Episode 162
EP # 162 Exploring Generational Differences in Family Dynamics.
Welcome back to Dont get this Twisted
The conversation explores generational differences in various aspects of life, including family dynamics, parenting styles, work ethic, and technology usage. The hosts discuss how the tight family bonds of previous generations have changed, with fewer people knowing or having contact with their grandparents. They also talk about the shift in parenting styles and the higher expectations placed on children. The conversation touches on the importance of driving and the freedom it provides, as well as the impact of technology on social interactions and manners. Overall, the conversation highlights the significant differences between past and present generations. The conversation explores the generational differences and social divide caused by technology and changing societal norms. The hosts discuss the decline in handwritten communication, the lack of courtesy in driving, and the fear of social interaction. They highlight the importance of strong relationships, communication skills, and the need for balance between independence and interdependence. They also touch on the negative impact of social media and the need for real-life connections. The conversation concludes with a call to change these generational curses and promote healthier social dynamics.
Explicit
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Transcript
And welcome to another show. Don't get this twisted. I am Rob along with my co -host as always Tina. How you doing Tina?
Tina (:I'm doing all right. It's back to hot again. So I was outside kind of sweating. I'm getting ready to sell my baskets at a powwow. And so I'm outside every day basket weaving and it's kind of hot to be doing that right now. Yeah. Yeah. But with
Robb (:Yes.
Robb (:Yeah, it's pretty warm. That is definitely for sure. Supposedly, it's supposed to get cooler by the weekend. nevermind. That's changed. It's supposed to be cool, high 80s on Thursday and Friday and then back to the 90s on the weekend. Of course. Yes, it's a very long weekend for me. I have Friday off as well. Yeah, so I get a four -day air. It's gonna be...
Tina (:We will see.
You
Tina (:It is a long weekend.
Tina (:nice.
Robb (:And not that I'm doing anything, but I don't wanna lose vacation. So I'm taking time off. I'm just, I'm taking a day off because if I don't take it, I max my vacation out and I refuse to give my company free money. So I take it regardless. Alrighty, it's up to you this week because you said you wanted to talk about something. So I was like, yeah, let's do it.
Tina (:You're doing a staycation?
Tina (:I get you. I get you. Right on.
Tina (:Yeah, you know, I was I was driving the other day and I was thinking about how it used to be because I've been driving for a long time now and like a long time now and I was thinking about how the traffic used to be when we were younger and then I was at the grocery store and I was hearing conversations and I was like thinking about how different people were when we were younger and how
people's work ethic was different than it seems to be now. And I mean, parenting styles, stupid, crazy different than it used to be. Yeah, so I thought we would talk about like the differences and we could start off with family. I've noticed that people don't take care of their grandparents or even have contact with them or even live in the same state as them. And when I was growing up, I grew up with
Robb (:Totally.
Tina (:with my grandparents being around all the time, like all the time. So I find it interesting that people don't even know their grandparents. I've been talking to people that said they've never even met them for whatever reason. They just are and in their 20s and don't know their grandparents. They're still alive and you don't know them? What the hell is going on with that? I don't know. I thought we would talk about like the differences in between.
when we were younger versus now and see the contrast, generational differences, yeah, for sure.
Robb (:the generational differences.
because I think our parents grew up in probably one of the most tightest family bonds ever. The 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, that era was very, very family influenced.
Tina (:Yes.
Tina (:Mm -hmm.
Robb (:So, and that also goes to what you're talking about with, you know, how we drove, how we raised our kids, how these are all generational differences that I think really probably started manipulated in the 60s with the hippie generation. That things probably started changing, not.
Tina (:Yeah, maybe. Change, really change, because women didn't, they weren't able to vote, they weren't able to own land, they weren't able to even rent a house. Until like, I think it was the 80s that that started changing because there was all these single mothers. But before that, you couldn't even do those things. And we've talked about that before. Or,
Robb (:Right. Yeah, but I think that the generational differences though on just how you were taught the morality clause was way different than like, you know, even though things were still going on, I still think that, like, I'll give you an example of the difference pre marital sex then was very, very frowned upon. And if like, if you got pregnant as a teenager, they sent you away.
Tina (:yeah.
Absolutely.
Tina (:Yes, absolutely. They said you away, you had your kid, it was given to an aunt or somebody, you know, a friend from church or whatever. Like it was, it seemed like adoptions were, somebody knew somebody and that's how the kids were taken and raised by other people. Like then the person, the kid that had the baby.
Robb (:And
Robb (:Grandma, huh?
Robb (:Mm
Tina (:would just go back to life as if they were at school at another school or they were doing something different, not having a child, that's for sure.
Robb (:Yeah, and so like these things were, I think just tapered down a lot less, obviously. I just think people were a tad bit more scared. They were taught differently that, look, you wait until you're at least 18. I mean, it was a different time. Now...
Tina (:Yes.
Tina (:Well, we were taught abstinence in school. We were taught just don't do it. And I remember, you know, I got the whole, the talk from both my mom and my dad, because my mom told me to tell her when I wanted to start having sex, because she was going to have me put on birth control because she didn't want any unplanned pregnancies. So when it was time, I told my mom and I told my mom, please don't tell my dad, which of course she went right in and told my dad. And then I got
Robb (:Correct.
Tina (:not one, but two long conversations about the responsibilities of sex and how you should act and who you should pick. you know, they pretty much gave me the rundown. And, you know, then my mom took me to Planned Parenthood and I got put on the pill. And then we had to go to the pharmacy and get condoms. And at the time it was sponges. Like she was big on you are not getting pregnant.
And probably one of the reasons that she did was she didn't like my boyfriend at the time. So she was going to make sure that there was not an extra one of him running around her house. But but yeah, like it was a big deal. And now I notice, like in talking to to like other kids, like my friends, kids and stuff, they don't even tell their parents anything. And they don't get on the pill. And as a matter of fact, they don't even really see.
Robb (:Make sense?
Robb (:Mm -mm.
Tina (:they're significant other because one, they don't drive, two, they're talking to somebody that they've never met on a gaming system, or three, they just, they're socially awkward. Like kids are really awkward with each other now and they'll sit around the table and everybody will be on their phone and they're laughing and they're showing each other their phones, they're talking to each other, but they're not interacting and I just find that so.
weird because when kids were around us when we were younger it was like go outside and play go outside and play together and you know we don't want to see or hear from you until you know the lights come on outside you know and i think these kids now they don't even get off the couches
Robb (:Right.
Robb (:No, well, and again, think we're like we're Gen X. So we were, you know, we were latch key kids. We were, you know, we we played until I mean, we played until the lights came on and then went home and tried to get another 35 minutes out of it. Like we were bartering with our, know, and we'd ride our bikes, you know, miles away from home while parents were at work in the summertime. And. Not a clue, not a clue.
Tina (:Right?
Tina (:Yeah, for sure.
Tina (:Yes, they didn't know where we were at all. And I don't think they wanted to know.
Robb (:I mean, look, probably not. I mean, again, much different generation, but I also think that like, look, we were trusted probably more. There was a lot of single parents, you know, in the eighties, I came from one, my dad was a single parent and he raised me and look, I mean, he had to go to work. He was gone from seven to four, like every day. So.
Tina (:you
Tina (:Mm -hmm.
Robb (:I mean, in the summertime, once I was a teenager, there was like a roll of quarters and the laundry baskets were out and there was a note with a list, get this shit done before I get home. And I didn't have a choice. It wasn't like, hey, I'll do one or two of these and we'll see what happens. It was get them done because that's how we were taught to do these things. I think...
Tina (:Nice.
Tina (:absolutely.
Robb (:Look and I'm just as guilty. I think that we just let the next generation off easy because we were trying to be the cool parent or make sure that they you know Some things, you know got done easier for them and and some things were just like we were I think I did a lot of that with my son like I would definitely Give him a little leeway, but I was hard on him on other stuff. So
Tina (:Mm -hmm.
Robb (:You know, some things come to pass. I wish I would have done a few things differently, but that's just because I didn't want to be like my dad. So.
Tina (:Yeah. See, I raised my daughter exactly the way that I was raised. Not the way that my brother was raised, because he was raised differently and not raised differently than than other kids that grew up in our house. Like I was held to a higher standard because everybody just had to deal with my mom when they lived here. But I had to deal with my dad and the expectations that my dad had on me was way different than the ones that my mom had.
on all the other kids. But when I had my daughter, I found that I raised her the way I personally was raised. And that was very different. And I was setting a high standard because I wanted her to succeed. And she did succeed. I mean, she she did just fine. And I believe that part of the reason was because I was strict. Like, I didn't give my kid a phone until she was like 13. And when I did, she could call.
people and it was to make sure she could get home or that everybody knew where she was she could you know, somebody was there for her She didn't sit on her phone. She didn't play Video games all day and night. I gave her an hour straight from when we got home from school She and I would normally play together and then it was like alright time for you to read time for you to do your homework time for you to To take care of business, you know, whatever we were doing it had to be done and there was no room for
her giving me any chaos about it. She just did it. We had a good relationship and it worked, you know, but she was held to a very high standard that that not other kids had to deal with when I was raising her. They were all the same age, but I had a different standard for her. And because of that, she went further than the other kids did. So I kind of said, well, mom was right and dad was right. And so was I. So
You know, she may not have liked it. know she didn't like it, but at the same token, she was lucky that she had a family because she did not come from either one of us. And, and she was raised as if it was my child. So she was fortunate that, that we loved and cared for her to that degree, but it was not, it was not easy for her. And she would say that she was, you know, I don't know, abused or
Robb (:Right.
Tina (:She had to do too much or the expectations were too high. But the problem is that she gave herself most of the expectations. She set the bar. And then I was like, all right, that's your, you know, that's the standard now. So it's funny that I get blamed for that. But she did it herself. You know, she set her own bar. And then once she said it, I was like, all right, now you got to meet that because that's how life is.
But we also had, she also had grandparents around her. She had uncles and cousins and friends of the family. you know, we, my family, my, my circle is, is rather large. I have a lot of family and I'm blessed with some really good friends that I've kept for years and years and years and they've not gone anywhere. So she was fortunate that she had a village helping raise her where you look at kids now and they don't have that.
Robb (:No, their friends are their village.
Tina (:You know, they're lucky if they got both of their parents doing what needs to be done.
Robb (:Yeah, I think and I think with social media now everyone leans on each other so they they don't like the kids are their own village, which you know is like Letting the wolf into the chicken farm like sure you might get some good input, but What do you think you're gonna get long run? you know what I mean, I I just think that it's a Family generally
Tina (:Mm -hmm.
Robb (:is a great place to start with anything. Even like for kids, it was always my cousins, right? I'd lean into my cousins because, you know, my uncles were my dad's brother. So they were very similar in how they raised each other. So, but I think that the differences are just, there's too much electronic and.
Tina (:Mm -hmm.
Robb (:electronic things in a way to get you away from doing anything. When I would take my son to holiday things, he would just sit on his phone as well. I'd have to tell him to stop. Say, dude, we're here. Talk, be part of. And it's hard for them because it's like the electric leash. Right.
Tina (:Yeah.
Tina (:Yeah. And nobody's social anymore. You know, you even talk to or you say thank you to a waitress and it's of course. No, it's not. Of course, it's you're welcome. You live. This isn't this is polite. This isn't well, this is my job. You know, you don't say that to people when they say thank you go. This is my job. You know, you say you're welcome. You show you show some sort of kindness and
Robb (:Right. Yeah.
Robb (:Yeah, exactly.
Tina (:manners and thoughtfulness, you know, and that's gone out the window now. I talk with my friends when we go to restaurants and we have a young waiter or waitress, they're horrible at people skills. And I think how do they do this? But yet now they've raised since COVID they rave, they've raised tips from it used to be 15 % was you're doing great as a waiter or waitress. Now it's
Robb (:Mm
Tina (:18 22 and 25 percent that they're trying to get out of us for then I'm like you guys don't even have a personality to get that
Robb (:Right. Yeah. Well, and any place you go now has a little screen that says, you want to give a tip?
Tina (:yeah, you could buy a coffee and do you want to tip them or, know, do you they make your your fast food and you could tip? No, no. That's for serving. That's for that's for picking up. That's for cleaning up after that's not for going through a drive through or going through like, you know. Yes.
Robb (:Yeah. Yeah.
Robb (:Correct.
Robb (:Yeah, it's for a service. Yeah, that's a service thing. But I mean, look, I think, you know, like any generation, we've we've picked up the bad habits. I just think that we're better at maybe toning them because, know, we talked together. Well, I forgot what show, but, you're talking about going to the restaurant and everyone puts their phone down.
Tina (:Yes.
Robb (:I went and visited my friend down the street the other night and I had my charger with me. I plugged my phone in to charge it and I never picked it up the rest of the night. It was awesome. I love hanging out with her because it's...
Tina (:what you're supposed to do.
Robb (:It's a lot of talking and a lot of social skills and her son's there or her daughter's there or whatever. Like there's always some kind of social activity or we'll sit and watch a movie and it's just watching a movie. Like everything's kind of chill. She she can she stays on her phone a little bit more. I put it down because I don't I like the disappear. I want to get away from having the electric leash in my hand. I would prefer
Tina (:Mm
Robb (:everyone put their damn phone down and talk. It's amazing. But you know, these are the generational differences that we're talking about, right? We end up seeing, I mean, look, technology is going to change. It's no different than like you're talking about driving or, you know, the generational difference in driving, I think mostly where we live in California is just there's a million more people. that's for, without a doubt.
Tina (:and kids don't want to drive.
Nobody nobody in their early 20s is driving these days and I was I was 15 and a half and I was like, my god Can I do it now? Can I do it now? Can I do it now and drove my parents crazy until they let me but now it's like The parents are going you need to drive you need to drive you need to get a job You need to do this. You need to do that and the kids are like, huh? Why why do I need that when you take me everywhere? I want to go and that's the truth cuz all through school whatever they were in you were driving them around
Robb (:Mm
Robb (:I don't want to Yeah. Yeah.
Robb (:Mm
Tina (:And so they have the expectation that everything's gonna be done for them. And that doesn't help the cause.
Robb (:No, and you my kid had a car before, before he ever got his license because at one point I had gotten an inexpensive car for my dad. So I was lucky enough that I never needed to trade it in. So I kept it for him. As soon as he could get, he waited until he was 18 years old because he didn't want to do the, have to drive with somebody or I can't take my friends or whatever. So 18th birthday.
Two days, as soon as he turned 18, I got a driver's, like a three day course here where I live.
He drove for three days, like long, long times, like four or five hours at a time, just driving through the city where I live. The last day was the freeway day, and it happened to be raining on that day. So poor guy, and driving the rain most of the day, and then get on the freeway, first time ever on the freeway, raining like cats and dogs. Yeah, I don't like to do it now, but...
Tina (:you
Tina (:in the rain.
I don't like to do that. Yeah.
Robb (:But here's the other thing. So as soon as he did that three day course, we knew he was gonna, I thought he was gonna pass through it and get through it fine. We had already scheduled an appointment. The only appointment was in Simi Valley. That was like right around the corner. So that day, got up, his friend drove him to Simi in his car. He took the test.
and then came home and passed it. But here's the thing that a lot of his friends still, they're 21, 22, don't have their license. And he keeps trying to tell them now, like, what are you doing? Like, you're really missing out. And he even tells, yeah, because he was like, you don't understand the freedom you have once you get a car.
Tina (:Wow.
Tina (:Absolutely.
Robb (:And my boy does. He loves it. Like if he wants to drive two and a half hours to go see somebody, he does. He just gets in his car and drives. And I mean, his 21st birthday, he was like, I want to go to Vegas. And they went to Vegas, him and his buddy. And and I like that it. Freedom is and that's why we wanted it. You know what I mean? Like we knew.
Tina (:Mm -hmm.
Tina (:Nice.
Tina (:Absolutely.
Robb (:But I think our generation too, like if you had older friends, like there were some guys that lived around me that were like a year or two older. So they had cars. So me and my buddies that didn't, we would always go cruising with them. So we learned early, like if you have a car.
Tina (:Right?
Robb (:You can go anywhere. And, you know, and at that time we would like cruise over there off of like, Zell's, and you know, where the Bob's big boy used to be right there. Like, you know, we'd go over there and hang out at Bob's or Denny's or, know, wherever we could go to just sit around and bullshit and get a, you know, a Coke or in a thing of fries. Cause we were all broke, but that was fun. like, but you're right. I think now.
Tina (:Mm.
Tina (:Mm -hmm.
Tina (:and
Robb (:they're way less likely to want to get a license. And I think until you get one and you get that first freedom and you're like, I can just drive to wherever. And the next thing you know, you're at the beach and you're like, yeah, this is what life is really about.
Tina (:Exactly. No, my mom always referred to having a car as freedom. That's your freedom. Take care of your freedom. Keep your freedom. Hold on to your freedom. She'd always say, like, you know, don't be screwing around in the car. Take care of it. Don't get an accident so that you could always just pick up and go. And that's that's literally what I learned from her is that that was freedom. And and truly it is because I'm I'm a driver. I drive everywhere.
Robb (:So, I mean...
Robb (:Mm -hmm.
Tina (:I put more miles on my car than need be, but I don't like to sit around and miss anything. I definitely have FOMO. So I will always get in the car and go. And I don't mind it.
Robb (:than you should.
Robb (:I think too that, these generational things are always going to happen, I'm sure. Look, they've happened every generation. I think that the jump is just much more now. Like you said, people who don't know their grandparents. Now, to be fair, I only knew one, but that's only because one was alive. But I knew her because they flew me out to another state to make sure that I knew her.
I think a lot of things now, mostly in the state we live in, so many people are exiting the state. It's not a shock. I bet you in smaller towns and different states across this country, I bet you a lot of people still do know their grandparents. And in some cases, their great grandparents. My friend down the street, she's a grandma. She's young. She's not even 50.
Tina (:Mm -hmm.
Robb (:and her mom is still alive. just think her my friend's grandkids know great grandma, which is really unheard of. Like to know your great grandparents is a whole other, you know, whole other thing. But, you know, I think that it's still there. Again, this state is very odd because of people just exiting at record paces.
Tina (:Mm -hmm.
Tina (:Yeah.
Robb (:But I bet you smaller towns across this country, there's probably much more family unity, like a lot of Southern towns, you know, like they're small and people still live in towns that got.
You know, I live in a town that's got like 90 ,000 people in it. There's towns in the South that got 25 ,000, 45 ,000. So like very small towns that I'm sure it's very, know, a lot of community stuff, lot of family that still stays around the same area. But the other side of that is the phones and everything still exists, right? So you're not...
Tina (:him.
Tina (:We used to have to write letters I have friends in Texas and I would on a regular basis probably like once a week once every two weeks send a letter to one of them or it could just because You know, couldn't always talk on the phone You had to pay for every minute you were on the phone with somebody out of your area code Which is different than it used to be And and then we use snail mail like I sent letters on a regular
Robb (:Mm
Robb (:Yeah, sure.
Tina (:I can't even tell you my writing has gone to crap. I can't even tell you the last time I wrote something other than a check. It's crazy because everything we do we do on a computer or a phone. Yeah, that was not the case back in the day.
Robb (:All right.
All right, typewriter. Yeah. I mean, that's. I I write. Probably more than most because I will still all I mean, like I do a lot of jotting of notes in my phone just because it's easier and if something comes to my head, I type it in. But I still have binders here where if I'm writing poetry, I handwrite it still. Just. Because I find it easier sometimes to be able to look at the whole.
the whole structure if I'm writing, but that's just because I'm trying to rhyme with things and I think just find it easier. But I think you're right. I mean, I used, there were some friends in Iowa that I had met in the last summer of school. I went out there and we wrote letters for a long time. So, and you know, now there's Facebook, so we, every blue moon, you know, I'll say hi to everybody, but it's, it's a, like it's an interesting thing to.
to see these generational differences that I think are pushing people further apart and not bringing them closer together.
Tina (:they're absolutely pushing people further apart. Take for instance, the driving. like traffic is at an all time high here. It's horrendous. It's absolutely horrendous. But on the other hand, people used to let you cut in. People used to let you get out in front of them and turn and do whatever they had to do. People were very gracious.
People are not even close to being gracious anymore. Here's a matter of fact, they're complete assholes in the way they don't let somebody in. cannot merge. will they will haul ass to get past you like as if to win a race or whatever. And nobody uses common sense, good judgment, you know, signals. my gosh, nobody uses signals around here. It's ridiculous. So
Robb (:Mm -hmm.
Robb (:signals.
Robb (:No. Yeah.
Tina (:Even that's changed, like people are very aggressive now where nobody was aggressive when they were driving and I find I am too. It's like the worst words will come out of my mouth when I'm driving because people are just such idiots. But at the same time too, if I'm calling them something, then who's the idiot? You know, I'm there too.
Robb (:Well, and I think like with the driving standpoint, it's. You know, like we we live in, we all live in different towns, right? So where I live, I would say thing. First of all, the the normal street. Speed limit where I live is 45. So.
Tina (:Right.
Robb (:Like when I come to where you live, I feel like someone has weighted my car down. Because to go 35 is really difficult for me now because I never go 35. It's just, there's a few streets where I live that are 35. There are side streets with houses on them where I live that it's 40 miles an hour. No, like there's one by a park that's down the street from my friend.
Tina (:you
Tina (:Right?
Tina (:You're kidding.
Robb (:Every time I leave her house and go up the street, it's 40 right next to a park. So it's definitely a different thing here. So when I do go to a place like where you live.
It's it makes me want to you know, chew nails It's so difficult because you know you get off right there at like Balboa or Tampa and P It feels in my head that people are just riding the brake And i'm like, yeah, it's 35 here I'm not supposed to be doing 50 because here I can do 50 down the street and they want to pull you over Like it's you're just everyone goes 50 and on the freeway
Tina (:I think everybody goes 50 here too, unfortunately.
Robb (:and the freeway where I'm at, you're doing 80, no one even blinks. It's, yeah.
Tina (:no. People will pass you going 80 miles an hour. People will stay up with you going 85, I've noticed. But I'm like, I'm not trying to get a ticket.
Robb (:Yeah.
Robb (:Yeah.
I try not to do more than 80 where I'm at because I'm at the 10 and in the morning there could be several several different kinds of police officers so I do my best not to I don't want a ticket because you know my insurance is already shitty enough and going up I don't know if you've noticed that the insurance for is going up in California car insurance so be ready
Tina (:Right?
Tina (:When time
Robb (:So how do you think that we can curb this? Or do you think that it's just out of hand now?
Tina (:Well, I think that there's several ways that we need to start looking at it. First of all, we need to get back to men and women liking each other and being in relationships. We need to have more family type situations set up for children so that they learn from their mom and their dad how to interact, because I don't believe kids know how to do that. So I believe that in having parents be together and have their families together and
Part of that, excuse me, part of that is having their grandparents. There's more people to be accountable to. There's more people to be around you. There's more people looking out for you. And I think that unfortunately with the way nobody seems to think that men are anything of importance, we don't have enough family to go around for kids.
And that's so important. We need coaches. We need teachers. We need family friends. We need neighbors. We need people to get involved with these kids and interact and force them to have conversations because left to their own demise, they just won't do it. And I think if we start talking to them and making them accountable and making them contribute and, you know,
Robb (:Right.
Tina (:be social. We need to teach people how to be social now because without that we don't have much of a community.
Robb (:Yeah.
Robb (:I think it's been lost in typing. Everyone just finds a way to bury themselves in a phone. And like I said, I think it's bled into our generation for sure. I think I find it coming backwards though, or at least with people around me. Me and the girl down the street were talking one night and I said, if I could just delete all social media, I'd do it tomorrow.
Like I'm trying to inch my way out of it because it's nothing but it tears you down, it kills your self -esteem, all kinds of horrible things that are now, it bled into us and we see it, but the generations below us are living that. I couldn't imagine being,
Tina (:Absolutely.
Robb (:17 or 16 year old kid on Instagram looking at, know, mostly being a girl and looking at these Instagram models that are nowhere near real are nowhere, you know, there's so many things about them that are now killing this generation, literally, like, everyone's, you know, either taking their own life, or, you know, wanting to just do all these crazy things to look like them. It's like,
Tina (:Here's another thing that I've noticed is when people are in a fight, nobody gets involved and tries to break it up. They all get their phone out, though, and record what's going on. And that, to me, blows my mind. if a person gets hit by a car, nobody reaches out to help them. But they'll all get their phone out, and they'll take pictures of everything or a video of everything and watch someone die.
Robb (:Correct.
Robb (:Mm -hmm. Well, and I think, look, there's issues with the outside of that as well, though, because you can look at now. And again, it's probably very small instances, but I've heard of this girl was drowning. Guy came, yanked her out, saved her, and then she wanted to press charges on the guy for touching her inappropriately. Dead serious.
Tina (:Stop it.
Robb (:So, I mean, without sounding horrible, should have let her drown.
Tina (:You know, here's the flip side. Let him cop a feel fuck it if he saved your life. How bad was it really? Come on.
Robb (:Right, my whole thing with that is that it's the absurdity that now you'll be less willing to help someone because they may sue you.
Tina (:Right?
Tina (:Yes. And that that happens a lot. Like people are are so just I don't know. They're just so weird. I don't understand why people are so afraid of being touched or so afraid of being talked to, so afraid of communication, so afraid of working, driving everything. And and you know, when we were younger, it was suck it up like
You know, if you're if you're hurt, you're fine. You know, did anybody die? Are you bleeding? OK, then you're fine. Well, now it's like the the victim mentality is so put in everybody's head that that's how they're supposed to be. It's so unattractive. And. Yes.
Robb (:Rub some dirt on it.
Robb (:Everyone is coddled.
Everyone's coddled now. Everyone below the age of 30 has been coddled so much that they think that if you tell them no or you're wrong, they have a conniption fit and want to go in a corner and cry.
Tina (:Yes.
Tina (:Yeah. Or how about all these women that just keep doing crazy shit and then when some people say, hey, like that's not what you're supposed to do, they turn into these Karens and they're angry and they're fighting and they're clearly wrong. But they're just, I don't know, they'll get pushed to one little detail and then they want to run that agenda instead of just being
Robb (:All right.
Tina (:you know, decent person. I'm like, quit being an asshole. Start being a real person and I'll deal with you. But if you're going to act like that, I have nothing but hate towards that. So you're not going to get very far.
Robb (:Right. Well, and look at the the look. I watch a lot of crazy shit on dating on on face on Insta, no on YouTube. And both sides, like you said, bringing men and women together, it's so crazy because we've given the sexual liberation to women so much now that like.
They're Instagram or OnlyFans models and that's all they want to be in. And it's okay if you show your hoo -hoo and what's the big deal. But then they bitch and moan about not being able to get a date because guys don't want to date them. Well, there you go. Like which one do you want? A lot of guys don't want that. They don't want to have to worry about 20 ,000 people seeing their soon to be girlfriend. So we've lost that art of
Tina (:Yeah, it's not special anymore.
Robb (:of morality, the line of morality. Like where is it? Like look, do I want my girlfriend to look pretty and if she wants to wear a low cut top when I'm with her and feel better, whatever it is, I'm okay with that. I'm okay with within reason. But these girls are like, you know, the internet is forever. And I try to tell people that it's forever. You put something on the internet, it's forever.
Tina (:Yeah.
Robb (:And once you do that, you're pigeonholing yourself into a corner of whether you're a whore or not, it doesn't matter because perception is reality. So to a man, going to, he might see you as that what you are, or what you project yourself to be. So that's all he wants from you. So he's going to go out and use you up and then.
Tina (:Yep.
Tina (:Right?
Robb (:drop you off. And then people are wondering why, well, he doesn't want to date me. Well, yeah. And I think that there's a lot to that. And again, I don't want to sound horrible. mean, horrible. There's dudes that are just as screwed up and as holy as that too, that are narcissistic pieces of shit who will use and abuse you, then tell you they love you and then shit on you the next morning. there's both sides of that coin.
Tina (:Absolutely.
Robb (:But how do we bring that back together where morality and dating is impossible, right? No one wants to talk to each other. Men are afraid of women now. Why walk up to them? Because now you walk up to a girl and you say she's pretty and ask for her number. And if she thinks she's gonna shit on you and then take video of you and post it on TikTok. So what makes me wanna go and talk to anyone? Why?
Tina (:It's true.
Robb (:it's not worth it. And then then I see these other women online going, well, we're all the good men out you shit on them.
You shit on the good men. So now they don't want anything to do with you. You want a Chad who's going to, you know, wine and dine you, use you up and then drop you off. That's what's going to end up happening. This is the social divide we're in. And again, I'm kind of playing the bell curve on this. Yes, there's good women and there's good men. That's without a doubt. I'm not going to say that. But both sides are now bitching that they can't do it. People are afraid to walk up to a girl because of the Me Too movement. You say the wrong thing.
Tina (:Yeah, absolutely.
Tina (:Yep.
Robb (:and now you're an abusive asshole and they wanna try to call you out and get you fired from your job. It's like, well, it's not worth dating. It's not worth doing this. It's not worth doing that. And I think it's in our generation as well, but I'm sure it's gotta be really bad in the millennial generation. My son, he seems to think that it's better in that generation, where people are starting to talk to each other more.
think with video calling or like he's a video gamer. So like they all have cameras. So they talk in real time, like with people. Now there's issues with that being far away and a bunch of other things, but they're at least communicating with some kind of real person in real time. It's kind of like FaceTiming all the time. So I think that's better, but I couldn't imagine.
Tina (:Yeah.
Robb (:you know, being afraid to walk up and talk to somebody because you're afraid of the backlash you may get. That's... It's a huge problem. It's... Well, we've talked about it before. I think I said... They said by 2030, so what is that? Six years from now, 50 % of women will be single.
Tina (:I think that that's a problem.
Tina (:well.
Robb (:That's a, which means just under that will be men, right? Because we're, there's less of us. So let's say 48 % of men will all be single. So what's going to happen? Like we've made a bunch of strong independent women and we've made a bunch of weak men who don't wanna do anything because they're afraid of the backlash.
Tina (:Right.
Robb (:We're going to divide and get divide and divide divide. We'll be long dead, Tina, before we have to worry about it. Long dead. But what's going to happen? There'll be no children. There'll be no babies. There'll be no one living here. There'll be nothing to sustain this, the food sources and anything. There'll be way too much food and no one to eat it and no one to make it and no one to do all these things. Because we're not procreating. we're now pushing far apart where
Tina (:That's true.
Robb (:Both, think both sides want a relationship. I don't argue that point. humans are meant to be in a social relationship. That's how we're built, or that kind of animal. We do better. Statistically speaking, married men live like four and a half years longer. Married. So, and so being in a relationship from the standpoint of
Tina (:Yep.
Tina (:true.
Robb (:doing better, feeling better, you know, being happier. It's all true. Even though people will tell you being in a relationship is hard and you can be unhappy. That's probably true. But statistically speaking, you're better off being in one. So, you know, how do we how do we change these generational curses? I don't know. I'm I'm hoping that that we can find a way because we need to socially.
Tina (:Right.
Robb (:We really need to change things. We need, like you said, communication, social skills, huge, right? Social skills will lead to dating skills and not being afraid to talk to each other. And look, I'm gonna sound dated and bad, but gender roles work. And look, in a lot of states like the one we live in,
Tina (:Mm -hmm.
Tina (:Yep.
Tina (:They do.
Robb (:Finding a guy who's going to be able to take care of you financially is probably slim to none. Like, you know, 65 % of people, of men in this country, only make like $38 ,000. So all these women who start talking about, want a guy who makes six figures, it's like 1 % of the country. Good luck. Because there's 90 % of the women trying to find 1 % of the men. It's not gonna happen.
Tina (:is true.
Robb (:So start looking at partnerships, real relationships or partnerships. I have no problem being in a relationship where it doesn't have to be 50 -50, but it has to be a partnership. You're going to share things. You're going to have to bring in money together. Those are the things that make the world go around. And generally, you have a better relationship with somebody because you're both putting in to build something. These are the skills that need to change now, generation. We have to stop telling women that they don't need a man.
Tina (:Absolutely.
Robb (:that that's the worst thing you can tell them.
Tina (:They may not need a man, but their kids do.
Robb (:Well, that's for sure. But let's say they don't even have kids. If you're telling young women that you don't need a man, it's like you're really pushing the social implications of that very far away from each other. know, single men, know, look, angry men do crazy shit. It's a fact that's we're built for war and we're built for doing violent shit.
you're gonna find things in the future, and I'm talking 50, 60, 100 years. We're so far apart. Women, look, the best part about women is that they come men.
Tina (:and they fire him up.
Robb (:They do, but generally speaking, because women are a little more level -headed, they calm men. Do they drive men crazy? Absolutely. The girl I like, she drives me crazy. She can be a dick, and she said it right to me. But there's also days where I feel that she'll say something to me and it calms me down. Like, yeah, you're right. This isn't as bad.
this isn't this and vice versa. Men should be there to support that woman. Like if she's having a bad day, he should come home and the first thing he should do is shield her. What can I do for you? What happened? Let's talk and then we can go on with the rest. So these are all these generational things that I think that happen.
that make us morally better and will move us forward. Social, dating, know, learning how to drive a car earlier in life is going to help societal and it'll help you as a person get out and be more social, get out and find dates. All these things are linked. Being in with your grandparents, they'll teach you how things were before, so now you're going to take these old school values into a new school world.
Tina (:Mm -hmm. And there's a place for them here for sure.
Robb (:For sure, I think that we're the last generation to give this kind of advice because the millennials haven't listened to us.
Tina (:I agree.
Robb (:So, and they're the ones that are pushing, although I think they're learning now that the shit that they've learned isn't working either. Cause there's 30 year old women who want to be strong and independent, but now want a man. It's like, well, yeah. And there's men who were taught, you know, it's okay to be a little more feminine and emotional. And they're finding that everyone thinks they're weak. So.
Tina (:Right.
Robb (:You're going to have to build this back up that luckily, like I said, generals work. They've worked for thousands and thousands of years.
Tina (:I believe that women can be strong and men can be strong and supportive and they could find a happy medium. They're saying that it has to be all one way or another is ridiculous. In life, it's all about finding balance. In nature, same thing, always finding balance. There's a way to do this where you could have an independent type of woman
Robb (:For sure, I won't argue that.
Robb (:Mm
Exactly.
Tina (:and an independent type of man, but still that want to lean on each other, that want to be with each other, that are entertained by each other and want to interact. And that's the goal. That should be the goal. It shouldn't be like, I could do everything all by myself. I don't need you. Well, why don't you need that? Why would you not? There's something, now there's something really wrong with you. Forget you saying you have ADD, PTSD.
C -O -P -D, whatever the frick everybody's got, they all got the initials. But like, the problem is that you think that you don't need a partner, that you don't need somebody to lean on. That's where the problem starts. Because it don't matter how independent you are, how strong you are, how whatever you are, people need people.
Robb (:Yeah.
Robb (:Correct, I agree. I'm one to say that I more want somebody than need them, but I think, you do need someone. We all need that. Again, there's things that, statistically speaking, and again, we can argue those facts all we want, but.
We live better in communal places with lots of people and generally if you have a mate you are living a better life. That's just how we work. And if you look in any other animal, any social animal,
Tina (:Absolutely.
Robb (:it's exactly the same. And I'm talking like bears, not even where you could argue monkeys where they're the closest thing to us. I'm talking like other animals, lions, bears, social animals that...
do a lot of the same things we do. They have a mate, or they have a mating season where they find someone and they live that life for a short period of time, whatever it is. We may stand up and have bigger brains, but I would never argue we're the smartest.
Tina (:Yeah, well, if today people see people and how they act on social media doesn't tell you that that's 100 % truth, nothing will.
Robb (:100 % not true. for sure. There's a lot of dumb people on smartphones.
without a doubt. I mean, I hope, you know, going forward, what we're talking about leads somebody to look at their younger kids or their millennial kids and go look.
things may have changed, but they really need to stay the same. Cause I think we're missing out on grandparents and parents giving advice and stout advice. Like I've lived this, you know? And I know it's hard to tell your kids that kind of stuff because they always think that they're right.
But we have to try to find better to show them the reality of, I've lived this life. The advice I'm giving you is based on this, this, and this. Social media is the devil. I don't care what anyone says. If I can find a way to get off of it, I'm definitely going to. It's nothing but a doom scrolling time killer where I would rather be sitting on a couch talking to somebody about...
someone else's life or something that happened or what's going on in the world. We need to talk to each other more.
Tina (:we need the interaction for sure
Robb (:Yeah. All righty. Well, any last words before we say good night, good morning, good evening or whatever this is?
Tina (:Put your phone down and start talking.
Robb (:Perfect, that's what I'm gonna do. Yeah, make sure you check us out on all the places you can listen to this show. Share it please, we've had crazy places lately again, like Brazil and more in Iceland, Morocco, like there's been some like really crazy places.
Tina (:That's so crazy.
Robb (:And of course, all the people in the States keep sharing with all your friends and see if we can't get some new listeners. Yeah, besides that, and socials, you can check us out on those social medias. Hopefully I won't be posting on them soon. But yeah, it's an opinion show. Don't get it twisted. Keep coming back every Wednesday. For my co -host Tina, I'm Rob. We'll talk to in a week. Thanks, see ya.
Tina (:See ya.
