thing, I know what I would have told her, how I felt the last couple weeks, and I know what she would have told me. Because my mom was always the same. This is what, you have to do what you have to do and blah, blah. But I need to look more at what she did. She did seize the moment. And...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 34:08

Yeah.

Robb (: 34:23

and everyone around us needs to. It's so important. Too many people are so worried about the small little things when the big thing that comes from it could be amazing. If you feel like parachuting out of an airplane, go do it. You could die tomorrow. No, but yes, but...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 34:46

I think you should be reasonable though. Like, you should be reasonable with things. Like, there's certain things I don't think you should do, you know? But...

Robb (: 34:57

No, you shouldn't go out and shoot heroin tomorrow because you think that it's the thing to do. But I mean, you know, lots of people, lots of people jump out of airplanes and don't die is what I'm trying to say. You know, people are, you have to take risks. It's not for me. I think I might do it later on in life. If I live a decent life, I would probably jump out of an airplane. But for me,

Tina Marie Garcia (: 35:01

Yeah, let's not seize those moments.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 35:07

Right.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 35:21

How old do you need to get to do that?

Robb (: 35:25

I want to be that if I hit the ground, I won't care. I still think right now I still care a little bit. Like I'm not in a hurry to smack my, hit the ground. And I know that it's not gonna happen. It's very rare. But either way, I think it's seizing the moment. My ex -wife did it and I forgot how old she was. And I think she was 40 something. ____was born. So I think a lot of it has to do with,

seizing the moment. She wanted to, she did. And you know, everyone around us needs to. You need to, I need to, my friend down the street needs to, you know, your ex needs to, we all need to. Because if you're not seizing the moment, tomorrow you could die. Period. And I don't care what it is.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 36:13

Everybody does.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 36:18

Yeah.

Robb (: 36:20

And look, I've had a friend who was 40 years old had a heart attack and died.

40 years old, he was at a funeral.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 36:31

Wow.

Robb (: 36:33

So, you know, it can happen so quick that we forget that we still have to live for the present. My kid the other day, my kid the other day, let's see, he was like, dad, I...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 36:45

We absolutely do.

Robb (: 37:02

I live on a quote from Kung Fu Panda.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 37:07

Heheheheh

Robb (: 37:10

And I was like, -huh. And this is what it said. It says, ba -ba -ba -ba. hold on, let me get the actual quote because he, he kind of said it best. He goes, it's the quote is, yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 37:37

My aunt used to say that to me.

Robb (: 37:38

And I was like, yeah. And we were eating, we were sitting in Chipotle eating our chicken bowls. And it hit me really hard that, yeah, none of us are living for the present. We're so worried about what's gonna happen two weeks from now. Or we're so stressed out about, yeah, and why?

Tina Marie Garcia (: 37:58

We're chasing time.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 38:03

We're chasing time, we're chasing money, we're chasing the calendar. We're not living for life today. Like we're not set up, our society is not set up for that.

Robb (: 38:14

No.

Robb (: 38:19

And we're social creatures. That's why we all want to fall in love. We're social creatures. We want to be with somebody. We want to be with somebody who makes us feel a certain way. We want to gather with a bunch of each other and live in a tribe and do things like barbecues or sporting events. You know, modern get togethers. That's what these are. That's what we live for. And if in...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 38:37

Yes.

Robb (: 38:46

And I think that's why most people, you know, were so worried about, I have to get the kid to the baseball game in three weeks. Why? Why are you worried about that? Worry about it in three weeks. Stop worrying about that stuff now. It's...

You have, because you know what? There's another guy I saw the other day, or I was watching something on Instagram, and he talks about living for whatever you want or whatever you feel is right for you. He goes, if you die tomorrow, your job will have you replaced by the end of the month.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 39:22

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 39:24

They don't care. Your family will always remember you, but certain things won't. So you're more so worried about these things that you have no control over. You have control about who you love, what you wanna do if you see your family, if you have events in your life that mean something to go to them.

we control that. Some things we don't. And if you're not seizing the moment, you're going to miss every single one of them.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 39:55

Did you ever see my best friend's wedding?

It's with Julia Roberts. And she was going to visit her best friend. I guess they had some sort of connection. Could have been love, but they were too, like, selfish in their own time to maybe...

Robb (: 40:02

Probably, but... Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 40:18

Tina Marie Garcia (40:22.049)

Give it what it needed, but he he wants to get married and he wants her to be there because she's his best friend And there's a point in the movie that they talk about if you if you let the moment go it never comes back And they're on a boat and they're going under a bridge and they're looking at each other like they're gonna kiss they're gonna kiss and then They go to the other side of the bridge and the you know the sunlight's there and they pull away a little bit and they don't Take the opportunity

Robb (: 40:29

Mm -hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 40:51

and that for some reason that always stuck with me not because they didn't kiss or anything but like the meaning of what they were saying behind that was so beautifully put for me that i never forgot that and and i don't let people not know how i'm feeling or what i'm going through if they mean something to me i'm putting that time in and a lot came from just seeing that one spot in the movie

but it really hit home.

Robb (: 41:21

Yeah, I think at the end she tells him how she feels.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 41:28

yeah. But they already knew.

Robb (: 41:30

There's another... Yeah, of course. Well, that's the whole point about liking someone. We know it's just that neither one of the people will take the leap of faith. Yeah, if you don't seize the moment, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. I told somebody before, I said, you're worth every heartache I get. And...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 41:46

seize the moment.

Robb (: 42:01

She was like, no, no, no, no one's worth that. It is if you try, if you don't try, it's a worse heartache. Cause now I have to live with it forever that I don't know. There's heavier, I don't think you've.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 42:14

But loving somebody comes with heartache. You could love your children and they're not going to always be the nicest people to you. They're gonna cause some heartache. Or in your marriage, you could be going to sleep without feeling the connection of your mate, which is heartache. There's so many things when it comes to love that do hurt. But if you look at it as a...

Love there's there's always going to be some sort of balance to it so you have to take the good and the bad and you have to roll it all together and and remember that What you're doing with the person and and love them back and if I don't know I just think we're we're losing opportunity by Trying to be so right and be so bitter and be so against somebody that we were meant to love

Robb (: 42:50

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 43:16

Have you ever seen the movie love Rosie the British movie? If you haven't there's a there's a really good scene. It's about it's about these two it's about a guy and a girl who go to prom or go to a dance together and they She ends up getting hammered and falls down but doesn't really remember the night and they

Tina Marie Garcia (: 43:19

No. Absolutely not.

Robb (: 43:43

They jockey back and forth with each other because they both like each other. She ends up dating somebody else and so does he. She gets pregnant, has a baby, blah, blah, blah. He ends up finding this insanely attractive girl and goes off with her and they're about to get married. So he asks Rosie to come and be there for like his best man, right? His best mate. So she does the speech and...

And she does this part where she's she goes no matter where you are what you're doing or who you with I will always honestly truly completely love you and then she goes Like a brother likes a sister and like because the whole crowd gets kind of quiet but there's a the between him and her he realizes that yeah, we've loved each other for all this time and

Tina Marie Garcia (: 44:26

Hehehehe

Robb (: 44:41

neither of us ever said anything because we were dumb. And it's true. And then later on, he makes a speech to... Rosie's daughter gets kissed by a boy and she's like all grossed out because they're best friends. And she runs off and the guy comes to her and she goes, look, if you reject him now, he's going to make his life's mission to meet the most beautiful...

girl in the world just to try and get over you. He'll end up marrying the other woman and spending the rest of his life with her and he'll tell himself that she's perfect and that he really must be happy but she won't be. And that's the whole point of a lot of these things about seizing the moment. If you let shit slide the moment's going to pass you by and at some point in your life

Tina Marie Garcia (: 45:14

Mm.

Robb (: 45:40

you may look back and go, God, I really wish I would have seized the moment.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 45:45

Mm -hmm. That's in so many things so many things though Like you said you didn't go to see your mom before she passed and I'm sure that that floats through your head like I should have done that You know, I wish I would have done that especially now that she's gone Yeah III

Robb (: 45:59

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 46:05

Yeah.

Robb (: 46:10

Yeah, I've.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 46:10

I have a cousin that I always tell that to like go see your parents because they live a few hours away and she's a workaholic and I told her I said you're gonna miss them when they're gone and they They're not too long ago. Both of them have passed and she came back to me. She said okay cousin I just got to tell you I hate you right now and I said why is that? She said because I hear your words in my heart all the time I said really what did I say and she said visit with your parents now while they're alive because when they're not I

You're gonna wish you had and I was like I am so sorry She goes no you were warning me you and I didn't listen But I still hate you for it. I said, okay, I get that. I'm sorry But it's so true

Robb (: 46:56

Yeah, look, I mean, I would be lying if I said I wish I would have seized a moment when I was 18 years old to a certain girl that we know.

And for many, many years after that, I compared a lot of people to her when they had no idea of who she was. But in my head, I knew I'd dropped the ball with her. And I should have did something different, but...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 47:32

Yeah.

Robb (: 47:43

I thought she needed to be someone else. So I didn't seize the moment. I let her go off and join the military and do her shit and get married and everything else. Now I'm lucky I saw her 20 years later and I got to put a lot of that to rest. But you know, I didn't seize the moment and I was young, don't get me wrong, is it, but you know, I wish I would have failed then.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 48:13

it, you know, I don't think you should go back and worry about that though because life, you still may not have ended up with her. You still may have had, you know, you're not a perfect life either.

Robb (: 48:14

You know what I mean?

Robb (: 48:23

No, no, no, no. But what I'm saying is that the years right after it, the years right after it, I regret it. I don't regret it now for no, for sure now. I didn't regret it once I was in my late 20s, but you know, 1920, 21, I made it. I probably hurt a lot of girls that I dated because I always thought like, what could have been? what could have been?

Tina Marie Garcia (: 48:28

Yeah.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 48:36

That's good.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 48:52

Mm, I getcha.

Robb (: 48:52

And it was unfair. I'm not saying, but I just think I didn't seize a moment where, you know, I could have traveled. I could have picked my whole life up and said, I'll follow you wherever you go.

But I was young and scared and blah, blah. So there's a lot to be said about that. What I'm saying is that I didn't seize a moment. I don't regret it, regret it, but I did for a couple of years. And I think that as you get older, the more you don't seize the moment, the more it's going to hurt you. Because you have to do that if...

If someone called tomorrow and said, hey, I have this job that was exactly what you wanted, you have to seize a moment. Not that I would do it now because I think 10 years ago, if someone would have called me and said, hey, do you want to work for the WWE working behind the scenes? I would have seized the moment in a second.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 49:57

come on, you still wouldn't do that?

I call bullshit, you would so do that. Please tell me you would, I would totally tell you to do that.

Robb (: 50:03

I probably wouldn't for a lot of different reasons. Just because I know people who work there. I know people who work there. So it's, I know too much. So I probably wouldn't take the job based on what I know behind the scenes. But it wouldn't, but again, what I'm saying is that you have to, you have to,

Tina Marie Garcia (: 50:10

What?

Tina Marie Garcia (: 50:22

no.

Robb (: 50:32

think things out though. I would definitely think about seizing the moment now though. You know what I mean? I wouldn't just go, no, I'd go, okay, hold on, let me think about it because there's repercussions to everything. There's repercussions for, you know, not going to see your friend on the weekend because they got in a car accident and died or they overdosed because you didn't pick up a phone call. And I'll tell you that I live with that.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 50:47

There is.

Robb (: 51:02

all the time because I didn't seize a moment of because I didn't want to hear my friend higher than a kite speaking incoherently instead of just talking to him because I didn't talk to him ever again so there there is something to seizing the moment

Tina Marie Garcia (: 51:21

You know what though, that's, I get that, but I think that there's also something called self -preservation and you didn't answer that phone because you couldn't take the heartache at that point and there's nothing wrong with that either. Again, it's about taking care of you and your mental health. That's even seizing the moment is about that.

Robb (: 51:39

No, you're right.

Robb (: 51:44

But what I'm saying is that, yeah, that could be correct.

You know, you just don't know, but.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 51:54

If there's, at the end of my life Rob, if there's anything you didn't say that you should have and that you're feeling guilty, let me let you have the hook right now. Don't feel guilty.

because it wasn't meant to be either. So I don't, I always tell people that because I don't want to leave anybody feeling bad because I'm gone. Cause I got to tell you where we're going. It's got to be way fucking better than this. And I'm going to piece out on all of you with no looking back. I'm going to be like, I'll see you when I see you. Cause I know I'll see you again and I'm going to go. So I don't want anybody to live, to live hurting because I didn't take care of my hurt.

and he should have taken care of his. That shouldn't have been on your shoulders.

Robb (: 52:36

Yeah.

Robb (: 52:42

I agree, but I think it's more seizing the moment for a lot of different things. Like I said, maybe if I had to seize the moment, I could have talked to him out of it one more time. If I would have seized the moment on whatever, if I would have seized the moment on our friend, maybe I would have followed her across the country in the military and learned that I didn't love her the way I thought I did. You have to learn from everything.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 52:47

Yeah.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 53:05

Mmm.

Absolutely.

Robb (: 53:10

I'll tell you, I'll give you an example. The girl down the street, if I never date her, I'll never know that it didn't work. I'd rather date her and go, yeah, you are not what I thought you were. Because at least I can live with myself. So seizing the moments on both sides. Everyone has to seize the moment. Tomorrow, if you happen to meet somebody and you go goo goo, seize the moment. Because...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 53:22

Yeah.

Robb (: 53:38

You have to. We're not living to be happy anymore. We're living because we think we just have to live. And that's some bullshit. I don't want to live like that anymore. I want to try to find whatever happiness is. And I'll give you a pretty good example. I don't know exactly what that is. I think I know what happiness is. But...

I don't know. My friend down the street said that to me one time. She goes, I don't know if I know what happy is. And at the time I was like, what are you talking about? And then I went, yeah, I kind of get that. Happiness is whatever it is to all of us. So seize, seize it with everything. Grab a hold of that shit and own it. Whatever it is, job, relationship, fucking moving across the country.

you know, buying a new pair of shoes that you never thought you'd spend $1 ,000 on, whatever it is. You gotta seize the moment because the moment can be taken away from you so quickly.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 54:41

I totally agree with you and I think that the more you do it the more you choose life the more Chances that you take and I'm not saying be reckless, but I'm saying live for what you're working for don't work for what you live for late

Wait, I said that wrong. Did I say that wrong? I said that wrong. You want to work to live not live to work. So you you have to find you have to find things that make you happy. You have to you have to set goals that that come out of

Robb (: 54:57

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 55:05

For sure.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 55:13

your hard work. You can't just be like, I'm going to do this and that and have all this shit in the house that you can never see because you're always at work and a family who's growing up because you're at work, you know, everything's happening around you, but you're not in it. I think that people need to just look at life and say, I want to be in it and stop.

Robb (: 55:31

Mm -hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 55:36

Worrying about whatever's gonna happen next because there's always something that's gonna happen I'd rather not see it coming if you if you want to know the truth like Seeing those people go through the tornadoes. They're like, I knew it was coming down I was gonna see it fuck that I'd rather take an earthquake give it to me quick and let's be on our ride like you know, I I think that it's okay to just Live and I'm not saying to not

Robb (: 55:52

Yeah.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 56:00

be responsible or be reasonable there's still that you know you still have to pay your bills and do what you got to do but at the same token if if something in life is telling you you need to take a day to do something this way or that way take that day because the calendar is not gonna wait for you the the hours on the clock are not gonna wait for you but right now is where you're at so live it live it

Robb (: 56:18

Yeah, take a chance.

Nope.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 56:29

and put yourself in a position where you could think happy. Yes. And if you have things in your life that when you do them, they make you smile, that's what happy is. Go with that. Work with that. Take it in, acknowledge it. Start to change your...

Robb (: 56:30

Yeah, the clock is ticking.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 56:46

perspective on life because if you're not changing your perspective and everything is if the grass is only greener on the other side if the cup is only only half full and you only have half of it like you're never gonna find happiness. Seizing the moment helps you to do that.

Robb (: 57:02

Mm -hmm.

For sure. If you think no matter what you do is always the same, if it doesn't matter what I do because it always ends up shitty, or it doesn't matter who I pick because they always end up being an asshole, or if I always pick a job that's shitty, then keep seizing the moment until you find the one that works. If not, you're always gonna be miserable.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 57:29

And don't be afraid of failure because...

Robb (: 57:34

For sure, don't be afraid of failure. And you're not gonna make everyone happy. If you can make you happy, you're way ahead of the curve.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 57:39

good Lord, you're not. Yeah. You know, if you're just, if you just don't worry about having expectations, quit with the expectations. Just.

Robb (: 57:47

We're too worried about everyone else's happiness.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 57:54

Try to take in what you can now and enjoy that. Just do that. If you could just do that, you're closer to being happy. And when you look back and you see that life had all these beautiful moments in it, you will see that you could be happy because you've had all that, but you're not going to have it if you don't participate in life.

Robb (: 58:04

Yep.

Robb (: 58:16

Yeah, I don't want to be in my deathbed many years from now going, God, I wish I'd have did this.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 58:22

That's my biggest fear, that and losing my brother, the two ones that are always like, okay, that could be bad, I don't wanna go through those two things. And yeah, I'm with you on that. When I'm on my deathbed, I wanna say that was a bad idea, but that shit was funny. That's what I wanna do.

Robb (: 58:26

Yeah.

Robb (: 58:37

Okay.

Robb (: 58:43

Yeah, I want to look back whether it's me on my deathbed or my mate and at least we can look at each other and say we did this. Whatever. Yeah, I'll hold their hand when they're leaving or they'll hold my hand when I'm leaving. But at least we can look back and go, we fucking seized the moment. That's it. That's.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 58:55

Yep.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 59:08

Absolutely.

Robb (: 59:11

That's what this is. That's what life's about, seizing a moment and trying to get through this hellish fucking landscape with some kind of happiness. And if it's with someone or doing something that makes you happy, do it.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 59:29

The trick is do it right now. No matter what position you are in life, no matter what you feel like you're going with or without, like it's right now. It's just right now. Make the most of it.

Robb (: 59:41

Mm -hmm. Look, you can be rich and unhappy and poor and the happiest person in the world. So it's not about that. It's about finding the thing that makes you want to get up in the morning and live. Because so many people don't. So many people just stagger through life and keep, you know,

living the same day over and over and over. I don't want to live the same day over and over. I want to do something different or I want to make sure that the people that are around me are having experiences, whatever that is. It's already hard enough. I don't want to do that.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 01:00:24

See, and I don't, you said make.

You said to find something and I think that that's, you said find something that makes you happy. And for me, that's very different. Being happy is a mindset. Nobody could change your feelings but you. So you have to go in being grateful and living in a...

Robb (: 01:00:30

I said what?

Tina Marie Garcia (: 01:00:47

peaceful place and that's where happy starts like it's not anything that anybody could give you it's not anything anybody could show you it has to it's an internal thing you have to wake up with some gratitude and some a little bit of hope and just be internally grateful for the life you have and enjoy what's around you and then things will just kind of fall in where they need to

Robb (: 01:01:18

I think we leave it at that.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 01:01:20

I think we should.

Robb (: 01:01:23

Always coming up with the last word there, Tina. And just so you know.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 01:01:26

You know, I've been told I always have to have the last word. I don't know if that's a good thing. Thank you.

Robb (: 01:01:33

That's why I always let you do it every week. It's much easier. Hey, make sure you check out our social. Make sure you check out our social media, Facebook, Instagram X. You can check us out on Spotify, Apple, every podcasting place you can figuratively go to because they're everywhere. You can check us out on YouTube, YouTube Music. And once you get this, share it, send it to somebody.

Make sure other people are listening so we can get some feedback. You can go on to any of those sites and leave a review, stars, all that kind of fun stuff. It helps us out. And hey, it's an opinion show. Don't get it twisted. Keep coming back every Wednesday and check us out. For my cohost Tina, I'm Rob and we'll see you in a week. Bye.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 01:02:26

See ya.