EP # 213 How easy it is to mess up a relationship.

Robb (: 00:00

And welcome to another show. Don't get this twisted. I am Rob along with my co-host as always, Tina. How you doing, Tina? Same as yesterday. Ish? Right.

Tina (: 00:06

Hanging in there Rob No, okay. I'm hanging in there

Robb (: 00:18

Right, right. No, I hear you. I kind of I'm kind of in the same ballpark. I'm just kind of like, I don't know what's going on. You know, still at home, this whole shoulder thing is. Bugging out. Oh, no, I'm I'm I'm probably at 50 percent. I probably I probably won't go back for quite a while, unfortunately. Yeah, and now my work's like stressing me and I have to call doctors.

Tina (: 00:20

you

Tina (: 00:27

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 00:34

Still not getting the full range of motion.

Tina (: 00:41

Wow.

Robb (: 00:46

and have them hit facts and email and do all this stuff. It's crazy. It's crazy. But anyway, what do do? You know. That's it. Got to live. Got to keep on living. So. Yesterday we talked and if I guess if you're listening to this, we recorded we're recording two in one week because we didn't do it.

Tina (: 00:58

grin and bear it. Yep.

Thanks.

Robb (: 01:17

Yesterday was actually pretty good one. I listened back and it was pretty good episode. I was pretty proud of it actually. Today we're going to talk. I was I think I heard it on another podcast. That's probably why I brought it up. How easy it is to mess up your relationship. In these modern times. Because it is I mean it's probably

Tina (: 01:25

Hmm.

Robb (: 01:46

Probably, he's been very easy. I just didn't mess him up when I was younger, at least not right away, or not very quickly. Mine were always like really long until I fucked him up. Where now, man, it's just, I think it's just so easy at our age because you just won't deal with shit.

Because I we're just kind of like, And I also think that the.

The dating apps or that kind of thing. It's people just think it's much easier to to find someone new. I don't I think it's 100 % not true, but I think the thought behind it is that oh, it's just going to be easy.

Tina (: 02:37

I don't know about that.

Tina (: 02:46

Because all I hear men say is that they don't even get hit up on the app. So that would make it not easier for men right there. And for women, I would say, when I've been on the sites, it's it's a shitshow. You know, you might as well go to a dive bar, sit with the locals that are drunk all the time. might get, like, I don't know, better people out of it.

Robb (: 02:55

Yes.

Robb (: 03:14

This is what I usually say. I totally agree. think for men, look, dating apps are a total scam. I know we've done some online dating shows way, way back in the past, but then I've really looked into the statistics part of it. It's absurd. Men...

rarely get hit up, like rarely, it's not very often. And then women, like 90 % of the women are fighting for 2 % of the men. Because like, you know, if you're a decent looking guy, all the women are are hoping to match with you. it's an illusion to pay them, is what it is. It's they want you to pay

for the the site and that's how they get you. Where I would say the only one that I that I hear from other people that actually works pretty well is Facebook dating. That would be and that's from the mouth of my kid. Which yeah which I don't think he's used it but I think just from what he has heard because we were in a car the other day and I just happened to talk about you

Tina (: 04:25

Really?

Robb (: 04:34

dating and because he's been with his girl a while now and and he even he was like I don't ever want to he goes I'm gonna make this shit work because like it's a shit show and he goes I hate I hate the the meeting part I hate you know any of that kind of shit and I was like yeah yeah it sucks it's horrible

Tina (: 05:02

Well, I think it's across the board horrible for everybody,

Robb (: 05:04

I think it is, but look, mean, have it easier, maybe not on the dating apps, but like in regular life, I think women have it easier. Like we've talked about it before, it's much easier for you to walk into a bar, assuming you only want sex.

Tina (: 05:30

Yeah.

Robb (: 05:30

It's easy. The dating part, yeah, the sex part for you guys is it's like fishing in a barrel. All you'd have to do is go down the line. You could have 20 guys in a bar, someone's going home with you. It's, you know what I mean? It's like, you might not get the pick of the litter, but you're definitely going to fulfill the need where a guy, it's that never happens. You can't just walk into a bar.

Tina (: 05:32

I'll give you that.

Tina (: 05:53

But you realize that women's bodies don't work that way. So filling a need doesn't really fill the need because without connection women don't get the same experience. So that's where it makes it harder for women.

Robb (: 06:07

Correct. Right. And I think long-term, like, once you're in a relationship, you know, since we're talking, like, how easy it is to mess it up.

I mean, I'll tell you firsthand because I can do it in a week. And I have done it in a week. So for me, it's like you find yourself, you say one thing wrong or you do something wrong or then you start questioning something. And I'm talking about early relationships like, you know, within six months where you're just, you know, something to pop off on a weekend. And then you're like, fuck, what am I doing?

Tina (: 06:23

you

Robb (: 06:50

you start questioning shit. And at least at this age, I didn't do that when I was younger because we didn't have the responsibilities and we also didn't have the short time left where you're like, fuck it, I'll just find somebody else later on. You know what I mean? I would get broke up with when I was younger and go, all right, I'll be all right. Because you would. At some point you would, I mean, I remember

Tina (: 07:08

Yeah.

Tina (: 07:13

Thank

Yep.

Robb (: 07:20

I being in a relationship with somebody, then it going sideways and then ended up sleeping with somebody at my work. That like as an no, no, no, no, no, no, But I mean, very short, not too long after that, because like once, once everyone, you know, once people find out that you're that you're single again, like everyone comes out of the woodwork that.

Tina (: 07:34

same day? What are you talking about? Okay, keep going. Okay.

Robb (: 07:49

will tell you now that they had some kind of crush on you. I think women get it way worse.

Tina (: 07:59

I experienced that after I got divorced and I was so stinking surprised. I was like, wait, what? Shut up. Like I said that at least four times. I'm like, shut up. You're being stupid. never. I didn't have any clue. And I'm like, are you telling the truth or are you just interested now? Because I'm single. Like just tell the truth.

Robb (: 08:09

yeah. Yeah, you know, I've, I've

Tina (: 08:27

I don't know it seemed like they were telling the truth

Robb (: 08:31

got it where it's way years later from people in, like way years later when you're like with people from high school or junior high where they're like, oh yeah, we had a crush on you. And you're like, what? Like, wait a second. Like, there's no way. So that kind of thing. I think with,

Tina (: 08:35

Yes, way.

Robb (: 08:54

When I got divorced, I really didn't have that happen. But that could be because I was like really to myself and I really wasn't really was not in a good place during that that situation. So the last thing that I was looking for is that. But I will say, you know, once. I knew it was over over. And and that's when

That's when our 20th high school reunion was. And then I was like, well, fuck it. This is done, done. It's time to go. And then that evening was like an interesting thing. I met someone that night and it was a wild time. That was a wild time for me. But I will tell you that like,

Tina (: 09:28

yeah.

Tina (: 09:37

Yeah.

Robb (: 09:51

I had what I thought was a relationship that was growing with somebody that I knew for a long time, long time. And

was out visiting her. Went really well. And then I ended up going back again. And literally in a week, it fell apart like a building was falling down around me. Yeah, well, where I now think there was

There was a lot of feelings, I think.

100 % positive. But I also think that there was other things in my mind going on that probably weren't healthy. But I also think at the very end of that situation, was a she thought something happened and it didn't. But I think she looked at it that way because I was you know, moods change. So and then once I'm

mood change, people don't communicate, and then the next thing you know, you are just not on the same page. And then things just slowly deteriorate. And I think that's what happened with me. like it's...

Robb (: 11:29

It probably is for the best. You know, looking back on it. Because it's just easier to look back on it now and go, yeah, that probably wasn't going to work out for me. For a lot of different reasons. So look, I mean, I think at the end of the day, you kind of have to look at it in the scheme of things of, you know, what's worth fighting for.

or what's the reality of the relationship? Because it's easy to have a whirlwind, right? And things are just happening so quickly. And yeah, those are fun to get on, man. It's like a fucking roller coaster. Yeah, and I think in this case we were...

Tina (: 12:19

They also say that those burn out the fastest.

Robb (: 12:31

We were riding a train and I think that I had feelings for other people that were still lingering. And I think that I was always thinking of what could have been or what could happen. And...

Tina (: 12:50

Well, that'll change what happens in a relationship.

Robb (: 12:52

100 % I mean, 100 % and matter of fact, it I was the relationship before that.

the same thing happened. But it was a longer relationship. It was like six months. But that one also had some issues with like time management. She was just really busy, had smaller children, you know that. And when when you have no children that can and I'm and I'm going to say this, I don't mean it the way that it sounds, but it's going to sound bad. know, children that are not in the way. You know, you have older children, so

Tina (: 13:29

Mmm.

Robb (: 13:30

they're doing their own shit. Like they're not, it's not something you have to worry about. And so when you get with somebody who has smaller children and you're you have lots of time and they have small amounts of time, it that's never going to be a working relationship. Yeah, because you're like, fuck, I want to do something or I want to see you and they're like, I'm busy and I'm doing this and I'm doing that and I'm

Tina (: 13:36

Right.

Tina (: 13:50

Well, yeah, because you'll always be sitting there alone.

Robb (: 14:00

taking the kids here. you know, where I think older children are a tad bit easier, you know, and if they're like over 21, then they're, you know, they're their own people, even though they may be in the same house still, you know, it's easier. But even that can mess up a relationship.

You know, relationships with your children can end up being, you know, an issue. you, you know, if you have, if your kids are in your shit all the time, it's going to be a problem. It's just going to be, even if they're older. And I've seen it with friends that are close to me, where they're just up their ass with a flashlight or they're, or they're bringing their kids over.

Tina (: 14:42

going to be a problem.

Robb (: 14:56

and like dropping them off and not saying anything. And you're like, you know, I got a life too. So, you know, I can see how all these things can mess up a relationship fairly quickly. Even if you go into it with your eyes wide open.

Tina (: 15:04

Yep.

Tina (: 15:14

Well, so, but let's skip, let's think about it. What, how do you mess up or like, what things do you come up with that you've messed up a relationship within a week? Like would being your, you're an over thinker, you'll think yourself out of things.

Robb (: 15:26

I think it's all in my own head telling myself With a hundred percent I mean with about a About a hundred and twenty five percent. I can talk myself out of a good thing in no time

Tina (: 15:36

No, say it isn't so.

Tina (: 15:44

Yeah, and yet you'll go down with a sinking ship.

Robb (: 15:44

Yeah, because... Right, which also doesn't make any sense. Yeah, like, I'll chase a ship that I shouldn't even be on.

Tina (: 15:52

Yeah, that's kind of crazy.

Tina (: 15:58

So maybe that goes with the whole men being the aggressors or the chasers or the... That's genetically where you should be. Genetically. I'm not saying that that's going to work in practical terms all the times, but...

Robb (: 16:09

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Robb (: 16:15

I mean, but you are sort of right. You know what mean? And look, but now here's the flip side of that. To keep that relationship, I think both sides have to chase once you're in it. You know, men also want to be appreciated. They don't just want to be a fucking worker bee.

Tina (: 16:27

For sure. For sure.

Tina (: 16:35

I get that.

Robb (: 16:36

Because if you're just the worker bee, you're going to find that someone else starts appreciating you and you're going to go off and do something wrong or bad.

Tina (: 16:48

Yeah, no, but I agree with that. you as a woman, you should, you know, do things to make them feel special. But pursuing them or going after them, like you said, that's that's a very male thing to do. That's which men are supposed to do or they're told to do or they're built to do.

Robb (: 17:09

We're built to do. think that's a, I think you're correct. It's a genetic thing. It's, it's just thousands of years of DNA.

Tina (: 17:14

So.

Tina (: 17:21

So how is that a bad thing?

Robb (: 17:25

I don't think it's a bad thing, but I also think that, look, there's always, there can be too much of a good thing. Right? So, and you, I think too much attention can get you in trouble. You can be too attentive. You can be, you can, know, cause some people, women included,

Tina (: 17:35

you.

Robb (: 17:55

sometimes feel that you're just up their ass with a flashlight and and you can

Tina (: 17:59

Yeah, I get like that very quickly. if somebody's somebody you don't need to be that attentive to me because I'm cool without that and I and I do find that when people are over attentive I tend to not believe they're there.

Robb (: 18:19

story.

Tina (: 18:21

Not their story, but like their intentions. You know what I mean? It's like, why are you so up my ass? I'm sitting here with you. What more do you need?

Robb (: 18:24

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 18:28

Right. And look, I, like I said, I, I don't, I don't think that that's a bad thing per se. Look, everyone likes attention. I, but you're right. There is something. It's like too much. There's too much cake. You know what I mean? It's like, I'm Okay. Now my teeth hurt. Okay. Now I'm going to throw up. Like I've had too much sugar. yeah.

Tina (: 18:43

There's a threshold of it. Yeah.

Tina (: 18:50

at you.

Tina (: 18:55

Now I need to breathe.

Robb (: 18:57

And look, I like spending time with people. There's just different kinds of things that you can do to mess things up. I've been called a little too much. I've been called obsessive. So.

You know, mean, like I like to, if I like somebody, I'm going to want to spend time with them. That's just a fact. mean, that's part of the whole relationship thing though, is that one of the greatest things I've ever heard about relationships is that you have to be able to spend time with them when you absolutely have nothing to do and be okay with it.

Tina (: 19:26

Yeah.

Tina (: 19:44

Yeah, well, that's what I was thinking, because I was like, if I was to be with somebody again, I want somebody who will just be OK in the quiet time. Like, let me do my thing, them do their thing. We're still in the same place. But just not being overly over on the attentive side for me, because.

Robb (: 19:54

Yeah.

Tina (: 20:10

I don't know. I've just never been with people that were all that attentive if you really want to know the truth. I mean even with my dad, my dad's like he'll blow you off for days. So I'm good at being alone and doing my own thing, but I still like having somebody around.

Robb (: 20:26

Yeah, see, I think that that's kind of where I'm at, that I've been alone so long that, know, not that I, and I want to say that I feel crushed because I don't, I don't feel crushed. I just feel like,

Okay. In general, it's like, do I need a relationship? You know what I mean? It's like, there's so many good things about being in relationship. But then there's the freedom of being single and not having to worry about anything. No. Yeah.

Tina (: 21:06

that. I just want to get back to the place where I could walk naked in my own home again. Like this living here is not conducive to keeping a relationship so I think that that's another thing they could break it up but yeah. I think for relationships not living with other people is a good thing too.

Robb (: 21:19

Right. I mean. I'm 100 percent that's kind of what I was told years ago when I had a roommate, a girl that I liked even kind of told me that she was like, look, you know, you're you're a great guy, but.

You know, living with another girl is not going to be on the radar of a woman who wants to be with you. And.

Tina (: 21:54

I think that's more so for a man than a woman. I think that women expect more from men, especially in the beginning, than what a man would expect from a woman. Like if I was to date, I don't think they'd give a shit that much as long as they have their own place.

Robb (: 22:13

Yeah, think. I think yes, I think a guy OK, I think guys just don't give a shit when it comes to like things like that. I'll give you the example too that I've heard from lots of different people where women, you know, and I'm going to use the bell curve, so I don't want anyone mad at me. But using the bell curve, because there's going to be some that are and some that aren't, but the middle ground.

You know, women give a shit on a first date what you do in life. Like, what do do for a living? You know, and not that I've been asked how much I make, but I've heard stories of people asking that. Where a guy, most guys give two shits what you do for a living. They don't care. They don't care what you bring to the table. But the first time a guy hears, so what do you bring to the table? He's going to

Tina (: 23:05

Hmm.

Robb (: 23:11

tell you to fuck off is what he's bringing to the table. Because here's the thing, I want peace. I want somebody who's going to want to come home to me at night. And like, I don't want to park my car in the driveway and go.

Tina (: 23:22

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 23:28

Son of a bitch. Like, yeah, I don't want to do that. Or I don't want to like hope that the guys at work go, hey, man, we're going to go out to watch the game tonight. You want to go? Yep, sure do. Don't I never want to be in a relationship like that. Because like I want to be able to be in a relationship where I can go home at night. We can both go outside and grill and sit at a table outside and eat dinner with the dog.

Tina (: 23:29

That's horrible.

Tina (: 23:42

I don't blame you.

Tina (: 23:58

Absolutely.

Robb (: 23:58

laying on the floor next to me. That's what I want. And look, I like, I don't mind going out and doing things. That's the only thing that I think me as in my own person, I'm just boring. So people, so people like, they, they want to do shit. And I'm like, I don't like human beings. So I really don't want to do it. And, and that's where my, my thing gets because I don't have to do anything.

Tina (: 24:14

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 24:29

And I haven't had to do them for so long. So if I want to come home and I want to pick up a controller and play video games, that's what I'm doing. If I want to watch the hockey game, that's what I do. No one will ever say anything to me. As long as you're single. Well, that's what I mean. Like, but that's what makes that single life the single life where you don't have to worry about. And again, using the bell curve, women making plans and then you having to go.

Tina (: 24:41

Well yeah, cause you don't live with them. Cause you're single.

Robb (: 24:57

Because if you don't go, then you're on the shit list. So you're you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. But then if you go and you're fucking miserable.

You know, then that then you're on the shit list or it's a rough ride home or when you get home, you're like they want to. Why were you being a dick? And it's like, OK, well, I said I didn't want to go. It's like, yeah, but you never want to go. OK, I don't want to go. I don't like fucking human beings. I don't want to go hang out at a bar until two in the morning. It's don't like. Yeah, and look, every blue moon is great.

Tina (: 25:08

Then you're on the shit list.

Tina (: 25:31

get you. I never wanted to do that.

Robb (: 25:37

Like, I think everyone should do something once or twice a month. I think that that's healthy. Like, you should go out and do things. Or if you want to go to Disneyland, or if you want to go, you know, wherever, Vegas, you want to travel across the country, you want to, you know, whatever it is, you should do things with your mate all the time. And I think that that's But, you know,

I think that's why it's so easy to mess up relationships now. Because men and women were just different. You guys are much more social creatures, generally. That's why you all have girlfriends that you go out with. Where men don't generally do that. We just don't.

Tina (: 26:19

I'm the most, yeah.

Tina (: 26:24

It's funny because I probably am on the high side of having friends and doing stuff with my friends and going places and traveling and stuff. I have a really good group of friends I do stuff with all the time. So I'm fortunate for that. But I know that in a relationship, I know that guys don't like that. They don't want to be around people all the time. They want more of like their sanctuary. They want quiet. They want to they want to sit back and chill. And that's fine. But.

Robb (: 26:36

you

Well, that's kind of what I'm Right.

Tina (: 26:52

I'm still going to do what I want to do. I'll try to involve him if he doesn't want to go. I won't care. But at some point he needs to connect with me. But I kind of like, I kind of like the, well not, he doesn't need to go anywhere or do anything, but he does need to make some time where he's not, you know, where he's dialed in. But I do too, because I could stay gone all freaking weekend and not be dialed in at all. And I'm good at that too.

Robb (: 27:14

It's I was talking to somebody the other day about. We were talking about, like, just dating in general and how it's different and where I think men, I hate to say that I've been red pill, but I'll say that I've been red pill. I watch a lot of red pill is like someone who.

Tina (: 27:38

What does that mean?

Robb (: 27:43

So if you ever saw the Matrix, the red pill is like the truth and the blue pill is is basically where you hear what you want to hear. Red pill is like where someone tells you so much about a certain subject that it changes your mind. Where I watch a lot of YouTube things on on dating and and just how we're so different now as men and women where men now are.

I've heard lots of guys in the red pill Manosphere is what they call it where they'll talk like where guys are like, yeah if you if If your girlfriend early in the dating pool like wants to go on a Vegas trip with her girls And you say don't go and she goes fuck her leave her Like these are the things that are being said between men and women now

And women are doing the same shit. There definitely is a woman's fear as well where this is why no one wants to date anymore because everyone has these things where they're just like, no, I'm not doing that anymore. I don't want my girlfriend to go out and get drunk with her friends. Why? It just leads to bad shit. And it does. And it's a fact. And vice versa. think men are less likely to do it.

just because I don't think we're built the same. Where, and I don't think men, men are, so if I went to my friend and said, and I'm talking about my male friends, my close male friends, and was like, yeah, you know, I'm dating this girl and things really aren't going the greatest. But you know, I'm gonna see what happens. Most of the time a guy will be like, all right, cool dude, good luck. Where,

I think if women go to their friends there and if they're single friends, it's way worse. They'll just be like, fuck that guy. You should leave him. You'll find somebody new. So we're damned if we're doing that, we don't wear our male friends are like, I try to make it work, bro. She seemed pretty cool or I've met her and I like her. So, you know, don't give up on it too soon. I agree. I'm like I said.

Tina (: 29:47

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 29:58

Girls do say that to other girls too though. I've said many a times, you know, don't screw it up. Because it's a good thing, you know. I get you.

Robb (: 30:07

I'm using the bell curve, like the middle ground of people. And again, I could be 100 % wrong and this is all just YouTube nonsense, which also wouldn't surprise me, right? Because it's content. So, you you want people to keep coming back and watching your channel and you want people to, you know, that's how these people make money. But I've seen a lot of TikToks, unfortunately.

I wish TikTok would just go the fuck away because I think it's brain rot. But I do all go on it because like it's great for this show because I'll hear shit and go, yeah, we got to talk about that nonsense. And I think that there's a lot of women on there and look, there's a lot of men to there's there is the manosphere that's on there. I don't want to I don't want to say that it's just the female side.

But but women are crazy, man. They see the craziest shit about dudes and then bitch and moan that they can't get a date. It's the wildest thing I saw this girl on there. And I don't mean to throw politics in it, but this is kind of the funny part of it. She's like a stout liberal, like just, you know, everything friendly, you name it. Yeah, just I mean, super liberal. And she's just like, why are the only guys that'll do

Tina (: 31:09

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 31:24

purple hair.

Robb (: 31:32

You know, like manly shit. Why are they all conservative? I want to find a guy like this who's a liberal and the. What people were saying in the comments was the funniest shit in the world. They're like you are barking up the wrong tree lady. Like this is why you want all this shit that conservative men generally do, but you want them to believe in everything you do that it's an oxymoron. It's never going to help. You know, it's never going to happen because she's like all these other guys there.

They don't want to do anything and they're all feminine and they don't want to, you know, they all want, you know, they'll let me do everything and like I'll buy dinner and they're like, they don't give a shit. It's like, okay, well. So this is the whole part with the whole dating thing in general and why it's so easy to mess things up because you can go out on a date. You can go on 25 dates with somebody and like have a great time. And then one thing that said will ruin it in a heartbeat.

And they'll just go off the rails. And like I said, I don't think that it's a new thing per se, but I just think it's easier because the the illusion that it's easy to find somebody. You know, it's it and it's not the I forgot what we were going to talk about at one point, but it.

Tina (: 32:31

All

Robb (: 32:49

it's there is an illusion of choice right people think that that the more things you have the easier it is to choose which is totally untrue it's easier to choose when you have the more choices you have the harder it is 100 but people don't think that they're just like it's so much easier where if you only have three things it's much easier to choose because you're going to break those three things down to

Tina (: 33:02

the more choices you have, the harder it is. Yeah.

Robb (: 33:17

You know, it's like a car. If you have the choice of five colors, and if you like them all, it's worse. You're like, well, the pearl white looks bitchin', but so is the orange and the red is so pretty. it's like, you're screwed. If you look at a car and you're like, man, I fucking hate that blue, that blue is ugly. This is bad. I like the gray, the black and the blue.

You're way better off. So I think in general with this whole relationship thing and dating as an older person, you can talk yourself out of things so much quicker where you're just like, do I really want to do this? Where I think, you know, and then I think days later you can find yourself going.

Tina (: 34:05

Absolutely.

Robb (: 34:12

yeah, I'm doing the wrong thing because you have more time to think about it instead of just thinking about it on the short term. Where you're like, you know, like this is a great person and maybe I'm not giving this a shot because I find it easier to just run.

And I think that's the bigger thing these days too, is that people just think it's easier to run instead of staying with a connection. And if you have a connection, I think you should try to definitely water it. I mean, can look at my friend down the street, even though I haven't really chatted with her in a while. But I mean, she found somebody in a year and got married. Which, look, I think is...

I've heard crazier stories, to be fair. I heard a story. Look, it's definitely not the norm, but I heard, I forgot who the actor was. I just read it the other day on somewhere. This actor met his wife and married her 14 days later. And they were together, they.

Tina (: 35:07

Yeah, but that's just... whatever.

Robb (: 35:31

are still together as far as I know and it's been like 68 years. So yeah, like it can happen or maybe 60 years. So it can definitely happen. Correct.

Tina (: 35:39

It can happen, but the chances like we're talking about stuff in today's day and age the stuff people that they get together like that they They rarely if ever have that kind of staying power because they don't know each other well enough to know if they're gonna even Connect on the big things

Robb (: 35:59

Yeah, and I think, look, the small things are another thing that can just really put a dent in things. You definitely have to communicate, and I think that if you do communicate, you can make a relationship work. But I think if you communicate, you can also break it just because you might say the wrong things to somebody where they're just not ready to hear it.

Tina (: 36:06

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 36:27

You know what I think that the funny part is you meet somebody and they're like, I just want to be friends. I'd be like, cool, because that's what I want to be too. You should always be friends first before you try to make it anything other than that. Otherwise, you're missing out on a big portion of it. So I kind of like hearing, they just wanted to be friends or it's like, you, you let go. Now, if they really didn't want to be your friend, let that shit go. But

Robb (: 36:43

You

Tina (: 36:58

If they were saying, know, I really want to be friends with you Do that get a good friendship out of it get you know If it's meant to be something on I'll change or whatever But I kind of like when somebody says I want to be your friend not I want to get in your pants

Robb (: 37:13

I think that's a good thing as long as you're not like meeting them on a dating app. If you're meeting somebody on a dating app and you tell me you want to be friends, I'll never call you again. Yeah, okay, I'm okay with that.

Tina (: 37:30

Yeah, get that. Well, it's after knowing them a few times and then you're like, friends. be like, if I liked them as a friend, I'll be like, cool, let's do that. Because I would rather get a good friend out of it anyway.

Robb (: 37:43

Yeah, I although I have heard I forgot where I saw it I want to say it was on YouTube as well. It was like a dating show and This girl was like telling this guy like I just want to be friends and he go and dead-ass looked at her and goes I have enough friends. I don't need I Came here to have a date if you don't want to date me cool, but I'm not

You know, and I think that there's I think that's also okay. Like it's okay to tell people like I got enough friends. I don't need anymore. I went on a date with somebody. I thought was really good. And then I went on another date with her and I thought it was really cool. Like we connected. We talked a lot and then. But I she was also in a weird place with work in there.

Tina (: 38:11

For sure. Where she's at, for sure.

Robb (: 38:35

other things that were involved. And then I had text her again and was like, hey, like, you know, do you want to do something? And she was really upfront. She's like, look, I don't want to date anyone right now. I was seeing what was going on then. Didn't work, you know, like it's not that I don't want to date you. I just don't want to date in general. And I was like, cool, like, I'm OK with that. And.

Because then it gives me the opportunity to say, cool, if you want to just go to dinner, let's go to dinner and hang out. And because then, you know, up front, like this isn't going to go anywhere but hanging out for dinner. I'm OK with that. And I thought it was very good of her to say that. Because then there was I didn't have the misconception of and then it gave me the out of like, OK, well, I just won't call her anymore. Then.

Tina (: 39:11

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 39:30

Yeah.

Robb (: 39:33

There's no harm, foul. Everybody, you know, she can't be asked her over it for me not calling her. Because you gave me the out of not doing it and then vice versa. If I and if I do call her, then it's on me. Like I can't go into that thinking there's going to be any feelings. They're just you just don't. So, I mean, look. It's I find it very easy.

Tina (: 39:41

That's true.

Tina (: 39:52

Yeah.

Robb (: 40:02

I think it's easy to fuck up a relationship if you're if you don't communicate. If if something happens and. Well, cheating is a whole other monster. That but that's I think not. I mean, that's doing it purposely. You know what I mean? Like. Once once you guys, let's say you're in a relationship, if you cheat and no one knows, then look, that's a whole.

Tina (: 40:08

or if you cheat.

Tina (: 40:12

That'll, that'll fuck up a relationship.

Robb (: 40:31

monster that's over anyway. And look, if people are doing other things outside, the relationships probably fucked up anyway. And again, I'm using the bell curve on that. Like, sometimes that's not true. People cheat for weird different reasons. Men, think generally cheat just to

Tina (: 40:46

for sure.

Robb (: 40:59

have physical contact because maybe they're not getting it at home. And I think women generally cheat for emotional support because they're not getting it at home. Someone's making them feel good because the person who they're with isn't. So cheating is a whole lot. To me now, if you cheat, fuck off. It's not even, I wouldn't even cater the idea of trying to fix it. In a short term.

Tina (: 41:15

Yeah.

Robb (: 41:29

I mean, married's a whole other monster. Then there's, I think, much bigger issues of why things happened and you know what I mean? Like, because you could, you may be able to fix that. Look, I'm giving it the thin line at the end, may. Probably not. I think men who get cheated on,

Tina (: 41:45

Mmm.

Tina (: 41:52

Yeah.

Robb (: 41:59

I saw some statistics, I think on a podcast one time. Men generally never get over it ever. Like if their wife cheats on them, they never get over it. They're like, nope, and it'll probably never work. Where women are a little more forgiving. No, but I think forgiving is different, where I think a man will just say, fuck off and leave. And just be done.

Tina (: 42:18

I don't think anybody gets over it to be honest with you.

Robb (: 42:29

Where women, think, look, I guess it all matters why I would rather be cheated on. For physical than emotional. Because if someone's filling your emotional need, there's a much larger problem. Where a physical need is something that's being that's, you know, you're doing it for just filling a hole. You know, and no pun intended. You know, and now.

Tina (: 42:55

you

Robb (: 42:58

Now, if it happened, like, I'm also not a fan of like, I was drunk. No. I've been pretty I've been hammered. Yep, you too. If I'm doing it, I'm if I'm doing it, I mean to do it. Yeah, 100 percent. That's not even.

Tina (: 43:06

You know, I've been drunk several times in my life and I always know what I'm doing. So that's not a, not ever gonna be an excuse. And you know you're doing it. I agree with that.

Robb (: 43:26

It's not even close to now. I've also never been blackout drunk. Because I know where I stand on my limit. I just won't go past that. That that's 100 % because if you're blacked out, you're probably no one knows what's going on.

Tina (: 43:40

And if you're gay, it doesn't matter. Unless you were raped, there's no excuse for messing around with somebody else when you're in a relationship. There's just not.

Tina (: 43:54

You probably were. shouldn't be doing shit that you weren't supposed to be doing already.

Robb (: 43:58

Correct. Yeah, that's a good point. But, you know, like, again, like you can I think in today's day and age, messing up a relationship doesn't take much because if you're an overthinker and you're in your own head, you can end a relationship because you think, you know, maybe I can be with someone else or maybe this is better or, you know, maybe this isn't

we're not right for each other. And then you talk yourself into, you're not right for each other, even though you've been together five months and it's been great. You know what I mean? Instead of just going to the person and going, this happened, I'm sorry, but maybe I was wrong. It's a rough thing. just think relationships in general are very hard, like very hard and you have to work at them.

Tina (: 44:33

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 44:52

You absolutely do need to put effort into a relationship if you have one. There's no ways around it.

Robb (: 44:53

100 % and I think that you have to be able to, like rough patches are gonna happen. We've both been married and we've both been divorced. rough patches happen. We both get it. And I think that people who haven't been divorced, or probably

Tina (: 45:11

We both get it.

Robb (: 45:23

aren't understanding some of the things we might say because I think once you're married there's a whole other monster of legalities and again it I shouldn't even say that because you know I moved in with several women in my you know but before I got married I moved in with my ex-wife so we were together years before I ever got married

And once you move in with somebody then it's a whole, you know, it's a whole other monster. I've seen people stay with people because they couldn't afford to get out of it. Which I'll never do. I have a slush fund just for that.

Tina (: 46:03

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 46:10

Yeah, unfortunately that is true. It's some people have been

Tina (: 46:11

You know what? Though you wouldn't do it just because it's not who you are. You don't want to be miserable. A lot of these people that are doing shit like that, I think they get used to being miserable. They enjoy it. They don't know how to be nice to themselves and even be real with themselves. So they'll sit and shit for decades.

Robb (: 46:39

abused so long that they just won't. Yeah, they just think that that's what life is. Which is a whole other wild thing to me. You know, like I said, my friend, she was with somebody 17 years and he was verbally abusive. Just just really bad and. And.

Tina (: 46:44

abuse themselves.

Robb (: 47:08

Funny thing is he ended up cheating. So and that's how they she finally walked away. But, you know, look, it. I just find it now, it's just way too easy to to fuck things up. And I think that in general. We as people need to step back in relationships and kind of go, OK, you know.

it was a bad weekend or it was a bad week or it was a bad this and be able to situate your your relationship back to what it is instead of

Tina (: 47:51

You also got to remember that that's your person. That's the person you're sleeping next to every day That's the one you're spending all of your time with sharing your family with sharing you they get to see the good the bad the ugly everything and there needs to be a level of respect that you keep for one another in order for the relationship to keep going and Once you quit doing that it's doomed

Robb (: 48:09

Right. Yeah, I agree. I think that what you need to do is step back, like you said, and go, okay, this is the person that I've been having these great times with, and I can't let one little thing derail the train. Because I think that's what happens in

early relationships the train just gets derailed because you think you know either like I said I can find somebody else or or maybe this isn't for me even though it's been for you for five months you know what I mean it's like it's don't my thing is don't make it easy on yourself to just leave I think people in general you know it is easy to fuck things up

We need to make it easier to, you know, grab ahold of the relationship again and bring it back to what it really is instead of everyone being a runner.

Tina (: 49:15

Absolutely, we need to get back to putting some sort of significance on the fact that a relationship is good for you and not, you know, go from the, don't need him, I don't need her, I don't need anything. I'm just going to go get, you know, whatever it is that I want and the rest of them could just fuck off. Like people's mentalities being like that are definitely making it hard to grow old with anybody because if you're constantly thinking like that, that's exactly what you're going to get.

exactly what you're going to put out there. And it's a shame because there's so much more to life. And you know what? I like being single, I'll even stick up for be single, be married, do whatever you want to do. But try to remember that the person that you're with has a heart. And you should be cautious of what you do to that person to hurt their heart. If you love them, you keep that in mind because it's a sacrifice on both ends to be with somebody. But it's a sacrifice

Robb (: 50:04

you you

Tina (: 50:15

to be single too. But no matter what, you gotta try to be good to each other.

Robb (: 50:23

Well, that's perfect way to end it. I think that you've you've you've pretty much knocked it out of the park with that one. Well, thanks for coming on the day after the last show. And if you're listening to this eight months from now, we did back to back shows. That's why they're so close. And we're going to do our best to actually do them on Wednesdays again. just. Everyone needs to be.

Tina (: 50:26

Are we there? We're there.

Tina (: 50:32

Thanks.

Robb (: 50:50

The both me and Tina's lives need to be kind of put back into. Yeah, if I would just get healthier, it would be great. That's that's kind of where I'm at. Look, check us out on all the social medias. out there also. You can listen to this podcast pretty much frickin anywhere. It's absurd where people are listening to the show. This has been our best best month ever.

Tina (: 50:54

If mine would just slow down a little bit, that would be a good thing. So. Yeah.

Robb (: 51:21

Ever. Pretty wild. Ever. It's really wild to me. And and obviously I think people are sharing the show. So keep sharing it. If you like the show, send it to somebody else and let them take a gander. And it's an opinion show. Don't get it twisted. Keep coming back hopefully on Wednesdays. And that's Tina. I'm Rob. We'll see in a week. Bye.

Tina (: 51:23

ever, ever,

Tina (: 51:44

See ya.