EP # 112- Losing friends over political beliefs.

Robb (: 00:01

And welcome to another show of Don't Get This Twisted. I am Rob, along with my co-host, as always. Tina, how you doing, Tina?

Tina Marie Garcia (: 00:07

I'm a little tired today, Rob, how you doing?

Robb (: 00:10

I'm all right. I can see that you look like you're dragging ass just a hair

Tina Marie Garcia (: 00:14

You know sometimes life hands it to you. That is no joke.

Robb (: 00:17

Hmm. Fuck if that's not the truth. Man, you can't get any more spot on than that, yeah. And you know, here in Southern California, we have been having the craziest weather. It's been hot, sticky, and muggy. It's like the South.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 00:31

Yeah, it's kind of...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 00:35

And yet not hot enough for the pool to stay warm. So I don't know. I'm ready for some really hot weather so I could finish getting my tan before I turn translucent. And then it could turn into fall. I'm cool with that.

Robb (: 00:47

Mmm.

Robb (: 00:51

Yeah, I think you're not gonna be in luck anytime soon. It...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 00:56

I know, I know. We didn't have like a summer to be in the pool much this year. It's kind of crazy.

Robb (: 01:01

Not like a super hot mm-mm. And it looks like, yeah, it's gonna be by next weekend. It's gonna be like in the high 70s, low 80s. Pretty crazy. And that it is. Well, let's talk about what we're gonna talk about today. Someone sent this to me because I get a lot of ideas these days from people who listen.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 01:10

Dang, fall is approaching.

Robb (: 01:26

And if you'd like to hear us talk about something, please go to our Facebook and Instagram, leave us a message, or Twitter, actually. Someone said friendship as the basis is have close friends dropped off because of their profession or political beliefs.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 01:44

Hmm

Robb (: 01:46

And I found that one to be very entertaining to us because I think in today's rough climate of political beliefs that we are running into that more and more in society. Maybe not with us, although we probably have stories, but I've heard it by a lot of people. And I find it that...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 02:11

Absolutely.

Robb (: 02:15

You know, we've talked about the trying to meet in the middle thing, and these days, for some reason, there is no middle ground for any of us. I guess we can hit both of these. You know, we're in professions where. They're very. Hmm. Open, I would say, because mostly in your case, because you talk to people about everything.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 02:43

about everything.

Robb (: 02:45

I work in sales, but I work in wholesale, which is very, like I know who's coming in. There's no, we don't sell to the public. So I don't have to really worry about, so I know I can pick and choose who I speak to a certain way, because I've kind of learned a lot of our clients. So I'm a little less likely to.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 03:01

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 03:07

say the wrong thing to the wrong person. Because I've kind of put in my own head, don't talk about this with this guy. This guy I can say anything to. There's guys that drop F bombs right when they come in the store, so I know that. So I think from that standpoint, from a professional thing, I don't have to worry. But before we got on here, I was kind of talking where, if you end up dating someone, you may end up dating someone

Tina Marie Garcia (: 03:10

Hmm

Robb (: 03:37

who is in a very high profile profession, where I use a nurse as an example. If you go to a nurse's Christmas party, where we're talking about doctors that are gonna be this thing and.

where you may want to be a little more subdued because you don't want to say anything, you don't want to embarrass, you don't want to drink too much at the party. So I understand that part. And I can see where you could go to the wrong thing and a friend might get upset.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 03:59

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 04:14

Right.

Robb (: 04:14

or something to that nature. Or even going to a wedding. You go to a wedding where there's multiple friends and you may have a little too much to drink in. Next thing you know, you're waving your Trump flag in the air or your rainbow flag in the air. So either side can start getting heated very quickly.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 04:34

Hehehe

Tina Marie Garcia (: 04:41

Mm-hmm. I've been in situations where some of my closest friends, there's a group of four or five of us and one friend is very political and very open about it. I'm not at all. I quit watching TV. I don't give a shit. The less I know the better. There's been times where she's been so out of control that she makes everybody at the table pissed.

And I'm like, that's enough. That's enough. I'm like, and people have gotten up and walked out and she just doesn't get it. And I have to tell her like, you could come with us, but you need to stop at half speed. Like stop there. Don't continue. Don't rev it up anymore. Like, you know, learn to shut up about this stuff. Excuse me. I said it as...

Robb (: 05:13

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 05:25

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 05:39

Nicely as I could I did not tell her to shut up, but at some point I literally did say look Shut up. We're not talking about that here Take it down. Like I don't want to deal with this right now And if you don't you won't be coming with us She she apologized after the fact because she knows that when I finally get to the point where I say something Somebody's out of hand, you know because I don't

Robb (: 05:41

Hehehe

Tina Marie Garcia (: 06:06

I'll let people spin their own wheels, do their own thing. You know, I'm not going to get involved, but that when it comes to that, when we can't even sit at a table and have lunch, that's when I draw the line. But then there's also people I know one of my very best friends during COVID, like our political views were very different and I know she struggled because I didn't care.

Robb (: 06:33

All right.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 06:33

And I was probably more insensitive than I needed to be with her. But I was just so done with it, I couldn't deal with it. But thankfully, she's patient and she didn't cut me off. But she is quick to tell me we are very different politically, which is fine. I'm OK with that.

Robb (: 06:51

Yeah, me too. I mean at the end of the day, you know, you're bound to make people angry. You have made me very angry Very angry indeed And I understand that look At some point you're going to say something and it could be about anything. I just think now politics is a hot button because both sides at these

Tina Marie Garcia (: 07:04

That's funny.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 07:10

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 07:15

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 07:21

are not happy, where we see the world from two different views, and well, at least the extremists of both of them. I think we're more in the middle than we think, but now we just refuse to talk to each other, and I think that's a bigger problem.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 07:22

Mm-mm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 07:40

Right. That's me. That's me. I just don't want to have that conversation with you. So I will dodge and weave, you know. Bobbin weave, bobbin weave. Dodge, do whatever you got to do. Right.

Robb (: 07:49

I will have, I will, Bob, we've dodged a couple of jabs here and there. I'm all up for talking. Look, and I'm also one that says, look, you know, we have to agree to disagree because you have to at some point, you know, have to do that. If you want to keep your friendship alive.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 08:04

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 08:13

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 08:15

But I also have, you know, I have a big trap, so it gets me in trouble.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 08:20

see where I just want to get out of the situation, I will avoid people, I will not, you know, I'm busy for lunch, like, I would definitely do that to avoid certain conversations. Not because I don't want to have the conversation about how I don't want to have that conversation, and I also just, it's not that important to me, so I'll let people like, spin their own wheels on their own street and not.

just not be around them because it's just not pleasant for me. And in this stage of the game, if things aren't fun or not even fun, it's like if they're not pleasant, I won't I don't want to have them. I'm pretty cool to not be miserable anymore. So if it's going to cause me some sort of angst or frustration, I avoid the shit out of it to just be honest with you. I just don't care.

Robb (: 08:51

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 09:14

Right, and I think that that's probably a very healthy way to do it. By not getting knee deep in the shit you generally don't smell. So I get that. I think, like you said, I think COVID also split us as a society because there were people who were just like lockdowns are nonsense, you know, where we need to get out, we need to do this, and then...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 09:25

Right?

Tina Marie Garcia (: 09:34

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 09:41

That was me.

Robb (: 09:43

And then the flip side of, you know, we need to lock ourselves inside, people are dying, blah, blah. So both sides of that, I think, had an equal footing at one point. I think near the end of COVID, the people who were talking about staying inside and wearing masks had absolutely no foothold at all. And then of course, two years later, it's coming back again, but we know that

Tina Marie Garcia (: 09:48

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 09:55

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 10:04

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 10:08

Coming back again.

Robb (: 10:12

All that stuff before was utter nonsense. Masks do not work. There's been a million studies that say they don't. It doesn't matter what you do. Even in N95, they're saying long run is not going to save you from getting sick. Lockdowns don't do anything but make people angry. And I think you're going to see a major, major pushback if they try to do that again.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 10:31

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 10:37

I hope so. I hope so because they ruined my life for long enough. Now it's time for us to work and do what we got to do and live our lives and when we get sick get over it. You know get that immune system built up so we don't have to keep going through this. You know I have a lot of friends I don't know why I'm going off on that topic that are now saying and they're younger than me that they have congestive heart failure.

Robb (: 10:46

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 11:05

And they're all saying, I bet you it was the, uh, the shots for COVID. And there's no other reason. And they're young. That's the crazy part. They're in their forties with congestive heart failure. How do you, how do you not study that? How are we not having somebody say, look, this isn't the best thing for anybody. And it just seems too coincidental.

Robb (: 11:12

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 11:29

Right.

Robb (: 11:32

You know, I think the long term repercussions will obviously come out. Unfortunately, that if there is an issue with that shot, it's going to do a lot of damage to people.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 11:44

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 11:54

Now the flip side of that is that obviously I think that it's working in some people so You know, i'm not a doctor. So I don't want to get too knee-deep into that one, but I definitely think the uh Um Having a choice Is the bigger thing I think that you know, we live in a country of freedom so

Tina Marie Garcia (: 11:54

Yes.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 12:14

Oh, that's a novel idea.

Robb (: 12:22

Look, if you don't want to get anything, the government should not tell you to do it. Period. Just like, you know, it's kind of a weird thing where, you know, like, let's say the lockdown orders. None of those were laws. So really, you don't have to do them. I think, like I said, I think you're gonna see a lot of people

Tina Marie Garcia (: 12:27

Absolutely not.

Robb (: 12:49

changing their attitudes this time around that we understand that locking people up for two years is not a healthy thing. And again, just saying that can lose you a friend. So, you know, we're talking about this very damaging.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 12:56

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 13:13

things that are happening to people. And like, I saw it a lot more in families, how families were ripped apart by having a different view. Unfortunately, politically is part of choosing a side in the COVID battle, because generally one side believed in freedom and the other side believed in locking down and not killing people. So I saw it a lot more in families.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 13:19

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 13:41

Mm-hmm and a lot of it just depended on what happened in the family like if somebody had passed in the family Then they thought Wholeheartedly one in one direction But if it didn't it could have been quite different

Robb (: 13:52

for sure. Oh, without a doubt.

Yeah, like my dad got it, my mom got it. Now, looking back from then, my mom who was sick with something else, like she was sick for a very long time, and she passed away. My dad is quite healthy. Now they live two different lifestyles as well. So I think when you start breaking down COVID and having political views that are different than your friends,

Tina Marie Garcia (: 14:19

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 14:26

You have to look at, like you said, what happened in the family, what happened around them statistically, just what they believe in general. Because I think that's the line in the sand, right? Where do you stand?

Tina Marie Garcia (: 14:40

Right.

Robb (: 14:41

And I think that that's what happens with families. I remember getting in arguments with my own family about things I believed in that I've changed my mind since, but I can recall one Thanksgiving where I said something, and I wanna say my kid was like maybe two, so it was like 18 or 19 years ago.

And I said something and it quiet, the whole place got quiet. Like I was like public enemy number one, like they couldn't believe it came out of my mouth. And it, and I think it would have been, I don't know about a political statement, but it was definitely something that we would argue about now politically. So.

And I could see it on their faces and I was like, oh, and even my ex-wife was there and she was like, yeah, you probably shouldn't have said that. And I was like, yeah, looking back on it. So I don't particularly bite my tongue anymore, but I definitely don't try to fist fight people either. I think there's a happy medium with friends and family that if you know your friends.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 15:54

Right.

Robb (: 16:04

you know where they generally stand. And I do my best to get them to a limit where if it starts getting a little dodgy, I pump the brakes. Because it's not worth not having a good time with your friends just over what you believe.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 16:08

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 16:25

and you're never going to believe exactly the same things. It's just not going to happen. And it's unrealistic to think that you could.

Robb (: 16:29

No.

Robb (: 16:34

Mm-hmm. Yeah, and I think that that's what we do as friends, right? You find the 85% you believe in, and then you let the rest of it kind of go in and out of each other because it's not worth fighting. Or you find the things that bring you together, and you definitely push those as the main thing you do.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 16:58

Mm-hmm.

I remember when I was in high school, one of my friends was one of my best friends. We had started kindergarten, first grade together, and we had stayed friends the whole time, went to the same schools and kept our relationship going, lived in the same neighborhood. We were very close. And she started going to this church that's a little bit more than what I think church should be for people. And

They told her that they that I shouldn't be friends with her because we're not going to the same place. And it was about creating relationships that would last for eternity. And so she came to me in the 10th grade and she told me this and I was like, wait, you're not going to be my friend because I don't believe in your religious views.

And she said, well, yeah, because you're not going to go to heaven. And I was like, oh, okay. And I looked at her kind of funny, like, are you sure? Because in, in the 10, 11 years that we went to school, we never even had a disagreement. We had always been super cool with each other. And she's like, no, I mean it. And I was like, all right. Like I didn't know what to say. I was totally caught off guard. Uh, we didn't talk for about a year.

And then next year comes and she grabs me and she hugs me. She's like, I'm such a jerk. I'm so sorry. I never should have lost you as a friend. I went to this church and I found out who my real friends are and I apologize. And just as much as I said, okay, when she left, cause I was confused, I said, okay, welcome back because she was my friend. And we didn't even fight when she broke up with me. We just didn't talk and.

Robb (: 18:50

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 18:51

And it was hard. I mean, it wasn't like it was there was nothing that had happened that would cause that problem. So we didn't make it a huge issue and we were able to bring it back around and we remain friends to this day. So I believe that sometimes you need to separate yourself from people that don't believe in your views just to allow them space to be who they need to be.

And hopefully, if they're good people, good friends, good family, they'll always roll back around. That's not always the case. I've lost a lot of friends over a lot less. But were they really my friends to begin with? I think those are the that's the test to life. Like who is going to stick by you when you don't agree with them? My friends, I tell them all the time, I'm not here to judge you, but I will pop popcorn and watch.

So you do whatever it is you want to do and just let me know the story. I just want the story. And I find that because I do that people tell me probably more than I want to hear a lot of the time. But in that I have better relationships with my friends because I allow them to be whoever they want to around me. And I think that as people as human beings as friends as family.

We've lost track of that and we need to start allowing people to go through whatever it is they need to go through to get their lessons in life to learn what they need to learn in life and Sometimes you can't be around them like my friend. That's political I tell her all the time if you talk like this, I can't go to lunch with you So can we agree not to agree not to agree that we were not going to talk about religion and we're not going to talk about politics now I have to say she is not

Any good at keeping her promise. She is she's absolutely no good But she minimizes it because she knows my fuse is only a quarter of an inch long so We've come to a place of a happy medium She gets to get out whatever she wants to in this amount of time And I don't have to tell her to pump the brakes because she just wasted an hour and a half of my life Talking about fox news

Robb (: 20:56

Right.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 21:12

we found our middle ground, which is isn't that what we're supposed to do is find a middle ground. We're supposed to find a way to coexist with one another and respect the fact that we don't think the same.

Robb (: 21:16

Yes.

Robb (: 21:25

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I think the best way of doing it is exactly what you just said. It's about finding the level that either of you will take and then reverting back to what makes you friends. You know?

Tina Marie Garcia (: 21:41

Yes, because-

Some for some reason I know in my heart that the people that are in my life They're supposed to be there. They were handpicked for me in this life I really do feel that I do because I've learned lessons from all of my people in my life, you know and I don't think that we should be so quick to throw somebody away Just because they don't believe in what we believe in because if that were the case two of my very best friends

would not be speaking to me right now, and one I've been friends with for about 15 years and the other since I was in the eighth grade. Long time people.

Robb (: 22:24

Yeah. And I think when you look at how we're all different, like you said, we all have these little idiosyncrasies, right, of how we are or what we do, and they're easily can bug people, regardless of your political beliefs.

I just think that those are the things that are in the forefront right now because we all have a 24 hour news cycle on our phone and you go on any social media, which we both know and have talked in length about how it is the death of people and it's dividing everyone. So now you could go and have lunch with somebody and be talking about everything other than that

Tina Marie Garcia (: 22:52

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 23:02

It's dividing everybody in this world.

Robb (: 23:15

Text or one alert can turn that conversation my best friend you know, we have a love of pop culture and uh comic books and wrestling

Tina Marie Garcia (: 23:20

Mm.

Robb (: 23:29

So those are our, when we get together, we get a lot of that stuff out. And then of course we talk about our past or whatever, you know, whatever's in that scheme of things. Politics rarely comes up. And I just think that that's how we do our best to do that. Like, I don't think we do it purposely, because we'll get on a tangent talking about, mm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 23:35

Hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 23:46

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 23:58

whatever wrestling storyline.

or whatever comic book movie or did you see this or did you see that? So I think that that's a good part and I think that we have to do our best to do that all the time. But I agree with what you said before, sometimes time away from someone is what will end up bringing you closer. Because sometimes you do need a break from somebody, whether it's you know, political, religion, profession,

Tina Marie Garcia (: 24:20

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 24:30

have put a wall up between you, you know? It's nice to walk around the wall and go, hey, it's been a while.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 24:36

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 24:42

you know, where are you at, what's going on, let's see. You know, I moved, so when I moved to a different place, we were talking before we got on, like I don't have a lot of friends on this side of the world, so, and the ones I talk to are very limited, and probably a lot of where I live is in the same political region. And where I lived before was very, I would say, very left leaning. So,

but I never got in arguments with people there either. I stated what I believed, and if you believe different, more power to you. I think everything's, you know, if you're political, believe in the system and that if you vote, you should vote it away. And then it should stop at that. I'm okay with saying, hey, I believe this, but when you start getting into like, really punching back at people.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 25:29

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 25:41

It's like, stop. We're gonna ruin something that's really good. Let's, you know, let's order chips and salsa. That's better. Because who doesn't like that?

Tina Marie Garcia (: 25:45

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, yeah. I have a friend that won't talk to me now. And I know she's going through some pretty serious issues in her life. And she and I were inseparable for a long time. And

she just, she hasn't told me what the problem is. I'm sure she didn't like whatever it was I did at the time and had judgment or whatever on me for that. I'm sure because there really wasn't a reason for us to not be close. And the sad part is, is I never, I never judged her, you know, she was who she was, I was who I am, and I loved her for being her. And the sad part is now

Now that she's going through all these things, I'm not going to be a part of it to help her. And over the years, whether we agreed or disagreed with each other, we were always there for each other. And not only that, but we learned from each other. We learned a lot from each other. So I feel the sense of urgency to want to reach out. But at the same time, every time I do, you know, I get slammed, like, you know, the door shut.

you're not coming through it. So I had to back away. It doesn't make me feel good. I wish I could be there. But you know, it also doesn't make me feel good that she'd have judgment on me because we have never she and I have never been friends for being perfect. We were friends because we could do the same things act the same way commiserate when we needed to but ultimately we were both wild together and had a blast. So

Tina Marie Garcia (: 27:33

You know, I know as you get older, you don't want to act certain ways or you're not happy with certain things that your friends do. But true friends, friends like that, you say, hey, don't be stupid. I don't want to see you doing this or I don't like that you did that or, you know, you shouldn't have gone here. Like talk and say something. Don't throw a person away because you may find in your life that one person would be the one

you know, the one would say the one thing that would keep you sane, or would say the one thing that would get you through, or would just know that one time when you're really going through it, they'd be there to give you a hug. And sometimes we forget about all the good that somebody does, because we don't like their views, or we don't like what they said, or what they did, or who they date, or how tall they are, I don't know, pick whatever you want to pick about it.

Robb (: 28:07

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 28:24

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 28:31

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 28:32

and not like that, but is it worth losing somebody that you're that close to? I don't think it is. I think you really have to be careful who you shut out of your life, because again, I do believe these souls that are put in our lives to ride this wave with us was handpicked to be there for us. If we could just get over our ego enough to be okay with who they are.

be okay with who we are and to love and be close to each other. I think that if we have, if we do that, I think that's the lesson that we're supposed to learn. It's not divide and conquer. It's, it's find a way to all, uh, coexist.

Robb (: 29:19

I totally agree with what you just said. I think I wasn't a big believer in that people come into your lives for a reason.

And then people have and where I kind of step back for a second and went, you know This is kind of odd like there's you shouldn't be in my life like we live different lives and then things come back or Like us like I think that we've never fallen out of each other's lives We just lived and we find we find each other coming back Yeah for whatever

Tina Marie Garcia (: 29:44

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 29:53

We come back around or we recycle each other, I don't know.

Robb (: 30:00

But we did talk about that well before this podcast that we're gonna do our best not to fall out of that again. But I think we also got married in our 30s and life changes, yeah, things like that change. But even during that, we did talk, just not on the same level. But I think you're right. You have to look and see why people come into your life.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 30:06

Ray.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 30:12

had kids and life.

Robb (: 30:27

And even if you might not believe everything, they are 100%. There's reasons they're there. My best friend, there's a reason he's there. And there's things we don't agree on. And I have another friend of mine that we're politically polar opposites, but we find a middle ground in things that we like. And I think that that's where...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 30:39

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 30:56

You can, you know, we've talked about opposites attracting and where you see these things where there's such a core of what it is that the small outliers, you're like, yeah, I don't care about that. I don't care about this. And I think as friends and family, if your political belief is going to push someone away, you need to dig a little deeper into maybe who you are in your soul.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 31:00

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 31:09

Yeah.

Robb (: 31:25

and realize that you're probably going to get rid of a friend or someone very close to you for the dumbest reason possible. Because in a couple of years your political belief may change.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 31:38

right? And then, you know, people don't know how to apologize, either. Like when situations like that happen, I noticed that people stay so angry for so long, that it's not until somebody's on their deathbed, and they're forced to talk about it, by then the time is gone. It's too late.

Robb (: 31:44

No.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 31:59

You know, I see that happening a lot or I hear of it happening a lot And and I always say is that really how I want to be? With whomever it is that i'm having issues with now. There are some people Yeah, that's exactly how I want to be. I don't want to go down that road with them ever again And that was the lesson I needed to learn with them lesson learned but that's not always the lesson and I and I try really hard to Make sure I know the difference

Robb (: 32:19

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 32:29

because there's a big difference.

Robb (: 32:32

There is, and I kind of agree with you where you have to look at the bigger picture long run. I think people today just disappear. Like you said, the ghosting thing where someone gets mad at you and you just don't talk anymore. Or if you...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 32:50

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 32:52

get to a certain spot in your life and you're like, yeah, I just go different directions. And it happens. And sometimes it happens purposely. And sometimes it just happens because life. You know, you move far away or you move across the country and it's easy to get out of phase with those type of people because you're not seeing them on a daily basis. And...

But when you do see them, generally those relationships pop right back. And I think that's the bigger thing is looking at politics as a outlier of why you need to be friends with somebody is the worst possible thing. I.

I don't want to be friends with somebody because they believe everything I believe. I want to be friends with somebody because we have, um, moral or, or just a love for things. I can go out and hang out with somebody who is just a hockey fan, hang out with them for three hours watching the game.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 33:50

Right?

Robb (: 34:09

and go, okay, dude, I got a jam, and then not talk to them until it's the next time to watch a game. Because that is what keeps us together, is our love for hockey. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. You can have that kind of friend where...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 34:15

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 34:26

You don't go discuss anything other than what's going on, you know, maybe inside your family or how the kids or how's your wife doing, and then enjoy the game. And if more people did things like that, where they saw the core things that keep you friends, we'd be better off.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 34:50

Oh, by far, by far. But people need to be wronged or they need to make people wrong or they need to poopoo ideas that don't work for them in their world. What are you laughing at, Rob? Because I said poopoo'd. But it's so true. It's like, why do people get so angry? And really, if you're a friend...

Robb (: 35:08

He said, poo poo. Hmm hmm hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 35:20

You're doing that to your other friends like get a freaking life Get a life if you have nothing better to do than to be offended by somebody else's views First of all fuck off. I don't have time for that You know, but second of all they get a life get a life to where it's not offensive to you anymore Get a life that's so busy and so happy and so fulfilled that you don't have time to hate somebody else Because seriously, I've had enough of it

Robb (: 35:51

Yeah, I think we also need to realize that we all have different ideologies. You can not belong to a political party and still have an ideology. And when people start realizing that as well, that if you keep putting people in a box, like these certain people all believe this.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 35:56

Yes.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 36:05

Mm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 36:18

could only be this, yeah.

Robb (: 36:20

then we're in a place where we'll never recover and you'll never have friends and you'll never trust anyone. You just have to realize that these people have this ideology and I have this ideology. And if we can't meet somewhere in the middle, then okay, I understand that you don't wanna talk to me, c'est la vie. But I do my best to, you know.

tie a rope around them and go look, it's okay. Like, don't run too far away because we still believe this, and this. Yeah, I agree with you. There are those people that you need to be able to talk to or just get a hug from, or they need to realize that no matter what happens, that you're gonna be there for them. And...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 36:59

I still need ya. Yeah.

Robb (: 37:14

Even if you're having a tiff at the moment and there's something wrong, you should still be able to get ahold of these people and go, hey, just so you know, I'm here for you. And it's important for those people to know that. Maybe you're mad at me because I am a gun guy and I believe in gun rights and you're super against it. If that's the only thing that keeps us from being friends, we're probably, we're never friends in the beginning.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 37:43

Mm-hmm

Robb (: 37:44

You know, there's got to be more glue to that.

than just that. And I think once you start looking at what makes you friends or what makes you boyfriends and girlfriends, you know, I know several people who are married and their mates have different, I wouldn't say total political views, but definitely there's some things that they don't agree on. But their middle ground is their love for each other.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 38:12

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 38:16

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 38:16

and you have to be able to get there. And that's the same love for your family and the same love for your friends. Find the thing that is the glue to your relationship and keep it.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 38:31

I have, I call them my married couples, my friends that are married. I met them all the same. They're a wild bunch. Very, very gun-toting. Like, the crazies. The crazies are my favorites. They are. I love them. Anyway, their gun views are like, well, I...

Robb (: 38:44

And what do you call them? The crazies.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 38:59

Please forgive me. I would say like more redneck American type people. You like beer drinking, go into the races. Like their views are not rednecks, but their views are like more, they're just more like country. I don't want to say country America, but that just sounds maybe. I don't know. But anyway, they have views that were not always mine. Like they could drink like crazy. I don't drink at all when I'm with them. You know, we have

Robb (: 39:05

Red X.

Robb (: 39:17

More rural.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 39:28

We have conversations that get way out of control and as wild as they can be. And a lot of the time I don't necessarily agree with them, but I just like the fact that they say what the hell they want and what they need and how they believe. And I respect them on such a level and they're such good people to me.

And they're totally different than me and we make fun of all of our differences like that's just From the get you know, you're gonna get picked on and made fun of and kind of poked but the most decent human beings I've ever met in my life. I love the hell out of them And and how sad would it be? If I couldn't get there with them because they just don't think the way I do completely and they're not always we don't always disagree

But when we disagree, I'm like, oh, that was a good one. I wouldn't say that or I wouldn't do that. But I don't I just don't get offended with them. I laugh at them and go, we're just going to have to agree to disagree. And and I adore these people. There's there's nothing I wouldn't do if they called right today and said, I need this or that. I would give it to them in a heartbeat. But the flip side is I think they would for me to.

Robb (: 40:25

Right.

Robb (: 40:35

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 40:51

And our views, thank God, haven't got us into these jams where we can't be friends. Because what a waste of a valued friendship if that were the case.

Robb (: 40:52

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 41:03

Yeah, for sure. I met someone a lot of years ago and we chatted a lot at events that we happened to be at the same time.

and she thinks a certain way and I thought a different way. But out of the goodness of her heart, she realized that there was more to me than my one belief against it. And she even said something to me way later, years later, like, yeah, we didn't agree, but I looked past that. And now, years later, we probably agree more on that same topic than we did then.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 41:48

Right?

Robb (: 41:48

And so those things, we do change as humans. And if she didn't give me the benefit of the doubt of being a decent person, even though we didn't agree on that particular thing, hey, there's something to it. Like she said something to me one time. She goes, yeah, I didn't hold that you didn't believe in God against you. No, no, it wasn't you.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 42:13

Was that me? Because I felt the same way when you told me I felt bad for you. It was like, really, you don't have. How do you have faith? How do you have? How do you have that belief that something will be OK? I used to worry about that for you, Rob. I'm not going to lie.

Robb (: 42:16

Right. But see.

Robb (: 42:27

Right? And she kind of said the same thing to me, but years later she was like, I'm glad I didn't hold that against you. And I was like, well, I'm glad you didn't hold it against me because what she means to me now means more. So look.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 42:45

But at the time we didn't know that you could care that freaking bad that you could blow up a relationship because people didn't do that then. If we didn't agree we just didn't talk about that conversation with whomever it was and we skated around it and hoped we didn't have to talk about it. It wasn't like I can't be your friend. I don't want you in my life. Those things never came out of anybody back then.

Robb (: 42:55

Right.

Yeah.

Robb (: 43:01

Exactly.

Robb (: 43:07

Exactly. Right. Well, the good part about it is when this was happening, it was on a very subdued level because we just happened to be the same event.

together and we would talk during it. Years later I started talking to her way more and that's when things really kind of got out in the open and I was like well I'm really glad that you're gay like you didn't hold it against me you know 10 years later because that would have sucked so uh

Tina Marie Garcia (: 43:18

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 43:38

I think people need to learn from that as well. There's way more to people that you should be able to talk on some level and agree to disagree, meet in the middle, and the things that bond you together hold on to very dearly.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 43:57

I agree. I totally agree. Because it's hard to, you know what I know about life is it's hard to make a good friend, but you don't have to make it that hard to keep it.

Robb (: 43:59

You know.

Robb (: 44:11

No, I agree with that. That you, keeping your friends should be the easiest thing in the world. And if you don't believe something, it should be easy to meet in the middle. Or me too. I'm all up for avoiding some things to keep my friendships going. And I do that. And I think that there's...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 44:18

Mm-hmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 44:26

or just avoid it all together. I'm okay with that too. May.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 44:36

Yeah.

Robb (: 44:39

We should all do that. And if things are pressing you that hard, you should be able to sit down with somebody and go, hey, let's not let this get out of hand ever. Because trust in a friendship is huge.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 44:52

Right.

Robb (: 44:57

and you have to have trust in somebody and that what they're saying to you is real and that you can continue to move your friendship forward. I mean, like I said, our friendship is what? For 30 something years now, right? And I think...

Tina Marie Garcia (: 45:17

It's like 33 years.

Robb (: 45:22

No, more than that I think. Probably because I think me and my best friends is 40. We're hitting 40 this year. I knew him in sixth grade. So yeah, so we got an extra four years. So yeah, so ours is probably 36 and.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 45:24

Is it? Is it 35?

Tina Marie Garcia (: 45:30

35 holy cow

Tina Marie Garcia (: 45:39

I met you in tenth.

Robb (: 45:50

Me and my buddies is we're gonna be 40 this year. So

Tina Marie Garcia (: 45:53

And we have not agreed on a lot of things over the years.

Robb (: 45:56

A lot of things, yeah.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 45:59

It's still not, it's not working for me, Rob. You're not getting rid of me that easily.

Robb (: 46:02

Yeah, I know. Not that I haven't tried hard enough. Ha ha ha. It's funny too because I'm getting a gift for my friend, for our 40, and he has no idea. And I don't think he listens to this, although he may, because he's in San Diego. But I'm getting him something that he has. I'm getting him something that he has.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 46:06

You did ass you did I'll give you that

Robb (: 46:24

he'll never see coming, and it's something that really bonds us as friends. So I think it'll be an interesting thing to see his face. It's being made right now, so it's gonna be probably another seven or eight weeks until I get it. Yeah, so yeah, and then

Tina Marie Garcia (: 46:32

Mmm.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 46:40

Oh, that's so cool.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 46:49

You're gonna have to tell me what it is off the air.

Robb (: 46:54

And then his birthday's coming at the end of this month. So I'll kind of say, hey, look, there's something coming, but it's for this and this. But he'll have, I mean, no idea. Oh no, I'm going to, oh, well, yeah, I can't send this into mail. This is one, I mean, I could, but I'd have to like ensure it and FedEx it and like.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 47:03

You need to go down and give it to him so you could see his reaction.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 47:09

Yeah, good, good.

Robb (: 47:18

No, I'm gonna go down there. I wanna hand it to him right to his face, because he's gonna shit a purple Twinkie, so it's gonna be great. I know. Well, any last words?

Tina Marie Garcia (: 47:20

Good. Good, good.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 47:25

haven't seen one of those in a while. Be kind to each other this bullshit of everybody getting so worked up you can't be in the same room as stupid.

Robb (: 47:37

Yeah, I totally agree. Leave your politics at the door.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 47:41

Leave your judgments and attitude at the door. Just do that.

Robb (: 47:46

Yeah. And yeah, make sure to check out our socials on the Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. And check us out wherever you listen to podcasts, Apple, Spotify, Amazon, Google. Make sure to subscribe. And if you can, leave us a star rating and a quick review because it helps us get more listeners.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 48:06

and do us a favor and pass us along.

Robb (: 48:09

Yes, share, and get ahold of us with some ideas. And if you wanna come on, please get ahold of us. We would love to have more guests on. I think it's, we love bouncing things off each other and we're a good time. All right, well, this is an opinion show, so don't get it twisted. You keep coming back every Wednesday. Thanks guys, and we will talk to you in a week. Bye, teenagers.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 48:10

Share, share, and share.

Tina Marie Garcia (: 48:35

Bye.