EP # 171 Navigating the Holiday Season: Challenges and Joys

Robb (: 00:01

And welcome to another show of Don't Get This Twisted. I am Rob along with my co-host as always, Tina. How you doing, Tina? I'm hanging in there, Rob. How you doing? About the same. We got past Thanksgiving. We got past Thanksgiving, which actually wasn't that bad for me. It was very, very mellow. It wasn't bad for me either. It was just me and my friend down the street. So there was no.

Tina (: 00:08

I'm hanging in there Rob, how you doing?

We got past Thanksgiving.

Tina (: 00:23

Yeah, it wasn't bad for me either.

Robb (: 00:29

We didn't have the kiddos or anything. So it was literally just us two and a lot of food. We we actually watched TV all day. It was kind of chill, Nice. We we only had 16 people at the house, which normally isn't a big deal. I did.

Tina (: 00:35

Yeah.

Tina (: 00:39

Nice. We only had 16 people at the house, which normally isn't a big deal. did, I cooked a couple of roasts, like some pork shoulders. It came out really good. And today after this, I'm gonna go to my friend's house and she and I are gonna bust out tamales for Christmas.

Robb (: 00:47

I cooked a couple of roasts, like some pork shoulders. It came out really good. Nice. And today after this, I'm going to go to my friend's house and she and I are going to bust out tamales for Christmas. Very nice. Very nice. step, you know, closer to having my shit together. Yeah, my friend on the street was supposed to make tamales, but it's a lot of work and she was like, I don't think I want to do it. So I don't think she's going to. Even though I said

Tina (: 01:01

And then I'm one big step, you know, closer to having my shit together.

Tina (: 01:15

Yeah.

Robb (: 01:17

I would help and I don't even know what the hell to do. But I was like, I'm sure I can. I can learn, so well, you want to come down and help me, I'll show you how to do it. I'm sure. Hey, you have to watch this show, but I got to find it. We watched all 10 episodes on Thanksgiving Day.

Tina (: 01:23

Well, if you want to come down and help me, I'll show you how to do it.

Robb (: 01:40

but it's on Netflix, but it's a comedy. Hold on. It's really, really, really funny.

see what it's called. Hold on. I pull her IMDB up. It's got Kirsten Bell in it. It's called Nobody Wants This. It's really nobody wants this. It's about two sisters who have a podcast and

Tina (: 01:58

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 02:04

Nobody wants this?

Robb (: 02:12

one of them falls for a guy, but I don't want to ruin it for you. You gotta watch it. It's basically he falls, she falls. She falls for a guy and it's the hijinks of what happens as things progress. But it's funny because the two friends have a podcast or the two sisters have a podcast on it and it's interesting.

Tina (: 02:20

That's all I need to know.

Tina (: 02:30

Nice. I'll to check it out.

Robb (: 02:40

to see because I think it'll be funny how things change if either of us really start dating because their podcast changes as she dates this guy and there's there's turmoil and it's quite humorous but I think you should should give it a you should give it a try. I think we've when we've dated we've already had problems with it. Right right. had a couple. Exactly but I mean. of people that that

Tina (: 02:58

Well, I think when we've dated, we've already had problems with it. had a couple of people that in the start didn't want me doing this at all and didn't trust you at all. And I'm like, come on.

Robb (: 03:07

in the start didn't want me doing this at all and didn't trust you at all. And I'm like, come on. What I'm talking about is is how she changes. You got to watch it because I don't want get out. Yeah, because if I say things that are ruined, kind of what happens. But, know, like how how maybe I'm I'm pretty outspoken and outgoing and and how I would maybe like.

Tina (: 03:18

Mmm, I'll have to check it out.

Robb (: 03:36

totally change. That's kind of how things on that show. You'll see, but you should check it out. It's quite humorous. Well worth the 10 episodes to watch it. And they go quick. I want to say they're only 30 minute episodes. like that's why we watched it in a sitting. But speaking of fun stuff, we have the holidays coming.

Tina (: 03:51

Hmm.

Okay.

Tina (: 04:00

in a sitting of five hours sitting.

Tina (: 04:05

Yes.

Robb (: 04:06

you know, the holidays, we have done several shows on the holidays and they're the holidays are like this very bizarre thing. I think as you get older, they become less fun. They become more turmoil than they're worse when they're worth. Or in this case, I think this year.

People are just broke and

man, it's very difficult. And it's not just one or two of us. I've talked to several people, my friend down the street, multiple people at my work, not just one, out of all of us, the people that are in the sales force, with the exception of my boss, but the four of us, the four guys in front are already like, man, it's gonna be so difficult.

We're just hurting anyway, right? The economy isn't the greatest. So what do you think? I mean, what do you think we should do to either pump spirits up or or get through the holidays unscathed as much as we can? Because I know it's going to be difficult either way. And some people just don't like the holidays or Christmas. My friend down the street hates Christmas, just not a Christmas.

Tina (: 05:36

That would be me. I'm not a fan.

Robb (: 05:38

See, you're, man, you guys will. And again, speaking of just off topic, I did talk to her today and we just need to set up a time now because she'll be, she'll have some free time now to do a pod with you. So, but yeah, she's like, we were talking about it. She's like, I just have never really liked Christmas since her father passed away. And I think that might've been like a set off moment. And I think a lot of people have kind of that. My ex-wife was one of them. Her mother.

Tina (: 05:51

Okay, cool.

Tina (: 06:06

Well, that's definitely the case for me with my mom too. Like we have not decorated in 13 years.

Robb (: 06:09

That's definitely the case for me with my mom too. Yeah, see, so. have not decorated in 13 years. Wow. OK. So. So that's definitely it. So what do you think people should do, though? Like, what's a because for me, like you can put a smile on and it's pretty I mean, some people can. like, hey, it's cool. It's great if you have little kids around you. I think it's.

Tina (: 06:19

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 06:37

still to me is awesome. As long as you can have that. Once you get to like, my kid doesn't even give a shit anymore. He wants money and that's it. And there's nothing wrong with that. I just think that there's no like hype for it. It's just there's no happiness behind it. Because Santa doesn't have to come. It's just what it is. So for me it's that and I think

Tina (: 06:49

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 07:06

when other family is into it, it's gotta be very difficult.

Tina (: 07:12

Well, nobody in my world is really into it. I mean, we all like to get together. And my niece and nephew are ages where, you know, the money is great too. But I think COVID set me free from having to buy presents for every single person in the family and all the kids and all that. We don't do that now, thankfully. And I don't want to get back to that. I do like to do something special for my niece and nephew.

Robb (: 07:13

Well, nobody in my world is really into it. I mean, we all like to get together. And my niece and nephew are ages where the money is great too. I think COVID set me free from having to buy presents for every single person in the family and all the kids and all that. We don't do that now, thankfully. And I don't want to get back to that.

I do like to do something special for my niece and nephew. And since COVID, we've been doing games. I make a big ball of crazy gifts and we all play the game together, my dad, my brother, all of us. And.

Tina (: 07:41

And since COVID, we've been doing games. Like I make a big ball of crazy gifts and we all play the game together. My dad, my brother, all of us. And, you know, we do games and I find that the kids love that. They're like, what game are we doing this year? What game are we doing this year? So we, we do games now for like littler gifts. I still give my niece and nephew money or if there's something that they want or if they want to go somewhere.

Robb (: 07:56

you know we do games and i find that the kids love that they're like what game are we doing this year what game are we doing this year so we we do games now for like littler gifts i still give my niece and nephew money or if there's something that they want or if they want to go somewhere i still do that for them but now it's more or less like let's just play and have fun and interact and and make it something where we're laughing because my niece and nephew are clowns they like to laugh they like to

Tina (: 08:10

I still do that for them, but now it's more or less like, let's just play and have fun and interact and, and, make it something where we're laughing. Cause my niece and nephew are clowns. They like to laugh. They like to do fun things. Like for instance, on Thanksgiving, my brother brought them over early and I was like, shit, I'm not ready. I don't have everything done. And, the kids were in the living room laughing and, and

Robb (: 08:25

do fun things like for instance on thanksgiving my brother brought them over early and i was like shit i'm not ready i don't have everything done and and the kids were in the living room laughing and and dancing around and acting like fools while i was cooking but i could see them and my brother was sitting there and we were all laughing it was just the four of us and it ended up being a really good thanksgiving they set the stage for a really good time and and we all were close and

Tina (: 08:38

Dancing around and acting like fools while I was cooking but I could see them and my brother was sitting there We were all laughing. It was just the four of us and it ended up being a really good Thanksgiving they set the stage for a really good time and and we all were close and enjoyed each other and it wasn't so frustrating

Robb (: 08:55

and enjoyed each other and it wasn't so frustrating. I'm kind of working on doing stuff like that. I think that kind of, because those are good interactions. I think that when you don't have a lot to give or you can't, or you're just like most people these days, really money is just such a huge deal.

Tina (: 09:01

And so I'm kind of working on doing stuff like that.

Tina (: 09:10

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 09:25

I think that you have to work around things like that with interaction. I'm a big believer that, if you're going- think that's more the meaning. I think it is too, but look, we both know that Christmas and Halloween and these things are corporate holidays, Valentine's Day. They're there to make money for people. And look, I'm in a field where it helps because I'm in the electronics business. So-

Tina (: 09:30

And I think that's more the meaning.

Robb (: 09:52

I will tell you last week we sold a shit ton of TVs. And I don't mean like a little bit. yeah. And I mean a lot. A lot, a lot. Where I work, we send things out to Palm Springs, out to the desert. We were loading trucks every day with like 15 TVs. So yeah, we did quite well. So I get both of that.

Tina (: 09:58

Really?

Tina (: 10:12

Wow.

Robb (: 10:17

but I also think it is about the experience. Mostly as you have older kids. And I think it's about friends and family. You should be able to share those things. For me, since all my family is really gone, they're either in other states or my mom has passed away. So I don't really have family here. So when I did Thanksgiving,

Tina (: 10:24

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 10:42

I told her like, look, I want to, you know, she said, I'll make dinner, blah, blah. How's that cool? That's great. But I want to put in, I want to like give. I bought the turkey. And if I happen to get an invite to Christmas with her, I'll do the same. Like, I want to give in because I think that that's part of it, too. That's putting together to make sure everyone has a good time.

Tina (: 11:05

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 11:06

So I think those are things as well that you can do. Like friends giving, you can have a friends Christmas, even though one person might have family and you don't. It's about coming together though, I think. Look, we should do this year round. We'll see, I think my family. Mm-hmm. My family got.

Tina (: 11:13

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 11:24

Yeah, we'll see, I think my family.

My family got, it, you know, I'm, guess I'm basically it. the, I'm the matriarch of the family. So for me, it's like, I'm going to do what I like to do. And what I like to do is spend time. Like I've always been the one to play games with the kids. I'm always the one to, get everybody going and interacting and talking and everything. So since I'm that person, I always try to do something where that's what we're doing.

Robb (: 11:33

I guess I'm basically it. I'm the matriarch of the family. for me, it's like, I'm gonna do what I like to do. And what I like to do is spend time. Like I've always been the one to play games with the kids. I'm always the one to get everybody going and interacting and talking and everything. So since I'm that person, I always try to do something where that's what we're doing.

Tina (: 12:00

And so I find that I don't have to spend as much money.

Robb (: 12:00

See that's... you find it hard that you have to do everything now?

Tina (: 12:06

and they're enjoying themselves.

Tina (: 12:11

Yeah, yeah. my gosh like the just the stress over Tamales my my aunt used to do them and then she hit her head one year and She lost her taste her sense of smell everything So she just came to me like a few days after Thanksgiving and she said guess what you're in charge of tamales now for Christmas I had never done tamales on my own. They had me put them together, but never cook all the stuff

Robb (: 12:14

my gosh, like the just the stress over tamales. My aunt used to do them and then she hit her head one year and she lost her taste, her sense of smell, everything. So she just came to me like a few days after Thanksgiving and she said, guess what? You're in charge of tamales now for Christmas. I had never done tamales on my own. They had me put them together, but never cook all the stuff. So I had to really scramble and I have a really good friend, one of my best friends, and she's she always makes tamales.

Tina (: 12:37

So I had to really scramble and I have a really good friend, one of my best friends, and she always makes tamales, so I reached out to her and said, will you help me? She makes amazing food, so she helped me and we did it together and it was a good experience. So now I don't wanna do it with the whole family, because the whole family comes over, you gotta feed everybody, they all make a mess, they don't know what they're doing, it's like herding cats, and it takes triple the time it

Robb (: 12:44

So I reached out to her and said will you help me she makes amazing food so she helped me and we we did it together and and it was a It was a good experience so now I don't want to do it with the whole family because the whole family comes over you got to feed everybody They all make a mess. They don't know what they're doing It's like herding cats and it takes triple the time it would normally take if it's just me and my friend doing it so I find that I try to get out of doing it with the family and just do it with my friend because

Tina (: 13:04

would normally take if it's just me and my friend doing it. So I find that I try to get out of doing it with the family and just do it with my friend because it's a better experience. It's an easier time. I don't mind if people want to help and put stuff together, but man, the freaking mess and all the stuff we have to do and and should we do this and should we do that? And when I get together with my friend, she's like, OK, put them in here. We're going to do this. We're going to do that. It's already planned. It's just

Robb (: 13:13

because it's a better experience, it's an easier time. I don't mind if people want to help and put stuff together, but man, the freaking mess and all the stuff we have to do and should we do this and should we do that? And when I get together with my friend, she's like, okay, put them in here, we're gonna do this, we're gonna do that. It's already planned, it's action, just do it, let's get it done and then we're gonna go have fun. And I really enjoy that.

Tina (: 13:34

Action just do it. Let's get it done and then we're gonna go have fun and I really enjoy that I really do so this year. Nobody said anything about tamales So I I made the big roasts that are gonna go in the the tamales So I'm gonna take that over to her house. We don't even have to sit there and watch meat cook you know we just have to go over there put them together and it'll be a nice day she'll drink and well, you know, we'll just sit and talk and

Robb (: 13:40

I really do. So this year, nobody said anything about tamales. So I made the big roast that are going to go in the tamales. So I'm going to take that over to her house. We don't even have to sit there and watch meat cook. You know, we just have to go over there, put them together and it'll be a nice day. She'll drink and we'll, you know, we'll just sit and talk and have a good time. See, that's cool because I like that experience, I think. And since that's not even like

Tina (: 14:03

and have a good time.

Tina (: 14:08

Yes.

Robb (: 14:10

the holiday day that's like leading up so it's like it's like having you're still having a good time for the holiday spirit but not on the day because look we all know I mean unless unless you don't have kids or never had or been around them Christmas Eve and Christmas Day you know if you're Hispanic obviously Christmas Eve and if you're white like me Christmas Day it

Tina (: 14:13

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 14:19

Yeah.

Robb (: 14:38

It's generally pretty crazy when you have children or grandkids or whatever it is because look, they are in that spirit and it's great. But when you start thinking like, you know, you're right, the cleanup, the mess, cooking, you know, making sure this is warm and this is cooked and this is, it's gotta be turmoil, you know, and I've never had to do that, thankfully.

Tina (: 14:42

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 15:02

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 15:07

So watching her cook Thanksgiving was quite interesting for us because she precooked a lot of stuff and just brought it and then heated it up, which was brilliant since it was only two of us. But when you have people that have 20, 30 people coming to one event has to just be fucking nightmare.

Tina (: 15:17

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 15:28

It can be it's a lot you just learn I guess I've been doing this my whole life. So I've learned how to Cheat and get out of of certain things for instance I know that once everybody comes over they're gonna be heating up their stuff and doing whatever Plating their food and they don't they're not gonna have everything that they need So I know that when they're gonna come over I make the time like one o'clock so

Robb (: 15:29

It can be it's a lot you just learn I guess i've been doing this my whole life. So i've learned how to Cheat and get out of of certain things for instance I know that once everybody comes over they're going to be heating up their stuff and doing whatever plating their food And they don't they're not going to have everything that they need So I know that when they're going to come over I make the time like one o'clock So I have all of my stuff cooked and ready to go by one o'clock and I step

Tina (: 15:54

I have all of my stuff cooked and ready to go by one o'clock and I step out of the kitchen and if I get out of the kitchen I stay out of the kitchen. So that does that does me some good. But I've been caught up in years where I've been trying to do something when my aunt's been trying to do something and my god it drives me effing crazy. I love my aunt she is the best but I don't like to cook with her. You know so I don't. I get out of there before she shows up and then she's like a little

Robb (: 15:59

step out of the kitchen and if I get out of the kitchen I stay out of the kitchen. So that does me some good. But I've been caught up in years where I've been trying to do something when my aunt's been trying to do something and my god it drives me effing crazy. I love my aunt, she is the best, but I don't like to cook with her.

You know, so I don't. Right. I get out of there before she shows up and then she's like a little tornado and I just deal with whatever aftermath I got to deal with. Right. But I I am grateful that everybody that comes over now that everybody's older help out with dishes and clean up and and bagging up all the leftovers and stuff so that they could take stuff home. I appreciate that. Yeah, it's still a lot. I'm I'm big on that as well. Where like I brought a bunch of Tupperware over because she had told me like, look, you better bring stuff because there's going to

Tina (: 16:24

Tornado and I just deal with whatever aftermath I got to deal with But I but I am grateful that everybody that comes over now that everybody's older Help out with dishes and cleanup and and bagging up all the leftovers and stuff so that they could take stuff home I appreciate that But it's still a lot

Robb (: 16:49

be a shit ton of leftovers. And there was. And her son couldn't come, he had to work, so I'm sure he cleaned up the next day. But, you know, I brought all that over. She likes to do dishes as she goes, which is brilliant as well.

Tina (: 16:51

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 17:05

Mm-hmm. Me too.

Robb (: 17:08

So literally after we were done and we bagged everything up, she had almost 90 % of everything done. We just sat back down and watched TV again. So I can get that. I'm big on dishes. So if I'm getting fed for free, I generally try to do them.

Tina (: 17:18

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 17:24

You

Robb (: 17:27

I get in trouble over her house all the time. She's like, why are you the dishes? I'm like, why not? Like I'm a big boy. can help. Yeah. And and and I know people in their kitchens. So some people are crazy. Like she doesn't let me cook anything or cut or anything. So I do my best to like that's why I do the dishes. But you know, these are these are family events that, you know, can also get out of control.

Tina (: 17:32

You should contribute, be a part of it.

Robb (: 17:56

I haven't been in anywhere there's been arguments or, or, you know, weird stuff happen, thankfully. But I've heard some horror stories about that as well to where, you know, you start getting.

Tina (: 18:04

Hmm.

Robb (: 18:11

brothers and sisters and and some uncles that have issues with each other together and it can turn sideways very quickly we have in my family it were having an issue right now words my dad's kids which is my brother and i verses my uncle's kids which not kids but the daughter and her

Tina (: 18:20

Mm-hmm. We have a in my family it we're having an issue right now where it's my dad's kids Which is my brother and I versus my uncle's kids, which not kids, but the daughter and her wife They They have decided that they don't want to celebrate holidays with us so it's literally spit the family into like my my uncle and and all of his kids and stepkids they

Robb (: 18:37

They have decided that they don't want to celebrate holidays with us. So it's literally spit the family into like my uncle and all of his kids and stepkids. They stay at his house and everybody else comes to my house. And so when my aunt was saying, she said, well, since you don't have a kitchen right now, we'll just do Thanksgiving at my house. And I said, no, we're going to do it at my ex's house because I

Tina (: 18:49

They stay at his house and everybody else comes to my house. And so when my aunt was saying, she said, well, since you don't have a kitchen right now, we'll just do Thanksgiving at my house. And I said, no, we're going to do it at my ex's house because I'm house sitting. And that way my aunt, which is my uncle's ex-wife, could be at the festivities as well.

Robb (: 19:06

I'm house sitting and that way my my aunt which is my uncle's ex-wife could be at the festivities as well and it ended up where their kids went everywhere so she called me the next day and said well are we invited and I told her I said yeah I'm not exclusive if your family show the fuck up like there's no reason not to show up I've never been I'm not gonna I'm not gonna roll out the welcome wagon and

Tina (: 19:15

And it ended up where their kids went everywhere. So she called me the next day and said, well, are we invited? And I told her, said, yeah, I'm not exclusive. If you're family show the fuck up. Like, there's no reason not to show up. I've never been, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna roll out the welcome wagon and, and, know, hand, you know, pick who I'm gonna have there. My friends, my family, they all know if you're hungry, show up. That's it.

Robb (: 19:36

and know hand you know pick who I'm gonna have there my friends my family they all know if you're hungry show up that's it and I told her I said I'm not exclusive about who comes to my house the people that are supposed to be there will be there and

Tina (: 19:45

And I told her, said, I'm not exclusive about who comes to my house. The people that are supposed to be there will be there. And I hope that she got the picture that the shit that they're pulling isn't right because it's not, you know, we've always stayed together and you know, somebody doesn't want to go. They just don't go. That's on them, not us. But I'm kind of tired of all the bullshit with that.

Robb (: 19:53

I hope that she got the picture that the shit that they're pulling isn't right because it's not. You know, we've always stayed together and you know, somebody doesn't want to go. They just don't go. That's on them, not us. But I'm kind of tired of all the bullshit with that, you know, and I'm not one to shut up. So if somebody says something, I got an opinion. I'll say something back. And I don't care anymore. I'm tired of dealing with people and their exclusivity like they're better than anybody.

Tina (: 20:09

You know, and I'm not one to shut up. So if somebody says something, I got an opinion, I'll say something back. And I don't care anymore. I'm tired of dealing with people and their exclusivity like they're better than anybody else. They're not.

Robb (: 20:23

else. They're not. Yeah, I just think also people in general with family are just tired and

When we've been so good to people for so long and then something goes sideways, you are just like, and you get to the point where you're like, you don't care anymore. You're like, okay, I don't care because they're spoiled or entitled or whatever it is. And I think that...

Tina (: 20:43

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 20:53

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 21:04

People start throwing a lot of that stuff around in the holidays as well. You know, it's like, you know, well, what about the kids and what about this and what about that? And you got to get to a point where you're like, yeah, but you're being shitty. Like, what is it? I'm all up for trying to look. We should be great with our family and friends year round. But I've seen a post by somebody on Facebook.

Tina (: 21:07

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 21:31

And they were talking about like, Christmas is nonsense. And, you know, we should celebrate this every single day. It's like, yes, we should. a perfect world. a perfect world. But here's the thing. The whole point of having one day of year to do it is to make sure you do it. You know, like I find when people make.

Tina (: 21:41

in a perfect world.

Tina (: 21:49

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 21:57

Outlandish things like that like we should do it every day. Of course, we should everyone should It's kind of like Valentine's Day I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day because I think you should show you love your spouse or mate every single day and You're more likely to get flowers from me on a random day in September than you are on Valentine's Day just because I think that it is so It's so overly It's just like

Tina (: 22:10

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 22:21

Overdose.

Robb (: 22:25

Dinner costs five times as much. Roses cost five times as much. It's all these nonsensical things about it. Where like Christmas, it's really not like that. Gifts cost the same year round. Matter of fact, at Christmas time, you can probably get a better deal on a lot of stuff. So it's not even about that. It is about being with family and making sure they know that you mean something to each other and...

Tina (: 22:27

Hmm

Robb (: 22:50

And I think now that my mom's gone and I mean, you the same with you your mom's gone my friends You know her dad's gone. You start seeing family. I to me a little bit different. I think you start really Enjoying the time that you may have left with people at least in my case, that's how I I see it because

Tina (: 23:10

Mm-hmm.

That's why we did what we did with having it over at my ex's house because that way my aunt who is the ex of my uncle could be there with her kids. Otherwise, she's excluded and she doesn't have other family. She's just got her kids. And I just don't think that that's right. Not having a mom. I'm not going to exclude my cousin that has one. It's bullshit.

Robb (: 23:14

Look, that's why we did. That's why we did what we did with having it over at my ex's house, because that way my aunt, who is the ex of my uncle, could be there with her kids. Otherwise, she's excluded and she doesn't have other family. She's just got her kids. And I just don't think that that's right. Not having a mom. I'm not going to exclude my my cousin that has one. Exactly. It's bullshit. And again,

without being utterly morbid, but we are in our 50s. So time is fleeting. And you should enjoy, if you have your parents, you should enjoy them. It's difficult. And even if you've had issues, because I know people who've had issues with their parents and...

Tina (: 23:49

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 24:00

Absolutely.

Robb (: 24:11

Thankfully, the few that have have made strides to make their relationship better. They don't forget what happened in the past, because you shouldn't ever. But. But you should learn from it for sure. Yeah, and I think that they know. They know that, you know, look, mom is in her late 70s. That's when my mom passed away.

Tina (: 24:20

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 24:24

But you shall learn from it for sure.

Robb (: 24:36

You my dad's in his early 80s. It's like I, I don't know how many years I have left with my dad. So, I'm going to make a trip out once it gets, he lives in South Dakota. So once winter is over, because winter in South Dakota is gnarly. I don't know if I can go there in the seven degree weather, but,

come springtime, I'm gonna head out and see him. so, cause I didn't get to see my mom, COVID and she had, you know, breathing problems and she didn't want to die from COVID. But I just think that these are the things that the holidays are really, really about. I mean, yes, it is. Is it about gift giving? Sure. But I give gifts year round too, to the people that generally I care about. So,

Tina (: 25:31

Right?

Robb (: 25:34

I'm more worried about the people who are out there that, you know, cause some people it's expected when you have people in your life, even though you might not be doing well, it's still expected by the family to show up and do it or to really put a smile on. And sometimes you can't. And I think that this year, a lot of people are having issues with not being able to put a smile on.

Tina (: 25:56

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 26:01

I think that when you're with your family, you should be able to be real. You should be able to be who you are and you know within reason don't be an asshole just because you know, you want to fight with your brother on that day or whatever. You know, that's just not the day to do it pick 364 other days. There's something you could do to them any other day just when you know, I always say like with my cousins and stuff and having these issues with us, which we don't know what they really are anyway.

Robb (: 26:02

I think that when you're with your family, you should be able to be real. You should be able to be who you are.

and you know within reason don't be an asshole just because you know you want to fight with your brother on that day or whatever right you know that's just not the day to do it pick 364 other days there's something you could do to them any other day just when you know i always say like with my cousins and stuff and having these issues with us which we don't know what they really are anyway which makes it kind of stupid you know that why are you fighting with me when we don't even know what you're fighting with

Tina (: 26:31

Which makes it kind of stupid, you know that why are you fighting with me when we don't even know what you're fighting with? I think that's Idiotic however, I could be nice enough and say hi and give them a hug and then walk away from them and Spend the holiday with the cousins that I do get along with and we don't have to fight You know you go into the kitchen. I'll be in the living room. You want to go into the living room? I'll go outside. It's not a big deal you

Robb (: 26:38

I think that's idiotic. However, I could be nice enough and say hi and give them a hug and then walk away from them and spend the holiday with the cousins that I do get along with. And we don't have to fight. know, you go into the kitchen, I'll be in the living room. You want to go in the living room, I'll go outside. It's not a big deal. People know how to act because we have to work with people we don't like all the time.

Tina (: 26:59

People know how to act because we have to work with people we don't like all the time. So why can't you just do that the three or four times a year that you have to get together with your family and the rest of the time you're fine. It's three days or you know, what am I thinking? Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter. Those are like the big three, right? You can't be nice to somebody for three damn days and it's only a few hours. It's not even a whole 24. So what kind of person are you that you can't get

Robb (: 27:04

So why can't you just do that the three or four times a year that you have to get together with your family and the rest of the time you're fine. It's three days or you know what am I thinking Christmas Thanksgiving Easter those are like the big three big ones. Yeah, you can't be nice to somebody for three damn days and it's only a few hours. It's not even a whole 24. Right. So what kind of person are you that you can't get along with people?

Tina (: 27:29

along with people to that degree. You know, you got to check yourself.

Robb (: 27:31

to that degree, you you gotta check yourself. I agree, I think you have to get to a point where you can just, you know, not open your trap and go crazy for, you know.

a couple of hours. Pick another day to fight. The very next day, start fighting. I don't care. Right. Whatever you're going to do. Right. But shut the fuck up and do what you need to do to make the family experience OK. I agree. And I think that like my I loved my mom to death. I loved her, but she could.

Tina (: 27:47

Yeah, pick another day to fight. The very next day start fighting. I don't care. Do whatever you're gonna do. But shut the fuck up and do what you need to do to make the family experience okay.

Tina (: 28:05

Okay.

Tina (: 28:12

to say.

Robb (: 28:12

She had no filter, zero filter. It was great. But that being said, she could get out of hand sometimes in a good way. she just had, man, she could say things that, and me and my poor brother would just sit there and go.

Tina (: 28:15

Nice. I like people like that.

Robb (: 28:38

because she'd start talking, like I said, some people don't know, but she worked in a mental facility for a long time. So she would start telling stories about the people that she had to deal with. And although it can be funny, and a lot of it was, some of it just didn't need to be told. And once she got on a roll, she would get on a roll.

So like those type of things or where you know that your dad has a way of saying things that may offend people because that's just who they are. Sometimes you just have to sit back and go, okay, I'm just going to let it roll. Don't say anything like because it is better for everyone. And I think that there's something to that. And if people get offended, I'm so over this whole.

Tina (: 29:07

me.

Tina (: 29:31

And if people get offended, I am so over this whole, I'm offended, I'm offended. I'm like, good, I'm glad you're offended. I'm glad that sparked something in you that you actually have an opinion. I'm over this whole offended thing. It just bothers the hell out of me.

Robb (: 29:35

I'm offended, I'm offended. I'm like, good, I'm glad you're offended. I'm glad that sparked something in you that you actually have an opinion. I'm over this whole offended thing. It just bothers the hell out of me. I just get to the point where you're like, know who it is, parent, uncle, sister, sister's girlfriend, boyfriend, if you've been around them enough, you know.

Tina (: 29:54

Yeah.

Tina (: 30:05

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 30:05

And I think that then there's the flip side of that. If you're going to one of these get togethers and you are with your mate and you have only heard stories, you have to be able to be situational and go, okay, I know what it is I've been told about this person. You you act accordingly.

I don't think you should not be yourself, but you should also act accordingly. There's a time and place for everything. And it's kind of like the company Christmas party. The company Christmas party, if you work for a huge company, I think you know the rules. You know not to get too drunk. You know not to shit on your boss in front of other people. You know, if you're...

Tina (: 30:38

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 31:02

If you're the date going to that, you know how to be professional. You know what I mean? And not get out of hand. We have a very small staff where I work and I mean small. There's only seven of us in the whole building. Four, five, six, seven, seven of us. That's it. So even if everyone has a mate to bring, you're talking the Christmas party will only be 14 people.

Tina (: 31:09

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 31:30

smaller than my Thanksgiving.

Robb (: 31:30

Right so in my case I think it's a little easier to be yourself and and not worried because most ever at least with the people you've told people of your mate about him like I'm sure my friend at work his wife knows about me and how I am and how I talk because we you know we all say things but so there's a time and place for everything and and I think that

Tina (: 31:37

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 31:59

You know who you're supposed to be at certain places and you know not to be a certain way at other places. Because the holidays can be stressful with that as well. I couldn't imagine, you know, taking, well, I guess I could imagine because I'm pretty easy going. It's got to be hard to be, to go to a Christmas event with your mate for the first time. That's got to be one of those.

You know, because I mean, we have movies based on it, whether, you know, the boyfriend gets taken to the family Christmas party. There's a movie called The Family Stone. I don't know if you've ever seen it. It's really good. But that's kind of that thing where, yeah, it's it's when you're around all the brothers and sisters, they're going to grill you or, you know, ask you questions that

Tina (: 32:35

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 32:40

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 32:56

you may want to answer, but you may not want to. It's like, that's always my not my nightmare, but my the scenario of you go to the Christmas party and you're there and you're like, yeah, and your mate goes away for a little bit and then they come towards you with like, so what's your intention with my sister? And it's like, okay, how do I answer this? Where everybody's going to be satisfied?

Cause you don't want to, you know, cause if you say, I plan on marrying her, then there's a whole plethora of questions behind that. But if you don't say there's a future, then it's like, why are you here? I thought you guys were, it's like, I couldn't imagine that I'm good with people. I, and I think that if I was driving over, I would have already had a conversation with my girlfriend. Like, okay.

what's the right thing to say. So we're all on the same page. I, you know. Plans are in the works. Yeah, but I mean, good for everybody. like, if. I would just say that plans are in the works. We don't, we're not quite there yet. Right. We're figuring it out. I think that's good, but I think she should also know that. So then we're both saying the same thing. So then, because I think that, look, there's, mostly if you're a guy, at least in my case, this is how I look at it, they're always going to be like,

Tina (: 33:58

Plans are in the works.

Tina (: 34:03

I would just say that plans are in the works. We don't we're not quite there yet. We're figuring it out.

Robb (: 34:21

You what's the future plans? Where do you see yourself? Like all these questions where I know that my family, if I take a girl to a Christmas party, they're not gonna be like, so what do you do for a living? What do you do? Like they could give two shits. They're gonna be like, do you want ham? You know what I mean? Like. My family, you know, my mom's not around anymore. She was one that would ask the questions. My dad and my brother, they really don't wanna know. They just leave your, that's cool. how's it going? Would you like a beer? Yeah. They're more of that.

Tina (: 34:37

My family, you know, my mom's not around anymore She was one that would ask the questions my dad and my brother. They really don't want to know so they they're like, hey, how's it going? Would you like a beer like they're more that? Way, you know, and I'm the one so how's it going and you know, tell me about you or but not tell me what your plans are because We just don't know life is so

Robb (: 34:51

way you know and the one so how's it going and you know tell me about you were but not tell me what your plans are because we just don't know life is so what's the word i'm looking for life is just so

Tina (: 35:05

That's the word I'm looking for. Life is just so.

Tina (: 35:11

life. don't think things change so often and so quickly that how do you plan for everything? You don't. You just don't.

Robb (: 35:12

Life I don't yeah, I'm changed so often and quickly quickly that how do you plan for? Everything you don't mm-hmm. You just don't yeah, I mean I think that there's good answers for that I mean mostly if you're young you know if you're and I mean yeah, mean young by 30 You know look if if you're dating somebody at 30 Your plan should be some kind of commitment

And I also think that if you're dating somebody at 50, there should be some kind of commitment. you're in your 20s and you take the girlfriend to the Christmas dinner, mean, the odds are that the odds are she's not. I mean, I saw a meme where the joke was, make sure that you put the girl or boy you're dating at the very end of the outside of the picture so you can always cut him out. The funny thing is, is I do that automatically.

Tina (: 35:50

she may not be there next year.

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 36:05

Ho ho ho.

Tina (: 36:10

Why do you do that automatically?

Robb (: 36:10

Or I stand at the very far end because I know it would be better to cut somebody out and that's just the photographer in me. I won't stand in the middle of the family. That's fucking horrible because then they'll never be able to, you'll always be the sore thumb in that picture. You'll always be the, hey, isn't that guy, the guy you dated? It's like, ugh, yeah. I do my best not to do that. But, or I do my best not to even get in the family picture.

Tina (: 36:39

Hmm.

Robb (: 36:39

Yeah, I've actually told somebody I don't want to be in the picture and I told them why and I was like, what if I'm not here in a year? That would be horrible. And they were like, we don't care. Get in the picture. But.

Tina (: 36:51

I think it's just what happened that year. You know, I don't, I don't really put too much thought into it.

Robb (: 36:51

I think it's just what happened that year. know, don't really put too much. I agree. I just I just find it that like these are the these are the things that the holidays bring on. You know, there is stress on a simple date or a simple taking someone to dinner or, you know, simply just getting like we used to do a thing with mine where once I had a son and my brother had his two. It got it got to the point where we were like, OK, look,

Tina (: 37:06

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 37:21

we're only going to buy gifts for the kids. Then it just, it kind of streamlines everything. No one has to worry about, we'd all get together for a dinner and the kids would get gifts. And I just thought that that would make it simpler. So then you don't have to worry about, you know, the brother and his wife and the kids and then mom, dad, it just became, and look, we were all, if you have small children,

Tina (: 37:30

Yeah.

Robb (: 37:50

you know that, you know, they cost a lot. So, you know, at one point, you know, when when I was married, we were sending I had two teenage daughters and then my newborn son. And then by the time he was two and a half or three, he was going to pre-K, which was like, you know, five hundred a week. So things just were tight. And I think that these days we're kind of back into that same time period where.

Tina (: 38:09

Mm.

Robb (: 38:18

A lot of people are just living paycheck to paycheck. you're, you know, now here comes Christmas and you're like, okay, how do I, how do I put away a little money stashed this here? And you're almost to the point where you got to stash it starting in September. Well, you know,

Tina (: 38:21

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 38:36

Well, you know, a good thing that my grandparents taught us was Christmas clubs. You know, you take $10 a week, $20 a week, and it goes into the savings account that you just don't touch. And then the savings account opens, I think it's in November, like the first of November, you have a chunk of money and that's the money that you use for your Christmas. It's a Christmas club, I guess. And I noticed that that works really well for me.

Robb (: 38:38

A good thing that my grandparents taught us was Christmas clubs. You know, take $10 a week, $20 a week, and it goes into the savings account that you just don't touch. And then the savings account opens, I think it's in November, like the first of November. You have a chunk of money, and that's the money that you use for your Christmas. It's a Christmas club, I guess.

And I noticed that that works really well for me. I just open it up, it just takes the money automatically, I don't even miss it. And then at the end of the year, you just pull it out and go. I do that in my regular life. I actually have an account that takes a certain amount of money out every payday.

Tina (: 39:06

I just open it up, it just takes the money automatically, I don't even miss it. And then at the end of the year you just pull it out and go.

Tina (: 39:20

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 39:25

So no matter what, just, and you're right, you don't realize it because you look at the balance and you don't know. That's actually a really good idea. I think I might do that next year. You gotta start it now. Yeah, well. Start your account, it's so easy. You could do it on your phone. You start it up, set it up, it goes. Maybe you just don't even know what's going on. Yeah, I mean, because if you did 10 bucks a week, 40 bucks a month,

Tina (: 39:31

Yeah.

Tina (: 39:35

You gotta start it now. You could start your account. It's so easy. You could do it on your phone. You start it up, set it up, it goes, and you just don't even know what's going on.

Robb (: 39:53

is will go a long way in 12 months. $520 you'd have at the end that you wouldn't have normally. who's going to miss $10 a week? Yeah, no, that's a fucking Starbucks. Yeah, exactly.

Tina (: 39:55

What's $520 that you'd have at the end that you wouldn't have normally and you'd who's gonna miss $10 a week?

Yeah, exactly. You want to if you want to if you want to save some money, quit going to Starbucks.

Robb (: 40:06

You want to, if you want to, if you want to save some money, quit going to Starbucks. Yeah. But for sure, I totally agree with that. But you are right. Like something as simple as that will make next year way better. I think that that should be the biggest thing from today's pod is a Christmas club or a Christmas account, because I think you're right. You will. And I think as long as you don't drain it. Right.

totally dry. No, but I mean, even the following by the time December comes, if you don't drain it all the way dry, it'll just continue on.

Tina (: 40:33

Yeah, you don't touch it. Just don't touch it.

Tina (: 40:41

yeah.

Robb (: 40:41

You know what mean? Like you don't have to close the account. just can't take it below a certain number without. you could take it all the way out. really? Yeah. And then it'll just start up again. It's the same account. It's just a thing for Christmas. I'm going to look that up on my app then. I'm going to totally do that. That's wonder. Now you got me wondering.

Tina (: 40:46

No, you could take it all the way out. And then it, yeah, and then it'll just start up again. It's the same account. It's just a thing for Christmas.

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 41:02

It's it's just a smart way to do things and you know my grandparents they didn't have a lot of money and they had a lot of grandkids they had nine grandkids so and and we got our check every year for $25, you know, that's what we got and then I got a little bit more because my grandmother said what did what do want for Christmas and nobody would say anything Well, I always like this perfume so I would tell her I like this perfume because I liked presents to open up

Robb (: 41:03

I want to check how to do that. That's awesome. It's just a smart way to do things. And my grandparents, they didn't have a lot of money. And they had a lot of grandkids. had nine grandkids.

And we got our check every year for $25. Right. then I got a little bit more because my grandmother said, do you want for Christmas? And nobody would say anything. Well, I always like this perfume. So I would tell her I like this perfume because I like presents to open up. So she would get me my perfume and then my grandfather would still give me my $25. They probably just didn't talk, let each other know what they were doing. Right. I'm sure. But I was always the kid that helped. I.

Tina (: 41:32

So she would get me my perfume and then my grandfather would still give me my $25. They probably just didn't talk, let each other know what they were doing. But I was always the kid that helped. I felt like, well, if the kid showed up more and had a relationship with their grandparents, they'd, and Grandma know what to get them to.

Robb (: 41:44

felt like well if the kids showed up more and had a relationship with their grandparents they'd pop in grandma know what to get them to that's probably with all of us to be fair that's pretty much all of us

Tina (: 41:53

Yeah, yes.

Robb (: 41:56

was funny too because on thanksgiving I was talking to my friend over there and we were talking about Because she's a grandma and she's a young grandma But she was telling me about her sisters and brothers and how many grand because I was like, wow There's like a bunch of you guys how many grandkids do you have? and like each of her siblings have four or five grandkids and so there's like 17 grandkids and I was like

Tina (: 42:21

Mmm.

Robb (: 42:25

Holy crap, and so I was like, make kind of making a joke and I was like, man, your mom is like a great grandma. So her mom's great grandma that has that many great grandkids. It's absurd, which is really cool though. Cause I think that, you know, I don't know if all her family get together at the holidays, but I know some of them do.

Tina (: 42:37

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 42:48

but it is an interesting thing to think. Do you know what you would have to do? You'd have to put 40 bucks a week away to make sure that you could pay off all the grandkids by the next Christmas. It's a great thing. Look, I like the holiday, but I like it for young kids, just because it's fun still. And there's nothing like watching young kids run to the Christmas tree, cause Santa came.

Tina (: 42:59

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 43:14

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 43:15

I don't know how we're going to do next year. Hopefully the economy is in a better place and and we're all at least not living paycheck to paycheck and or at least putting a little bit away because it's difficult these days. My only thing is is try to you know have a good holiday season.

It's not it's not easy. It's just not and since we are recording this for everybody, this is actually December 1st. So we are literally in the Christmas season. We have 24 more days till the holiday is over. Jesus. Yeah, that's what we're to put some pressure on you. Thanks. And and just try to be kind to each other while you're out there, you know, doing your shopping, assuming you actually leave your house. I think a lot of people are just online shopping these days.

Tina (: 43:51

Jesus.

Thanks.

Tina (: 44:08

You know what I've noticed though? Everybody just spends way too damn much. We give our kids so much the kids don't appreciate anything and it starts little. You know, there'll be a bunch of presents and the kid wants to play with the box. If that doesn't tell you how you need to downgrade what you're doing, nothing will. And set the expectation lower. Let kids know they don't get everything that they want.

Robb (: 44:08

Although...

We give our kids so much the kids don't appreciate anything and it starts little You know, there'll be a bunch of presents and the kid wants to play with the box If that doesn't tell you how you need to downgrade what you're doing Nothing will and and set the expectation lower let kids know they don't get everything that they want and they shouldn't They shouldn't yeah because life setting them up for failure for the rest of their yeah, they're never gonna get what they

Tina (: 44:37

And they shouldn't they shouldn't because we're setting them up for failure for the rest of their life that they're never going to get what they constantly want Unless they just spend the money that they don't have to do it. That's not teaching them how to live. Well

Robb (: 44:44

Constantly want unless they just spend the money that they don't have to do it. Mm-hmm That's not teaching them how to live. Well now well and and to actually enjoy what you get You know, I'm gonna get her grandkids a couple of like little I bought some Some gift bags on Amazon. So like my thing is what can I fit in this bag?

Tina (: 44:58

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 45:12

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 45:12

because I don't want to get you know out of control and I was like hey what can I get them and there's two boys and a girl and she's like well I don't know because I'm gonna get a gift card so mom can go get him things but I want to put something in the bag so she's like well for the boys maybe Hot Wheels and like it's so funny because I didn't even think about that I'm like yeah Hot Wheels that totally works I can get a couple cars here and there and then she goes you can get her granddaughter a pocket Barbie

Tina (: 45:40

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 45:40

And I was like, pocket Barbie? She's like, yeah, they have a pocket Barbie. I was like, obviously you can tell I haven't shot for little kids in a long time. And I'm like, that's brilliant. Because the bag's like, you know, like a standard bag. It's like five by seven or, you know, eight by something, like a very small bag. And I just want to be able to have a gift card, some wrapping paper, something in there. So it's small, but they get something on on that day. And I and I'm to do the same for her. Something very small in a bag. Because.

Tina (: 46:04

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 46:10

And I told her, don't get me anything. Because, you know, obviously, we're all living paycheck to paycheck. said, just feed me. Because that always works. Food is always a good thing. My nephew, who is now 18, he wouldn't tell me what he wanted one year.

Tina (: 46:20

Yeah. Well, my nephew, who is now 18, he wouldn't tell me what he wanted one year. So I had a bunch of money for him and I stuck it in a bottle of water and froze it. And then I wrapped it and gave it to him that morning and he had to go sit outside and let it defrost so he could get to his money. So there's always fun ways, even if you want to give money to do it.

Robb (: 46:27

So I had a bunch of money for him and I stuck it in a bottle of water and froze it and then I gave it to him that morning and he had to go sit outside and let it defrost so he could get to his money. So there's always fun ways even if you want to give money to do it. Or cruel, one of the two. he thought it was hysterical. He laughed so hard. I think it's funny as hell. Yeah, I think that's quite humorous, actually. Yeah, I think we should. Don't tell me next.

Tina (: 46:47

he thought it was hysterical. He laughed so hard, but he's got a good sense of humor. Yeah.

Yeah, I go don't tell me next year and let's see what I do next and he goes he goes I think I'm gonna just not tell you cuz this is hilarious so

Robb (: 46:58

and let's see what I do next. And goes, I think I'm gonna just not tell you, because this is hilarious. Yeah. You know, now that I think about it, what might be fun is, I mean, not freezing them, but like getting gift cards and putting them in jello, because they'll be okay. And then they can eat the jello to get to the gift card. You know, that's kind of gross, but funny. There's so many things you can do. Yeah. I mean, I would put it in some plastic or something. I wouldn't just let it float in the jello, but it would be fun. That's actually a really good idea.

Tina (: 47:15

that's kind of gross but funny. There's so many things you could do.

Tina (: 47:27

it's hilarious.

Robb (: 47:27

It's hilarious. So, do you think here for our our last little kind words before we go for this holiday episode? Quit being an asshole. Go to the holiday and try to enjoy it with the people that you have to be with. You know, make it as good as you can. And it's only one day and then let it go. Totally agree. I think.

Tina (: 47:40

Quit being an asshole, go to the holiday and try to enjoy it with the people that you have to be with. You know, make it as good as you can and it's only one day and then let it go.

Robb (: 47:56

Enjoy what you can by the time you have it with somebody because it can go away very quickly. Absolutely. Remember that look, you're right. Let's try to do this every day because of that same thing. But the one day, you know, put a smile on, do your best. And even if you're not doing OK, you know, at least visit. then if you're not doing well, it's OK to to bail out. But

Tina (: 48:01

Absolutely.

Robb (: 48:25

Make sure everyone knows that they mean something in your life, because I think that's very important as well. Absolutely. All right. Well, make sure you listen to us on every single format you can, because we're on a crap ton of them. Make sure you share this with your friends and your family, because it is the holidays. And make sure to check us out on social media. Even though I'm having issues with Facebook, I can't share links anymore.

Tina (: 48:31

Absolutely.

Robb (: 48:53

They're getting horrible about it, yeah. Yeah, I just got kicked back. I posted some stuff today and they're like, you can't do this anymore. I'm like, okay, so. But yeah, make sure you check us out and we'll be back next week because we're gonna get back on this once a week thing and actually get everything rolling. And it's an opinion show, so don't get it twisted. Keep coming back every Wednesday for my co-host, Dina. I'm Rob. We'll see you in a week. Bye. See ya.

Tina (: 48:55

interesting.

Tina (: 49:11

Yes.

Tina (: 49:21

See ya.