Ep# 137 What is breadcrumbing? Inside the modern dating trend.

Robb (: 00:03

And welcome to another show of Don't Get This Twisted. I am Rob, along with my co -host as always, Tina. How you doing, Tina? I'm good, Rob. How you doing? Oh, you know, it's always fun to record these in person. This is crazy that we're doing it. I wasn't... I don't know. It's weird doing it here. Normally at home. So... It's just odd because we really haven't recorded in person in like... Ages. I mean, yeah, probably a year. Easy. Yeah. Yeah. Was it your house with a guest?

It was. Yeah. So, you know, sometimes it's it's odd when you when we need to do this more often anyway, because I think we get more interaction with people. Yeah, definitely. So, um, you know, I came up around. I don't even know how I found this thing. It was either on it was on Facebook because I sent you the link. So I was looking and, you know, I'm always interested in the new terms that people come up with for.

you know, dating things like ghosting in our day was just like you just stop calling people. Yeah. So and I know that everything has to have a damn name now because the the new age like to have a title. Even though they don't, but they do. Yeah, they don't like to be titled themselves, but they like to use these words that mean something. Yes. So I found this one. It was on something. What was the it says?

What is bread crumbing inside the modern dating trend? So I was like, okay, what the hell? I'll click on it. So I clicked on it. And if you can believe this, it's on channel four here in LA. Really? Yeah. So it's a thing now. Yeah, yeah. And it was published on the 29th. So it was like, it's a new article. It says, unfortunately, the phenomenon has nothing to do with food. Well, no.

Oh shit. So basically this article starts with, it says ghosting isn't the only way to digitally reject someone. Basically bread crumbing, it says, means not being super interested in somebody but continuing to lead someone on. It's leading somebody on with no intent of following through. You know, look, this.

Robb (: 02:30

There's no intent. Why would you want to lead him on? I don't understand that either. Look, I think people...

I see both sides of this. I think some people hold people as the emergency break glass if the one you're working on isn't working. Now, I'm gonna throw my sexist out and say that women do that more. You think so? Yeah, I think so. I think, I would say, and again, this is just me.

going by the people that I know around and such. I think men keep you around as another one. So like you're already dating a bunch of people and they're either holding on to you for advice or...

or you know, do men or dogs, like they'll do all kinds of shit. They'll keep you if they need a couch surf. There's all kinds of, I mean, because I know a bunch of guys way back in the day that were like rock and roll guys, and they loved groupies. That's what kind of girls that you hold onto were. They were just like girls that you could unfortunately use. I think with girls, and again, this is the man's point of view on this,

I think women will use, they'll hold on to guys with no intent, but they'll get something from them. It's either, oh, you're pretty or, you know, whatever it is that they're getting the attention from. This is nothing new. I mean, we did it back in the day. It was just leading people on.

Robb (: 04:22

But I think with absolutely no intention probably isn't the total, total truth. Yeah, I was going to say, I don't remember being like that ever. I either like somebody or I didn't. And that that, you know, basically made what I how I was going to act. You know, if I didn't like somebody, I wasn't into them at all. I didn't act like I was. And if I really like somebody, that was a totally different story. But.

This is all new stuff to me. Like the bread crumbing doesn't, I don't know. Why would you want somebody around that you don't want anyway? Exactly, I think that we come from the idea of just let it go, like be done with it. And if you're holding on to somebody, I think it's for a reason. To me, it's you.

are waiting something out, you're holding on to them because you know that it's worth something, but for some reason it's not working out, at least in my generation or our generation. I think that's more of it. You're not leading them on, but you're like, there's something there. Because we generally cut people off. This article kind of says something that's interesting. It says, a lot of it is just ego.

Really? It says the other person could just be a narcissist, seeking constant validation or attention even if they have no desire to commit to anyone. And this is anyone. This is like not just this person, just in general. Or they may just want to keep all their options open. That is understandable. But if you know you don't want to be with somebody, this is just the worst thing in the world. Like, just be done. Like,

or have the hard line conversation with somebody, I just wanna be friends. And I mean a hard line conversation, because then it gives the other person an out. And it should, like you shouldn't keep somebody around and toy with their emotions if you're not into them. That's not ever gonna work in anybody's favor. For sure. It's...

Robb (: 06:28

It's anchoring everybody more than anything. Because here's the other thing too, if you're holding on to somebody and you meet somebody, you have to let go of that person. Because if you don't, then the new person's like, why are you talking to this guy? Why are you doing this? And then it becomes something even more bad, because the person can't go, well, I just talked him to talk to him.

That's a talk about a super red flag. I mean, you're waving it in the air. Yeah. On this, this one right here says this dating coach, he as the author of Why He Disappeared. Wow. We need to write books. There's books on this. Yeah. Why he disappeared. Because he's not into you. Yeah, that's the whole book right there.

It says also challenge daters to put themselves in other people's shoes. It's likely he tells today the daters have themselves unintentionally led someone on in a similar manner. So basically what it's saying is that somebody's done it and you might have unintentionally, but it becomes intentional, which is horrible. It says men are mysterious creatures.

No. Yeah. The man could be talking to multiple women or secretly in love with an ex or had a hard week at work. His actions are more selfish than calculating. He is not considered the consequences of his confusing actions, just as women might not consider the consequences of reaching out to catch up with an ex.

I kind of agree with that. I think, look. So you think that catching up with an ex is breadcrumbing as well? It could be. I think it's.

Robb (: 08:15

It's several things. I think that if you're catching up with an ex, you're bread -crumbing just to see what they're doing. And the check -in is leaving that breadcrumb behind to make them go, why are you catching up with me? Why are you texting me? Why are you at all even, you know, it's the old I'm leaving a breadcrumb behind. You know, it's trying to find your way home. It's Hansel and Gretel.

It says, how to spot breadcrumbing. Watch out for laziness. One way to spot a person who is breadcrumbing, look at their texts. They may, for instance, leave out letters to avoid writing in complete words, like, how are you with R and U instead of writing them out. It's the ultimate and lazy. It shows a lack of effort. So basically, if you're either with someone super duper stupid that can't spell.

Or you're with somebody who's just being lazy and they're talking to you to just, you know, keep the fish on the hook. Right. The same goes for someone who is likely posting on social media or sends an occasional hey text. Someone that really likes you is going to make an effort to see and spend time with you. Not just text you every now and again. I kind of agree with that. If everyone is single.

there should be, everyone has time. When people go, ah, I don't have time. That's utter nonsense and total bullshit. Because if you wanted to, you'd make time. Yeah, and we both know you can make time. I'm not saying it has to be a three hour date. Right. But if you can't go and catch up drinking a cup of coffee or having a drink at a bar for 35 minutes.

there's a problem. Yep. There's there's something else that's in your life that's taking precedent over that. Mostly if it's all the time. Um, okay. Um, here now this one I read earlier, I didn't read the whole article, but I think this one was, um, pretty spot on. It says a healthy relationship. This is assuming that you're going into this to date.

Robb (: 10:31

A healthy relationship will be paced right. Over the first couple of weeks, you may go on one date per week. That could increase to two dates a week and then more. The important thing to note is whether you are naturally building momentum.

If you've gone on a date over a handful of weeks and you haven't set up a new date They're evidently not interested in getting serious with you right now for a number of reasons I kind of agree with that. Absolutely I think especially when you first meet somebody you want to spend time with them So if you're not setting up the next date or if there's no chance of that happening, you've got your answer Yeah, it's it's very blatantly in front of you. But here's the problem if if you've

gone on this date, but they're continuing to text you, that's the lead on, that's the hey. And I mean, we're different, I think. I think we come from the generation of like, hey, look, what's going on? Like, I gotta go, I don't have, you know.

Not that I don't have time for it, I don't want to spend time on it. You know, it's like, get in, get out, or get into it and let's make something work. So, you know, I think there is something to the pacing of a dating relationship. It should be pretty, like if you go on a date and you have a good time, and both of you are interested, near the end of that date, somebody should say,

we should go out again. Yeah, this would be, this was nice. Would you like to do this again? And I think whoever asks, because we live in a modern relationship where.

Robb (: 12:15

I think anyone can ask. I have no problem. If a girl asked me out on a date or asked me to lunch, I would be fine with that. I don't I don't have the. You should. Let's just face it. There's no reason. No, but I think that some people may. You know, there's there's some machismo out there that might take that as a bad sign. But I take that as she's interested. She's into you. And I'm I'm going to I'm going to at least twinkle my toes in the water. You know what I mean? Like so it says, let's see what else is here. It says.

It's easy for a woman to feel that a guy may need encouragement or that he's a bit different than other guys, but don't make excuses for someone else. Nobody is too busy to call or see you no matter what they say. That's right. It says, she's even known clients who have flown to a city where a woman has a layover just to spend time with her. That's cool. That's really cool. Yeah. I...

at one point lived very far away from someone. It was about a two and a half hour drive during the weekday, if I would leave.

I left from my house to meet her after work and I spent probably maybe 25 minutes with her and then left. Wow. Yeah. So if you like somebody, you are going to be willing to do what it takes to see them, whether it's 25 minutes or a three hour date, you're going to make that work.

Um, let's see and it says and don't worry about being too picky You have to be when it comes to things like consistency reliability and kindness if someone doesn't live up to your standards Cut them loose Wow this girl the this coach is pretty spot -on. I think mostly with our generation I think she's got to be older because this is these are things that I definitely think that

Robb (: 14:21

our generation even did as younger people. Like we were, if you're not interested, I gotta go. I don't have time for this shit. Because life does move pretty quickly. And there is some kind of, hey, um.

I'm willing to stay here for a little bit. Sooner or later, you gotta jump out of the airplane if it's going down. And at our age, I think it's, look, tell me this, this, this, this, and this, and if it's a no, I respect you, I respect that, but I have to move on. Let's see, what does it say here? Stop responding. I think this is a hard one, but.

It says, ultimately you may have to stop engaging with the person. If you feel like somebody is just throwing you crumbs, stop picking up the crumbs. Absolutely. Absolutely. If a person really wants to be with you, they're going to amp up their efforts in response. Don't forget that you are the CEO of your own love life.

And if people you date are interns applying for the job, focus your energies on the people who do follow up. That's kind of a good way of looking at it, in a very business sense. I don't think a lot of people like to look at relationships like that, but unfortunately, that statement is pretty true. You know, it...

from the business sense, if you're the mate you're looking for, you don't want interns. There's tons of them. I want, I want. Especially at our age, like really, are you in or are you not? Cause life isn't getting any shorter. Yeah. And any longer. And, and well, both. It's getting shorter. It's getting way shorter. But I think that.

Robb (: 16:15

You know, life, we can look at it both ways. And I told somebody that the other day that someone told me one day, life's really short. And I went, yeah, but life's also really long. Like you get to a point where you're just like, I'm done. Like I want out of this shit. And I mean that in the sense of just like you're.

You're mostly in like a relationship thing. Sometimes it's just better to be alone. Like I'm out of this shit. I don't need the headache. I want somebody who's in for the right reasons. You both have some kind of common goal. You can be different. We've talked about this on many other podcasts. You don't have, everything doesn't, actually everything shouldn't be the same. I think, I don't wanna date me. You know what I mean?

I mean, I wanna date someone who likes who I am and I like who they am and we somehow become a symbiotic being. I want 90 % me, I think that'd be awesome, like a good mix of these, but I want, I don't want me. I want them to like me and go on. It would be best to have somebody that complements you, not that is you.

And complimenting normally is they're not all the way one way or another. They're a little bit more in the middle with things for sure. This one says or an and call out behavior. Call them, call them on it. Give them a small window to respond and then block their number if you don't like what they're telling you. That's the easiest part of everything is it's so easy to block a call. Yeah, it's so easy. Let's see.

Says, she notes that, oh, I'm sorry, he notes in his experience, women have been the ones breadcrumbing guys. For some women, breadcrumbing is a way of flirting and keeping options open. Regardless of gender, it's a way of flirting, passing time, maintaining options, and feeling validated. So that is the article. I...

Robb (: 18:31

So let's really kind of break this down.

Robb (: 18:36

I think this has always been a problem, right? I believe that it's probably done more now because of social media.

Well, it's easier because they don't have to do it in person. Correct. And I think, you know, I guess in the old days it would be leaving messages on your answering machine, you know, every blue moon seeing each other in passing and then not talking for two months, you know, whatever, whatever it is. There was always a check in, right? There's always somebody that would call us and be like, hey, I haven't talked to you in forever. And you're like, who the fuck is this? Or and then caller ID came and then.

And that changed, I think, the world as well, right? Yes, absolutely. So I think that when you start looking at it from that point of view, it started probably in the early 90s, right, of being probably more prevalent. I would say people probably have always done it. Yes, but I mean easier. Oh, you're right. Everyone, yeah, for sure they've done it. Yeah. I mean, I think love letters and back in the day. Mm -hmm.

were the ultimate, because you could just put it in the mail and wait. It would take four days to get there. They'd read it. It'd take another four days to get back. You would know by next week. Yeah, but then you can sit on it. Yeah, oh yeah. That's the bigger thing, right? So you get this letter and you read it. And if you're the one bread crumbing, when the letter gets back to you again, you just sit on that thing.

and sit, sit. So that would be the, you know, leaving someone on read, you know what I mean? Like, but now with, and there's all forms of digital media, right? So.

Robb (: 20:29

If you text them and they don't answer, you have Facebook message them, you Snapchat them, you Instagram them, you WhatsApp, or you WhatsChat, or whatever the hell. WhatsApp. WhatsApp. I mean, there's so many ways of trying to get ahold of somebody. And then the end of the day, I read one of the best things in the world. From the standpoint of it being horrible but funny, that if all else fails, you just email them.

Like where you been? I've been texting you eight thousand times. Yeah, so there's always a way I don't think that this is Like I said not new but I do believe that this is going to start happening

way more in the generation after us and below. Well, it must be already if they got a name for it. I mean, we didn't have a name for that back in the day, but we didn't have names for everything. So right. And there, I don't think NBC four would have wrote an article about it during during our time. Yeah, you're probably right. They would have just left that shit alone. I guarantee the writer of the story is probably a millennial. You know what I mean? Like she or he. Yeah, it's a her Stephanie.

And I think a lot of it has to do with, look, they're trying to get these, for one, terms, but not just that, the word out. Like, this is something that obviously is - Bugging people. Becoming so prevalent that we had to name it, we have to talk about it, and it ends up on my Facebook.

Page somewhere that now I have to talk about it on a podcast. So it's and look it's happened to me Probably it's happened to everybody. Um, I just think that it it ends quicker, right? I was in a Relationship I don't know how you want to call it. Not a traditional relationship and we talked a lot and

Robb (: 22:35

it's very much told me like, I have to be careful about talking to you so much because I'm leading you on. And I went, look, I'm a big boy. If I thought she was leading me on, I would jump out of it. I'm like, I know. And if anything, I would be leading myself on. I think that's how I look at it. Maybe I just come from that.

We come from that era of like, if I'm doing this, it's my fault, not theirs. I also believe though that she ended up getting in a relationship and we didn't talk for a year and a half. So no, but I think that that's what probably should have happened, right? I don't need to be that close to a relationship.

because she's trying to cultivate something and vice versa. I think that if I got in a relationship, I would make sure that that person was not texting me all the time or that sort No, you don't want people coming into your relationship and screwing what is working up. Correct. And if somebody's there and wants to be there with you, shouldn't you give that relationship the time? I think you should. Right, it should be the top of the top thing.

Yeah, absolutely. And so to me, I think there's a lot that goes with, if you're both, well, if you're both single, that's a whole other monster. I think this is where this article comes into play. You should only be a worm on a hook for so long, right? But I think you as the person who's getting breadcrumbed, let's say,

You have to decide when it's enough. And kind of realize. And the sooner the better, to be honest, like roll through. You know, my dad used to tell me you're going to kiss 100 frogs before you find your prince.

Robb (: 24:42

I think it was more like three or 400, but whatever. Close enough. Yeah, close enough. But you just move on. You know, it's not working. Go to the next like you don't stick with something that's not working and try to make it work. Right. That doesn't make sense. But get away so you don't have to. Nothing's in your way because. My my friends often say guys will smell if another guy is around.

And they say it a lot. So there's something to that if they're all saying it. But as soon as if there's not a guy around.

And a guy is very interested, then that guy will do whatever it takes to be with you, to be there with you and to have fun. But if you've already got somebody lined up, like waiting to bat, you know, where is he in line? And why would he put time into that? Because he knows he's got competition and he's not wanting to play with competition. He's wanting to play with you. I totally agree. I think and I think it's both sides. I don't want to just say either.

but I'll say a man because you just said that. A man, if he likes somebody, will do whatever it takes. Yeah.

And I mean, whatever. Whatever, I've seen that, yeah. He'll travel, he'll go to the ends of time, he'll ask you He'll help you move. He'll do everything. He'll He'll do whatever because he's trying to show somebody like, look, I really do like you and I'm doing this because of that. Because I got you. Yeah. And this is how I'm going to be after I have you. Yes.

Robb (: 26:25

Hopefully that's the theory I mean Yeah, I mean I can go into a whole other Monster of things of guys who've changed afterwards and and I probably did at one point I Think that I've learned a lot. I was just talking to somebody about that that look You change for you you don't change for the other person

I agree with that. You change because you want to be a better person to make sure that they understand you're a better person. Right. And some of us don't learn that until you go through something traumatic or or something that just blasts you around. Like, I think I learned a lot from my divorce. Oh, yeah. A lot. A lot. And and there's something to be said to that, right? That, you know, you you go through this.

Traumatic experience this financial experience and You come out of the other side generally cleaner And but it might you know, yeah because a divorce it a divorce is all about having to take inventory and if you don't want to take it your spouse will definitely put it out there so you have to so

That is a good house cleaning moment. Yeah, it kind of reminds me of Shawshank Redemption. My friend down the street, she had never seen it. And I said, you have to see Shawshank Redemption. Because I had talked about when he crawls through the pipe. And I said, sometimes you have to crawl through 200 feet or 200 yards of shit to get to the other side cleaner. And sometimes you come out of that pipe covered in shit and you're still clean.

because you've gone through this stuff and we all go through these things periodically, right? Looking for what we hope is a better thing the next time. And does it end up being better? Sometimes not.

Robb (: 28:37

Sometimes it takes three, four, five, six relationships. Sometimes you never find it, and I wish everyone does. But I also think you have to test that theory. And being stuck in a bread -crumbing situation is not testing the theory of finding the person that's for you. No, it's safe though, because you're never gonna have to do much. Because there's no expectation. But...

That's gotta be pretty lonely too. I agree, I think it, no one wins in that situation. The person doing the bread crumbing is probably, like they said, it's an ego thing. They're getting something from it, right? They're getting someone who is either telling them they're pretty or they're flirting with them. They're getting something from that. But even that's a lonely existence.

Absolutely. And here's the bigger problem, I think, with this breadcrumbing thing. Let's say you're breadcrumbing somebody and you meet somebody, right? And now you're starting to start this relationship and you disappear from the person that you were doing this to. And then you realize that the person you're with is a of shit. And that you kind of like the person that you breadcrumbed. Yeah. And that you kind of miss.

Because the person that you probably been bread crumbing has been telling you the truth the whole time. And you end up with this person now who probably told you a bunch of nice things in the beginning and then shit on you somewhere else. And now you're like, oh shit, I'm stuck with this piece of shit. And I can't text this other guy. And if I do and he finds out I'm with somebody, that goes to shit.

So this is where I think no one wins from this with the exception of maybe someone's ego at some point, but once that ego trip falls and you, and like I said, you meet somebody and that goes to shit, the person that you left behind now also may be gone. And should be. And should be. And should be. Yeah. And, and there's so many things that, that come from this sort of behavior that,

Robb (: 31:05

you're just wrecking, I think, yourself, if you're the one doing it. And somebody that's innocent that's really looking for something more. Yeah, that probably likes you a lot. Yeah, that would probably put some time in if you weren't such an asshole, you know? Well, or yeah, if you just... And again, there's circumstances with all this. I don't want to dive too deep into that, but...

There's psychological profiles of these of people and I think that both both both sides of this have a profile Right the the person who's getting breadcrumb generally is probably overly nice Can't help themselves. Maybe doesn't date a lot or never at all You know that so they're they're getting validated from this person that they like talking to them I have a friend who? who

I grew up with who's very much like that and gets in the situations where they're probably talking to people that are never ever gonna, they're never gonna date them, no matter what happens. And it's sucky because there's something from that and I think that they mean well.

And I think the person on the other side means well too, because they don't want to break them. But at some point there has to, I think, a good line in the sand.

I think you should always be just upfront and honest with people because if you're if if what you're doing could personally break somebody like shame on you You don't you don't push things to that limit, especially if you're not taking anything serious Yeah, I mean look the truth does hurt. Mm -hmm. It does but I don't it's supposed to but I'd rather be heard up front Yeah, you know what? I mean like like if you're gonna break my legs break them now So they can heal and I can walk

Robb (: 33:10

Don't don't let me go seven eight twelve months and then the next thing I know you're beating my legs down with a bat and I'm like hey wait like You're running from me. I can't walk now. Mm -hmm. That's just not cool and

Obviously it's happening more and more. Yeah, because now there's a name. Now, I'm glad I kind of read, I didn't read this article earlier because, you know, like I said, I think women probably do it more. Possibly. And even this guy said in his experience, women are the one doing it mostly. Of course it would be his experience because he's dating women. No, no, no, this guy's a, the guy that I'm talking about, he's a dating coach. He's just seeing it happen.

Okay, see I think it's, I would say it's going both ways. Without a doubt. Without a doubt. He just said it's that in his mind they're doing it more. Which doesn't shock me, right? Just because, and again, I think not that men aren't...

Creatures that like to be complimented a guy who tells you that he doesn't want to be complimented by a woman is lying to your face with the utmost of lying Because because that is total bullshit Men like to be complimented just as much as women. We like to be flirted with just as much as women At least in my experience and the people that I've been around

It's definitely for sure. It might not be as talked about among the boys. You're not going and going, hey man, this girl was flirting with me last night. I don't think that.

Robb (: 35:03

it's probably as prevalent. I think girl talk is just girl talk and you guys probably do talk about that a little bit more. We talk about everything. Yeah. And you're dirty. Oh my goodness. Women are the dirtiest. I don't know what you're talking about Rob. I don't know. They're dirty. Girls are dirty. But I definitely think that there's a lot of girls that probably come from a place where maybe they didn't get

a lot of compliments when they were in high school and now they've blossomed. Or maybe a woman who did well for herself, had relationships through her 20s and 30s and now is 40.

and getting, has blossomed again, or something has changed in her, and she's getting more compliments. So they're feeding into that. Which is, and I don't wanna shit on women, I don't wanna say that there's nothing wrong with that. I believe that as long as you're telling the truth to the people who are doing it, there's nothing wrong with it, zero.

but just be upfront, like, look, I appreciate it, but I'm not looking for a relationship right now. We can be friends, because look, if a woman tells you that you're only gonna be friends.

100 % and without a doubt believe that shit. Is that true though? Once they say it, it happens. No, but but I think that should be the way of thinking. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Don't don't think that it's going to be anything other than that. And then if it turns into something, that's because she realizes that you're the catch. But but don't if because if someone tells me we're just friends, I'm going to go, OK, cool.

Robb (: 36:57

Next. Now, there's something that comes with that though. You start, you are going to be treated like a friend. And I think this is where the bread crumbing might start again. Because. Yeah, you're probably right. Because those compliments are probably gonna go away. Or, and the, hey, I'm moving this weekend, he's going to be busy.

He's gonna be like, you better tell your boyfriend. And should. Yes, without a doubt. And I think friends, if you're a real friend, you'd help no matter what. Exactly. Because you know going into it. But if you're a real friend, you wouldn't be getting bread crumbed.

Because you and I are real friends and you text, I always text back. Like there's, and most of the time right away, unless I'm busy at work or whatever. When you call, I answer the phone. If friends do that, they don't get, oh, I can't get with you until next week or I can't get this. Like that's not being a friend. Right. Well, and if you can't get with somebody until next week, you make the plan. Yeah. So it's like, I can't.

this weekend, but you know what, I'm not working and you're not working this Thursday night, let's have dinner. And then you make the plan. I agree with you there. I think when it comes to real friends and understanding, you know what the reality of that situation is. And you work with it. Yeah, and I'll give you an example. If someone is your friend,

and they are like, hey, I made too much for dinner. Do you want dinner? I'll bring you some leftovers. I don't take that as... I love those friends, by the way. Me too. I'm telling you, I got one down the street. She's a good cook. And anytime she's like, hey, I made something. Do you want? Yeah. Yep. And she was like, it was funny. She made some like pasta.

Robb (: 39:06

meat pasta stuff. And she was like, it's kind of simple and kind of plain. I was like, yeah, bring it.

And and I ate it and she was like I go yeah, I was bomb and she's like, yeah, but it was kind of simple I go I'm simple that was good You know and simple works for a lot of meals too like the nicest meals don't have to be these I Slave for four hours and yeah every pot and pan on the stove like it doesn't have to be like that. No Well, and not only that I think that

Men are just simple creatures. They are. They are for the most part. Yeah. I mean, don't get me wrong, guys love like gourmet food, but we also like, hey, I made. They're like these burgers and beats. I this meat with this potato and this vegetable and we will kill that and be just as happy. Absolutely. So. You know, at the end of the day, this bread crumb thing, I think.

it's going to just get worse. But not with our generation, I don't think, but I definitely think the middle generation, my kid, it's really funny, because he just turned 21, and I kinda shit on his generation all the time. I'm like, dude. You think? Yeah, I go, Gen Z, God, you guys are horrible, and you're weak, and blah, blah, blah. And look, some of it is true, but it is. Some of it is true. Some of it is true.

But on the flip side of that, he says things to me sometimes and I'm like, you know, your generation does this and he goes, that's not mine, that's my sister's. And I go, oh yeah, you're right, it's like the millennial generation. It's like that middle ground, it's like 35 to 29. It's like, they're the ones who did it. And my son kind of shits on that generation, like they're the ones that did all this stuff. He goes,

Robb (: 41:06

you know, are we part of that? Sure. But he goes, none of my friends are like that. And none of the people that I talk to online that I play games with are like that. It's like, so I think this next generation is is changing a bit. I think I would hope so, because truly I don't even want to hang out with millennials. I think the new generation is quasi Gen X.

You know, where there, you know, there's a guy, if you can check him out on, he's on Instagram. He's called the dad bod veteran. He's this guy, he's from the South. He has this big beard. Anyway, he, he, he always posts these videos on there of like.

millennials and Jenna and Jen's ears just doing dumb shit. You sent me stuff. Yeah, he's funny. Guys really funny. Well, he had some young kids like

10 or 11 and they were in one of those little baby cars, you know, like the little plastic cars and they're pushing this kid in it full speed towards a curb with no helmet on and it like flips over and it and everyone goes, yeah. And he goes, and it flips to him and he goes, oh man, he goes, this is beautiful. He goes, he goes, I.

I see this and I feel that the next generation may be okay. And I believe that. And I hope that this bread -crumbing thing, look, we all need to be honest with each other. And I think that we're coming to a point where if we don't start being more honest, the social media thing is already shitty, right? And...

Robb (: 42:57

The online dating thing, I think, is the worst thing in the whole wide world. It's good for women. It's horrible for men. Yeah, we did a show on. Yeah, statistically, it's horrible for us. So, you know, we're damned if we do and we're damned if we don't. Meeting people in bars is a toss up. You know, you might as well flip a coin. You could end up with the a super narcissist or a super simp, although just going to do everything.

or drunk or whatever. But I just think that, and that's life, don't get me wrong. I shouldn't be saying things like, oh, no matter who you meet, you can go sideways. But when it comes to this, I like the guy in the warning signs. See them quickly.

And when you do, it's time to cut it off. Yeah, do something about it. Like you should, you should always expect people to treat you at a certain level. And if they're not, they don't need to be in your world. Yeah. Well, and like you said, it's so easy to block people now. Yeah, it's just today as a matter of fact. It's funny. Speaking of that, my kid, he was telling me he goes, he was talking about that. He goes, yeah, I was talking to somebody and yeah, they kind of pissed me off. So I just blocked him. And I was like,

Really? Like just gone? Yeah, gone. I don't care. I don't need that shit. that also concerns me too because if you don't learn to disagree with somebody and be able to still be friends, there's something wrong there too. Yeah, but I think it was more of a relationship style thing. It wasn't just someone like, I didn't believe, you know, I didn't like him because he liked Trump. I don't think it was that. It was...

things were said or, you know, and relationships are weird with that generation anyway. But this was somebody that he was talking to, like, that he liked at one point. And something was said or something was done, and they all talk behind each other's back like we did in school. Nothing's changed. It's the same shit, it's just online now.

Robb (: 45:05

So he heard something and he was like, and I asked him, I go, oh yeah, have you talked to her lately? Oh no, I don't talk to her anymore. Because this happened. And I was like, oh. And he goes, yeah, I just blocked her. Moved on. I was like, oh, okay. And I think there's something to that. Because he'll probably be bread crumbed way less.

I would hope so. Because he's, no, probably not totally because when you like somebody, we do dumb shit. Yeah. I mean, look at the murder rate. Mm hmm. People murder people for relationships all the time. Yeah, it seems like that's growing too. Yeah. I think, well, I think a lot we can get we can do another show on that. I think a lot of that has to do with the 24 hour news cycle as well. It's always happened. We just never heard about it because there was there was nothing in it for.

you know, middle America to report on a murder. It's probably happened since we were kids. Same with, I always tell people about kidnapping. I go, they're like, oh, I would never let my kid walk to school like you guys did, because they might get kidnapped. I was like, it happened when we were kids. Yeah, it did. It happened all the time. There was just, there was no CNN to tell you.

There was no yellow alert or amber alert or ebony alert, whatever the fuck that is now. So at the end of the day, all these things have been happening. We've been breadcrumbed forever. We just called it leading on and when we thought we were being let on, we jumped the fuck out of it. And I think maybe it's this generation is just different than us. I think we...

our generation, the Gen Xers, always thought that they had a chance with somebody else. Like we always thought there's always somebody, you know, we, as much as the boomers probably came up with it, there's always other fish in the sea. I think we took that to heart. We were like, well, gotta go.

Robb (: 47:10

and you went on to the next person. That's true, we did. Yeah, I mean, even as younger people, I think, you know, high school was a whole other thing, because we're just high schoolers. But I think once we got out, I think we were pretty prevalent in going, okay, it didn't work, you know.

We cried our tears and we got our heart broken and then we. Here was somebody the next week. We patched it up and moved on. And I think that's probably why our generation is a little harder. And we we give a shit. We don't give a shit a little more than most. People are just like, now, whatever, you know, it goes on because. Yeah, because it does. Because it does. And I told my friend that the other day.

because she was just like, oh, about situation she's in. And I said, at the end of the day, the bottom line is it's going to work out because it has to. And she was like, yeah, but, and I was like, yeah, you're right. Yeah, but, that's true. Yeah, but, but at the end, it will work out because it has to. And...

we're all strong enough for it to work out and we're all strong enough not to be let on. Oh yeah. And like I said, if you're being let on, you know it. But you also need to look at why you're allowing that to happen. Because truly if you're being let on, there's something that you are needing that you're not getting and you should try to work on yourself a little bit more. Agree. I think that, look,

I think that's with everyone. And I think everyone has to work on themselves. Absolutely. More than we're probably doing. Because we live in a hustle and bustle, right? And sometimes you have to go to lunch with your friends. Sometimes you have to go to the beach alone. Sometimes you have to go on a walk and do things.

Robb (: 49:15

A mental health minute is just as good as a mental health moment. You know what I mean? Sometimes you just have to get your, pull over, scream at the top of your lungs, put the music back on loud and keep driving. Because that's what's going to get you to the next step in the next step. Well that's life going on right there. That's what's supposed to happen. And I think with this, we need to have less terms for shit.

because we're running out of... Are we really though? It seems like they could go on forever with this. Well, but we're going to make everyone just a term. Everything's like gaslighting and ghosting and bread crumbing. It's like, okay, it's... And I think in our case, we always just go like ghosting. Oh, you mean they just don't call you anymore? Yeah. Okay, all right.

And bummer, you don't have to deal with the rest. Yeah, or this girl keeps getting a hold of you every three months. What's the deal? It's like, bro, come on. Bread crummy. Yeah, she's bread crummy.

So look, we don't talk like that. That's why I think it's so funny because we're just like, ah, I see him. Then we don't see him. And like I said, the people who are important in your life, you're going to let in because they're important to you. Yep. And and if it turns into something awesome. But no one should wait for anybody. And.

You should live and I think some people live and they're fine with where they're at and some people Can't live without something. So like I said a friend I grew up with just has a bad problem with with I and I hate to say out of someone's league but always always looks for that that ten and it's like

Robb (: 51:18

You know, I want a fashionable eight. I want a great seven. I just listened to a podcast today and we'll leave it at this, but I always talk about it and it's called Modern Wisdom. He did a show on, let's see, what did it say? It says, no, not that one.

If you go on, check it out, it's episode 751 of the Sky Show. It's basically, does science make someone attractive? And they go over everything of like sexual attraction, height, weight, symmetry of your face, like.

All these different things, and I should have sent it to you, you should listen to it as well. It's just interesting, there's so many factors that are, mean something at certain ages and don't mean it at some certain ages. And it's kind of like, I found something interesting that the guy said, and this will be the end of our show. He said that women generally like older men.

but only by a very small amount of years. Men, as they get older, want someone way younger. But you knew they end up with? The person that is only a few years apart, because the women who decided the relationship is gonna be with. Really? Yeah, because, I mean, with the, and this is kind of the middle ground of like, not ultra rich people that can just go out, like guys that can go out and get a 20 year old at will because he's bloated.

The guy ends up not settling but going with the woman who wants an older man and the five or six year difference is fine because he actually enjoys her. He thinks he wants the younger And they have things in common. They have things in common but he really wants just a good woman. He thinks he wants the youth because men are built on youth. Like we think that once we're 21, we're always 21.

Robb (: 53:34

Women think as they get older, they look for the person who is going to be the provider and all those things. It's just an interesting podcast. I sent it to my friend and told her to listen to it and to get back to me because I want to see what she thinks. It's interesting. It's just there's so many things of the human mind. And this guy is a evolutionary psychologist and he goes through this long thing about it. I would just say people out there, if you want to

on a podcast other than us, Modern Wisdom, it's a really good listen. And you leave these things, I mean, maybe smarter, I don't know, they use a lot of big words, but there's a lot of really good things in it.

Send it to me, because I'd like to. I will, it's a positive. I'll send it to you right after we're done hitting stop on this. Nice. So hey, check us out on social medias, the Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or X, or whatever you want to call it. You can listen on Apple, Spotify, you can listen on.

YouTube music, iHeartRadio, there's so many damn places. Any way that you hear podcasts, you can listen to this show. We're on every Wednesday. Any last words for our bread crumbing episode? I would say that the only thing I could say is be the person that you want to attract. Yeah. That's OK. We're going to leave it at that. I agree with that. That's that's probably the one of the better statements here. Yeah.

because that's will get you what you want. And what you do to others will be done to you. So prepare for that. Like that's why you want to do right by people. And not not that you won't go through your own drama because you will. But you always want to try to leave people a little bit better than when you found them. Yeah. Leave them together, not broken. Yeah.

Robb (: 55:29

And hey, this is an opinion show, so don't get it twisted. Keep coming back every Wednesday. Until next week, that's Tina over there. I'm Rob. We'll see you later. See ya.