EP # 203 Influential Figures: The Pillars of Our Lives

Robb (: 00:01

And welcome to another show of Don't Get This twisted. am Rob along with my co-host as always Tina. How you doing Tina? It's a buttload of a lot. For everyone involved. Everyone and and look I don't want to say that it's all bad but I wouldn't say it's all good either. You know what I mean? Like

Tina (: 00:08

you know Rob, we were talking, we were talking all of the year. It's a lot right now.

But I'm hanging in there, yeah.

Tina (: 00:27

Well there's that.

Robb (: 00:30

Everything. Everything is like a scale, right? You got to put couple of weights on both sides. There's there's going to be good and there's going to be. Shit. Mm yeah, and and look, we've talked about it on the show before, like, know, you have your dad who's sick and I haven't talked to you off air, but my dad's having some issues, so.

Tina (: 00:39

You know life is still not bad, but yeah it's a lot sometimes. I'll just put it that way.

Tina (: 00:57

Yeah.

Robb (: 00:58

So I get it. It's, you know, it's a lot and you have to kind of step back for a second and go. Okay. Let's see what's going on.

Tina (: 01:10

Well, there's, you know, it's not just my dad. There's, there's several people in my life that are going through it that I'm very close to and, yeah, and, and I'm their support. So it's been, it's been a little, it's hard being the strong one. I'll just put it that way. Sometimes it's a little bit too freaking much even for me. And I'm, I'm pretty good at taking the ball and run and wish it. So I don't know.

Robb (: 01:28

Right. Right.

Tina (: 01:39

I'm just riding it by the seat of my man's.

Robb (: 01:43

Yeah. You know, not not to put even more, you know, stress on you at all, but you are kind of the I look at you kind of like the the pinnacle. You know, like you I've seen you go through a lot. Yeah, because I've seen you go through a lot of shit and you're and you do handle it well.

Tina (: 01:57

In what way?

Robb (: 02:03

Even though I have seen you, I have seen you. Personally, or just not lose your shit, just. Be emotional and it's and it's not very often and I will give you that. And and you've seen me go emotional a couple of times where I generally do my best not to that either. But yeah, and so I know that if you're if you're going through shit, I'm like, yeah, it's.

Tina (: 02:04

Well, thank you.

Tina (: 02:07

lose my shit for a couple minutes?

Tina (: 02:16

No, it's really not.

Tina (: 02:22

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 02:31

If I'm even saying something, it's a lot. Yeah.

Robb (: 02:33

Exactly. And I think that when you say that's kind of the same with me, I kind of leave everything under wraps until I go, I need to say something.

Tina (: 02:37

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what was really shitty was somebody saw me crying and they said, you gotta stop, like I can't see this. And I'm like, you just gotta give me a moment. And they walked away because they said the energy that I expel when I'm crying is extreme. Like it just, it breaks them. So.

Robb (: 03:03

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 03:07

I was like, really? You can't handle... This is a good thing when I cry, because it is releasing the steam and it is like bringing down the rising emotions. So I thought it was pretty funny. Like now I'm like, crap, now I got even worried about who I cry around because somebody is going to have an issue. Whatever.

Robb (: 03:26

Right, I mean, I think that it is a great emotional release though. Like people don't understand that sometimes you have to let off that bomb and just let it go.

We were talking about things that we were going to do a show about and you came up with a really good one and I'm not ready yet. Because I have to like put a list together, but we're going to talk about people who inspire us. And I think that it's actually a really good idea because.

Once I have time to actually sit down and put a list together, it'll be much easier for me because I don't want to just make it about one person, which would be easy.

Tina (: 04:14

Well, yeah, and I wouldn't even say inspired. I've had key people in my life that have really gone the distance for me and still do. It's been a lifelong, I've had a lifelong journey with these people and I think that sometimes it's good to point out how

you've grown or changed or evolved because of having that person in your life. So that's that's where I came up with this show and

Robb (: 04:52

Right.

Tina (: 04:54

it... gosh there's so many people. So what started this was last week when we did an episode I had told one of my uncles that I talked about him on the podcast because of the John Denver music playing in the back of his truck and also sitting in the middle of he and my dad listening to K-Earth radio station which used to be oldies and now it's

our music. So I told him that he was, because he listens from time to time and I told him about that so he listened to the episode, but it got me thinking that there's been some really good people in my life that have taught me about myself. They taught me about what loyalty and friendship and love and, and, and, you know, being a guardian, like what all these things are. And so

Robb (: 05:25

You

Tina (: 05:53

Started to think about the people that I have in my life because I don't have my mom anymore. She died She died 14 years ago and and one of the things that I had her Mike what I one of the things I questioned was who was gonna teach me to grow old because You know your parents pretty much teach you everything or at least you you learn from them and Losing mom at 59 really kind of messed with my head So anyway

I'm grateful that my mom and my dad put people in my life to kind of round me out, you know, to make sure that, one, these people that I'm going to talk about would never go against my mom and dad because they loved my mom and dad to the extreme. And also, too, because of their loyalty and what was right and what is wrong. And I admire them.

for always, you know, helping co-parent me or be there for me or just be someone in my life that I could go to if I couldn't go to my parents. And so that's what got me thinking about this, this podcast. So anyway, now that I said all that, we could talk about about my uncle from the show last week.

This man's been through a lot in his life. He went through Vietnam and all the trials and tribulations that go with that, just as my dad did. He and my dad were super close.

I don't remember life without my uncle. And he was just the best. Like he taught me things about, you know, loyalty and friendship and what it's like to always be there for people that you love. He makes concessions, he takes time, he comes and visits us. And it's almost like my brother and I personally, when he's around, whatever.

Tina (: 08:06

plans we have unless they're huge plans. don't change, you know, we don't worry about changing them. We go and we see our uncle and we spend time with him and he takes precedence because in our lives he was always that person that was there and always made time for us and it was just where we wanted to be. And I remember being 16 and 17 when I should want to be out with my friends and...

you know he would show up and I'd be like nope I'm staying home sorry guys I get you know families here gotta do what I gotta do but he he just always had a really fun and you know no matter what's going on with your life like find the happy find find the the joke or something that you know he he kind of taught me how to how to keep life from getting too serious

You know, and he was just somebody that I always liked being around. And my brother too, my brother to this day, like, he's the guy that we'll sit with and talk to. And even during dad's surgery, he came out here. He was in another state. He came out here and he was with me the whole time. And I can't really say that anybody else was, you know, he...

He made sure he did that. He wanted to make sure his friend was okay, you know? And I don't know, I just really... I've been lucky to have been given very good examples of good men and he is one of those people. So that's my first character. Do you have one or do you want me to keep going?

Robb (: 09:37

Actually, I do have one that is not, I mean, I wanna say not very,

Not very long in my life, but now that I think about it, he's been gone quite a while. I had a friend named Scott who passed away a while back. He I worked with him at the alarm company that I worked for for quite a while. And he wasn't much older than me. Like, I think he was only like. Maybe five years older than me.

But he had been doing alarm work since he was like 13 he was crawling in attics for his dad because his dad had an alarm company and He he had the most He well first of all he was he was adopted him and his brother were adopted so they hadn't adopted last name and It was very odd. It was his last name was dragon Chuck So he had this like heavy Ukrainian name. It was quite so I would always like mess with him and call him like

Tina (: 10:57

wow.

Robb (: 11:03

The dragon or like whatever I could always mess with him but he He kind of took me under his wing when I came back to california from vegas because I worked for that company for a while And then I left and worked for the rival and then he came and worked for the rival as well But he was this He was just such a good guy like he was one of those guys that No matter what he would always have your back

He'd call me out of nowhere in the middle of the night just to like, hey man, just checking up on you. He was a Marvel Comics fan and we went and saw like tons of those movies and we always used to like talk about that like silly shit that he was just like, I remember playing with these figures and making our own home movies and like, we're going to see these things now. But he he really taught me a lot about being a good worker.

And he told me something when I worked for a company he said like learn so much that they can't fire you And and it's that sticks true to me to this day just that he's right if you learn enough and and unfortunately, he passed away he got sick and He and it kind of just it really hit me hard when he when he passed away because he was he was just such a cool guy

And I didn't think that he had that much influence on me until you kind of set back and go, yeah, like I was in Camarillo for eight years and I knew him for that eight years. then, you know, it was just really, it was one of those things where like he did make a big difference in my life. I wish he would have known, you know, I did tell him certain things, but I don't think he ever like really knew kind of Sucky.

But he was one of those that definitely made a huge difference to my life. Mostly when I needed it, because when I came back to California, I was still like, you know, like, very, I was going through a lot, worried about raising a kid, life, all these things. lots. What about you?

Tina (: 13:12

everything.

Robb (: 13:21

You

Tina (: 13:23

so the next one would be my, my other mother. my, we grew up with another family that lived just a few blocks away and the parents were friends. So my mom was her best friend and my dad was his best friend and they did a lot together as families. And I, I apparently was hard with my mom. Like she, she,

I could frustrate the shit out of her and she wouldn't know how to like calm down and and she would call her friend and her friend would calm her down and part of what calmed her down was that her friend would talk to me and tell me like You know, you can't be doing this stuff or you're better than that or you know She always had something really cool to say so when I was in seventh grade I stole a box of cigarettes from my parents and I took him to school and I got caught with them and

Robb (: 14:13

You

Tina (: 14:22

When I got caught with them, my mom was livid and she couldn't even talk to me. She was shaking. She was so pissed off. And so she gave the phone to her friend and she said, you talk to her. And I don't even know if they had talked about it before. It seemed like this was all live and happening as it went down. But she got on the phone with me and she said, I heard that you did this. She goes.

Robb (: 14:46

Right. Right.

Tina (: 14:48

Why didn't you give your parents back the cigarettes? And I said, well, because I didn't know if I would get caught or not. Like once I got them out, I wasn't going to sneak them back in. That's just dumb. And she kind of laughed at me because I'm honest with her. I've never not been honest with her. And she goes, yeah, I could see that. And she goes, what did you learn? And I said not to take my parents' things because mom's losing her mind and then mom's screaming in the background like it's going on right.

Robb (: 15:15

Right.

Tina (: 15:16

And she goes, yeah, your mom's a little pissed at you. She can't even talk to you right now. I said, I know. And she goes, well, are you going to do that again? And I said, no. And she said, make me proud of you. Like, you don't need to be smoking. You know I smoke. You know your mom smokes. Like, are we better off for doing it? And I said, no, I don't think so. And she goes, well, then why would you do it? And I said, because everybody else tried it. I wanted to also. Like, it was just what I did. And but her saying,

you know, be better than us and make me proud of you was something that really sat in my head. Now mind you, she smoked, her husband smoked, my mom and dad smoked, my brother smokes, her son smoked. I don't, I think the only two that didn't were the two girls, me and their daughter. And to this day, I don't smoke because

Robb (: 15:58

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 16:14

I wouldn't want her to know that I didn't listen to her, but she's, she's the bad ass that could make anything or knows how to fix it or knows who to call or shows up when I'm sick. And when I thought I was dying and I was very sick in during COVID, not with COVID, but I was sick during that time. She was the one that showed up and took me to the doctors. She's, she is always my go-to person and

Robb (: 16:15

Right.

Tina (: 16:43

You know, I've talked about her a hundred times. My friends have met her. She comes over and she plays Bungo with us from time to time and everybody freaking loves her. And but it's funny because one of my one of my good friends said, you're you're her in your generation. Like she's her who she is in everybody's life in her generation. But like she passed the torch to you. And it was I thought that that was like one of the most ultimate compliments because this person is

in my eyes, completely amazing and makes everything look pretty easy. And and she's always encouraging more, you know, like do more, try this, do that. Take your baskets here. We'll try making this with me or or yeah, you could do that or hey, I'll come over and I'll see if that color looks good on your walls because you've made some questionable choices. Like she's she's just that person that I always.

come to. And to this day, I just adore her. I've been fortunate that even though my mom didn't last to be 60, that she left me with some really good people and a good second mom that has, boy, she's gone the distance for me without a doubt.

Robb (: 17:44

That's pretty funny. You know, I wrote some things down while we were.

Tina (: 18:06

So that's my next one.

Robb (: 18:13

starting this and you know you try to throw the easy ones in right very easy to like oh this one and this one this this one is going to be kind of it's going to be a dual thing because it kind of happened it happened in high school actually I'm gonna put you and Tam in kind of the same which is Tam's a teacher that we had

Tina (: 18:20

Yeah.

Tina (: 18:36

Mmm.

our favorite teacher.

Robb (: 18:41

Yeah, our favorite teacher. For a lot of different reasons. He had some disabilities that were visual and it was, know, at first, the first time I saw him, I was like, wow. Like, and it's funny how easy he, he had like a warm voice. He just had this warm, you know, presence about him that you just, you never saw it after that.

But that being said, we'll start with you because obviously the reason I can't shut up anymore is probably because of you. It followed by by him. But see, the only reason I got into that class was because of you. So, yes, we've told the story a million times on here. We had an art class together. I would doodle very, very obscene things all the time.

Tina (: 19:22

Well, they're the class, yeah.

Tina (: 19:30

because of me.

Robb (: 19:40

whether they were like people getting shot or naked people, just all kinds of things. I was a doodler. So I would always like to make fun. Although I would do my projects as well because I loved art class. So, but yes, I sat at the same table with Tina. I, at the time, was incredibly shy with people other than a very handful of friends that all lived in the same neighborhood together.

Tina (: 19:41

and I thought they were funny.

Tina (: 19:54

Yeah.

Robb (: 20:08

So yeah, I just wasn't a big talker. You obviously bought that out, bought me out of my shell. We became good friends, where you also introduced me to other people in my life that also changed it, which is really good, you know, those type of things. Got me a girlfriend that at the time was out of control and a whole lot of fun. But then you got me into...

Tina (: 20:24

Yeah.

Robb (: 20:36

that are class called communicators where I really learned to be a talker. You know what I mean? And learned so many life things that most people still don't know. You know, one of the biggest things, because I was very shy at the time, learning how to hug, and I know we talked about it on here before, but probably not in depth. And it was such a...

Tina (: 20:36

Love her.

Tina (: 20:46

Yeah, you did.

Tina (: 21:02

Hmm.

Robb (: 21:05

You know, we had to all hug each other. And to think about like doing that now would be probably absurd and you know, everyone would freak out. Right.

Tina (: 21:10

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 21:16

Well, no, now put some background to it. We were in high school when everybody's bodies are changing and girls don't want to touch and everybody's self-conscious and going through their drama. And then here it is, but you know, know how to hug, why you do what you do, be not cautious, but be like know where your body is going and what it's doing and how you react to certain people.

Robb (: 21:33

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I, to this day, I've learned like, you know, like the side hug, which is like, or

Tina (: 21:46

that what you're communicating with nonverbal communication by doing it the way you do. It was a very interesting class that we got to be a part of.

Robb (: 22:03

where or if you if someone puts their hands on you know around your waist then over your shoulders and what those things are and and to be fair I'll I this is what the best part about this class was and I was just talking to somebody about it the other day where that class it didn't matter if you were popular or not because there were there were people I sat right next to a cheerleader and I mean a popular cheerleader

Tina (: 22:26

No, everybody was the same in there.

Robb (: 22:34

that became my friend.

Tina (: 22:35

And one of the guys that I used to, yeah, one of the guys that I used to sit with never went to class. He was a little bit of a partier and liked to ditch and was running with the wrong boys. And they put him in the class with me because I would get him to go to class. So he would stay through second period so that he was in school and then he would leave right after that. Like he was, he was, you know, he turned out to.

be one of the sweetest people in the world, but he served a lot of time in prison for doing stuff he shouldn't have been doing. you know, but, then, but that was the cool thing about this class is you were put, there was, was a cross section of everybody that was there. And it was, it had taught us how to be supportive of everyone, matter what they were going through. And so we, we were lucky that we had.

Robb (: 23:18

Right. Yeah.

Tina (: 23:29

such a variety of people that we could be friends and build gaps, know, build bridges from gaps that were going on in the school that really needed our attention. And I think for me, it made me so much more confident. What about you?

Robb (: 23:42

Yeah. I think so too. I think it also made me just realize that there are like good people over and above what

society school was right the hierarchy is like the one girl I'm talking about like what You would think like oh we all talked in this class and then you'd walk outside the classroom and people would just disappear into their own shit but if I was walking through school, she would say hi to me and that at that time made a difference in Someone's life, you know what I mean? Like oh she'd be like hey, hey, you don't rob. Hey, what's going on like?

And it wasn't like she was like hiding out doing it. It was just a normal thing. So I think that's why that class meant so much to me more than I probably thought at the time. Because you don't realize it until, oh yeah, you kind of retrospect, you go, oh shit, that was like probably eye opening for me on a lot of levels. Like standing up and having to tell who you are in front of a crowd, you know.

Tina (: 24:28

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 24:53

15 years later, I'm wrestling in front of a thousand people and have no problem doing it. yeah, there's communication skills were great. At all, like at all. Yeah. Yeah.

Tina (: 25:04

And you really were not a talker at all.

Tina (: 25:11

at all. at all. The way you finally broke through was you said, you're not going to quit bugging me until I start talking to you, are you? And I was like, nope. And you gave in. was like, OK, cool. It finally worked. God, now I can talk. Because you went, they put you next to me because she's wearing me down. Yeah.

Robb (: 25:29

Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I think I think at the time I was just like Yeah, I was just like for fuck's sake really are you gonna keep this up like I was like well I guess I better just start talking so I can get through the hour of this class and get back out to being quiet on the outside But it was just

Tina (: 25:41

because when

Tina (: 25:51

Well, that's wrong. That's funny though. But you, okay, so your personality was that, that you didn't talk at all. And then mine was when, when I, remember coming home from school for the very first time with my report card and I gave it to my mom and dad and my dad said, I knew I was in trouble with you when it said, you know, I had straight A's and straight whatever, however they, they did it back then. I believe it was A's.

Robb (: 25:55

But it helped.

You were a chatty Cathy. There is absolutely no doubt about that.

Tina (: 26:18

And then the comment was, talks too much in class. So my dad said from that point on, I knew I was screwed with you because I knew what type of girl you were going to be. You were going to know everybody and be chatty with everyone and know more than you needed to. And you know what? He was exactly right. He was exactly right.

Yeah. I'm, I'm still the same person though. You know, my friend just called me the other day to said something really good happened to me and I wanted to tell you cause I knew you'd be happy for me. And I thought, I love hearing that. I've heard that several times over the course of my life, but I'd say maybe less than like five or six times. But when I hear that, I'm like, I am so glad that you feel like I'm rooting for you on that level because I really am.

Robb (: 26:47

A hundred. Right.

Tina (: 27:12

So, I am that chick that talks a lot.

Robb (: 27:17

It's all right. I mean, I'm glad now though. It's because that class and you probably have helped me more socially, you know, on a level that you don't think about. Because after high school, I got into a customer service job where I had to talk to people. Fuck no. I wouldn't, I would have failed.

Tina (: 27:36

Could you imagine if you were like how you were in high school?

Right? You wouldn't have been able to do it. Yeah.

Robb (: 27:43

Yeah, I mean, I would have been able to do it long run, but not short term. By the time I got to that job, I was like, I would just vomit shit out of my mouth. like, yeah, was much easier to walk into a job where like literally service windows where people would walk up all day long and talk to you. So it just became, it's second nature now. Like I have no problem, I can talk in front of crowds. I have no problem.

Tina (: 27:49

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 28:05

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 28:11

doing any of that stuff so it's a good thing what about you keep going let's keep this rolling

Tina (: 28:14

Not at all. Not at all. Yeah.

so you know, I thought about this one. I didn't know if I wanted to say it, but I do want to say it because my ex, just had lunch, dinner, whatever you'd want to call it. I just had it with him today. And after we went out, we were on the way back to the houses. We went to his and we went back to my work and then I came home by myself. That's why it sounds so weird. But anyway, so,

I met him when I was like 28, 29. And at the time I was going out, I was dating, I was like being Tina, you know, just doing my thing, working a couple jobs, dating, partying, going to clubs, whatever the hell I was doing. I was doing it. And we didn't start dating right away or anything. I knew him for a couple years before we started dating. He was with somebody else when I met him.

and he was a friend of my father's. met him as friends, we got, we started dating after one of my grandfather's birthday parties as a matter of fact. He's 12 years older than I, and extremely intelligent. He is very rational, he does not live in the world of...

of lot of emotion or feelings because he's, you know, he's a solid guy and I'm completely the opposite. Like everything is some, a feel. I, I, I'm run by my emotions and, feelings and things that I, I'm experiencing not necessarily could see or that science could prove as he's brought up several times. But he really taught me how to

Robb (: 30:09

Right.

Tina (: 30:17

hone in on my communicating to where I could not be irrational or emotional or I'm not saying something before I've thought about it. He taught me a lot of things that really dialed me in and he was very patient with me. He was very loving in his own way and we always had, I always said our

our conversations were never just random. He was always talking about something like I could tell you why a pothole gets bigger or I could tell you why the stars are the way they are. Like he's, or we had a conversation about his favorite beer guy. gosh, I'm drawing a blank on the name.

But I had a history lesson about this guy that the beer is branded after. Oh my gosh, why am I drawing a blank? Samuel Adams. He just knew everything. We were always pulling out a big dictionary that he had to look up a word to see exactly what the root was, where it came from, what the definition was, how to use it in a sentence.

Robb (: 31:22

yeah.

Tina (: 31:44

we could completely nerd out. And there's a very big part of me that likes to know things and nerd out and talk about it. And he was monumental in me just learning, just learning things after being out of school. Brilliant mind. Also very patient. And I don't think I had nearly the patience that I do now because

I had to learn it from him. I don't know how he put up with me being 12 years older, because I was definitely rough around the edges and I did not listen. I did my own thing. And he put up with me being who I am. And he was always very gracious and kind. And he would pause before he'd give an answer so that he was giving the best of answers. And again,

Robb (: 32:27

Right.

Tina (: 32:40

more communicating. He just taught me how to be a better communicator and a better person and also how to forgive because we both had to forgive each other for our parts of our relationship that we didn't do correctly or we didn't make happen right and still be, you know, we're still very who we are with each other. We could talk about things. We balance each other out. We tell people things that not

or we tell each other things that not every person would get unless they lived with us. And I've learned that there is value in not blowing up your situation with somebody that you once cared for when you can't do that anymore. So I'm grateful for all the lessons he's taught me. He's probably taught me some of the most.

I also got to learn how to love past divorce, which I didn't know that was possible. I didn't know how to do it. we did it. He taught me and I taught him, I guess, because we had to do it together. So I'm grateful for him. Very grateful.

Robb (: 33:55

You know, it's funny that when you think like that, you know, it is incredible where you can walk away from something and but everyone is okay. And there's still

Tina (: 33:56

And it's back at you.

Tina (: 34:08

It's devastating.

Robb (: 34:14

positives that came out of something that was very, you know, not in your case, but people's case toxic. You know, I just told somebody that the other day that the reason she'll be okay is because you have to. You know, I'm glad we wrote these down or I did while we were talking. The next one is also kind of a dual

Tina (: 34:24

Yeah.

Tina (: 34:31

Absolutely.

Robb (: 34:44

thing, but it's my best friend who lived next door. So basically my apartment, there was an alley to the park and then his house was right there. I met him when we were both in sixth grade. So I've known him over 40 years. Him and his family. You know, he had a younger sister and a younger brother that are now very old and I still talk to his sister every blue moon.

And his mom where at a time where obviously I was raised by a single dad I did see my mom, but I was always over at his house like 24 7 like whenever I could be I was there it was literally like having a second mom like she didn't let me get away with shit I By the time we were friends a year. I didn't get like your friend is here anymore It was like I'd walk in the door and she'd be like, oh, hey, me. Oh, you're here

Like I could walk in and pick up a plate. It wasn't like, you know, but the flip side is I was expected to be like the sun. Like I didn't get, I didn't have the plausible deniability to get out of shit. If my buddy got in trouble, she'd literally look at me and go, why'd you let him do it? You knew better. I'm dead serious. I was like, fuck yeah, you're right. So.

Tina (: 35:46

Hmm.

Robb (: 36:11

It was nice to have a second family and it really even got better obviously as me and my friend got to be better friends where you know from sixth grade and he left when he was 22 to move they bought a house somewhere else and obviously our friendship continued but I ended up going to his wedding about they want to say it was seven years now maybe eight

And I remember walking up and obviously his mom was there and I was the best man. And the first thing I walked up and I was like, oh, how you doing mom? Like literally said that because that's what she was. My second mom, it was at a time when I kind of needed that. And of course, obviously my friend where, you know, I've talked about him on here before that we, you know, we have a very different kind of friendship where we have talked personal stuff, but you know,

Tina (: 36:51

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 37:07

A lot of our stuff is based on how we were growing up, wrestling and comics and this and that. And when we need to, we'll talk serious, but it's very rare. And it's a very fun thing to still be close and not have to lean on that kind of stuff all the time. But when it's needed, it is. When his dad passed away, we talked. And when my mom passed away, we talked. So there is that thing, but it is nice to have a friend.

Tina (: 37:14

You

Robb (: 37:37

That you can just kind of sit back and go, oh yeah, like I don't have to dump all my shit on all the time. I can come over here, we can have a couple of drinks, we can talk about wrestling and have a good time. So those are the things that, you know, it's irreplaceable to have a friend for 40 years when I tell people that it's, they almost don't know what to do.

Tina (: 37:51

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 38:05

It's like, 40 years. like, yeah. It's it's, it's, I hope, I hope my son, because he has a friend that he met in fourth grade. And I said, whatever you do, don't let that get away. Whether you don't see each other for years, make sure you're in a text thread with each other so you both can, can, you know, keep in contact. So.

Tina (: 38:05

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 38:11

Kinda cool.

Robb (: 38:33

His family meant a lot to me in a spot where obviously I definitely needed it. Okay. You?

Tina (: 38:48

you know what? I didn't think that I would ever say this because of who this person is, but my brother, my brother and I have lived the same, we lived the same life in the same house under the same roof, you know, for, you know, growing up and I like having someone that could tell another side to my story. Like he knows me.

to no end, we've been through a lot of really crappy things together and we've had to hold each other up in times when there wasn't anybody else to help us. And when we were younger, we used to fight a lot, he, all the time he would drive me crazy and I would just, we talked about the other day that he, I was driving down the street with friends in the car, we had just come from a swap meet and he was sitting behind me.

and he thought it was funny to cover my eyes while I was driving. And I got out of the car and beat the crap out of him because that's what we did when we were younger. We just fought like physically would just get crazy. But as we've gotten older and we've had to rely on each other and we've been in situations where the only person we wanted around was each other, I have come to find a really safe place.

Robb (: 39:51

Mm-hmm.

You

Tina (: 40:18

where I could be me, because he knows me, it's not like I could fake this shit, because he grew up with me. And I know him, and we're... The way we communicate is very much non-verbal, he came into the... Not that this is what I want to talk about, but he came into the backyard the other day, because he parks his car in our back patio area, where there's a place for...

Him to go anyway, he parks his car in there and I'm in the I'm in the pool nice. hey Theo. What's up?

Robb (: 40:57

Hey

Tina (: 40:59

I looked at him and he put both of his fingers in the air and then walked away. Like that was the way that he in and I knew we I was with friends and knew that he didn't mean it or whatever. But that's just kind of where we're at with each other. Like it doesn't matter. You know, we laugh at everything. We say a lot of stupid shit that we shouldn't say. we I don't know. We got a new closeness. And I've seen him go through.

Robb (: 41:15

You

Tina (: 41:28

some really horrible times where I didn't know if he'd make it through it. And I've seen him grow up and rise above and be close when he needed to be close and support when he needed to support. And I'm liking the man that he's become. He's a good guy. And I'm grateful that I had him. And I'm grateful that we're close.

Robb (: 41:54

Yeah, I think it helps that you're close, know, close in age. You know what I mean? And that you've always done. Right, and that you've always done things with each other. What is his nickname for you?

Tina (: 42:00

Yeah, totally, we're only two years apart.

Tina (: 42:08

Yeah.

Robb (: 42:13

Two notes, that's what I remember. The first time I heard that, I lost my shit.

Tina (: 42:14

tuna? Or... boom bub? Or...

Tina (: 42:23

I don't know that he doesn't have many tuna. Well, yeah, because because the boy that I was dating at the time had really nice handwriting.

Tina (: 42:39

I'm sorry, you said the first time you ever heard that?

Robb (: 42:43

Like I just I didn't see it coming You know what I mean? Like I was just like and I think I remember like stepping back going He didn't say that did he like? Really? Yeah, and I was

Tina (: 42:49

Yeah.

Tina (: 42:56

Yeah, he did. Well, okay, so here's the backstory. A boy that I was dating at the time had very good handwriting and he wrote my name on something. I don't remember if it was an eraser or an envelope or he wrote it on something, but the way he did it, it looked like he was writing Tuna instead of Tina. You know, easy to confuse. Well, my brother saw that and that was it. He's called me Tuna ever since.

Robb (: 43:10

Right.

Tina (: 43:24

Now it's kind of morphed into tune. He goes hey tune. How's it going? Like he doesn't finish with the a it's just tuned so yeah, he's But you know, we've we have been through so many things that now nothing kind of shocks us About the other one and you know during his divorce he told me stuff that he didn't want anybody else to know and when I got divorced I did the same and

Robb (: 43:34

Right.

Tina (: 43:54

You know, we were raised the same. My mom used to say, you keep your shit in your house. You don't take it out. don't let anybody else hear it. You keep it in house, you know? And my brother and I have learned to be like that with each other. And we will defend each other fiercely when need be. And I'm grateful, grateful for him.

Robb (: 44:18

I think my next one is quite easy for most people but

My dad would be, I think just the best one for me long run. Obviously I was raised by a single dad after the age of 13. So I went and moved in with my dad at 13. So at sixth grade, I met my best friend that was around the corner and now I live with my dad. And you you don't realize a lot of things until

way later in life, which is a good thing and a bad thing. Once I became a single dad, though, I started to realize that he had way more influence on who I was as a man than I ever thought. Because I started to become my dad, because I wanted to raise my son to be OK. So and to be strong. And there's been several times where

Tina (: 45:10

Yeah.

Tina (: 45:14

You

Robb (: 45:23

You know, I had to sit down with my father and went, you know, I'm sorry for all the shit that I did you know, even though I didn't do a lot but I did put him through a little bit of stuff here and there and For me, I think it was a lot then for him because obviously he took in me and my older brother and My older brother had his own little issues at home. So he did a lot for us on a you know

A decent salary, but he definitely, I'm sure, struggled and he never told us and we didn't, you know, find out. And I had told him something way later, like maybe, I don't know, 10 years ago. About like, oh, yeah, like I'm I struggle and by the body's like, yeah, I did the same. And he goes, you make sure that your kid doesn't know they don't need to. And just keep on going.

And then one day I said something to my son. We were in the bathroom brushing our teeth and we were doing our stuff and he pissed me off over something. And I said something, I don't even remember what it was, but I remember my son going, I bet you that's what grandpa said to you. And that's when it like really hit me. And I was like, oh yeah, my dad. And then it was, and then this is what I told my son. I go, yeah, he probably did, but it was followed by I asked him if he want to go there.

Tina (: 46:35

Mm-hmm.

And it was.

Robb (: 46:47

And and he goes no, think I'm good and then I thought that was that is also something my dad would have said to me like, you know and you know, it's it's important as we get older like I Wouldn't say I had the greatest relationship with my mom just cuz I didn't live with her and she was the Disneyland mom, right? She was the one who every other weekend I went to and it was always fun and like me and my best friend would go there She let me bring girlfriends over

Tina (: 46:56

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 47:16

like all kinds of like great stuff. But she was like that Disneyland mom where it was always a good time. Where my dad was raising us and he wanted to raise a man that, you know, would be OK at the end of his time. And for me, now that he is is slowing down and. His health is changing, I wouldn't say he's sick, but he's definitely slowing down and he's changing. It is easy to sit back and look of.

the influence and the direction that our parents really did have on us. And my dad, for good or bad, he made me a better man and definitely a better father. I mean, more than he'll ever know. me and my older brother are gonna go see him shortly because he obviously isn't doing well. But I'm gonna make sure to have a nice long conversation with my dad so he knows what he meant.

Yeah. Yeah. It's good.

Tina (: 48:17

get there and do that. important.

Yeah.

Tina (: 48:36

I don't know. I struggle with even wanting to say anything just because of the situation and how it is now. But I would say someone else that had a lot of influence in my life would be my daughter. Obviously I didn't have kids of my own. Didn't know that at the time when she came into my life.

If I didn't have her, I would not have learned what it was like to be a mom. And all the wonderful things that there are that come with that, but also all the crappy things that come with that too, because it's not a, it's not an all or nothing sort of situation that you would have with, with a child. But, I definitely learned how to love and, and how to protect and how to,

like root for somebody that was

that was not ever going to do things perfectly or be perfect, but just the feeling of love for her and that perfectness in the love was amazing. And watching her grow and being responsible and like I had to be responsible for a kid and I wasn't even all that great at being responsible for myself at the time. you know, I just had some really cool

Robb (: 50:02

Right.

Tina (: 50:08

Memories of of you know trying to get her to eat different foods, so we'd make a game out of it Let's try some with something. We've never eaten before and she was always down for something like that I taught her how to drive Down the 10 freeway going back and forth to El Paso. Just just drive the car. Just get used to driving the car. You know that was I don't know I

I looked at her when she was going through that and I thought, my God, you're amazing that you're doing this, you know? And just, I remember just being so proud of her for even trying. she, despite where she had to, you know, came from and what she had to overcome, like she, she always had this cute little smile and a little bit of sass to her. And she just found a way to, to...

persevere and I always liked watching her go through that and do that. was just amazing to see a kid grow up, you know? And I would not have gotten that had I not been put in the situation that we were and ended up the way we did. But I don't know, I kind of...

I kind of enjoyed watching all that. I know she probably has a really different opinion of what happened and how it happened and whatever, but I used to look at her when she would do just about everything and think, my God, you're so amazing. And I just, to know that feeling, you know, cause I wouldn't have known it otherwise if I didn't have, if I didn't have her, I wouldn't have ever been a mom. So getting to watch all that firsthand was, was something, was something.

It was pretty cool. Yeah.

Robb (: 52:00

For sure. I see where you're coming from, where you're talking. Look, I was a stepfather well before I had my own. Right? So whether they're yours or not is irrelevant. I think we.

We change the lives of children period Sometimes for the better sometimes for the worse But mostly I would argue that it's always for the better I watched my oldest stepdaughter have major issues with her mother not talked for four years and they've put back together a life so You can only do so much we're all human thank goodness

But I would definitely agree that watching your daughters or your son help you grow as a person, you know, they're they're an inspiration no matter what. Like that's one that's so I totally get where you're coming from. But, you know, I know that you have had your issues and that you, you know, are missing out on life. But, you know, things

Tina (: 52:58

Yeah.

Robb (: 53:14

Things come around and things change. Life is a very open book. I've learned that over the last couple of years, running into people that you have no business running into again and realizing that life, it's everything happens for a reason. And I think, you know, you and your daughter will find their way back to each other. It's just going to be a matter of time. And

Tina (: 53:43

I don't know. I don't set myself up for that. just... I'm open for what comes next and we'll see where my life goes and I just kind of give it to God.

Robb (: 53:44

And you shouldn't. That's it. I think that, look, as long as God has a vision for all of us. And when you look at life the way it is, at least these days, at how I'm looking at it. So many things that should not have happened.

have happened or coming back around or whatever. I'm just kind of putting it in the hands of God and going, OK, but push me in the right direction. And and you know what? That's where we're supposed to be. But I it's nice that you your child has changed who you are. And and that's the most important. And vice versa.

Tina (: 54:36

for sure. I don't know how they wouldn't be able to.

Robb (: 54:41

I guarantee you that there's no way that any of our children can look in the mirror and not think, they changed this or they set me in the right direction. It's important, at least for me, I'm glad.

Tina (: 54:54

Or they don't. Or they don't. You know what I mean? Like kids are gonna think whatever it is that they're gonna think and you, you being the parents just gotta be like, well, you know, maybe one day it'll be different or maybe, maybe it won't. Maybe it won't be different at all. Who knows? I've, I just, you know, what can you do? There's, there's so many things in life that if, if I could change, I would.

Robb (: 55:14

Right. 100%.

Tina (: 55:25

But then there's a lot of things, there's a lot of things in life where there's no freaking way I'd give up what I learned to not have it or to do something different. And I will definitely say that even the things that weren't perfect were always done with the best that I could do at the time I did. And that's just how I keep it. And I could sleep okay.

Robb (: 55:36

Yes. That's all that matters.

Tina (: 55:56

Yeah, we're getting to the end of this.

Robb (: 55:58

Well then any any any last words

Tina (: 56:03

you know, I made it so I made a list of the people that that were influential and then like the very very top ones and then I made like another list that's so freaking different but still, you know, I've had a lot of a lot of very inspirate inspirational people in my life and I've had a lot of life lessons in my life and I've

Robb (: 56:24

Right. mean, obviously, I think these are things that we'll continue to revisit. There's just, you know, there's things that we have many hours to do this, but, you know, doing them all in one would be it'd be a three hour show.

Tina (: 56:31

I could have done this by myself a couple of times. There's so many people that have really changed the way I am.

Tina (: 56:44

yeah.

Tina (: 56:50

you

Robb (: 56:54

You know, the only thing that I will tell people from this is let people inspire you. Whatever, whatever that means to you. Absolutely, and we will end it on that.

Tina (: 56:55

Yes.

Tina (: 57:09

Mm-hmm. I think.

I think what I've learned from doing this is it's okay to be open to letting people in because they do change your life.

Robb (: 57:24

Perfect. Hey, check us out on all the social medias, the Facebook, Instagram, X, all that fun stuff. Also, you can listen to us on Apple, Spotify, the biggest ones, but pretty much anywhere you can hear podcasts. Listen, share, send it to other people. We're getting new listeners all over the world again. Wild places are popping up. Mostly in Europe, lots, lots of new ones in Europe.

Tina (: 57:24

There you go.

Tina (: 57:49

Thank

Robb (: 57:53

And again, we have someone in Ireland that listens every single week like like clockwork. Like it's every time I wake up on a Wednesday, it's already done. So they're downloading it. So awesome. And again, you can go to wherever you listen to it and you can subscribe. So it just will send it to you automatically. And it's it's an opinion show. Don't get it twisted. Keep coming back every Wednesday.

Tina (: 57:53

Very cool.

Tina (: 58:07

Thank you Ireland. Yeah.

Robb (: 58:22

I'm Rob that's Tina and we'll see you in a week later.

Tina (: 58:27

See ya.