EP #159 The Power of Influence: How People Shape Our Lives

Robb (: 00:00

And welcome to another show of Don't Get This twisted. I am Rob along with my co -host as always, Tina, how you doing?

Tina (: 00:06

I'm hot, Rob. It's fucking, this heat is ridiculous. Like it's beyond ridiculous.

Robb (: 00:08

Robb (00:11.996)

Yeah, at my work today, it was 108.

Tina (: 00:17

huh. Yeah, it was 104 here and I had to, was 105 here and we don't have the ceiling in our house right now, in like half the house. So with the air on we could get it to 88. And I have to cook outside on the barbecue and it's fucking crazy. I'm over it. 88, yeah.

Robb (: 00:35

Yikes.

Robb (: 00:41

88 yikes.

Tina (: 00:44

But they're gonna be putting the ceiling in tomorrow and we don't have no insulation. That had to come down too because of all the wiring and the gas and the water. So it's freaking hot. Thank God we have a 88 in the house,

Robb (: 00:50

Yeah, everything.

Robb (: 00:57

Yeah, 88,

Robb (: 01:03

That's warm. That's really hot in the house. That's pretty bad. Yeah, yeah. That's like, wow. Okay, well, now I feel bad. Yes.

Tina (: 01:04

Yeah, it's almost 90 degrees, yeah.

Tina (: 01:11

Yeah, so I'm hot. Yeah, but I'm going to Hawaii on Saturday for a week and I'm not complaining about anything more than the heat. Hawaii.

Robb (: 01:22

That's very nice. What island? quiet. That's a pretty island.

Tina (: 01:27

That's what I hear. I've been to Maui and I've been into the Big Island. I've never been to Kauai.

Robb (: 01:32

Yeah, Kauai is supposed to be like, I hate to say the romantic island, but that's kind of what they say, because there's like lots of waterfalls and jungle and like, it's pretty, it's a pretty island. I've never been to Hawaii at all, I have, that's on my list of to -do's.

Tina (: 01:39

Yeah.

Tina (: 01:48

Yeah, we're gonna go on a rafting trip. That should be interesting.

Robb (: 01:52

Very cool.

Tina (: 01:54

I don't know, it'll be fun. We'll see what happens.

Robb (: 01:58

Mm -hmm. Well as long as you make it back. Well, that's all it matters

Tina (: 02:01

Yeah, well let's hope so. Last time I went I took my dad and he drowned and had to spend an extra day in the hospital so let's hope that everybody comes back in one piece and that everything is okay. I'm sure it will be. Yeah.

Robb (: 02:12

Yeah, that's a good point. So, make sure you check out our socials. I know I'm supposed to say that all the time. We had somebody in another new country, a tiny one at that, Iceland. Yeah, very, very cool. We can't get all the states in this country, but we're getting Iceland, so it's very, yeah, very cool.

Tina (: 02:28

No freaking way.

That's crazy.

Tina (: 02:37

Thank you Iceland.

Robb (: 02:40

Today we were chatting before the show about just life in general because we usually have to catch up after a little while. But you came up with a really cool show about people who...

Tina (: 02:58

are influential in our lives.

Robb (: 02:59

Yeah, that influenced us on whatever level. And I think that there's so many ways of going with that because, you know, we, me and you

Robb (: 03:14

hobbies and other things over our life that we've done that are outside the normal people's way of looking at things. And then of course just life people because there's a lot of people that I'm sure that when you start thinking about the influential years, and to me that would be probably 12 on, you know what I mean?

Tina (: 03:41

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 03:43

Those are, so for us, that's 40 years of people. Like where, who in 40 years influences you? And I think that there's start to finish. Like I think there's still people today that I haven't known that long that are influencing me. And of course there's people that I've known since elementary school.

Tina (: 03:59

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 04:08

And of course family, I obviously I think that if your family's not influencing you a little bit, there's probably a problem. But for you, and again, it doesn't have to be your biggest, what, who, and what, and why are the people who influenced you?

Tina (: 04:30

There's so many people. I remember in the fifth grade, I could not do math to save my life. And there was this teacher that I had, Mr. Nolan. He was a very tall, very well -built black man that had been a math teacher for years. And for some reason, he thought I was entertaining. So he would always make me the example or have me come up, because I used to make him laugh.

I was horrible in math, but he that year that I had him because he put me on blast because he made me get up and try and he was he was beneficial for my personality because he forced me to be okay with being wrong because when you go up and you put stuff on the board that was wrong like you got called out on it so that part was good but he also made me really good in math and I got the basics to the point where I went really far with it and

He was just an amazing man. Like one time I was fighting with a girl that I didn't start the fight that I know of. Like she just came up to me and started screaming and I had no clue as to what was going on. And when I was done, I was like, I hate that bitch. And he, he even pulled out a Bible and read a verse to me about hate and how like, you know, he basically was telling

You're better than that. You don't need to hate somebody just because they lashed out at you. Maybe they're hurt. Maybe they're scared. Maybe they're tired. Maybe they're being abused. And he broke things down in such a way. It really did carry with me. Like I give people a lot more credit than they deserve sometimes because of that man. You know, he he made me think differently about people. So he was definitely someone. And then I had, you

Mr. Tam Burrow, who is the reason I brought up this show. saw on social media, he met up with a bunch of guys that he had coached and the beautiful things that they said in the comments and how much he really helped them in coaching was it was I just enjoyed it. I enjoyed seeing his picture all these years later. I enjoyed seeing all the guys with them and how excited they were to see him and and just

Tina (: 06:50

comments on social media. He was beneficial for both of us because he taught us how to communicate. We were in a class called the communicators and we were a cross section of every different type of student that was in the school and we were put together to deal with racism issues and you know gang related violence and suicide and you name it. Everybody was put in there for a reason but it was definitely

I was put in there because I was the straight A honor student, but also Native American. So I checked two boxes. You know, everybody had their place and you were normally nominated by a teacher or a student that felt like you needed more than what you were getting. but he opened up my eyes to just a different way of being and how to be open and how to be honest and how to be caring and how to hug and how to get your point across, but also how to listen to people.

and how to hear what it is they're saying, even if they're not quite saying it, but like to read, you know, read body language, read what they're saying. And over the years, didn't, I knew that that class meant something to me then, because I took it five times and we were only allowed to take it once, but because they couldn't find any other smart Native American kids at that school at the time, like they let me go in class five different times, but it changed my life.

I could be really honest. I could open up in ways that I didn't ever think I would be able to. I could hold my own in those conversations. I could be caring and compassionate and I don't have to feed my ego and he taught us a lot of that. So I'm kind of digging the whole male teacher influence today.

Robb (: 08:43

Yeah, for me, now here's the thing. I was lucky enough to take it twice. that Tam was great. First of all, I had him for Drivers Ed first. And he was such a great Drivers Ed instructor. For those who are young, you actually took Drivers Ed in school and it was a class. Yeah, and he was the first one that really took

Tina (: 08:54

Me too.

Tina (: 09:06

Yeah, was a class. 10 weeks.

Robb (: 09:14

Driving like seriously like he was such a serious teacher about it. There was no Haha into that class like it was for real And I'm probably a defensive driver because of him because he always had that on the board when you walk in It said defensive driving And good yet exactly but but communicators for me was really big because obviously we've talked about it a couple of times I really

Tina (: 09:27

Yes.

Tina (: 09:32

and good judgment.

Robb (: 09:42

wasn't a big talker. And that class, not that it makes you, because you really, you didn't have to, you could, it was a, there was a lot of things for you to learn if you weren't a communicator in there. But I think the thing of like all of us hugging and like going over and kind of why we do certain things. And I always thought it was funny because to this day, you know, like the out -butt hug.

Tina (: 09:44

You're not at

Robb (: 10:11

how like when you don't know somebody, you like barely touch each other. And what it means when someone puts their arms under yours, and mostly I'm a tall guy. So like, you know, and what those hugs mean, it was just, it was an influential class and it really opened me up as a human being. And you're right, 30 something years later, it means more now because I probably use those same things today.

Tina (: 10:40

the tools that we got are amazing like everybody everybody says to me at one point in time or another I can't believe that you are able to see things that I'm saying the way that you do like you you understand me you well yeah I'm reading your body language I'm hearing what you're saying I'm feeling what what reaction I'm having to it like I use everything

in order to understand the person, order to communicate, in order to be closer to them. And we were not taught that outside of the class. And not too many of my people that I know have any sort of knowledge in that realm because nobody taught it. And people don't take time to learn about people the way we did in that class. And I'm so grateful.

I see him and I know, you know, I've, I know he's not a perfect person. He's far from it. But for me in the time that we interacted and for years after he, he saved my life. He, he gave me a voice. He, he lent his ear. You know, he, he, my God, I don't know how he put up with my teenage bullshit. Like, I don't know, but he was, he was always there for us.

I think about him with nothing but like gratitude.

Robb (: 12:15

Yeah, I agree. He just brought, he brought an A game and for one, he had an ear. You could tell him anything. But for me, it's like, I think I learned the social skills that I still use today. Like I talk, when people talk to me, I stare them in the eye. Like I'm in, and I listen with intention to try to understand somebody and try to feel what they're going through.

Tina (: 12:36

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 12:45

because we had a lot of people come through that class that weren't in the class that wanted to talk about things. Yeah, and that in itself was like not even pressure. I just think that it was, you know, it meant something that they would put their personal life in front of a bunch of students that, you know,

Tina (: 12:51

Absolutely on a daily.

Robb (: 13:13

we promise not to tell people. And that goes a long way. And even today it goes a long way. That if a close friend says something to you, that you hold it dear to your heart and, you know, don't tell the world. So, and for us it's hard because we talk all the time.

Yeah, it's, you know, there is something about that. So I agree with you. I would say Tam was up there for someone who influenced me to be a better communicator and human being 40 years later. It's, it's, it's really a good thing. And I, I wish that someone would find a way to have that class today. It should be in every school. Everyone should do that.

Tina (: 14:00

I don't know if the...

If the world is about that these days, you know, everybody's a victim and everybody gets offended. And there were so many things that was said in that class that should have offended and did offend and made us look at things differently that I don't know if people would be open to going through that, you know, because everybody's so worried that they forget that they need to learn the lessons.

Robb (: 14:19

yeah.

Robb (: 14:32

Yeah

Robb (: 14:37

Right, you're probably right. Maybe it was just for our time period. Maybe the Gen Xers were the only ones that could take that abuse. Because we had to hear, I I heard things in that class that I didn't even understand at the time, that people could go through such things. People were talking about anxiety and depression with us when they didn't have a title yet.

You know, that wasn't a clinical thing. It was just what I'm going through at this time period or girls who were pregnant in high school. Like, it's pretty wild looking back on it, but I think that those are the things that make us who we are today for sure. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, for me, there's a lot of people that influence me for different things.

Tina (: 15:22

I agree. I agree. He's very influential.

Robb (: 15:32

I mean, you really can't go too far without saying your parents. My dad probably more than my mom, just because I lived with my dad after I was 12.

So my influential years were with my father. He was also a single dad. So for me, I think once I became a single dad, really more, he more influenced me going through a time period of my life that I saw him go through. And the parallels between the two were kind of the same. And I got to really...

Robb (: 16:10

go back in time and realize that I did a lot of dumb shit and I could go to my dad and say sorry to him. And it was just good that he influenced me in my 40s because he said, look, you're gonna be fine and this is what's, you life's not over. So.

Those are the things that pushed me and again, my mom obviously influenced me in a different way because my mom is a talker or was and that's probably once I opened the floodgates, this part of this show is my mom. She was a mouth and she could speak and would say all kinds of crazy shit. I think that those are, you

Your parents do influence you even though they may have their own issues. You know what I mean? So, you know, I can't go far without saying my parents, but my dad, obviously, I just think that he was very much in my life during those years that I was a angry teenager full of testosterone and... No, I just think

Tina (: 17:19

Were you an angry teenager? I don't remember you being angry.

Robb (: 17:24

Having too much testosterone makes you maybe not angry, but you know you have a bite to you or you're you know chasing girls man my dad knew things about I mean he caught me with girls in the house and Yeah, like my this poor girl had to take a walk of shame through my apartment and you know, I mean

Tina (: 17:41

damn.

Robb (: 17:50

And not that he like caught me in person, but like he knew he might have a stupid so, you know Those are the type of things were like, you know, and he was cool about things where he would just be like here's some condoms Don't have any kids, please like that was my talk like I didn't get I didn't get any like Yeah, like don't do anything stupid cuz he like he didn't have to give me the talk. I was already doing it So I think it yeah, I think it was hit just his way of going

Tina (: 17:55

Right?

Tina (: 18:07

That was the whole talk?

Tina (: 18:14

I'm a little too late.

Robb (: 18:19

Can we not have any babies? Like it would be nice. So yeah, I would say dad and mom, but both my parents. And I think most people would say that your parents influence you.

Tina (: 18:30

I would absolutely say my parents, yeah. You know what's funny is my mom died at 59, so I was 40 when she died. My mom left me a lot of really good women that were her friends, and she had one who passed away a year after she did, and she was the one that got me into modeling. So I modeled for years and did.

She taught me how to be a woman and how to take care of myself and how to walk and how to talk and how to you know clean up the the act you know and but she also was very loving and very kind and taught me that you don't need to be a parent to be loving like you are one because she was so loving to me so incredibly loving that

I just can't say enough nice things about her and I miss her every day. Every day. it just is, just as much as my mom. You know, she was that, she was the second mom to me. Now I've got a couple of other moms that have lasted the, you know, the duration and they're there for me wholeheartedly and I think to myself, what a blessing that my mom left were these women

love me like I was their own and that I could call and they'll be there for me. So I have, I have a couple more left that are, that are doing really well and I don't want anything to happen to them because I don't know what I would do with myself. But they also taught me how to love other people's kids and how to be an influential person in their life and how like just saying stupid little nice things about a person really goes a long way.

And God, I appreciate them for

Robb (: 20:29

It's funny that we have these people that have been in our lives quite a long time. And they bob in and out, but if you really need them, they're always there. And those are generally, for me, the ones who are the influences, because you always go to them when you need something either told to you

Tina (: 20:42

They're in, yeah.

Robb (: 20:55

you need to be reminded or these small parental things. My best friend, he lived the best way, across an alley. That's the only way I can put it. If you can see where my apartment was in the valley in his house, there's literally a driveway in between it that separated the apartment and him. And I used to go to his house all the time.

Tina (: 21:19

Right.

Robb (: 21:25

for years we would hang out and his mom would scold me like I was her son. Like I would get in trouble all the time. And I remember when I went to his wedding, which damn, how many years ago now? Six, six years? Almost seven maybe? Seven years I think.

Tina (: 21:33

yeah.

Robb (: 21:49

And I remember going to his wedding and of course his mom was there. And the first thing I do when I walk up, she's like, hi, how you doing? Like, yeah, it's that's it's like second mom. And, and that's what I told her. go, you know, no matter what you're going to be, always be second mom, because I could walk in the house on a Sunday because she would always cook breakfast on Sunday mornings. I could go in the side door, pick up a plate.

Tina (: 22:00

No time's passed. Yeah, yeah.

Robb (: 22:17

like wave at her and she'd go, just get some food, Ricky, know, is, you know, doing this or they're doing that or, and it's like, yeah, like I'm just family. And when you're 40 something years old and they're still treating you the same way, it was interesting that we're influenced even by the smallest things like that.

Tina (: 22:41

But that's a big thing, that's being momed. And you don't get to be momed by your mom anymore. So the fact that you have that still, it carries some weight. It really does. It does for me.

Robb (: 22:55

It's funny too, because I was talking to my friend down the street, I went to, we've been swimming over her pool, and I took my son with me, and I had said something to my kid. And I don't even remember what it was, but I was a little upset that he did something. And I was like, dude, come on. And she goes, why are you saying that to him? Like, it's not a big deal, blah, blah, blah. And I went, shit, like, you're being mom.

Cause she's a mama bear. She's got kids and grandkids and, and, it's funny cause I go, I was talking to my kid and I go, she likes to mother bear you. And she, and he goes, she always has. She goes, you just don't see it all the time. And I was like, yeah. And then I said something to her the other day and she goes, well, yeah. She goes, if he's doing wrong, he's also going to get it. And I was like, that's a good point. Like you're just like my best friend's mom. If, if all is good.

You're going to get treated really good, but the first time you do something shitty, she's going to call you out on it. And I was like, okay, I'm okay with it then. Cause she will. And just like my best friend's mom, I got the, do I need to go talk to your dad all the time? And I was like, Nope, sure. Don't we're good. Nope. You know, or when my best friend would do something stupid, she'd go.

Tina (: 24:09

yeah, that's a good one. Never again, nope.

Robb (: 24:22

Rob, you knew better. Why didn't you say something? It's like, yeah, you're right. And then later on in life, it was like, well, I didn't say anything because we were having a good time. And she's like, yeah, I know, but you guys should have stayed out of trouble. But I get it. think influences, yeah. And influences come in these like so many different ways. Because you said something before we went on about like wrestling, and like who influenced me.

Tina (: 24:38

And that's what she's supposed to say, and that's okay. Yeah.

Robb (: 24:50

And you know, I did it for 20 years. And when you do pro wrestling for 20 years, I've met a lot of people. I will tell you that I don't have a lot of friends in wrestling, but I have a lot of acquaintances. Just because you, you know, we would drive hours to shows all over the place.

You would go to a show and you'd meet five new people all the time because new new people would come up and these and that There's a couple of people that I would say like there's a friend of mine His name is Rick sadist. He was remember he kind of got me into wrestling the training side I met him at a show in recita at the country club, which is funny that is now a church And there's a lot of debauchery that went on in that place. I'm sure

Tina (: 25:15

Right?

Robb (: 25:42

He was the first one that was kind of like, Hey, I'm training out San Bernardino. Do you want to come? And I remember just like lighting up and he's a great person to this day. But if it wasn't really for him kind of going like, you should do this or come out. And, I would have never done it. So like he was, is a big influence to me, even though, you know, we're not, he's more than an acquaintance, but he's, it is definitely like this influence of.

If it wasn't for you, I would have never gotten a ring because I was just one of those, you know, fans that were like, I'd love to be a wrestler. then, you know, a year and a half or two years later, here I am in a ring and did it for 20 years. So there is something to that. A chance meeting can turn into an influence and a friend. And you just don't realize it.

Tina (: 26:36

yeah. I think about, I think about being a hairdresser who influenced me in doing that. had an aunt that used to take me with her like the age of four is she had a big maroon car. It was a, I don't even know what it was, a cougar, had a cougar on it of some sort. But anyway, she used to take me to her, she had several, several salons. I believe she had either three or four and,

I would go there and fold towels and sweep at four years old. I was a big kid. I was already talking. I did not have a problem not communicating. My problem was communicating too much. So she would take me with her on the weekends and we would go and I'd help her just fold towels and sweep. But she used to be able to, but this was back in the day when smoking was still a thing in the salon. She could hold a big ass bottle of hairspray.

Robb (: 27:31

Right.

Tina (: 27:34

Hold her cigarette in two hands and spray the bottle all with one hand, like, or two fingers, I meant on the cigarette. two fingers on the cigarette, one on the nozzle, and two fingers holding the bottle, and she, and you know, that stuff could light you on fire. But I used to think she was like the coolest person, that she could do that all with one hand and talk with her other one. Like she

Robb (: 27:53

Yeah, deadly.

Tina (: 28:02

She was so much fun in the salon. She gave me horrible haircuts a few times. Like I'd ask her to do something and she would be talking too much and not paying attention. Next thing I know I got this really funky do and my dad would get pissed because I'd always grow out my hair and then cut it off and he hated it. So anyway, but I used to think she was cool. Everybody wanted their hair done. She made everybody look beautiful. She could smoke. Not that I'm a smoker. I was never a smoker.

but just the fact that she could do all that one handed, was like, my God, I want to be like that when I grow up. And I was not, you know, the one that needed to do all that with one hand, but I became a hairdresser because she made it look so interesting and so fun and, and, and glamorous in a way. And, I'm not one to care about glamor or anything, but I don't know. She

the influence she had was intense and it made me it made me go into it and and my mom too she she used to do all of her hair in the kitchen and so I'd call it kitchen hair but my mom did hair and she was very good at it as well but when she went to beauty school she was pregnant with me and couldn't handle the smells of all the chemicals and stuff so she couldn't finish and still did everybody's hair in

Robb (: 29:24

Mm

Tina (: 29:27

in the kitchen until I became a hairdresser and she's like, guess who isn't doing kitchen hair anymore? And I'm like, damn it. But yeah, so I got all of her clients.

Robb (: 29:35

Yeah, you are.

Yeah, you're doing the hair now. Here you go.

Tina (: 29:41

Yeah, my aunt used to do 13, 14, 15 haircuts in an afternoon at my grandmother's house when everybody go, can I have my hair done too, Auntie? Can I have my hair done too? Because I would always ask her first. she always said I was her favorite. I don't know if I really was her favorite, if she just told everybody that, because that's how I am as an aunt. I tell everybody they're my favorite. And I mean it. But they're my favorite at the time I'm with them.

Robb (: 30:03

Of course.

Tina (: 30:08

So don't know if she was like that too, but I definitely picked it

Robb (: 30:13

Right. I mean, it just goes to show you though that like, again, a small little thing turns into everything.

Tina (: 30:20

Yeah, I've been a hairdresser for 34 years. Like, if that's not influence, I don't know what is. Yeah, I started when I was 20.

Robb (: 30:23

34, wow.

Wow, 34 years, that's crazy.

Tina (: 30:30

Isn't that crazy? No, we're 53. So 33 years, I'm sorry.

Robb (: 30:36

Still 30 years just say 30 if you're round down 30 years a long time to be doing the same career

Tina (: 30:37

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is a long time. But you know, I think about doing other things and I would like to do other things, but I don't think I could give up doing hair because I'm so social now. I'm beyond social. I don't know what I'd have to do to keep myself happy if I had a nine to five job where I wasn't social. You know, I think I would, I think I would be so lonely. I couldn't do it. Who knows?

Robb (: 30:46

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 31:05

Right. Yeah, I mean, look, you know, as you get older, changing careers is a whole other thing. So but I've I had a conversation last night with somebody actually about just, you know, things looking at your life in a different direction. And I was like, she was telling me about, yeah, this job at my work does this and you just need to get this, you know, and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, I think I'm going look into that.

just to have it on a standby. And she works for a hospital or a medical place. And it's not a medical job. It's like a job inside the building of doing electrical work and mirrors and changing things. It's more of a electrician job than it is a medical job.

But I'm like, because she was telling me like, yeah, they started this. in my case, I'm like, look, I still got 15 years till I retire, right? Something like that, 13 years. I go, hey, maybe I should look into something that is a little closer to home and much more stable and whatever, because we live in the world we live in.

So I think that those are the things too. Again, this is the girl down the street that I always talk about, that even I'm being influenced by people today, right? It's not just these things in our life. And I'm probably doing the same to her, obviously. think friends influence each other. And I think that when you see people who...

Tina (: 32:43

absolutely.

Robb (: 32:51

are doing well or that's who gives you influences, right? These special times of, you know, you see them rising above and you're like, yeah, that influences me. Cause I've done the same with like my best friend. think that when I saw him get married, this is a guy who didn't get married until he was, when I say seven years ago.

Tina (: 32:57

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 33:19

45, he was 45 years old. So that was his first marriage. So he waited, you know, and I saw, and I still see when I go see them, him and his wife, that influences me to go like, that you can wait or you can do it later in life and be happy.

Tina (: 33:41

Tell

Robb (: 33:42

And, and, cause we live in a world where that doesn't happen much anymore, right? There's so many divorces. There's, we can talk about online dating until we're, like, puking my mouth. It's, it's, it's just a horrible thing. And to see someone who, and he fought, like I told you before, and I'm sure I said it on the show, his, his wife lived in, I think, not Minnesota.

Tina (: 33:54

Ew.

Robb (: 34:10

He lived in Michigan and he lived in Lancaster and they met in San Diego and they kept meeting there because of work. And then he would fly her out and then he'd fly out there and they did that for three years. And then it decided, hey, this is something bigger, let's do something. So that influenced me to be like, look, love is real. You just have to fight for it a little bit.

Tina (: 34:25

That's awesome.

Tina (: 34:39

You do.

Robb (: 34:39

And it's not easy and sometimes it's difficult and there's things in the way, but you can make it work. So those are the people that I think even today that I've known one for a long time, 40 something years, 41 years I think were at me and him, because we've been friends. I think I was 12, I think.

Tina (: 35:05

Wow.

Robb (: 35:06

Yeah, was like sixth grade. I think I was just going to turn 13, because I'm a June baby. I think I was turning 13. I probably met him at 12. And a couple months later, we had summertime.

So that's a long time and we've influenced each other for 40 years over a bunch of crazy dumb stuff and we're still we still text each other all the time and I plan on seeing him more just because well I'm not very far from him now and and again the the friend down the street she influences me to want to be a better person because she goes through some things and I see that like you you got to fight and I think

Tina (: 35:28

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 35:52

There's things like that, and you. I'll even say, you influence me a lot to push forward and see the world differently sometimes. Because I can be pretty one dimensional and go, no, this is the way it is. And I'm doing my best, so, and then you influence me to, like we've had our.

are long periods of time of not talking, marriage, whatever it was. And not long periods, we would always at least say hi every blue moon. But yeah, long periods of, mean, cause I would come and see you. yeah, yeah, for sure. I mean, but like I would, yeah, we haven't talked like this since high school. Well, right out of high school, cause we saw each other right out of high school and would still do things.

Tina (: 36:24

Yeah, but still long, long times in between. Yeah, it's not like this now.

Robb (: 36:42

But yeah, once you, you know, I look at you sometimes and I go, okay, well, she's been through this and she's been through that and this and that. And there's a lot of parallels that we have in life. So we'll talk about those parallels before we get on here. And it's kind of funny

we've, you know, I go look, you know, I'm glad that I see you in a certain place and I go, that's good, because that's kind of where I'm going or whatever. So yeah, influences are important to push you forward in life.

Tina (: 37:15

Absolutely. And it's amazing how little you have to interact with somebody to influence them. You know, it's not a, it's not a huge, you don't have to make any grand gestures. You just need to be there when the person's going through it and say, Hey, I've been there or Hey, give this a shot or nobody's going to die if you try this or, or quit saying no.

Just quit saying no to life, like entertain it. Have some fun.

Robb (: 37:49

I agree, because I'll give you an example for me trying to influence. So my friend down the street, her son...

Robb (: 38:06

It was going through some things. And for me, being a single dad of a boy, I saw that he was having some issues with family and I made sure to reach out to him and I still reach out to him. And thankfully he's close now so we hang out more. But he's the same age as my kid, but I knew he was having some issues. So I

text him all the time just to check in. Like, hey dude, you doing all right? Just making sure. Because he wasn't living with mom, he was living out and about. And I just wanted to, sometimes it's just a, hey dude, you doing all right? Like, are you there? What's going on? If you're down near town, hit me up, we'll go out to dinner. Like, whatever. Just to...

keep people on their toes. I don't have to do that with my kid, he's down the hall. I can do it all the time with him. This young man was living his own life for a little bit. Thankfully he's back at home for a little while and I think this is going to help him as well. those things I try to influence. And it was just a simple, hey, I hope you're doing all right. If you need anything, tell me.

That's it. It doesn't need to be this long drawn out thing. has to be, I care about you, I'm checking on you, is there anything I can do? Come down to eat with us, because me and my kid love to go eat. And he was, obviously being young, he didn't have a lot of money either. I'm like, dude, I'll get you money. I'll get you food. Just come down. We want to hang out.

and then him and my kid would hang out. So that gave them time to see each other. these are, and I want that relationship as well, because he's a good kid and I love my son, so, and I think that my son can influence him.

Tina (: 40:05

Absolutely. that happens that again, that happens so easily. Like my next door neighbor kid that I, I was always out of my house because she lived right next door. She and my daughter were really good friends. And I, I've her and she, let me back that up. Her mother and I will go that route. we talk about it now. She goes, you realize my daughter cooks because of you. I used to say that the way

her mom called her home was to shake a box like of macaroni and cheese or whatever the hell she was and that's how the kid knew to come home. And my friend would be like, you're such an asshole, but it's kind of true. I didn't teach her how to cook. I didn't know how to cook. So she was always over at my house and for the first few years, the only thing she would eat was peanut butter because she was, she didn't want me to get mad at her if she didn't like something that I had cooked.

And now I see her little she has like little Instagram videos and she's cooking on them and she's explaining why she's doing what she's doing and she's talking about that. I'm like, my gosh, she's she's doing it. She's she's got I got my podcast. She's got her little Instagram thing like I could see where my me just being around this kid has been an influence to her to the point where her mom says she didn't get it from me. She got that from you. And

I didn't realize when I was doing that at the time what I was doing. I was just, God, these kids needed to eat more than peanut butter. I literally had her own jar and would just sit it on the table where she'd sit with a spoon. Cause that's all I could get her to eat. And now here she is making foods and I'm like, Hey, bring some over. Let's see what she did. You know? Yeah. But, and the stuff that she does now with her makeup and everything.

Robb (: 41:51

Yeah, no doubt, right? Like, give me a little taste test. Yeah.

Tina (: 42:00

that I had a little piece of influence on her for that. And I watch her from afar. You know, I'm kind of one of the other moms that doesn't need to be there all the time, but is if need be. But I just like to watch her little Instagram things. And I like to hear what her mom says she's cooking and how she's she's being a good cousin to her her cousin. You know, I just.

I love that because I feel like I did have a part to play in that. did. I was the other mother or like when I coached, like I still have girls when I coached them at 15 and now they're 30, 31, 32, they still call me or they'll still get a hold of me on, on social media. Hey coach, you want to go out to lunch or Hey coach, I got some good news. Can you call me? Or I haven't seen you in, in 15, 16, 17 years,

but you were the one that cared, you know? So the influence thing, it's kinda cool. I kinda like being on both sides of it and age doesn't stop one and start another, they're intermixed.

Robb (: 43:09

Yeah, and they'll go on forever. And probably always keep influencing each other.

Tina (: 43:12

Absolutely.

Tina (: 43:17

Yes.

Robb (: 43:18

And I think that's the bigger thing for me is when you have someone that influences you to do whatever, like you said, like food. My friend down the street, I've decided I'm just trying things now. I don't care anymore because I'm so picky and finicky. And she's made me a bunch of different food and now she's gotten smart. She just puts it on a fork and sticks it in my mouth and just goes, if you don't like it spit it out.

So she's influenced me to just go I need to be a different person for whatever the remainder of my life is If if the other people around me like my kid who's sort of finicky Get something from that watching me do something. Maybe he'll try something and then she'll be influencing me and him and then he'll take that to his kids or whatever it's It's this revolving thing of influence and because i'm my dad right, I parented like my dad and

as hard as I might have been on my kid, I think that he'll get something out of it when he's a parent. So these are generational influences. My dad got it from his dad, who got it from his dad, who got it from his mom, whoever it is. These are the things that will continue to go on and we can continue to influence people going forward.

Tina (: 44:19

Absolutely.

Robb (: 44:38

even if it's something minute that turns into something big.

Tina (: 44:43

All you gotta do is plant a seed.

Robb (: 44:45

Yeah, and I think that those are the people who did it in our lives that planted these little seeds. Tam planted a tiny seed in the beginning of a school year in that class that by the time you were done, you were a different person. No one went through that class and came out the same. Never. And people wanted to go back to that class.

Tina (: 45:04

Never.

Tina (: 45:10

yeah, they'd come back and visit all the time. Like they couldn't get enough of it. Yeah.

Robb (: 45:12

Yeah, or try to get back into the class where you were like, please. I mean, there were people who were begging to get into that class because it was such an influential class that it made you a different person. And I think if you continue to do said things in your life, if you continue to first be influenced, I think that's a big part of being a person.

letting someone influence you.

Tina (: 45:42

I think the first part is just showing up. You know, if you're living your life and you're putting yourself out there and you're just showing up, you will be influenced by so many things.

Robb (: 45:57

That's true. And you have to be able to live your life and be open to every influence that can be around you. Because one thing that can be said to you at work from somebody might go, wait a second, that just opened up a whole nother thing that I never thought about. And.

Tina (: 46:09

Absolutely.

Robb (: 46:22

And I have a very small crew, so I only have seven people I work with, or six people that I work with, seven total. So it's a little different. We always talk things, so we're probably influencing each other more than we think.

Tina (: 46:38

Absolutely.

Robb (: 46:41

It's cool, it's a great thing. think that you're correct that it's an important thing to have people around you that push you, because pushing you is influencing you, and influencing you to be better person, see the world differently, and challenge yourself. You need them to go...

Tina (: 47:01

You need somebody to challenge your thoughts. Yeah, absolutely.

Robb (: 47:08

maybe you should try this or maybe you should do this. And I'm doing my best to do that with people that I can, if they're willing to open up and talk about things. Like we may never agree, but at least we're going to have some influence on each other. And it's important. I think that hopefully it's pushed more going forward.

Tina (: 47:26

Absolutely.

Robb (: 47:38

our phones influence us in the wrong direction. can't wait to, like I was telling you, several people, every time that I go hang out with my friend down the street, it's the most refreshing thing in the world, because I put my phone down and I don't pick it up. For hours, I was there three or four hours and I probably picked up my phone twice. It was the greatest thing in the world. It's refreshing to speak with human beings.

And there were several people there. I wasn't just talking to her. I was talking to her kids and the grandbabies and just interacting where the phone was nothing. It just sat in a corner and it didn't hurt anyone and it didn't tell me anything stupid. It didn't influence me and that was amazing.

Tina (: 48:21

as it should

Tina (: 48:27

So I started going out with a couple of friends and when I do, we put our phones in the middle of the table. Whoever grabs their phone first has to pay the bill. I've gotten out of three meals lately because they've answered their phone and they're the ones that said, because I was having problems with them being on it anyway and I was like, I don't want to go out to dinner with you because I feel like I have to sit in between your phone calls. But if you want to go out to dinner with me and you want to put your phone down, she's like, well, I think we should do this. She thought she was being

Robb (: 48:57

boy. Damn.

Tina (: 48:57

But I got three dinners out of her just because she said that I was bad with it and I'm not. I'll throw my phone anywhere and just forget about it when people are around. If they're not around, it is pretty much attached to me. For the most part, because if I'm in the pool, who gives a shit? But, right. But when people are around, I want to be with people. And so I've done this to her and she's like, you're such an asshole. I can't believe I said you made the rules. Now figure it out.

Robb (: 49:13

But that's most people. We're all guilty of that.

Robb (: 49:18

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 49:27

three meals, I'd make up like a king. I said I'd make out like a king. I'd turn my ringer off. I would never know it was even going on. I'd be like, something happened. And then I just put my my watch on silent. So if I got something, I'd be I'd wait her out. I'd be like, I can go a long time without picking up that phone, mostly for a good meal.

Tina (: 49:27

She's never gonna... What's

Tina (: 49:41

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm stubborn, so that's exactly what I've done, but after a half hour, she can't handle it. So all I have to do is eat slow. It's not a big

Robb (: 49:50

Yeah. I'm getting a lot better at it. I can put my phone down and when I'm around people, I have no problem now. I prefer it. I want to interact with people, with human beings and not be influenced by bullshit news and bullshit social media because it's all a lie. None of it's real.

Tina (: 50:09

And really is it any of it that important that you have to answer your phone during a meal? if you're with somebody and you're having a meal, is that not enough? I think it's

Robb (: 50:19

Yeah, no, for sure. And look, if it was, I understand emergencies and then it's worth paying the bill. You if you have little kids or whatever, I get it. But if you look at it, you could look at it and see the top and see who's calling and go, there's no reason to pick it up. You know, generally. Like I could have my phone up and I could go, no, don't need to get it. It's not that important.

There's a small group of people that I would pay for a meal for.

Tina (: 50:51

Yeah, I get you.

Robb (: 50:53

you know, my kid being one.

Tina (: 50:55

get you.

Robb (: 50:56

So 50 minutes in and that show is all done. Look at that. We fly through it today and now we can go enjoy the heat.

Tina (: 50:58

Let's wrap it up. Yay. Yes.

Tina (: 51:08

Yeah, go influence somebody.

Robb (: 51:11

Yeah, I'm gonna go influence my tummy with some chicken. It's a, you can check us out on the Facebook, Instagram X. I'm trying to get better. You can listen to us anywhere for goodness sakes. The places people can hear us now are outlandish. It's Share this show with friends, family.

Tina (: 51:15

There you go. Well, have a good

Robb (: 51:39

and you know just remember they may get offended but have a good time and yeah until next Wednesday that's my co -host over there Tina I'm Rob and it's an opinion show don't get it twisted keep coming back and we'll see you next week talk to you later

Tina (: 51:56

See ya.