EP # 214 How to deal with people coming back into your life out of nowhere.

Robb (: 00:01

And welcome to another show of Don't Get This Twisted. I am Rob along with my co-host as always, Tina. How you doing, Tina?

Tina (: 00:06

Hanging in there Rob, hanging in there. Today was not a bad day.

Robb (: 00:10

no, not too bad, right?

Tina (: 00:14

Yeah, it's pretty peaceful, easy going. I got a lot done. Good day.

Robb (: 00:21

You didn't do real work?

Tina (: 00:24

No, I did not do real work today. I actually worked quite a bit yesterday and the salons are normally closed on Monday, so I Didn't have to work today. Just switched out days

Robb (: 00:38

that's nice.

Tina (: 00:39

Yeah, it was.

Robb (: 00:43

Yeah, just I'm I'm always getting pulled different directions. My kid started his job from home. Yeah, so I'm going to see a lot more of him.

Tina (: 00:49

Tina (00:55.708)

Does he keep the door shut and stay in his room? Then you won't see a lot of them.

Robb (: 00:59

Yeah. yeah, only on his breaks. He gets an hour lunch right now. Only during his training period. And then once he starts regular work, he only gets half an hour.

Yeah, which is really wild to me. so. But yeah, besides that still PT. So I will see a lot of him because I'm still off on disability. So I'll be. Yeah, the only good part is I can like run errands and stuff, and I'm going to do my best not to, you know, bother him, let him do his work because he has to use training.

Tina (: 01:27

Yeah.

Tina (: 01:38

But if he's in his room and the door is closed, it's like he's not there anyway. Do what you gotta do.

Robb (: 01:42

Yeah, I think he can he can. He will leave his door open at some point. I think. Just because like his room is like a furnace.

Tina (: 01:58

Yeah.

Robb (: 02:01

But yeah, good times. So we were going to talk about lots of stuff. And then you came up with something that I thought was kind of a thing that's been happening, I think, for a longer time than we probably think. But definitely in the modern times of, you know,

Tina (: 02:07

you

Robb (: 02:30

cell phones and messaging. You want to talk about people who like check in out of nowhere to kind of see how you're doing or and it's generally people that were in your past trying to date you or you know or people that you didn't know where you're like to and now that you're

Tina (: 02:38

Yeah.

Robb (: 02:57

they found out you're single they check in or or they just check in anyway just to kind of see what's going on.

Tina (: 03:06

see if you're still single or if they could they could get one over on you or something I don't know I am that's how that happened to me twice today which is why it was on my mind I'm like what the hell is there like a full moon or is there something in the water or what's going on that these people would even reach out I thought we were done like

Robb (: 03:08

Yeah.

Robb (: 03:18

okay.

Robb (: 03:31

That is quite weird when people out of nowhere show up.

Tina (: 03:38

Yeah, it's been nowhere. Like, there shouldn't have been... They shouldn't have reached out. I'm still going, what the hell is in the water? Like... What am I doing? But I'm not doing anything. There's nothing that I'm doing to make this happen, other than I was nice to both of them and it just didn't work out and...

Robb (: 03:49

Yes.

Robb (: 03:56

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 04:02

I guess since then they've dated other people and now they're like coming back around but too little too late as far as I'm concerned like To me they weren't that big of a deal to begin with so

I don't know. It was just kind of odd today.

Robb (: 04:23

Right. Yeah, I think that things like that happen to people more than you think. think people mostly from our past, you know, will check in for whatever reason. And like, I don't think everyone's predatory.

I don't think every single person that's doing is, you know, checking in, seeing if they can, if they have an in with you. But I will say that I bet you it's more common that they are than they're not.

Tina (: 05:00

I would say these two are definitely checking to see where I'm at with things or I know one got with another woman after we had gone out on just a few dates and I guess she was just an asshole and and got him good and

Robb (: 05:06

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 05:13

you

Tina (: 05:19

You know, he's like, so how have you been? like, I'm doing great. And he's like, are you dating anybody? I'm like, no. Oh, man, I just went through this situation. I was like, who sucks to be you? But I was thinking to myself, I really don't care, because it's not somebody that I, you know, it wasn't going to work out with us. It was a very short situation. But yeah, why are you checking up on me?

Robb (: 05:31

Yeah.

Tina (: 05:47

And I think it's because I treated him good.

Robb (: 05:51

Probably, yeah.

Tina (: 05:52

you

Tina (: 05:56

I was just like, why would, I don't do that. I have friends that I have always been friends and I'll check up out of nowhere, hey, I haven't heard from you, are you good? Like, is everything okay? But that's a different story. That's me checking up on people that I've had a friendship with for like the longest.

Like I just reached out to one of my friends that lives on the East Coast because I thought he was listening to our podcast. Turns out he was not because the area that he lives in is different than the the cities that we got. But that's not that's not going, you know, that's not fishing around to see what's going on in life. It's like, hey, I haven't talked to you. I miss you. Have you been have you been downloading the podcast? You know?

Robb (: 06:44

Right.

Tina (: 06:45

Those are my peeps. Those are, I've known him since he was a little kid. So that's a totally different situation. I'm talking about people that are like, are you dating anyone? And, we should go out sometimes. Yeah, we used to have a good time. I'm like, we used to until you fucked it up. Now I don't want to go out with you.

Robb (: 07:05

Right. I just think that there's always somebody dipping their toes in the water, whether. like we did a podcast before on people that are just looking at your profile, you know, so I think the, the, the message or the call is just, you know, one step closer. Mostly if it's somebody that you had a decent relationship with.

You know what mean? Like it was it was good. It just it either didn't work out or or whatever. So. But I think it's way more common in in today's society, because it's just easy. It's easy to throw a DM at somebody. It just is. It's like, all right, well, you know, off you go. So I just think that you definitely.

Tina (: 07:49

Yep.

Robb (: 08:03

I think you just have to keep people at an arm's length. You know, because you just never know what their intention is. And look, I don't think, like I said, I don't think everyone's intention is predatory. But it can be if you've been there for them a bunch of times. And I think that...

that some people will take advantage of you for that.

Tina (: 08:39

Yeah. Yeah, these were definitely guys I went out with and they didn't seem like they were interested in and put any time into the situation. So I didn't either. You know, was really easy to just let it go. And now they're back and I'm going, what the hell? It's not that I I'm not surprised that they came back because, like I said, I treat I treated them good. I would.

be surprised if they found somebody that treated them half as good as I did to be honest with you, because from what I hear, women are pretty crazy these days and not wanting to not wanting to, you know, go the distance or do whatever. But I did treat them well. I treated them the way I would want to be treated. And then when they came back around, I was like, yeah, no.

Why would you think I'd want you back when you didn't treat me right the first time? Get out. Like how low do you think my self-confidence is? Come on.

Robb (: 09:36

Yeah, I think...

Well, that's the problem too is I think that's where the fishing comes in. They're fishing to see where you're at to see if they can, you know, hop in.

Tina (: 09:51

You know, the funny thing is, people don't... For them, they should know me to some degree, but I don't let people in that have hurt me like that. I would never like...

let them know, yeah, it's been miserable too without you. I'd love to see you. Hell no, that's not me. I'll be like, no, I'm doing great. And I don't care if I'm eating sawdust for dinner because I don't have anything. I wouldn't go and put myself out there like that for somebody to do it again.

Robb (: 10:25

Yeah, of course. Like, you know, once bitten, twice shy, right? Like, I...

Tina (: 10:29

Yeah. I know they weren't that great to begin with. Let's be honest. Come on.

Robb (: 10:38

I, yes, I like, my thing is this too is you just have to be careful with people coming back into your life because generally there's a motive behind it. You know, I not to, and look, not everybody, like I said, we, you we use the bell curve here. So like, I don't think it's an everyday thing where people are like.

You have to be worried about people, but I definitely think that if the people...

it ended weird or or you have been hurt by them that you should really really kind of just step back from that because it's it's really easy to get caught up in in things that were good that went sour because now you're like we're different people and you know and this and that and it's easy to do that because you know you're i think as people we all hope

right that that we learned the lesson and people things are different.

Tina (: 11:47

Don't repeat it. Right?

Robb (: 11:52

You know, so, but, you know, I would say that generally, they're not. They're just not it's, and again, like, and I will be fair to say that, you know, it all matters amount of time as well. Like, you know, if they're getting, if they're getting back and calling you, you know,

three or four months after it's like, okay, I think there's a, there's a lot of bad going on right there. Cause they're definitely, they're fishing to see if they can get back into something. And, you know, and let's say it's years later, then I can at least go, okay, I can understand it. Yeah. People could have changed by then, but not months.

Tina (: 12:44

Yeah, I don't believe it. People don't normally really change that much. You know, they could stop behaviors or patterns that they do. But ultimately, they're still the same. At the heart of the matter, they're still the same person. And I don't know. me, to me today,

Today, I just felt like keep walking. Like, what do you know? I don't want to do this with you again. I already did it and wasn't very thrilled and you could keep moving. Like, I'm sorry that I'm not sorry. I'm sorry that I'm not sorry that the next person treated you bad. Maybe you got a little taste of what you were doing to me. I mean, that's kind how I felt about it. So I just.

Robb (: 13:35

Yeah.

Tina (: 13:36

But it was weird too, two in a day? What's the odds on that? And when is the full moon? What the hell is going on here? Yeah, so that was... Yep.

Robb (: 13:40

That's that's a little odd

Yeah, that's

Robb (: 13:52

That's a little much, two in a day. I would question what's going on in life. But yeah, I think, like I said, I think there's a lot to be said about how long, you know, like if you guys dated and then, you know, four months after, I would kind of question it just because it's odd that they came that quickly.

Tina (: 13:59

Yeah.

Tina (: 14:21

Yeah.

Robb (: 14:22

You know what I mean? Like, they're back already. It's like, okay. The, the, happened with them and the person they got with obviously went sideways. But, you know, like I said, I mean, I've at certain points I've gone, you know, two years without talking to somebody and then they came back into my life. You know, in two years, I think things, you know,

Tina (: 14:25

He

Robb (: 14:51

I hate to say that people don't change because I don't want to I hope that they grow. guess that's the better thing I would try to say. Like I hope you grow as a person. Because that's that's kind of because like you said, you're right. Most people don't change per se. But if you grow as a person, I think that that's great. But it is scary.

I mean, people show up out of nowhere.

Tina (: 15:22

Yeah, that's the problem for me is like, why do you think you could come back around? You're like, no. No, I don't want you. Didn't want you the first time. Not going to be wanting you the second. Keep it moving. Yeah.

Robb (: 15:28

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 15:36

Right. And again, I just think, you like I understand the we're going to try thing. And I think and again, I'm going to be I'm going to play devil's advocate, but I think it's dudes that do it more than than women. I don't think women do it that often, at least at least not in my case. Have I had it happen? Absolutely. But I just.

Tina (: 16:04

You know, you know what's funny? I'm sorry, go ahead, finish what you're... You know what I think is funny is I don't, I don't call people. I don't text first. I don't,

Robb (: 16:06

Keep going.

Tina (: 16:16

Don't do that shit like I've learned a long time ago that if some somebody wants to be with you let them do the work It's in it's necessary and so even like with with my friends and stuff I don't I don't text first. I don't do those things because

I don't think guys appreciate it to be honest, like even if you're friends, you should still let them come to you. There's still that chase thing that needs to happen. And so I is very rare with people that I will call and do that with like.

I've never dated him, but like one of my really good friends in El Paso, I will call him out of nowhere. I'll call you out of nowhere. But it's like these are people that have been in my life for 100 years. You know what I mean? so that's and normally it's are you OK? Or we have plans what's going to happen. You know what I mean? So I rarely just, you know, pop out of nowhere. And so.

Robb (: 16:59

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 17:04

Right.

Robb (: 17:12

Right, right, right.

Tina (: 17:18

in dating, I've noticed that it seems like this happens a lot, but it's like you didn't want me when you had the opportunity. Why are you coming back around? And that's that's what I keep noticing is like, don't come back around. Once was enough. I got a good taste of who you are. Keep it going.

Robb (: 17:29

Right.

Robb (: 17:40

Right, right. I think it's wild that when it's people that you had a decent relationship with and it didn't work for whatever reason. And you still have a good relationship with them. And it's still kind of like, you know, they're checking in. Like, to me, it's I think it's just a it's a dangerous game.

with people you just have to be care like I think with like my emotions now or just my The way I try to do things is like look I Don't want to put myself out there over and over and over again and just with this in and You need to learn I guess that's my bigger thing learn a lesson Whatever that lesson is And just do your best not to repeat it over and over and over again

Tina (: 18:33

Yep.

Robb (: 18:39

Because people will take advantage of you in a second. Whether they're doing it purposely or not. You know what mean? Because some people, you know, just are good people and they'll try to get a hold of you and

and then you get caught up in something that you just wish you didn't.

Tina (: 19:02

right?

Robb (: 19:03

So look, there's a lot. mean, my thing now is if you're the person who is a people pleaser, you have to be very careful with that. Because it's just easy. Because you're just like, it's not a big deal. it's not a big deal. it's not a big deal.

And then the next thing you know, like you're knee deep in something that you probably don't want to be in. So you, I just think you got to be really careful.

Tina (: 19:37

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 19:42

I think I've always kind of been a people pleaser, know, try to be the buffer, get everybody together. You know, I've always been that person. But I'm like, I'm at a point in my life where when...

Robb (: 19:52

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 19:59

people weren't great with me or when I thought things were going good and then they're like all of a sudden, well, my ex came back into town so we're not gonna date anymore. I'm the first one to say cool, good luck and I'll see you later. Cause I'm not, I'm not doing that shit. But, but I'm like, why would you come back? Like even like when you've really messed up, why would you reach out to me again?

Robb (: 20:15

Right.

Tina (: 20:25

Do you think I'm gonna forget? I don't think any woman forgets and I know I don't. I sure as hell don't. Whether it be friends, family, whatever. Like, I'm not gonna forget. I'll forgive to a certain degree, but don't think I'm walking backwards into a wall when I just hit one going forwards. Like, get out.

Robb (: 20:46

Right. Yeah, look, you have to know your own heart. And if these people are fishing, they're... Like, it's wild when people come into your life after a long period of time and that you dated and the next thing you know, you're like, why? Like, why are you calling me again?

And I kind of agree with you where you kind of have to put yourself into the position of, you know, it didn't work. It ended bad. But you're here again. And and I've only had that happen to me. Like once or twice when it was and it was like a year or two later. Where you're just like. OK.

Like, see, I question that shit. All I, I would be the first person to go. I don't understand. why, like, what's your deal? What's the, what's the angle? and, and I hate that I'm like that because I don't, I want to try to believe people are decent human beings, but it's just, it's just difficult, you know, and, and

Tina (: 22:03

But they're not. They're not.

Robb (: 22:11

I'm just to the point now where like, I don't want to, I don't want to be hurt anymore. I'm just like, I'm over that shit. I, I

Tina (: 22:24

Yeah, but do you do you let somebody like that hurt you? mean, I don't know the when I don't I already don't trust the two people just because of what they did to me. So for me, it's like you're never going to get in a place to hurt me that that's the last thing you're going to do. Because I'm on to you, I'm on to the whole situation. But

Robb (: 22:40

Right.

Robb (: 22:47

Right. See, I would say that I'm a people pleaser. Like, so I would probably give people the benefit of the doubt, even though I shouldn't.

Tina (: 22:58

I'll talk to him for a couple days if I'm interested. I was not interested today though. I was not in a mood But if I was interested I talked to them for a little bit, but I wouldn't it's like putting your hand on the fire I'm not doing that again so What do you want to say to me?

Robb (: 23:13

Right, exactly.

I think now I will where where things have happened to me, I would probably really be gun shy to to trust people again. I just think I would be like, nah, nah, I'm Yeah, just

Tina (: 23:33

yeah.

Tina (: 23:44

Right?

Robb (: 23:47

I just don't want to go down a road again and beat myself up over it. To me, it's definitely not worth the craziness and the headache. And like you said, if it didn't work the first time, it's probably not going to work again.

Because it takes a lot to, I wanna say change, grow, the word you wanna use. It's just, takes a lot. I mean, like I said, I don't wanna say that I don't think it could happen, because I think people can change and grow. But I think if you're going to,

Tina (: 24:25

term is. Yeah.

Robb (: 24:42

let those kind of people in you have to do it with with a lot of armor on like you have you have to be able to my biggest thing these days is like look you can't be afraid to hurt people's feelings anymore because they may just hurt yours so you have to be able to go nah whatever and

and keep moving. Because if you don't, you're really just beating yourself up for no reason. And I don't want to do that shit no more. Too old for that. You know, I want things to be the easiest they can be. And I know that that's kind of a like, cheapy way of looking at it, but man, it's life's hard enough.

I'm doing my best to keep going and making it not hard. I just don't want to do that anymore. It seems like a lot of people's lives.

Tina (: 25:50

Right?

Robb (: 26:02

are, are, they're almost making their own shit difficult. You know what I mean? Like, you're just like, you're making your own life hard. Do you want to continue to do that? Cause I don't. I'm kind of over that shit. I'm kind of at a place where I want to go, nah, we're good. And, and here's the flip side. I also, I also don't want to hurt somebody's feelings.

Tina (: 26:16

No.

Robb (: 26:29

You know, they come back into your life and and and if you're a people pleaser, like I said, I can be like I hate breaking people's hearts. So I would I would not do that purposely. And at the end, it's like you end up being miserable anyway. Like, I don't want to be miserable. It's like, so you have to get to a point, I think now where you're willing to. Jump out of the airplane much sooner.

You know what I mean? Like, it's like we were in marriages that I mean, I don't know when yours was over, you know, but I'll tell you that I should have got out of mine way sooner.

Tina (: 26:59

Yep.

Tina (: 27:19

Yeah, I think I believe the same. There was a point in time where we just didn't seem like we were connecting and and it kind of hurt for a while. And maybe that's when we should have stopped, you know, the insanity. But I think when you're married, you you go the distance for as long as you can until you can't anymore. And so what's the right answer? What's the wrong answer? I just don't know.

Robb (: 27:44

Well, look, I totally agree. think marriage and people coming into your life are two totally different things. But I think that what you learn from that divorce is that you aren't going to let that happen again. So these people that pop in and out of your life for whatever reason, and again, I don't want to poop on anybody and say like...

Tina (: 27:50

Yeah.

Tina (: 27:58

No, definitely not.

Robb (: 28:10

Everyone has it out for you because I think that there are people that are literally just checking up on you. There really are.

Tina (: 28:17

Yeah. No. And those people like there's certain people when they when they check up on me, I'm I am you could feel the difference. You know that they have good intentions. You know that they're they're your people. And and that's a completely different situation. But this was like went on a few dates, kind of didn't get treated well, was able to just like squeak away like

Robb (: 28:31

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 28:46

Like just got away with there doesn't even need to be any talk about it when people don't even check on you when when you're Sneaking away or kind of you know getting out of there You know you didn't mean anything to them in the for the you know from the get-go so Why would you call now are you just noticed I'm missing or like what the hell happened

Robb (: 29:11

I think look, live, if you have a profile on whatever it is that you social media, I think if it's a public one, people are already looking to see what you're doing.

Tina (: 29:25

Yeah, mine are private. are completely private and if I don't know a person, I don't let them follow me.

Robb (: 29:31

Okay, so in your case, that's a whole other monster that I that's a whole other thing. So that's different. but I think people who have public profiles, they're already, they already know, they know what's going on in your life. You know what I mean? Like, and that's probably why they're, they're hitting you up because they

Tina (: 29:35

you

Robb (: 29:59

They're they already know because they fished your profile. Now, they're just going to fish you.

Tina (: 30:04

I don't know because there's I'm not even putting

That's another thing is is social media got a little crazy. It got a couple people that I noticed were stalking me and it made me think I don't need anybody to know what I'm doing anyway. So I don't know if you've noticed I rarely put up anything. I don't even know how to work Instagram to be honest with you. I'm having the hardest time with that. So I let somebody else put you know, like when we did the baskets, I let somebody else get my phone do what they got to do. I did the video like I could record. I know how to take a picture.

But but after that they hooked everything up for me because I don't know what the hell I'm doing That's how little I I deal with this stuff. So Yeah, if you're trying to fish me by looking at my stuff on social media, you're gonna be deeply disappointed but but I you know, I just if you didn't want me then don't want me now keep it moving like

Robb (: 30:37

Right.

Robb (: 30:56

Right.

Tina (: 31:06

have I my friend told me this stupid saying the other day because We were on the bike and I wanted to go back because I didn't know where we were So we were gonna go back a little bit and then get on the right road and then be on our way, right? And he said to me you don't go backwards to go forwards Garcia and ever since he said that right? I'm I'm

Robb (: 31:06

Right.

Tina (: 31:28

I'm hearing this this saying come up in so many different avenues of my life. And it's it's hilarious because I even said it to my cousin the other day. I'm like, hey, Martinez, we don't go backwards to go forwards. And she laughed. But she also said, that's a good saying. Like it's. It worked so.

Robb (: 31:46

It is. Yeah.

Tina (: 31:51

When these guys were calling me today, I was like, don't go backwards. You don't go backwards to go forwards.

Robb (: 31:58

It's a true statement. think that in most cases, and again, I will play the bill curve because you kind of have to. But in most cases, the people who are out of our lives are out of our lives for a reason.

Tina (: 32:17

Yeah.

Robb (: 32:18

Regardless, whether it's a friend, a boyfriend, know, shit parents, I know people who don't want to talk to their parents. So it's so I think you just have to

Tina (: 32:27

Yeah.

Robb (: 32:36

you have to be able to make a decision and stick to it. The people who are who are, you know, fishing you like they're they're looking for a second chance probably because you know, they screwed up the first time and and they know that or they

They either know you're not with somebody or that's the first question they ask. Right. You know,

Tina (: 33:08

Yeah, well they both were like, so how's dating going? I'm like, I've got too much shit going on for that. I don't want to. I'm kind of digging having friends, kind of digging doing what I want to do. I got these different situations coming up with our business doing the baskets. So I'm fulfilled right now. I put some...

Robb (: 33:18

Alright.

Tina (: 33:36

I filled up my own cup. I did what I needed to do for me and I'm kind of cool right now. So, and that's what I told him. like, I'm good. I'm not, not, I'm not in a place where I need that is what I told them. So it is.

Robb (: 33:44

That's perfect.

Robb (: 33:54

Right? Look, dating is difficult. It's not easy. People who, if you think that shit's easy, you're a better person than me. It's not.

Tina (: 34:06

Right?

Robb (: 34:11

And if it's somebody that, you know, was in your life or again, even a couple of dates. I mean, you know, these days, you know, people get hooked quick. So even a couple of days you can get in trouble. I just think that there is something to cut them off quickly. You know,

Tina (: 34:38

Right?

Robb (: 34:39

I think you probably just did the best thing, you know, with those, the ones that got you is it like, if you, think it, and I think most guys would rather hear it quickly than, then have someone like talk to them for weeks and weeks and weeks and then just disappear again.

You know what I mean? Like, just tell me. I'm all right with it. Like, tell me you're not interested. It's we're good. And then everyone can move on. Can move on. Because it's. It's too easy for. You know, mostly these days to get people get hooked quick. And the next thing you know, you're like, wait a second, you know, you know, years ago.

Tina (: 35:14

Yeah.

Tina (: 35:25

Think so?

Robb (: 35:33

I was seeing somebody and I told them right to their face like I was like don't fall in love with me because I don't know where I'm at and it's and it didn't work out well because you know next thing you know they're like lots of feelings got hooked you're like shit well

And you can't go back and say it, right? You can't go back and go, I told you. Because, know, and. You know, you can't help your feelings. That's the other thing. So I think that if you can, if you can. Tell somebody nicely and quickly. Like you did, like I'm good. I'm not dating. Everyone's happy. It's like, because then you can kind of, you can.

get away from it pretty quickly and everyone can move on because they're again they're fishing and they're trying to see if they can if there's any if they can get their foot in the door with you. You know that's that's the intention of most dudes. Is just getting their foot in the door.

Tina (: 36:53

I think it's getting their weenie in something not their foot.

Robb (: 36:55

Well, but you gotta get your foot in the door first. You can't get in the bedroom unless you put your you put your you know your leg through the door.

But I do agree. I like, I think a lot of dudes are just trying to get laid and that's it.

Tina (: 37:13

Yeah. If they didn't get it the first time, they're not going to get it the second.

Robb (: 37:15

And I think.

Yeah, well, and here's the other thing I think that if that's your your play, I think and again, modern women, I think most modern women would rather just hear that first. You know what I mean? Like, just say it.

Because I think at the end of the day, they would respect that more.

Tina (: 37:43

Yeah.

Robb (: 37:45

They'd be like, okay, well, no, I'm not interested, but at least thanks. And again, that only works on people that I think that you have a, you know, a decent kind of relationship with. You can't just be telling people you went on two dates with it. You just want to have sex. Cause I don't think that that's going to work out well either. You know, like, I'm, and I'm just going out of limb. Probably not your best sell job to,

Tina (: 38:06

Thank

Robb (: 38:15

to get with somebody.

Tina (: 38:18

You know, yeah, that wouldn't work for me.

Robb (: 38:21

Yeah, I don't think it works with many, there are, I I've been around, I know people, I've been with people that were pretty straight up and was like, I got a call during COVID, and I know I talked about it years ago on this pod. I got a call from someone during COVID that literally was like, hey, do you want to have pandemic sex?

That was it. It wasn't like very straight to the point. Like there was nothing.

Tina (: 38:53

Why didn't I get asked that? I may have been okay with that because I knew from the get what was going on. There's no don't bullshit me. Don't lie to me. Like I didn't get asked that. I'm sad.

Robb (: 39:03

Yeah. Yeah. Now, again, I had been with this person before, so it wasn't like...

Tina (: 39:10

Yeah.

You weren't making your numbers go up.

Robb (: 39:15

No. So yeah, we have talked about that too. You don't get a new number because you're you don't get a new number. But like for me, it was like she was very straight up about it. Like, hey, like, you know, the world sucky right now. Do you want to come over and hang out? I was like, oh, OK. So, you know, and

Tina (: 39:24

You don't get a new number.

Robb (: 39:45

And look, I think she knew she had already known the answer, I'm assuming, because I don't think she thought she was going to get turned down or she wouldn't have called. You know what I mean? So.

Tina (: 39:55

Good for you. Don't, don't let her down.

Robb (: 40:01

Right, I mean, and this was like middle of COVID. So it wasn't like, you know, it was a shitty time.

Tina (: 40:06

Yeah.

Robb (: 40:13

So it was, it made it much easier to be like, all right, like, let's do it. So I guess, I mean, all in all, she was fishing, but she, she had a pretty, she had good bait. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, she was fishing with a steak. You know what I mean? Like she wouldn't put in the little fucking, the little red fish on the end. She was like, you know, it was definitely had the right bait. So

Tina (: 40:18

Yep, let's do it.

Tina (: 40:27

She was fishing with purpose.

Robb (: 40:43

And in that case, those type of people, I think, come back into your life during the right time, right? Because it was just a, that was a horrible time in life. You know, it was nice, literally to just get out of the house. Not, you know what I mean? Not just not just go somewhere because knowing that you're gonna get laid. It was just nice to be like, wow, another human being.

Tina (: 40:56

Yeah.

Tina (: 41:11

Right?

Robb (: 41:12

that's neat. So it sucked. It was horrible. It was that was such a horrible time. I thank goodness I hope we never have to go back to something so crazy.

Tina (: 41:14

Yeah, I know that was that kind of time too.

Tina (: 41:27

Yeah, let's hope not.

Robb (: 41:29

Yeah, but look, this isn't ever gonna end. We're always gonna have people that in this day and age that will see where you're at in life.

Robb (: 41:46

And I guarantee you, nine and a half times out of 10, if they are getting of hold of you, they are.

single

You know what I mean? So I just look at it from, you know, if, if, if they're getting a hold of you, they generally have some kind of agenda. And I guess then it's just up to you. Right. It's up to you to see where.

Tina (: 42:24

Yeah, they got nothing going on.

Robb (: 42:32

where that goes.

Because you sometimes again like that one sometimes the fishing is great. Because you you're looking for it. But.

Tina (: 42:43

Yeah.

Tina (: 42:47

or the right people were fishing you.

Robb (: 42:50

Right, but I think that generally, you know, if there are people that didn't work out for whatever reason, it's probably in the best interest for most people to to stay out of that because, you know, people they they have their agendas or they have their their their

They're trying to get something out of you.

But who knows? I think that...

You have to be careful with For one letting people in right because then it's on you

I think what you did is probably the smart thing.

Robb (: 43:44

Right, you cut them off quick.

Tina (: 43:47

Yep. I really wasn't in the mood today. They picked the wrong day. And I was just like, yeah, no. I'm done.

Robb (: 43:48

They, you.

Robb (: 43:54

Right. You're like, boy, did you pick the wrong day? But I mean, look, I think there's something to it. I think you just have to.

Tina (: 43:59

Not even there.

Robb (: 44:07

You have to be very careful with what's out there and why most people are getting in touch with you. It's very easy for people to to pop back into your life these days, unfortunately, because we are just in that time of social medias and cell phones.

They don't even have to DM you if they have your number those text message you out of nowhere and that's even worse because then you have to like look at it and try to Try to wonder how to answer it. You're like, fuck All right. What do I what do I do on this one? Or how do I am I gonna do this one? like yeah That can be kind of sucky ducky

Tina (: 44:43

Yeah.

Tina (: 44:56

Yeah.

Tina (: 45:01

Do you did I ever talk about my 30 second date with Pepe la pew on the podcast So what are the guys what are the guys that called me today to see like how things were I refer to him as Pepe la pew because

Robb (: 45:03

You know.

Robb (: 45:10

What? No? The fuck?

Tina (: 45:23

I went to meet him and we had to meet in a Lowe's parking lot because he was walking his dog, which I was like, you forced me to hurry up to go with you to a comic show and now you're walking your dog and you want to talk to me before you take your dog back to the house. So I was like, just go put your dog away and let's let's go. Let's go to the thing. And he's like, no, I want to say hi to you first, because

It was it was the first time that we were meeting also. So I was like, OK, so I drove over to where he was and he's like, get out of the car. want to see you. I to give you a hug. And I'm like, can't you just take your dog back to your your house so we can leave? Like that's where I was at. But no, I got out of the car and I go to give him a hug. And you know how Pepin the Pew, the skunk at Warner Brothers? He's like a ringer and he's trying to he's trying to hug on on the cat that was painted like

Robb (: 46:12

Mm-hmm. Right.

Robb (: 46:18

Yeah, look like a skunk.

Tina (: 46:18

painted to look like another skunk. Yeah. So he that's what the guy was doing. He was making noises like that while he was like touching me and he was he was just rubbing his hands all over me, like all over my back. And and it was very uncomfortable. And he smelled kind of a bourbon, like bourbon and a lot of cologne. Right. So he was dressed perfectly and everything. And he was a barber. So I thought it would be fun because we have a lot in common. Right. So when he did

Robb (: 46:28

you

Tina (: 46:48

that to me I'm like and he was trying to kiss me and I'm moving away because I wasn't gonna kiss him I'm like I don't do that when I'm just meeting somebody cut that off and then I said well go take your dog back and let's get going so he's like yeah okay follow me and he's walking his dog and I'm supposed to be driving behind him which pissed me off too and so when he got to the end of the parking lot he was gonna go across the street he went straight and I turned right and I came home and I was like no like I'm not gonna

I am NOT going on this date with Pepe the pew I just can't and So he was one of the guys that called me today thought I had blocked him. I don't know how he got through like Because I was like I can't with you. I just can't like like rubbing on me and shit. can't I just can't So yeah, so that was my 32nd date with Pepe the pew so anyway, he was one of the ones that had called and I was

Robb (: 47:22

Right.

Robb (: 47:27

Robb (47:36.653)

you

Tina (: 47:48

No, he's like, I know we were off to good. I weren't off to a good start, but I'm not drinking as much. And I'm like, as much means you're still drinking. I can't. But yeah, so that was my I got called by Peppa the Pew today. It was literally like a 30 second to a minute date, like I just couldn't.

Robb (: 47:49

You're like, uh-uh.

Robb (: 47:56

Alright.

Robb (: 48:06

Yikes. Yeah, that's pretty gnarly.

Tina (: 48:17

And I'm again, being a people pleaser, you know, I'll stay in a comfortable situation for a while just to like hope things get better. But no, no. I was like, you're drunk. You're you're weird. You're too handsy. That's the trifecta. I got to go.

Robb (: 48:25

Right.

Robb (: 48:34

Right, right. Yeah, I mean, I get it. It's again, I think you have to.

Robb (: 48:44

You just have to keep people at a very, very, very long arms length. If and if you're uncomfortable, even via the first message, you just have to really, really cut them off and just be done and be like, okay, got to go. Like I can't do this wasn't good the first time. I'm not trying to be mean, but or you just have to go with the old I'm with somebody.

Tina (: 49:01

Yeah.

Robb (: 49:14

You know, I think that that's that will definitely get people

Tina (: 49:16

Yep.

Robb (: 49:24

you know, moving generally.

Tina (: 49:27

That doesn't work for women though because okay, so there was this guy that I had met really liked him we had really good conversations and everything and then He's like, before we go out I got to tell you I'm married and I was like gotta go not gonna do this with you. I Blocked him. did everything. Well, he found my social media and Found a way to get into where he try to talk to me again and I was like look, are you still married and he's

like yeah and I'm like then I'm still not interested you know like quit calling but it seemed like that fueled his fire and he just kept trying and kept trying till finally I figured out how to get rid of him completely and I haven't heard from him since but I'm almost afraid to not say his name three times because it could happen like Beetlejuice like we could be like where are these guys coming from because I don't know

Robb (: 50:16

Hehehe.

Right. Yeah, I, yes. I think you again, some people, doesn't matter. They will. They just won't give up no matter what you do. And, and look, I, at some point they will. But I

I just think that it's in the best interest of everyone involved that if that if it goes down that road, you just really, really have to cut people off and do it in the best way possible. You know, and that's on both sides. That's you know, if that's a guy to a girl or a girl to a guy like as again, nobody I would never want to hurt anyone's feelings, you know.

purposely, mostly if I know them well. You know what I mean? You know, two dates in, I might be a little more mean. Just because I don't know you.

Tina (: 51:25

Well, I think it was pretty mean how I did what I did, but I was like, no, not doing it at all. When you show up drunk and you're handsy and I couldn't.

Robb (: 51:34

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 51:42

Right, that's a whole other. That's a whole other thing, I think. That's like, okay, come on. You know, you

Tina (: 51:50

Meow.

Robb (: 51:53

Yeah, and I mean, thankfully, I've never had to deal with showing up to a date and they were drunk. I think that would just be a whole other. That's a whole other type of person.

Tina (: 52:09

Well, and then I said that to him and he said, well, I was nervous and I'm like, then say you're nervous, but don't show up all. Like a totally different person.

Robb (: 52:17

on

Robb (: 52:21

Yeah, I couldn't. That's a it's a bit much. You know what I mean? Like, that's pretty wild.

Tina (: 52:25

Yeah, no.

It was pretty funny though. Cause I didn't go into the story story, but like when I'm telling my friends, they are dying at what I said and how I, how I handled myself. Cause yeah, the D it's, it's all in the details, but he just was weird. We'll just put it like that.

Robb (: 52:30

Yeah.

Robb (: 52:49

Yeah, I mean that's a little... psycho.

Tina (: 52:53

the

Robb (: 52:53

Yeah, and look, I've been on some like interesting dates with people, but never drunk. Not from the beginning. Fuck that. I think that one would get me a little like. Whoa.

Tina (: 53:10

Well, like if we had gone out and we were getting along well and we both got shitfaced, that's totally acceptable. But you don't show up to a date already messed up and kind of slur in your words.

Robb (: 53:20

Well, yes, I mean, like, that's just that's a wild one. That's just too much for me. I would have to mail.

Tina (: 53:26

I could tell you more I Could tell you more yeah, you have to bail you sure do

Robb (: 53:32

You know?

You have to bail. just got to go. Got to go. Like, because odd.

Tina (: 53:39

Yeah. So I call my cousin right before I get on the date, right? And then I called her like not even two minutes later and she's like, are you OK? What happened? Like she was all scared because I never would call her back like that. And then I told her the story. We laughed that it was a 45 minute drive because of traffic and everything. And we laughed the whole way home about that. Like I told I told the story, though, gave her like all the details.

It was crazy. Yeah.

Robb (: 54:09

Yeah, that's a much. mean, I don't know. without again, just I would say be careful with what you say to people because people are crazy. Unfortunately, and secondly, like I would say at whatever time in your life, mostly right now. You just kind of have to you just kind of have to be like, look. I I'm.

I can't do this. Like. Yeah, I mean. Because like, no, no. It's it's just too much, I think, mostly these days. Last thing I want to do is get caught up in anything. Psychotic and and people that will just suck the life out of you.

Tina (: 54:42

Right? I won't do this.

Tina (: 55:05

Yeah. No, there's... I'm telling myself, it's not like I've never gone back and dated somebody that I once dated, but I find that that's just a dumb way to be. Best to make new mistakes than the same mistake.

Robb (: 55:09

Cause they will.

Robb (: 55:28

I generally believe that. mean, it's again, and like I said, I, I think time changes things like I would say if if it's under 10 years, I would say, yeah, because most people don't. But you know,

Tina (: 55:30

Yeah

Robb (: 55:57

I'm not one to say no.

Tina (: 55:57

But do they really? Like you've gone back. Does anything really change? Not too much.

Robb (: 56:02

not much. I mean, I will tell you that like I've, I've seen somebody after a lot of years and I'm talking a lot, like almost 30 and definitely different, but you know, they were also very, very, very young when I dated them. So of course they're going to be different. They were like 18 years old. So, you know, I've

They they obviously grew up because they were teenager. So I think that's a little different. But like I said, I think that if it's if it's five years, four years later, they probably haven't changed. It's just it's not very likely because well,

You know, you just don't change after that amount of time. You just don't. what's your last word on this one for you?

Tina (: 57:08

you just don't.

Tina (: 57:13

Don't go back, make different mistakes.

Robb (: 57:17

I would say that's pretty keen advice. I would also say use your best judgment when it comes to things like this. We live in a very bizarre world and I think a lot of people have agendas and I think there's people who don't. If you think that they do, get out quick.

Tina (: 57:46

Yep. Save yourself.

Robb (: 57:47

that would be all.

Totally agree. Hey, last month, we had the best month we've ever had ever.

Tina (: 57:58

That's awesome.

Robb (: 57:59

Pretty amazing, pretty amazing. Lots and lots of people. So thank you to everyone who listened last month. And keep sharing, because that's, I'm assuming that's also what's happening, because lots of different places have been listening. Like we had some, we had some odd countries. Yeah, like pretty wild things.

Tina (: 58:22

Really?

Robb (: 58:28

Here, I'll tell you some of the ones real quick.

Robb (: 58:36

see.

Yeah, it was like a...

We had some in like, think Dominican Republic.

Tina (: 58:46

Say what?

Robb (: 58:47

Yeah, we had, let's see, Brazil, some Brazil, India.

Robb (: 59:01

What was the one? Oh, Bangladesh, Chile, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Trinidad. So. Yeah, yeah, pretty wild. Pretty wild. So thanks a lot for everybody who's listened. Keep sharing, please. That's super awesome for us. And it's an opinion show. Don't get it twisted. Keep coming back every Wednesday. I'm Rob, that's Tina, and we'll see you later. Bye.

Tina (: 59:08

That's insane.

Tina (: 59:26

See ya.