EP # 161 8 dates to build a strong connection for long term relationships.

Robb (: 00:01

And welcome to another show of Don't Get This Twisted. I am Rob, along with my co -host as always, back from vacation. Tina, how you doing, Tina?

Tina (: 00:08

I'm good, Rob. It's good to be back, although I didn't mind being gone. It was a good time.

Robb (: 00:13

Yeah, I mean, how hard could it be in Hawaii?

Tina (: 00:17

Yeah, how hard can it be?

Robb (: 00:19

I mean, not to be that dick, but I mean, come on. You know, I totally understand.

Tina (: 00:23

Right? I'm not see -through anymore. I actually got a pretty good tan going on for me.

Robb (: 00:29

You are, you can tell if the, you know, people who don't know this, we live in two different cities. So we video and generally not to be too bad, but me and Tina are generally pretty white. Like we're pretty light skinned. recently I've been, my gym has a tanning bed. So like I'm starting, I'm pretty brownish.

Tina (: 00:32

Yeah.

Tina (: 00:46

Yeah, I'm see -through when I don't have a tan.

Robb (: 00:58

And now Tina, you are brown. You can very much tell.

Tina (: 01:00

Yep. And it's better in person. Like the light makes me look lighter, I don't have, you, but I was going to say I don't have white skin anymore. But when you look at my cheechies or my butt, that's it's very white. So I'm still, I'm still white.

Robb (: 01:06

You look -

Robb (: 01:13

Yeah, same with me. I have a I have a tan. I have a I have tan lines for like the first time in a long time. And so the girl down the street, you we go to the gym together and she was making a joke to me one day. She's like, be careful when you start tanning, not to like, you know, cook your nuts. And she we were talking about it she obviously has no tan lines because she just goes in there naked and I can't do it. So I was joking with her that.

Tina (: 01:20

Yeah.

Robb (: 01:41

You know, I have tan lines. She's like, why? I don't want my nuts to get all burn -dedded. So anyway, speaking of my friend down the street, she had sent me a meme the other day that I thought was quite interesting. It was eight dates you should go on with somebody before you commit. And I think it's like a real commitment. Like these are things that you...

Tina (: 01:47

Yes.

Tina (: 02:03

Right?

Tina (: 02:08

if you're dating with with.

Robb (: 02:10

intent to really go further. And once you're at this level of like, hey, I really am into this person. And I think on either side, that these are the days that you should try to hit before you really go look, I'm, I want to be your boyfriend, or I want you to be my girlfriend, whatever. Because I think that these all hit like, individual things that we all need to know about someone while still having a good time.

Tina (: 02:37

Right.

Robb (: 02:40

Right? Because I think that those are the important things. And there's only eight and I'm sure that we can knock these out within our 45 or 50 minutes that we usually do. The first one, I think, is something that you can pretty much do anyway. Like this, it's a date date. Like you can get away with this being a date. But I agree with how they talk about it because they call it the adventure date.

Tina (: 02:40

with you.

Robb (: 03:10

And it's basically to test teamwork, like hiking or zip lining, where you may end up having to help each other do things or, you know, help each other up rocks or, or definitely things that a team might have to do, which long run is what you're going to end up being as a couple. And, and I...

Tina (: 03:23

Mm -hmm.

Tina (: 03:33

I think I would take the zip lining way over the hiking that just sounds more fun and it would be nice to see how far he would go to do those things with me because I like doing that sort of stuff.

Robb (: 03:38

Yeah

Robb (: 03:45

And I think that that's the flip as well on both of us. Like I would do either. But I think hiking is good as well. As long as it's not one of these like hikes that is going to kill you. you. Yeah, you definitely have to. These these are things that mostly if you're trying to find out, you know, who someone is, I think it's a good medium pace where like it's not, you know, you're not definitely not an expert to do it, but you're not like.

Tina (: 03:59

an extreme hike.

Robb (: 04:14

bored out of your mind. So, but I think that that is kind of like a baseline of being a couple, right? Teamwork is everything and you're going to have to do it on every different level. And as you go through these eight, I think there's teamwork in a lot of them because that's what you're going to end up doing. And I think it shows, you know, from the man point of view, how you are as a leader, like, you know,

Tina (: 04:16

Mm -hmm.

Tina (: 04:22

Yeah, absolutely. Yep.

Tina (: 04:33

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 04:45

being that person that at least, you know, knows where you're at, has a compass, let's say you're hiking, and it's something that isn't on a map or isn't, you know, like an activity, like zip lining is cool because you can go. There's a place out, I wanna say somewhere in the Inland Empire, I saw a thing on Instagram, but it is like a,

adventure place and it has like small zip lines and like things that you can like climb up like tree houses and stuff and it's for adults it's like for us so i think it's more like a similar date idea where you could go and do that kind of thing i just think that you you'll definitely show each other what you're willing to do as a team if you know and and even and again i don't i don't want to sound sexist because

Tina (: 05:21

Hmm.

Tina (: 05:35

absolutely.

Robb (: 05:41

women are like, can, we both do the same thing. like, if you're going up a hill and there's rocks and she happens to go up the that side first, and she turns around and gives me a hand to pull me up, like, I'm going to take that very well. Like, I'm not, I'm not that machismo guy that I have to worry about going, I don't need your help. I think that those are the things that show you long run what who you're dealing with.

Tina (: 06:08

And who your partner is too.

Robb (: 06:10

Yeah, in a dating atmosphere. I think as a number one, I think that's awesome. And obviously you can do these in different orders, but I think that that is always a good baseline of what you're going to do as a couple. What do we got on number two?

Tina (: 06:12

Mm -hmm.

Tina (: 06:25

Yeah.

Tina (: 06:29

Yep. The cultural date music and art see each other's tastes.

Robb (: 06:35

This, I think, is very important if you're into music.

Tina (: 06:40

I have had a lot of cultural dates being native, you know, and people wanting to go to powwows and, and getting to know me and, and such that, that I've had quite a few cultural dates and they always seem really interested. Like they, they're, they're into it way more than I am. I, I'm, there's no novelty with me. I've been to too many, we've done too many cultural events in my culture. And so to me, it's like,

It's just seeing my family. But for them, it's opening their eyes to things that they've never seen before. And I've enjoyed watching through their eyes what they're seeing and how it feels and how important it is and, you know, just everything that goes with it. So I've enjoyed cultural dates for sure. And I do like to go. I'm very artistic, so art shows is kind of my thing.

So I like those kind of dates.

Robb (: 07:44

I agree. So hold on here. I just think that like, in your case for sure, because that is a cultural thing. And I think with dates where you're talking with culture and you're learning someone's culture, mostly if you're both not from the same race or or religion, whatever.

Tina (: 08:04

Yeah.

Tina (: 08:11

Right here.

Robb (: 08:15

Yeah, it's important. And again, I and music, I think music tastes is is is big because I like music. So. If you're in the mostly if you're into like metal or you're going to you're going to learn real quick if the person that you're with is going to be able to take going to shows where people are screaming at the top of their lungs.

Tina (: 08:41

Yeah, I wouldn't dig that to be honest. That wouldn't be my thing. But I'd be like, hey, have a good time. I'll see you when you get home.

Robb (: 08:44

Yeah.

Yeah.

Robb (: 08:52

Yeah, exactly.

Tina (: 08:52

I wouldn't stop a person from it, just don't, I don't need to see. I've been there, done that. I guess I'm good.

Robb (: 08:58

Yeah, yeah exactly and look, it's no different like I'm good with any kind of musics like so I can really go anywhere but taking other people to my shows can be difficult. Yeah, I do.

Tina (: 09:07

Mm -hmm.

Tina (: 09:11

Yeah, you kinda do the extreme concerts.

Tina (: 09:17

So number three is the culinary date, cook with each other and sample food with each other. I definitely am going to do things differently this time because I was married to someone who did not do anything in the kitchen. He would grill if I asked him to, but he didn't want to do that either. And I always felt like I was missing out on having a partner that would cook with me.

I know a lot of people don't like anybody in their kitchen helping, but I find that when you're in there and somebody's chopping, somebody's cooking, it helps the day to go easier. And it's a good time to talk and they're right, sample food and spend time with each other. Maybe have a glass of wine. Not that I do that, but others do. You know, just it's a time to connect when you're cooking.

Robb (: 10:08

Mm

Tina (: 10:13

just like it would be if you were in your grandmother's kitchen, you know, that's when you tell stories and that's when you you open up and you you just are living together because that's a very living thing to do is cooking. So I dig that one.

Robb (: 10:31

I do as well. I like to be in the kitchen and cook. A lot of girls are very, they put up a wall in the kitchen. It's their kitchen. And a lot of times as me, I like to help. So if I can cut things, I'll do that. Now I'm kind of relegate myself to just being the person who does the dishes as they're coming through.

because I find it you're still part of what's going on. I can't sit and watch. I'm really bad at that. Like it's not, it's not good for me. Maybe it's ADD or whatever it is. I have a problem with that. But my friend down the street, that's what I've been doing over there with her. I've been trying to just be the backup and get the dishes done while we're doing it. And then there's like only a few left when it's we're done eating. The one part I like about this,

is the Orgo sample food somewhere. And since I'm not really good at eating, I find it that it's been really good for me to just, now she makes me sample food. It's like, she'll just put stuff in my mouth and go, here, try this, try this, try this. Yeah, so I think that that is also a good thing because you find out what you like to eat together and long run, you have to be able to do it.

Tina (: 11:45

And you should.

Robb (: 11:57

So I think that's good. And I think it can be a lot of fun. Like you said, you end up going someplace and sampling something and you might end up drinks, whatever. And then that turns to conversation.

Tina (: 12:14

Yeah, I also like to try restaurants and try foods that I've never had before. Like everywhere I go, if there's something I have not tried, that's the thing that I will order. Doesn't always work out well for me because sometimes I don't like what I've ordered. But for the most part I do and I like to I like to do that with somebody else. I really do. I've I've gone out with friends where I'm like, okay, let's

Let's try this because I don't know what it is and we'll try. We'll try it. mean, it's sometimes it works out most of the time it works out, I would say. But once in a while, I'm like, yeah, not my favorite thing. But the fact that I did it and we shared it and we talked about it and and kind of broaden our horizons to things that we hadn't tried before. I really appreciate that type of date. You know, I try I try different types of foods all the time, just just to try them.

And that's it's kind of interesting to see. I don't like people that won't try things. I won't date them twice. If they're not the type of person that would just go for it. I don't want to go out to dinner with them. Yeah. Well, we already when we go out, we plan it. It's either tacos or pizza. So we we stay in our lane. That's OK, too. But I like to try.

Robb (: 13:26

that would be me. It's real, I'm really difficult and

Robb (: 13:41

But I think long run that can be very, it becomes boring. So that's why at this ripe age of 50 something that I'm trying to not say no to something. I was there with, I went to go see her and her son last night and we hung out and she, don't know, she threw something in the cooker and just put it on the table. She's like, yeah, try these. All right.

Tina (: 13:46

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 14:10

some doughy thing with cheese and something in it, whatever. So I just, you you have to just say screw it and do something. And since I don't eat a lot of cheese, she's a cheese maniac. So she was telling me like, she's like, I don't know, she's making jokes about dating her. She's like, we could never date because you don't eat cheese. I'm like, wait, that's is that a selling point? But it is. Yeah, no.

Tina (: 14:36

Cheese could be a selling point.

Robb (: 14:39

it's very true because she cooks with a lot of cheese so you have to be able to do it and and like long run i should have been eating a lot of this stuff before and i just wasn't so

Tina (: 14:53

You know, I remember when we were teenagers and I used to say, what do mean you don't drink? I don't, I don't do that. You were firm on that or I don't eat that type of food firm, like firmly on that. And I always thought, well, shame on you because you're missing out on a lot of cool things. So it's, I'm nice to, it's nice to see. I'm happy to see that somebody's got you trying things because I thought you were crazy for years.

Robb (: 15:00

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 15:10

Mm

Robb (: 15:20

Yeah.

Tina (: 15:21

Yeah.

Robb (: 15:23

I mean, yes, I mean, I am on other levels and that says a lot,

Tina (: 15:29

Yeah. Yep, I agree.

Robb (: 15:32

Yep, yep, yep. How about this one?

Tina (: 15:34

Wow, we're already number four.

Robb (: 15:37

I think this one's like, for me, I really like the intellectual date. Engage your mind in maybe like trivia or go to a lecture. I think that this is great because trivia is awesome because you just kind of understand who people are and what they know. Yeah, I'm a history buff. So like for me, I like history. My friend down the street, she's in the medical industry.

Tina (: 15:41

I do too. I do.

Tina (: 15:56

Yeah.

Robb (: 16:06

So she'll be talking about something from work and she'll use this massive word that's like a medical term. like, it's funny because I'll have to tell her, go, look, you have to dumb that down to my level. And then she's like, yeah, I'm sorry. Like, hold on, it's this. I go, okay, cool. And then sometimes she'll say something and I'm, not that it's above me, but like, I'll,

I sometimes I'll go, yeah, I feel kind of stupid sometimes around you. And she's like, don't feel stupid. You don't know. Like, it's no different than this, this or this. And that I know. And she's like, I you. That's a good point. But I think this is a great idea. And I never thought about a lecture, but I think that might even be good to go and listen to someone else talk. So then the date as it after the date, the date after that, or the subsequent.

time after is like a dinner or whatever. Now you have something even more enriching to talk about because you both just listen to the same thing. So I think it's good.

Tina (: 17:11

Mm -hmm.

Tina (: 17:16

I have gone to a couple lectures with a guy just to hear other sides of...

Tina (: 17:26

other sides of an archaeology, archaeology, I can't say no, from an archaeology perspective, the native, was still native, but it was it was it was hearing studies and different things that had gone on with the tribes and, and whatnot. And I hated it. I'm not gonna lie, I had a hard time staying awake. But he really

Robb (: 17:31

archaeologist.

Robb (: 17:37

okay.

Tina (: 17:54

He really enjoyed it. And then afterwards he was able to teach me things about about the culture. And I was kind of cool with that. So was like, you know what? That was not my thing. But I did it. I thought it was I thought it was going to be more for him. It ended up being more for for me because he actually taught me things where I would have slept through it and never talked about it again. But yeah, I was kind of embarrassed that that.

did not interest me at all. But, you know, sometimes that's, that's what's going to happen to you know, not everybody likes the same things and, and I'm and I'm a bad one if I'm, if I'm not engaged, if my brain's not engaged, it just doesn't. It's just not going to be very good for things. Because I'll shut down. But I do like the trivia thing I have.

Robb (: 18:26

Right.

Robb (: 18:46

Yeah.

Tina (: 18:52

I have gone out and done trivia with friends and other people that were with us. Trivia is a lot of fun. When you go to a place, you sit down, you have a beer, and then they just start throwing out all this trivia. I've done really good with that. I enjoy trivia. Yeah, yeah. Pizza parlor, yeah. They do different things.

Robb (: 19:07

Mm

Yeah, like a pub or I think that would be fun. Like a trivia at a pub would be, yeah. I just think that it opens up everyone's minds to like, you find out the useless knowledge we all know because a lot of us have a lot of useless shit and then you will find out the like maybe deeper shit that people know and you're like, wow, like you're pretty damn smart.

Tina (: 19:34

Yeah, there's a bar down here that used to do it and and it was like on a Monday night or some on their off nights, you know, they would when they were quiet, so they would do the trivia thing to get more people to show up. And I used to go and hang out there with a couple of friends that like to drink and I kicked ass on trivia. We even won money one time. So I kind of like doing that. That was that was my that was my thing.

Robb (: 20:03

Yeah, I think that you just end up, you know, finding out smaller things about people because, know, you don't realize that someone knows about, you know, whatever cooking bread. And then the next thing you know, you're like, like, you know that stuff. It's like. I don't know. Just.

Tina (: 20:12

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 20:28

I think you find the smaller things in people and those are to me like the most important ones. Yeah, exactly. yeah. The next one is I think a really good one if you...

Tina (: 20:34

the details. Yeah.

Robb (: 20:53

I say this without, I don't wanna mess it up. But I'm thinking like, if, you know, it's a voluntary one. And I think that, you know, a voluntary date so you can see each other's compassionate side while helping others. I think this is a really, really good one for a lot of different ages as well. Because I think...

Tina (: 20:57

Just say it.

Robb (: 21:20

for us, I think it just shows your compassionate side and who you are as a person and how you're going to deal with each other and then subsequently children, grandchildren, whatever. If you're young, if you're young or younger and you're thinking about this might be the person that you want to have children with, then you're going to see how they're going to deal with

maybe your your children, you know what I mean? Like how they're going to deal with them, how they they their empathy is how they're who if you're dealing with somebody that could get Riley or up and up in arms or there's kids there, you're going to see how they deal with them in that way as well. So and if you're dating someone who's religious and you're going to maybe.

volunteer at the church or volunteer with the homeless. I think it shows you who they are as a human being. So.

Tina (: 22:22

Mm -hmm. I have a thing for a man with a child. Like, I...

Robb (: 22:26

Mm

Tina (: 22:32

Look for men that will that will go out of their way like come over here link I got this for you or or hey I'll draw with you or or throw a ball with you or get in the pool with you like I noticed that I am very attracted to a man that'll pick up a baby and just start loving on it it does something to my old ovaries I can't tell you what it is but

when when I see that and it does not matter what the man looks like or what he's wearing or how good he smells if he grabs a baby and is holding the baby and he's not weird with the baby, but just really like just loving and and Engaging with that child. He'll get my pants off faster than anything. I'm pretty sure pretty sure

Robb (: 23:14

Fatherly.

Robb (: 23:19

It's, and I think the flip side of that is for men who are ready for that, it's the same. I love someone who's a good mom because I am a single dad. So when I see that, and even today, or even when he was a little younger, but even now.

Tina (: 23:29

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 23:46

You know, to see someone treat my my son like they're theirs is very much a turn on. It's like, you give a shit because you also have kids and you are treating my son like he's close. And there is something to that.

Tina (: 24:01

Mm -hmm. For sure. My ex told me that he realized he was in love with me when he saw how I was with the kids He he said for some reason That's when I fell in love with you because you you loved them and it brought out my best side I loved them. I hugged on them. I kissed on him. I I talked to them. He said he used to watch me with it with my

Godson or my daughter the neighbor kid and he said it it was such an enduring thing to see you just love on them and it wasn't for any other reason other than that was just your interaction with them and and He he said that to several people he he said I fell in love with her from seeing how she was with the kids and I guess At one point his his friend was really being abusive

Verbally to a child to the point where a ten -year I think he was ten or twelve. I'll say ten He was he peed his pants because the guy had him so scared Well, I came unglued and went at him like I was gonna fight a man because he went after this kid the way he did and I was losing my shit and my ex had to hold me back and I was screaming and trying to get at this guy because he was He was not nice to this kid. He made the kid pee his pants and it

pissed me off and and as as nervous as everybody was because they thought I was going to get in a fight with a man after it was all said and done my ex sat there and laughed and said this woman will not let anything happen to a child and he he was turned on by that he was attracted to that so yeah they got to see me in action that's for sure but and the flip side is when a man is

Is is being kind to a child and and interacting and putting time in whether it's his or not I find that very attractive and I and I will say something because i'm not opposed to going Did you look sexy doing that or my god? Yeah, I I will make a man feel embarrassed by the what I say, but it's true It's what i'm saying is not a lie. It's You are attractive to me. I do like what you're doing that

Tina (: 26:25

It is a turn on and we all know I say inappropriate things most of the time anyway, so it's not a big deal, they're kind of pre -worn before I get to that. But I.

Robb (: 26:31

Yeah.

Robb (: 26:35

And I think that that is part of like what we're talking about, like the volunteering side. Even if you're volunteering to help at a play yard or whatever it is, that you're showing an empathetic, compassionate side of dealing with other people. And again, parenting is doing that. If you're helping the homeless feed somebody, whatever it is, it shows who you are as a person. And I think that you can learn a lot from somebody

volunteering and you know and generally some of and some of that things too that date could be where you're both not even helping do the same thing you're seeing each other from afar and you're you know seeing each other in passing while you know helping and i just think that that's a good sign of who you're who you're going to end up with is how they deal with in that situation

Tina (: 27:15

Mm -hmm.

Tina (: 27:30

I remember I used to work for the food bank and we used to take food out on Saturday mornings to the homeless and there was a man who was much older than me because I did this in my really early 20s he was probably double my age easily and he he went out of his way to talk to people that nobody really wanted to deal with and he would bring shoes and different things that he had to

to particular people that he had talked to and knew that they needed certain things. And so he found a way, if his, you know, his kids had shoes they weren't wearing, which was often because he said his kids were privileged, he would bring them out there and give them to the homeless. Or if he if somebody gave him extra blankets or towels or or whatever it was, he would he would bring it out alongside of feeding everybody.

and he would pass out what he had and I always thought what a nice man to to care that much about whether people had deodorants or or shoes or socks. I remember one time he took his shirt off because this man was strung out on something and he was wearing like a little tennis skirt, like just a tennis skirt. This man and and the man that I'm speaking of, he took off his t -shirt.

and gave it to the man so that the man was covered, you know, because it was it was a really sunny day and he had to wear like just his undershirt and he didn't he didn't even talk about it. He never said anything. He took off a shirt. He handed it to the guy. The guy put it on, gave him a hug and the guy was just so sincere. I really I was attracted to that. I'm not going to lie. I wish it had been a date because, oof, he was kind of sexy.

Robb (: 29:18

Yeah.

Robb (: 29:24

Tina, here's what's number six? I'll let you read number six.

Tina (: 29:34

Number six is relaxing dates see each other unwind at a spa or at the beach

Robb (: 29:43

I think this is a super good idea date.

Tina (: 29:47

I could never get guys to go to the spa or to get their nails done. And I think that that's sexy too.

Robb (: 29:53

I that look, if my friend down the street, and I'll just throw her in here because I'm always talking about her anyway, she is a mover. She never ever sits still. She reminds me a lot of how my mom was.

Tina (: 30:07

No.

Tina (: 30:13

huh.

Robb (: 30:15

My mom was like a cleaner and had OCD and would never, never stop. And I made a joke that she was probably, you know, the night she died, she probably cleaned the house before she went to bed. That's just who she was. So I was talking to her about this. go, it would be interesting to go to a spa with her because you have to relax. The whole point of that is to go and.

Tina (: 30:27

He

Robb (: 30:39

To me, I like I, since I always see her just in constant motion all the time, I got her to sit down for a little while yesterday, which was kind of interesting. But, you know, that's just who she is. So to go and like, you know, mostly if you're doing a couples one where you like both in the same room and they're going to massage you together and you can talk and like do things while you're in there, I think is a is a great thing. If not, even if you're doing them separate and then you meet up after the the massage session.

To see everyone kind of relaxed and you're not in a hurry to go and you know, if you're, if you go to the ones, even if it's a spa that's at a hotel that you're vacationing at or whatever it is, to have that wind down and to see someone at their absolute relaxed state, I think is good because we don't live in a relaxed state.

Tina (: 31:12

Yeah.

Tina (: 31:37

No, not at all.

Robb (: 31:38

We're always moving. We're always going to work. We're always checking on the kids. We're always cooking dinner. We're always doing something. And I think as a couple, you have to find that small bit of relaxation every single day. So if it's cutting off the phone at a certain time and putting them on the nightstand and

Tina (: 31:45

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 32:06

talking with each other only and you know, having a little music on or whatever it is. I think it's important to do every single day. But this type of date I think is great to actually because look, when you go get a massage and then afterwards you are spent. You are like jello generally and you're like everyone's just kind of like, yeah, this is nice. You relax and like there's no, there's no,

Tina (: 32:25

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 32:37

I guess hurry that there's no hurry to do anything afterwards. You're still in that state of, you know, I don't want to say ecstasy, but you know, that kind of floating state. So to see somebody like that, or if you're a beach person, to just get an umbrella, a couple of chairs, you know, watch the ocean, have the breeze hit you, that is another kind of relaxation state.

I'm not a huge fan of the ocean. We were talking about it before we got on, but I love to sit at the beach and just kind of chill because there is something about the breeze and the hearing the ocean and hearing kids play and whatever it is around you that is that.

Tina (: 33:12

Yeah.

Robb (: 33:23

that gets you to that thing. And I'm a sunset or sunrise person, so I think there's nothing like chilling all day and then you get to go and hold hands and watch the sunset and then wrap your day up.

Tina (: 33:36

I don't normally stay for sunsets if I'm at the beach all day.

Robb (: 33:39

Yeah, I prefer to do them like a late afternoon day, like start go there at like one o 'clock. I mean, I didn't live too far from the beach in Camarillo, so it was, you know, when the beach is only a 20 minute drive, it makes things a lot easier to go and and I would go photograph the sunset. So for me, that's another thing I would go. And if I saw clouds in the sky and I knew it was going to be kind of a.

Tina (: 33:53

Yeah.

Tina (: 33:58

No,

Robb (: 34:09

pretty year sunset, I would go and just hang out at the beach and wait for it to come down and go take pictures and get my car and drive back home. Yeah. But I think that that is, that's a good date. Cause you get to see each other. Both. the beach or the spa. think they're just good. They're generally, you know, things where there's no hurry. There's no...

Tina (: 34:15

Nice.

Tina (: 34:22

Beach is always a good day.

Robb (: 34:34

There's no payoff. You're not worried about anything. It's just, let's go do this. And like breakfast in the spa. I think that would be a a great day. You go and have breakfast in the morning and you go to the spa in the afternoon and then you're done. So.

Tina (: 34:50

I've gone to Glen Ivy and Glen Ivy is like a full salon. Like you don't just get massaged. You could go in the grotto. You could sit in a sulfur pool. You could get painted with all kinds of crazy stuff that that they use for your skin or to detox. They wrap your body in kelp. There's all kinds of things they do. And I did have I had a date when I was married with my ex. We went out and did that.

Robb (: 35:05

Mm

Tina (: 35:20

That was a lot of fun because we could be close to each other. We enjoyed each other's company. We got massaged. We went and got painted and went through all the mud treatments and different things. that day, and then we had to stay the night out there because it was too far to drive home after having all that done. So we got a really cool room and it was a nice time. And it's one of the times that I

that does stand out in my head of a good time that we had together was when we went to the spa. So I'm all for that.

Robb (: 35:58

Yeah, I think it's a great, that's just again, a nice fun date. then you can talk about it afterwards. Like I said, there's always, and there's no, to me it's just, and it's a good daytime date if you wanna do a day date, right? Like I said, breakfast and then a day date is good.

Here's one I think that is probably one of the most important things on this list, hands down, without for sure, is an all day date. Spend all day together, get an idea of prolonged companionship. Look, it's easy to go on a two hour date. It's not easy to hang out with somebody all day long.

Tina (: 36:45

Well, it is if you have chemistry. I find that, like, if I'm having a good time, I don't want somebody to leave. Or I don't want to be taken home.

Robb (: 36:51

No, I agree. But what I'm saying is, is this is a good measuring stick for wanting to be around someone full time in a very committed relationship. If you can, and look, I'm not saying that you should do all day dates for, you know, five days. I'm not, you know, that comes with the relationship as it grows. But I think, you know, trying to do like, I would go like, okay, pick.

Tina (: 37:11

Mm

Robb (: 37:20

Pick her up in the morning. Let's say we were gonna go to San Diego, where my friend lives. Pick her up, go have a light breakfast, drive to San Diego, hang out with my friend and his wife, do something there. Maybe go into San Diego and do something together. And then from there, you know, do your drive home and then literally have like a dinner and a nightcap maybe. And then go home.

you know, or whatever that is. a very, to be with somebody for 12, 13 hours in a day, I think is an important thing because you're literally going to understand the person that you're with because you might have a couple ups and downs during that or something might happen or, you know, whatever it is that when you're in that kind of thing, I think it's a very important date.

Tina (: 38:15

Yeah, I don't have problems with those dates at all. Actually, I enjoy them because there is continuity and you do get to see the person throughout the day at different levels. my gosh, do you hear that? I don't know if they're going to hear this at home, but apparently the gardener wants to show up at 11 o 'clock on a Sunday morning and it's rather loud outside my window. I'm so sorry.

Robb (: 38:19

I don't either. Yeah.

Robb (: 38:29

I do.

Robb (: 38:37

Yeah.

Robb (: 38:42

But yeah, I do I do agree with you that that I like these type of dates I can hang out with people all day long, but I can also like it doesn't even have to be like something to do I could go over and You know have breakfast watch movies and literally sit on the couch and be just as content Because I like people's company. It doesn't have to be some set thing, but I think an all -day thing is

Tina (: 38:48

Yeah.

Tina (: 38:59

Yeah.

Tina (: 39:06

Right.

Robb (: 39:10

You definitely learn who someone is and the smaller things of like, hey, we've been here all day. I'm kind of tired. Can I nap? And if you can be okay with the person that you want to spend every waking moment with to be able to roll over and go, look, I'm just...

Tina (: 39:20

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 39:30

You know, that doesn't bother me. I can sit on the couch while my girl naps and be content as well because I'm in the same room and I know she's safe and whatever, you know, all these other things that come up in that looking for companionship long -term thing. So I think that that's a very, very important date that everyone should do. Literally hang out with somebody all day long.

Tina (: 39:36

You should be.

Tina (: 39:57

I'm with you on that. I like those ones. I'm sorry?

Robb (: 39:59

All right, we're at number eight.

We're at number eight. We're at the last one.

Tina (: 40:04

Number eight is a real life date. Tackle everyday tasks together to get a glimpse of a future life.

Robb (: 40:14

Yeah, I look, if you're in a relationship with somebody or you're building one real life things like I like, I like to help people and I like to go do things. So I volunteered with my friend to go she she's looking to clean out her garage and we can't do it right now because it's a bazillion degrees out. But that's an everyday task. That's something that

as a couple, you're going to have to do together. And it's it kind of shows it goes back to number one with teamwork. Because you may argue during these everyday tasks on how to get them done or both have ideas. And I think you have to be able to work through those type of ideas of going, hey, what do think about doing it this way? Or doing it this way or doing it this way? You're going to learn

the person's idiosyncrasies and how they deal with one person having a different idea and how you get to the, you know what, both of our ideas are good, let's go with yours. And that's gonna happen. And everyday tasks as simple as.

Tina (: 41:23

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 41:36

hey, making sure that we're wiping off the kitchen table because we had a snack. Like those are real life things that long, long term are the probably the most important things. Cause it's, if I would happen to be at someone's house early or late and I want to brush my teeth and it's not my place, I better make sure that I'm leaving it the way it was when I was before.

Tina (: 42:04

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 42:04

You know, and that's important. These are important things as humans and what we do to make sure that we're going to be able to have a long -term, you know, healthy relationship with somebody and get a glimpse of what the future is going to be five years from now, 10 years from now. Look, we all do things differently. And some...

Tina (: 42:23

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 42:32

some things are important to some people and not to others. I went into her garage and I looked and she has some plywood that is going across the beams because they were storing stuff on top of it.

they're starting to kind of bend a bow a little bit. And in my head, the first thing I was like, hey, when we take this down, I want to screw those into the wood, because they don't look like they're screwed down or, and she's like, okay. And I was like, okay, cool. And those are the type of things that I think are everyday things that you have to do. Those tasks will help each other as a couple going forward. So these eight dates,

Tina (: 43:08

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 43:13

she sent me a meme that actually had these on there and it was kind of, these are the eight things that you should probably try to do before you really, really commit. So this isn't something that you should do for your first eight dates. This is something you do when you're like, I want this person to be my girlfriend or I see this person as being my husband long run. I think these eight things are good stepping stones to

Tina (: 43:36

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 43:42

knowing that you can be in a healthy relationship with the person that you're with.

Tina (: 43:47

Well, it should definitely give you some idea. mean, anybody could be great on all of these dates and still be somebody you shouldn't date, but it does give you some sort of insight on who they are as a person and how they deal with things. Because not all the dates are easy to do.

Robb (: 43:49

Mm

Robb (: 43:56

Correct.

Robb (: 44:05

Mm

Robb (: 44:08

No, I think that if you can get through these eight dates, not unscathed, but knowing the person that you're trying to be with, it's definitely going to help you along the way. But like you said, you can skate through these eight date ideas and be gold and still be a monster. Like, I'm not trying to say that for sure.

Tina (: 44:23

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 44:35

because people can be narcissistic pricks and act the way they want to. I think these eight dates though will

without sounding horrible, they're good landmines, right? That you're going to see at some point.

a side of somebody that you're going to go, ooh, or you're going to go, wow, that's, that's how I would have handled it. That's good. This is going to be a good teamwork. This is going to be she's going to be able to to help me with everyday tasks. He's going to be able to go to the spa and lay on a table and relax because he's always stressed out at work and he's always stressed out. And maybe we need this or and again.

These things will lead to other good things, I think. If you can relax at the spa, you're more likely to let your significant other give you a massage at home. Because that is something that you're now, it's okay to relax. You know, these things will just lead to better long term things. Maybe she'll let me cut the onion in the kitchen now.

Tina (: 45:35

Mm -hmm.

Robb (: 45:51

because she trusts me to do it like she does it. Or I go out with...

Tina (: 45:57

Yeah. But I think that the fun part about cooking is seeing the differences. Like I do it this way, but somebody may do it that way. I like, I like to see how other people do things because they may teach me a thing or two. So I like the differences in the kitchen. I'm okay with that.

Robb (: 46:08

Mm

Robb (: 46:17

Yeah, I think that these are the things that there are, like I said, they're stepping stones to understanding the person that you're with. know, are there probably another eight other date ideas that we could come up with that for sure? I just thought that these eight were hit a lot of different things that are important to a lot of people. And I think that

Tina (: 46:30

There absolutely are.

Tina (: 46:41

Mm -hmm, absolutely.

Robb (: 46:45

You know, after listening to this, I'd love to hear another eight ideas because there sure will be more. I just love the idea. Yeah, for sure, because the and look, we should probably bring other people on. We you know, we keep talking about it we haven't done it. I think I think the girl down the street will come on. Yeah, I think that that's probably a go.

Tina (: 46:51

There's a lot on Instagram, when I find them I'll send them to you.

Tina (: 47:07

yeah?

Robb (: 47:14

She talks very highly of you, Miss Tina, because she loves your confidence. so I think that even if it's not with me on the show, maybe I'll come and produce and maybe I can have her sit in the chair here and you guys can do a topic. I think that would be a fun.

Tina (: 47:17

Well, thank you.

Tina (: 47:22

Thank you.

Robb (: 47:33

a fun little thing. So, but you know, bring ideas like this on and we'll we'll start thinking about bringing more people on here again and talking because look, there's so many good ideas out there for life. And we try to bring them to you. So. All right, 48 minutes in, we're going to let you get back to trying to adjust to the time change.

Tina (: 47:35

Nice.

Tina (: 47:49

Absolutely.

Tina (: 47:57

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Robb (: 47:59

I'm gonna go check on my son who I think is somewhere out there clicking around. yeah, and make sure you check us out on socials, Instagram, X, so you can see when the show gets updated. Also check us out on Apple, Spotify, pretty much anywhere you can listen to podcasts, because we're everywhere. And any last words, Miss Tina?

Tina (: 48:04

I think it's breakfast time for me.

Tina (: 48:27

Just be kind to yourselves. I'm noticing people are really going through some struggles right now and it's okay to be okay.

Robb (: 48:36

Groovy. We'll leave it at that. And yeah, it's an opinion show. Don't get it twisted. Keep coming back every Wednesday. For my cohost Tina, I'm Rob and we'll see you in a week. Bye.

Tina (: 48:47

See ya.