Ep # 173 Trad Wives: Revisiting 50s Ideals

Robb (: 00:01

Hey, welcome to another show of Don't Get This Twisted. I am Rob along with my co-host Tina. How you doing, Tina? I'm I've had a day. I had a day today, so I lost a friend to cancer, so. It's what it's ex-girlfriend of mine from 11th grade. It's kind of one of those things where it's like, hmm, yeah, like we're getting older and you got to live every day because if you don't.

Tina (: 00:07

I'm good, I'm hanging in there Rob, how you doing?

Robb (: 00:29

You just not promised anything so. Yeah, yeah, and I think that you know, look, we have a new year coming in and we just did the show on, you know, new year and knew you. I think that that's. A big thing. I was sent something the other day by my friend down the street and was basically like, look, you know. It's in God's hands and it's true and you you need to not.

Tina (: 00:32

Yeah, and this is gonna be happening more and more.

Tina (: 00:45

Mm-hmm. I agree.

Robb (: 00:56

try to force things or you you plant your seed and water it and if it's meant to happen it will. Which I look I'm a true believer you know you can't plant the seed and then hope to bear fruit in a week like you have to you know you have to keep watering it. But that being said you may never get to get to that fruit if you keep you know farting around or this life gets in the way so I think it's a big mixture of that I think that you know.

Like I saw something on some TV show and it says the how you know they're good men out there is that they'll plant trees within that they'll never see the shade of. You know, it's like it's kind of a good way of looking at life. It's like good people will maybe not see the the fruits of their labor. So and.

Tina (: 01:40

you

Tina (: 01:50

And life happens while waiting for that tree to grow too.

Robb (: 01:54

Yeah, and sometimes you have to go and, and, you know, help the tree out a little bit and push it forward. But, you know, I mean, like I said, it's a it's a sad thing. And she we still talked a little bit and she was very religious and a Christian and talked about God a lot. So I would say that I believe she's in a better place and she's not hurting anymore because she battled it for four years. So. But yeah.

It's one of those days. it's okay. think that's like it's you start thinking about your that we're just we're not going to live forever and you got to fucking live now and do whatever it is you're looking for and and take some chances. And I think that this year that's going to be my my big mantra like push things forward a little bit and and you know, get make some

Tina (: 02:25

I'm sorry.

Tina (: 02:36

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 02:45

There you go.

Robb (: 02:53

lines in the sand and say hey I think we all should and there's a lot of people going through a lot of shit so but that being said I sent you something the other day I saw this this thing on it was on MSN like just my my front page and it was from a place it was from them

but it was like, it was called interesting facts. And it was just kind of going over something that says 15 old fashioned wife rules from the 50s making a comeback. And I had to click on it because I wanted to see kind of what it was they were talking about. And look, and they were talking about a trad wife. And if people don't know a trad wife is a traditional wife, which is very 50s. And most people would say are outdated.

Tina (: 03:33

you

Robb (: 03:49

things that we did in the 50s are outdated because women have changed for those years and have become grossly independent and you know, boss bitches. So that being said, I thought I'd click on these things and then I started reading them and I was like, I have to send this to Tina because she's either going to get a giggle like I did and but probably agree with some of them and we'll go over the 15 and we'll try to knock him out as quickly as possible. But I'm sure we're going to have things to say. So

Tina (: 04:01

you

Robb (: 04:20

So what I'm going to do here is I on my side, I'm going to bring this up, but I can still see you still chatting. OK, so basically, Chadwife 50 has come back. First one. Always greet your husband with a smile and a kiss. I think that this is definitely something missing. Do you have to run to the door? No.

Tina (: 04:37

I agree with that.

Robb (: 04:49

I think that, you know, I mean, that would be just as great. And but I do believe that there is something about greeting each other, whoever's home first. And it doesn't have to be this make out session, but I think you should take a minute or two to embrace, kiss each other, you know, say, I'm glad you're home safe and then do whatever it is that continues after that. And that could be.

starting dinner you know whatever take a shower get ready for the night whatever it is but I believe that this is definitely something that would make your relationship better with your husband because most people don't really understand that men are very affectionate and want that more I think that's something missing and people don't believe that

Tina (: 05:43

Well, don't you normally greet somebody when they come in from outside? I mean, if they're not in and out, in and out all day long, but I mean, if my friend comes over, I greet her. If my dad comes over, I greet him. Why wouldn't I greet my significant other? They should be acknowledged before anything. No, that's just my opinion.

Robb (: 06:05

Agree. Now, but I've heard that I've heard from somebody else that that them and their mate

kind of got in an argument because he wanted some of that and she was like, you know, let me get in the house and blah, blah, blah. And I'm and look, I'll fight for that one. I think that there's it doesn't have to be like I said, a make out session or it doesn't have to turn into anything or whatever. But I think an embrace, a hug, a kiss, I'm glad you're home. That's something that that makes sure that everybody understands that I'm glad you're here.

Tina (: 06:42

Yeah, and also if you're bringing in a bunch of shit, doesn't it make sense that he would grab some of it from you? mean, so why would you not say hello to him? I don't know. I have a hard time with that one.

Robb (: 06:49

For sure. Right. And look, if you come home from the grocery store and you're carrying shit in, like I understand, but put it down as soon as you get inside, stop, embrace, kiss, say I'm glad you're home, and then get on to the rest of the groceries. It doesn't take a lot to make someone smile and feel appreciated.

Tina (: 06:59

Yeah, put it down and then say hi.

Tina (: 07:07

Yes.

Robb (: 07:15

All right, number two. two. Number two. Have dinner ready on time. down.

Tina (: 07:15

I agree.

Tina (: 07:25

I was that wife. I would call him and ask him what time he'd be there, and as soon as he was there, food was on the table. He didn't like that though, because he needed to come in, de-stress, of change his clothes. He had to wind down. So that was a problem for us trying to figure out how to do that. But I was very much that woman.

Robb (: 07:53

Yeah, this is and I'll say what it says underneath the picture it says for 50s housewives having a hot meal ready and on the table for their husbands was a non-negotiable. This meant, you know, planning meals, shopping, but to be fair, they generally didn't work.

Tina (: 08:03

Mm.

Robb (: 08:10

And it says today with both parties often working outside the home, this rule may seem impractical. However, the importance of shared meals and dedicated time together still holds value. Whether it's cooking together or ordering takeout, prioritizing quality time over rigid schedules can foster connection and intimacy. 145%. You should share a meal together. There's something about sitting at the table and

Tina (: 08:32

Yeah.

Robb (: 08:40

venting or talking about how good things are at work, whatever it is that I totally agree with that. And I'm I'm big on cooking together either. But I know a lot of women don't want men in the kitchen. But I believe that there's other things you can do like when my friend down the street and I'm over there, if she's cooking, I try to do the dishes while she's cooking.

Because she won't let me do anything like I can't handle a knife or anything and I I want to kind of tell her that you know I have been single for a long long long time and I know how to handle a knife and you know help out But that being said I think that this is very important that just the dedicated time to share a meal together is very important and again It just shows you that just like number one. It's fostering connection and intimacy

Tina (: 09:12

you

Tina (: 09:27

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 09:37

And I think that you'll find yourself with more of that coming out of a lot of these things. OK. Here's number three. This one is keep the house clean and tidy. Right?

Tina (: 09:45

I agree.

Tina (: 09:51

That was big in my house too for both of us. Although he was very rigid in how everything had its place and I wasn't so much. So he felt like I was a big pain in the ass because I didn't put things exactly where they should be.

Robb (: 10:06

Yeah, I'm a little OCD when it comes to stuff like that. But more like in drawers, maybe like in the bathroom or like because I put certain things in certain places that I don't want to, you know, look all over for. Although I've been really bad at that lately just because I've had more shit than cupboard space. So I need to kind of go on go on a spring cleaning again.

Tina (: 10:14

Excuse me.

Tina (: 10:32

Get rid of stuff. Yeah.

Robb (: 10:34

And I told my friend down the street that she wants to have a garage sale. I'm going to start putting boxes together. if we do that, I can take shit down to her. But it does say while it was easy in the 50s, obviously, because the daily chores were easy because you that was your job. You weren't cleaning. You weren't going to work. This is why modern couples often share household responsibilities. The importance of a clean and organized living space remains. A tidy home can contribute to a sense of calm and well-being, regardless of

Tina (: 10:40

There you go. Yeah.

Robb (: 11:02

who's responsible for maintaining it. Again, 120%. That is very true. I believe that you should share the responsibilities. Some people are better at some things than others. I would hope that my mate would tell me that she would prefer me to do certain things. I think and I and when I think about

Tina (: 11:07

I agree.

Robb (: 11:32

household chores. also think like the yard things like that because I think that that's kind of one big thing. Heidi house. like, but look, I can mop with the with the best of them. Again, I've been single too long. So like, I've done all this shit. I cook clean, do everything. So I just think that I think that you should share responsibilities and everyone should know what they do. There's

Tina (: 11:40

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 11:58

I don't know what that's like though because I was in charge. He even said it. I'll be in charge of everything outside and the bills. You be in charge of everything inside and the shopping. And so I didn't have a lot of help on the inside. There were times when I'd say, hey, I need to clean behind the refrigerator or I need you to get up there and clean the fans with me. And he would do that, but I had to ask for it. wasn't something that he, he would line up for.

Robb (: 12:19

Mm-hmm. Right, and look, I think everyone should ask for everything.

Tina (: 12:27

You know what I mean, it had to be.

Robb (: 12:31

But if you're going to have chores, there's nothing wrong with. And again, I'm a big like list person. I'm I'm okay with having my name on a whiteboard with all the shit I'm supposed to do. I have no problem with that. I just think that that's that's also keeping people. Responsible accountable for what you're supposed to do. So, but I definitely think that that's an important thing. And a clean household makes for it does it does make for a sense of common well-being.

Tina (: 12:31

Yeah.

Tina (: 12:39

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 12:48

accountable. Yeah.

Robb (: 13:00

I agree with it. Okay, number four. This one, this one I think we're gonna get some slack on. Dress to impress for your husband. In the 50s, women were expected to dress elegantly and stylish for their husbands while doing housework. This meant donning dresses, heels, and makeup to create the alluring appearance of doing everyday jobs.

Tina (: 13:00

Absolutely, and it's a home you want to stay in.

Tina (: 13:25

So, know, when I was married, I made sure that I stayed dressed until he came home and saw that I was dressed. Like, just so he knew I was up and around and doing whatever I was doing. just, I don't know, I felt more comfortable that way. But once he got home and, you know, he would immediately get changed, then I would change too. But at least he saw that I was out and about and was productive and clean. Yeah.

Robb (: 13:29

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

So this is what this is and I'm going to agree with this and I'll tell you why, but it says while modern women may not adhere to such strict dress codes, making an effort to look and feel your best can boost confidence and self-esteem. Dressing in a way that makes you feel attractive can positively impact your relationship and overall wellbeing. I'll tell you now that I agree with that just from my point of view.

I've gone out with my friend and it's nice to wear a dress shirt and jeans and look nice and smell good and because you do feel you feel way better and it does boost your confidence and self-esteem and to have that kind of bounced off of you is great. So in a household thing to come home and and see your wife or girlfriend looking attractive

Which isn't that you don't have to look drop dead gorgeous. You don't have to have heels and you know, whatever on but there is something about Still looking cute. You can you can dress up sweats and a t-shirt and still look pretty. You know what I mean?

Tina (: 15:05

Yeah, and I also think too that men are such visual creatures that if you're always looking like a big slob and you don't take care of yourself, they are seeing what is opposite of you out there. So I always say give yourself the best hand up that you can and.

Robb (: 15:20

Correct. And and like and to be and like and I'll be fair to the the other side of that. friend down the street goes to the gym with me in the morning. She wears zero makeup. And that's a fine. I've seen her with zero makeup on and hair in a bun and still look super cute. But that's also because I think she's super cute.

Tina (: 15:26

put on some makeup, your best.

Tina (: 15:45

Yeah.

Robb (: 15:49

So there's something in that. So when I saw her dolled up, we went out to a comedy show. I remember walking in the house and again, I see her all the time, but she was, I thought she looked dolled up to me and my jaw hit the ground. And I remember she was looking in the mirror and she wanted to change because she didn't like what she was wearing or she was going through that stage. And I remember walking up to her and just whispering in her like, do not change what you have on, you look hot.

Like don't do it. So there is something about dressing to impress, but I think men have to do the same. You have to look good for your mate. I think it makes everybody have confidence and go, wow, like he looks good for me and he's dressing up. I always told you before on here that I think there's something to that. Like if she's going to wear something really good and look nice, I'm going to do the same.

And if she's wearing, you know, sweats and a t-shirt, I can dress that down and I can still look presentable. So I think there's something to that. And again, I think that it'll make it impact your relationship. You dress up for your man or you wear something sexy for your man and you want some loving. I guarantee you he's going to recognize that. Every time. All right, number five, this is going to be a hard one, because I think that

Tina (: 16:56

Exactly.

Tina (: 17:11

Yep, I agree.

Robb (: 17:18

There's something to it because we all do it but it says never complain or nag. By traditional standards a wife was cheerful and supportive. This meant avoiding complaints, nagging, or any negativity that could disrupt the husband's peace and tranquility. boy

Tina (: 17:37

You know, I, again, I don't think you should nag, but there should be a way that you have good communication to where you could get your point across. He could hear you and then things change. And, and I tried, that was one thing I tried really hard with my ex because any sort of emotional outbursts were not, you know, his thing. He didn't, he was shut down. He'd go in his room. He'd leave me alone. He wasn't going to communicate with me period.

Robb (: 17:47

You

Tina (: 18:06

And I find that most men are like that. So I think it's good to have communication, let somebody know, hey, I really could use help with that. But nagging, don't believe men hear that.

Robb (: 18:17

No, we don't. And look, the thing is this is you have to have constructive criticism. I think you don't and that's both sides, but both sides need to be able to take it every blue moon on the chin and go, okay, she's telling me or he's telling me this because of this.

Tina (: 18:30

Yeah.

Robb (: 18:43

This is what it says while open communication is crucial in modern relationships the importance of choosing your battles wisely remains instead of focusing on minor annoyances address issues constructively and Are constructively to foster positive and supportive environment that is both sides people Look no one should nag but you should also if it gets past asking twice

Tina (: 18:43

Yes.

Tina (: 19:03

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 19:12

Then there's a problem. So. So it's that I believe that that's true. Yeah, for sure. And it's it's a two way street and look and. Look, there's going to be things that you're you're going to nag over a little bit.

Tina (: 19:20

And it's not just, it's a problem not just for the person that's nagging, it's a problem for the person that's not like, getting their shit together.

Tina (: 19:32

It's a two-way street.

Robb (: 19:42

But but let's hope that that doesn't again. It's a mire annoyance. Just help out. Like I told you before, and I've told you a hundred times, women will complain that men leave their socks on the floor. Men will never tell their woman what annoys them. They just fix it. They we just if we walk by and there's a shirt on the ground, we just pick it up and throw it in the laundry and go. We don't have to hunt you down and go, did you see that you left this on the floor? We just don't do that. Most men.

There are some guys that do it and like that's just the way it is. Number six, be a good listener. It was expected in the 50s to be an attentive listener, sympathetic to your husband's concerns, offering words of encouragement.

Tina (: 20:19

percent.

Tina (: 20:26

I think men really need that. And if you're not their sounding board, they're really going without something that they need. I think it's very important to listen to them.

Robb (: 20:39

I look we all need we all need affirming words I believe that men get way less I mean the suicide rate wouldn't be almost four to one if we did we just don't and I'll say it and I know that we could argue until we're blue in the face people don't care about men

Tina (: 20:47

Yes.

Robb (: 21:09

generally. We fight our own battles, we suffer in silence, and if we're lucky...

Tina (: 21:15

You guys also make it really hard though, because I have friends that are guys and trying to get them to talk to me is next to impossible. You excluded. You and I, we could talk about whatever and you'll tell me what's going on. But the majority of them, they don't. And you could see the angst and the worry in their faces and you could ask what's going on or how they doing and you don't get an answer.

Robb (: 21:38

Yeah. No, I agree. And look, I think a lot of women have people they can, you know, they have a lot of more friends than men. They can.

Tina (: 21:45

I have a problem with that personally because I am a talker. So I always say, talk to me. Tell me what you need. What is going on with you? But they don't want to do that.

Tina (: 22:06

Yes.

Robb (: 22:07

But but look both of these and I think it's both sides you have to communicate with your mate so they don't have to communicate with somebody It says an active listening remains valuable skill in a relationship by giving your partner your undivided attention and validating their feelings You can foster deeper emotional intimacy and understanding look we have a phone in our hand if if we're having a conversation put your fucking phone down I Don't care who it is. I don't care who's texting. I don't care if it's

Tina (: 22:14

Yes, I agree with

Tina (: 22:31

I agree.

Robb (: 22:36

family. None of that. You need to take care of things. There's just a lot I think to that one. So number seven. Here's one that's funny. Don't interrupt your husband. Yikes. That's a rough one. says interrupting was considered rude and disrespectful in the 1950s when women were expected to wait their turn to speak and avoid interrupting their husbands even if they had something important to say.

Tina (: 22:50

Yeah, I'm not good at that.

Tina (: 23:05

I think everybody should wait their turn to speak.

Robb (: 23:10

I agree and look I think that both of us both sexes are very guilty of cutting people off. It's okay. Look we're also lobbing balls back to each other playing tennis while we're doing this. That's a little different. If you're in a relationship

Tina (: 23:19

Agreed. You and I do it. I do it a lot to you. I'm sorry, Rob.

Robb (: 23:35

Both sides should be able to say, I need to say something and let it rip. And at the end, say, I want to hear what you have to say. And I know that's difficult, but that's what needs to try to happen. This is what it says for the modern. says, while modern communication styles are less formal, respecting your partner's thoughts and allowing them to finish speaking is still essential. Active listening and avoiding interruptions can lead to more productive and respectful conversations.

Tina (: 23:48

I agree.

Robb (: 24:04

I you can't hit that more on the head. I think everyone has to get their turn in. But I think that both sexes are horrible at not cutting people off. All righty. Number eight, support your husband's career. I think I think this is a no brainer on both sides, though. It's just a no brainer. Like, look.

Tina (: 24:18

I agree.

Tina (: 24:25

I agree with that.

Robb (: 24:33

And again, there's there's to a point it's like look if you're if you're 45 and you want to be a rapper You know Should you support it? Sure, but are the odds there probably not? So you should support it from the outside in your your mate should still have a a decent living while Still pursuing something else. I think everyone should be supportive

Tina (: 24:42

Huh.

Robb (: 25:02

of whatever it is your mate wants to do. It's just important. just you have to to do that. It says, while modern couples often share career ambitions, mutual support and encouragement remain vital. Celebrating each other's achievements and providing a strong support system can help both partners thrive in their personal and professional lives.

Tina (: 25:06

I agree.

Tina (: 25:25

And it just feels good to be supported. You know, I even doing the basket weaving, I started selling them this year and everybody was like, it's going to be so great. You're going to do so well. And that was including my male friends. And I think I took it more personally from my male friends than I did from my female friends, because my female friends will go down the cliff with me. We're all super close, you know, and

Robb (: 25:32

Right.

Tina (: 25:54

But if the guys are saying it, the guys are saying it more because they believe it. At least that's how I feel about it. My friends are super supportive, but even when they shouldn't be.

Robb (: 26:07

Yeah, I think from a relationship standpoint if if you're with somebody You should always push them to be better and it doesn't even have to it can be on a small scale Whatever it is. Just everyone should be like hey, you should do this and Mostly when they want to it's like hey I really want to get this done because it would make me feel better than cool. Go do it Like I don't have enough time

Tina (: 26:14

Yes.

Agreed.

Tina (: 26:29

Yeah.

Robb (: 26:31

Well, I'll help you make the time. What can I do to help you out so you can go study for this or you can go do this or, you know, whatever. And that's both sides. There's something to that, I think. I think in a modern relationship, most of these are going to be a two way street because we all work. Here's number nine. I think this is kind of a super no brainer and I think modern. Well, maybe not modern men. Fuck who knows? It says be a good mother.

Tina (: 26:33

Right?

Robb (: 27:01

Motherhood often was considered a woman's primary role in the 50s. It was an occupation. It was considered to be vital importance to families and the community at large. I'm a big thing of that. Because once you raise a child, I think it gives you something else. That's one of the best qualities about my friend down the street. I think she's a great mom. And that's...

Tina (: 27:10

I agree with that. I agree with that. 100%.

Robb (: 27:28

I don't want to say a turn on, but it is a turn on. There's something to that that when you see that because it's drive and it's we know how hard it is to raise some a child. It's hard. And when you see. No, I just say when you see it.

Tina (: 27:41

Right? remember my, I'm sorry, go ahead. My ex, my ex told me that he fell in love with me through watching me with the kids. Like how the kids wanted to be around me and always touching and playing with me and how I spent time with them, you know, doing things with them. And he said, you were a ferocious, you were a ferocious.

opponent if somebody was mean to a child but you were also the most loving person and would go out of your way to be around and to give kids time and he found that very attractive. That was what made him fall in love with me so I get that. But yeah I think that if you're gonna have a kid put your all into it just spare yourself having a shitty kid for the rest of your life because you didn't do your part.

Robb (: 28:22

Yeah. I get it.

Tina (: 28:39

Like...

Robb (: 28:40

Yeah, I mean, I mean, I see her around her grandkids and it and it I can see, you know, she was was I'm sure she was a great mom when they were children children. They're older now they're all in you know, above 22. But

when I see her with the grandkids, it's it's it's funny because I was kind of hard on one of them because I'm in dad mode. That's just what I am. And she kind of put me in check and I had to stop for a second and go, yeah, you're right. Like, yeah, I am going over that. But but then she kind of explained to me the next day, like this is kind of why I I let it slide. And I was like, OK, I get that. But that's just being a good mom. And I think like it says.

While the concept of mother motherhood has evolved, the importance of providing a loving and supportive environment for children remains. Whether you're a stay at home parent or working outside the home, prioritizing your children's needs and fostering their development is a key aspect of parenthood. Absolutely, and the better your children are, you know, the better respect you'll get. Your your mate on both sides will see that you're either a good mom or a good father, and that turn on.

Tina (: 29:39

Absolutely.

Tina (: 29:53

very much.

Robb (: 29:54

All right, number number 10, be a good cook. boy, you could. I wholeheartedly agree. I think. And. And like to be fair and again, the person on the streets, not my mate, but I've spent a lot of time with her lately. And over the last eight months.

Tina (: 30:02

I agree. I don't know. There's some people that just shouldn't be cooking.

Robb (: 30:22

She's cooked a lot for me and I've missed that. Home cooked meals are way better when they're cooked by someone who knows how to cook. I cook at home, but I'm a simpleton and I've tried a shit ton of things over the last eight months that I would have never ate and it's because that she was like here and just literally would take things out of a pan and shove it in my mouth and go, hey, what do you think?

So yes, when I went out to breakfast with her yesterday, we're eating and she had gotten eggs benedict, which I'd never had before in my life. And I was like, Hey, what is that? She told me and I, she goes here, try it. And I took a big bite of it. So like having someone who can cook that can make things with flavor and it it's essential and talk about something that will change your life as a man.

Tina (: 30:58

they're delicious.

Robb (: 31:18

This what it says. says culinary schools were highly valued in the 1950s and women were expected to be proficient in the kitchen. This meant preparing delicious and nutritious meals for the families often from scratch. Also happens that she cooks everything from scratch, which I know you do the same. It says while modern couples may rely on convenience foods or takeout, cooking together can be a fun and bonding experience. Exploring new recipes and sharing culinary creations can add new interest.

Tina (: 31:30

Hmm.

Tina (: 31:34

Yeah.

Robb (: 31:48

to your relationship and create lasting memories. I agree and look men that listen to this show or actually women who listen to the show high five because when you are around people who can cook very good. I've lost a lot of weight in the last eight months but I could find myself I make jokes to her all the time like man if I was ever with you I'd be as big as a house because she cooks good food. So.

Tina (: 31:51

Yes, I agree.

Robb (: 32:17

It's important and I think that women if you spoil your man with food He will be a good man Because we like food and sex So We're simple Because we're simple creatures Yes, yeah what and again that's just because we are simple creatures we are and and I think

Tina (: 32:28

They're guys are pretty easy to keep happy or to keep content Sex is one of those things feed them

Tina (: 32:45

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 32:46

And not to say that women can't be, but generally you're not. So. Ooh, get a little closer to your mic there, lady. Can't hear you. So. Here's a good one. And I think that this is kind of. This is kind of a bigger one. And I think this, yes, perfect. Here's one that I think is.

Tina (: 32:50

I catch you.

Tina (: 32:56

Are you not hearing me?

Tina (: 33:10

Do you hear me now?

Robb (: 33:15

for both sides, but and I'm going to say that I think women are just do it more. Don't discuss marital or relationship problems with others. It said in the 1950s, emphasize the importance of maintaining a united front in marriage discussing marital problems with friends or family was discouraged as it was seen as airing dirty laundry and

Tina (: 33:28

That's a big one.

Robb (: 33:42

potentially damaging the couple's reputation. That's exactly the same thing today. Nothing has changed. If. Yes. Because once you shit on them one time, your friends will always think they're that shitty guy. No matter what. So and I think that.

Tina (: 33:45

Mmm.

Tina (: 33:50

I believe that you always want to talk about your mate in the best possible light.

Tina (: 34:04

Yeah, I agree.

Robb (: 34:09

Like I've talked before on here before and people hate it. It really don't do it with single friends because they'll bury him every single time because that misery loves company. It says while seeking outside support can be helpful in modern relationships, discretion is still important. Choosing trustworthy confidence and focusing on situations rather than simply venting can lead to a healthier communication and conflict resolution.

Tina (: 34:19

yeah.

Absolutely.

Tina (: 34:36

Absolutely.

Robb (: 34:38

Yeah, I would say trustworthy confidence are people who are professionals who have no horse in the race. If you can talk to someone on the outside who isn't your friend, they're generally going to tell you you're stupid. And they're going to say, stop arguing over this shit. They're good people. You know, don't ruin something that is good because of something so stupid.

where your friends or relationship people or family will be like, well, fuck it, just leave them because it's so easy to do now. You know, I think you need to be careful about getting rid of good people in your life over something stupid when someone else is telling you you're stupid instead of the people that you live with. I think communication within the couple starts there. I forgot where I heard it.

Tina (: 35:16

Yep.

Robb (: 35:35

But someone was talking about when you start dating somebody you should do couples therapy I think you have to find one Weary

Tina (: 35:41

I don't know about all that. a lot of counselors kind of suck, to be honest with you. I've heard so many bad people that, or bad counselors that just really messed up a relationship before they even got a chance to fix it. And I would be very cautious of that. Leery, leery. Yeah.

Robb (: 36:05

Yeah. So here's one that I think is good and bad, guess. Be a gracious hostess. Entertaining guests was a common occurrence in the 1950s and women were expected to be gracious hostess. This involved preparing elaborate meals, assuring the house was immaculate and making guests feel welcome and comfortable.

Tina (: 36:22

I agree with that.

Tina (: 36:29

Mmm, I agree with that still

Robb (: 36:31

Yeah, I think that that's a 50s, 60s, 70s thing. I mean, our parents did that. Right.

Tina (: 36:36

Yeah. But you want people to have fun in your house. You want them to feel comfortable and they don't want to they don't want to come into your house with an overflowing bathroom bathroom trash can or hair all over the sink. Like clean that shit up. Like that doesn't make me comfortable when I walk into somebody's filth.

Robb (: 37:02

Agree. It says, while entertaining in the modern age may be less formal, the art of hospitality remains relevant. Welcoming friends and family into your home and creating a warm and inviting atmosphere can foster lasting connections and create cherished memories. I agree. If you're going to hang out with your friends that might hang out a lot, they want to feel like they're in a place where you and your mate aren't going to fight. You're not going to get drunk.

You're not going to argue with each other because it makes just for a horrible visit. It's bad. I've I've been around my friend. And he and his wife. Were very intoxicated and screaming at each other. From the balcony of their house to the outside, where we were sitting. It was.

Tina (: 37:35

Yeah, it's sloppy too.

Tina (: 37:54

so fun. Yeah, my friends have torn it up like that too. It's... I'm the one that seems to be in the mix though, because I'm trying to calm their asses down. Not fun. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 37:59

It was rough, I'm telling you. It was very difficult. So I couldn't... I have issues being around them when they're intoxicated. And look, I've... I can tell you I'm a happy drunk and I generally keep very small social circles and I kind of know my place.

Tina (: 38:18

you

Robb (: 38:29

I know my lane. I don't get out of control. I do things a certain way so I get a buzz and I stop. But I it's you do want people to feel comfortable and come over. I don't know about you know, I think everyone should be a gracious host. If you're hosting the event, you should be gracious. It's nice. Alright, here's number 13. Here's one that's going to rattle some feathers. It says be financially responsible. So woman.

Tina (: 38:46

Yes.

Robb (: 38:58

Be financially responsible. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Tina (: 38:59

I think that's important because if you're out spending money that you guys don't have and you end up in a lot of debt that he's worried about paying for because he was the one working, know, if we're talking back in the 50s, that's what men were doing, were working. If they can't pay for what, you you purchase, that's going to make it very uncomfortable.

Robb (: 39:22

Well, here's one for you that I didn't know, but it's pretty interesting. It says, the 1950s, women were often responsible for managing household finances, budgeting for groceries and assuring that the bills were paid on time. This required careful planning and resourcefulness. I didn't know that, but it does make sense since they were home all day. They could probably make sure that the checkbook was balanced and that bills were getting paid. You know, in the 50s, they had a lot of

weird shit too, like the milk got delivered. So like you'd, you'd pay the milk man or you'd, you know, so it was a much different time, but I, I understand because the man was out working, putting money in the bank and she was out making sure that everything got paid. says while modern couples often share financial responsibilities, being financially responsible and contributing to the household budget is still important. Creating a budget.

tracking expenses and saving for the future can contribute to financial stability and peace of mind. Yes, I think that both sides of that need to be on the right page. And look, I think that you should spoil yourself. There's nothing wrong with that as long as everyone as long as the major shit is getting paid. Like, I'm a big fan of I was telling my friend on the street like hair nails, but I like

my girl to be pretty, I would pay for her hair and nails to get done. That's just me. Yeah, see? To me, that's just, and I told her I would do it for her. go, that's just, I want to make sure because she feels prettier when her hair and nails are done. And if she feels prettier, you know what's going to happen. I get the best part of that. If, you know, if, and like,

Tina (: 40:50

I have never had anybody do that and I would love that.

Tina (: 41:11

pray.

Robb (: 41:13

I buy clothes. I bought her a couple of things. And she had never had any guy buy her anything. And she was like, like shocking. And I go, if I think you're going to look pretty in it and you end up liking it and you feel pretty in it, I'm going to, I'm going to get something from that. You're going to feel pretty. We might go out. I'm going to get lucky. So it's, but you know, but look, you can't.

You can't do things if you don't have the money. There is financial responsibility. You can't just go out and shit the bed because that's what you want to do and then go, well, I'll see what happens at the end of the month. You just can't do that. I can't live like that, but I'm also a single man and I pay my bills way ahead of time because I'm scared and I want to make sure that all my shit's paid and I'll suffer for a week. Number 14, be respectful.

Tina (: 42:08

I hear you.

Robb (: 42:10

Respectful of your husband's authority. Boy, let me read the 50s one first and then we'll get into the modern take on that. The 1950s emphasized traditional gender roles with the husband often seen as the head of the household. Wives were expected to be respectful of their husband's authority and defer to their decisions.

Tina (: 42:32

I think that that happens on both sides Like there you know when when I was raising my daughter he had to defer to my choice there's what I was doing because I Was doing it where as when he made choices I had to defer to his You know and support that but he didn't ever make bad choices so To me it wasn't a that was an hard one you pick somebody that's gonna

do the right thing and you just go with it.

Robb (: 43:03

Right. Look, we've talked about it on here several times. I think.

Traditional gender roles work. They've worked for thousands of years and they can still work today. Look, I get it. I think that it's important that someone tries to lead. When men lead, think women are more, they like that. Right? They want someone to take that

Tina (: 43:35

Yes.

Robb (: 43:37

off their shoulders. And I think that's important. This is as well modern relationships are more egalitarian. Multiple mutual respect remains essential. Believing each other's opinions and making decisions to get together can lead to a stronger and more harmonious partnership. Yes, I think major things need to always be discussed. That's just reality because then

Tina (: 43:39

and be fantastic. Yeah.

Tina (: 44:04

Agreed.

Robb (: 44:07

No one gets ass hurt over it. Right? But I do believe that, look, even in passing, you should go, hey, I'm going to do this to the bill. I'm going to, you know, turn the Internet speed down and we're going to pay less. Why? Just because we don't need it. We're not doing this and this and that. I think everything should be talked about in passing, even if it's something small, but it shouldn't have to be discussed in major.

Tina (: 44:11

I agree.

Robb (: 44:36

You know things But I look I think there's something to having a leader and I think if At least the women around me She my friend has told me that like she likes where the man is in control and does everything so she has less to worry about Because it makes for people have it gives you peace it gives everyone peace

Tina (: 44:59

I agree.

Robb (: 45:06

So I think there's something to that. All right, number 15, since we're close here to the end. Which I think this one is kind of a no go, but you can probably do it in today's modern thing. says don't work outside the home. It says in the 19... Yeah, in the 1950s, women were often discouraged from working outside the home. Their primary focus was...

Tina (: 45:07

I agree.

Tina (: 45:23

Yeah, that's... we should just throw that shit out the window.

Robb (: 45:33

expected to be maintaining the home and raising children. It'd be amazing. It would be amazing. And I think that that comes only from if you have a family. You know, I mean, look, there's, if you can have two incomes and build and then have a family and then your wife can stay home because you've built savings, awesome.

Tina (: 45:36

Look, in a perfect world, that would be great. But that's not the way our life is. Yeah.

Tina (: 45:48

Agreed.

Robb (: 46:03

It says, today women have more career opportunities than ever before. However, the choice to be a stay at home parent or pursue a career is a personal one. What's important is finding balance that works for you and your family. I also think today there's a lot of work from home jobs that you could probably get a few hours here and there and still make a decent.

living to the household and still be around your kids. But I get it. mean, look, if there if if I could marry someone and not have to have two incomes, which means not live in the state of California, it would be amazing. There's some because there's then all these things would would happen. Right. You wouldn't have to worry about the house being dirty or not having dinner ready or not being.

greeted at the door, it would be a lot easier because everyone she would be home all the time. So, look, I when I when I went through these the first time I thought to myself like, there's just no way. But now that we've kind of gone over them. I think a lot of them are sustainable.

Tina (: 47:06

this.

Tina (: 47:24

They are, they're totally are, but it's also about putting your mate in a place of importance. And if you put your mate in a place of importance, you'll want to do things like that. And you should.

Robb (: 47:29

Yeah. I think that's a lost art as well. Putting your mate in importance. There is something to that. And again, I guess it all matters where you're at in life. But like we should all have friendships and we should all have hobbies. They're very important. But I also think I think it should be the 90 10 rule.

Tina (: 47:54

I agree.

Robb (: 47:58

Your hobbies and your friends should be 10 % of your life. The other 90 should be your mate. But that's me. I just think there's something to that. If you want a sustainable relationship and again, relationships are different in the 40s and 50s and we can't argue that. Or we can't argue it. We can, know, until we're blue in the face. But I saw a couple, I was at the doctor's office and I saw this couple get off the elevator that had to be

Tina (: 48:05

and get that.

Robb (: 48:28

in their mid 80s maybe yeah mid 80s and he got off and he and he still had his hand on her back and started to hold her hand and she was like walking slow and both of them walked slow and sat down and to myself I thought what have they been through right everything every modern shithead thing that could be done every you know

Tina (: 48:48

everything everything

Robb (: 48:57

They the modern phone the computer they went through every the bar scene everything and they're still together and Yes And I'll say 60s and 70s You know, I think you know, look growing up my my dad put my mom in a place of importance And I saw that so there's something to that

Tina (: 49:05

But they're together because they put each other in a place of importance. They did all these things because that's what they did in the 40s and 50s. There wasn't, you weren't allowed to get divorced. Right.

Robb (: 49:27

I think that and and even now I think that if you're in your 50s and starting a relationship and you have a family it's still important to show your children that you're with someone that's good and wants to have a healthy relationship with you because that well but it's I think it's a trickle down

Tina (: 49:51

And you should show them that you want to be with them.

Robb (: 49:57

Right, let's say your kids are in their 20s and they're now have a blossoming relationship with somebody. They should be able to look at their mom or their dad and go. This is what a healthy relationship looks like. He wants to take care of her. He's there for her. If that's your mom or vice versa, where you.

you're bringing something to that man and he's and their kid is going, this is what a great woman does for my father. And it's a trickle down. So then you're let's say you're a mom and your daughters now see you with somebody. They're gonna go, I want to get be with a man like that, because I want a relationship like hers, because she's happy. And if you're in a shitty relationship, they're gonna see the same thing. And

I've seen it with my kid. You know, I mean, my ex wife is in, I would say a very good relationship and it they have their issues like anyone, but to see him he's even talked about it like, yeah, she's, you know, they're in a good place. Awesome. I want him to see the same thing with the next person I'm with and I want their kids, assuming she has them to see that someone gives a shit about their mom.

and is in love with her and wants to make sure she's happy and at peace with herself. It's trickle down. It's a trickle down effect. And I think that those are the things that all these things that we just talked about are trickle down where your kids will learn to cook for their mate. They're you know, they'll be at the door and give them affection regardless. They'll do all these little small things that add up very, very quickly.

Robb (: 51:50

Alrighty, well, shit, we got through that very quick and I thought they were... I know, and there's been a lot... I think there was a lot more that we agreed with now that I reread them than not. think modern relationships, regardless of your age, can do those things. And I think you'll end up with a mate that is overly loving.

You'll have way more intimacy and that and that's every kind mental and physical. Correct. I totally agree. I, my mate has to be my best friend. I have to be able to bounce everything that comes through my head off of her and her to understand that in a, if I'm in a place of weakness, it's just because I need.

someone to you know put a bolt in the bridge and go everything's going to be okay so i don't know it's important any last words for our our trad wives

Robb (: 53:18

Mm hmm. Totally agree. I think that you can bring traditional values on both sides. And and cultivate a modern relationship with as much traditionalism as you can. All righty, well, until next week, well, you can check us out on whatever social media I don't get deleted off of. Listen to wherever you can listen to these podcasts, which is

Pretty much anywhere and share share share after you listen to this, you know copy the link send it to your friends. Hey check this out. Alright, it's an opinion show. Don't get it twisted. Keep coming back every Wednesday. For my cohost Tina, I'm Rob. We'll see in a week bye.