EP # 180 Confronting Mortality: Embracing the journey with no regrets.

Robb (: 00:01

And welcome to another show of Don't Get This twisted. am Rob along with my co-host as always Tina. How are you doing? Yeah, I mean none of us are. Yeah, yeah. I talked to my old roommate today and I mean didn't talk to her. were just in passing. We were texting each other over. I saw that she was doing some modeling again, so we were bullshitting and she was like

Tina (: 00:07

I am so freaking tired. I run myself like I'm 20 years old and I am not.

Tina (: 00:20

yeah?

Robb (: 00:31

That was yesterday. And then I talked to her a little bit today and she's like, I'm so tired. Like, I can't do this anymore. Yeah, like we're not. We're not young anymore. Like, it's just not the same. You know, we're just at a, I mean, look, and again, like not in a bad way, but it's just, it is true. Like you definitely, you definitely feel things when you, when you run yourself ragged, you definitely do. I mean, even the gym sometimes like, is,

Tina (: 00:43

Hmm.

Tina (: 00:56

Yeah.

Robb (: 01:01

We do we do legs on Tuesday Thursday is rough for me Wednesday's not like because my muscles aren't contracting or anything yet, but Thursday I feel it I'm like, that's why I tried to like really really like run and or like to get all my walking in to kind of like make sure my legs are still like going instead of like laying around or sitting there doing anything so well

Tina (: 01:05

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 01:27

Yeah.

Robb (: 01:31

I don't know, I was going through a bunch of different subjects that we have on from years ago, like when we first started actually, that we still haven't done. But some of them have kind of ran their course because COVID doesn't exist anymore and like a bunch of other things. yeah, well, bird flu, there's a bunch of them. We're going to die of something.

Tina (: 01:51

but it does. You need to go out and get another vaccination.

Tina (: 01:58

over it.

Robb (: 02:00

Speaking of that, I was kind of thinking like we should do a show today on We're at a point in life now where our friends are dying Like legitimately dying like not freak accidents not You know anything crazy because we had some people from high school like right out of high school died like a car accident you know like and

Tina (: 02:26

Yeah.

Robb (: 02:28

And that's that those kind of things are always going to happen, right? We're going to have friends that. For whatever freak accident happens, yes, they're going to die or obviously suicides that have that have happened through. You know, just bad things in their life and they've taken their own life and I've had some friends that have done that or OD.

You know my old tag team partner when I was a wrestler he He owed me twice if you can believe that he actually died the first time and he has EKG from the paramedics where he flatlined and he kept it and he still didn't Drugs are Drugs are rough for sure so I was like gonna throw it out you like I mean, I don't know

Tina (: 02:54

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 03:04

Wow.

Tina (: 03:12

They are.

Robb (: 03:19

Like personally for you, but you know my an ex-girlfriend of mine from I Believe it was 11th grade I think Passed away about a month and a half ago of cancer and we had We were talking I mean texting each other and we would talk every blue moon Like I said, she got kind of weird with me and I kind of had to kind of pump the brakes

But she had came to me and said, look, I'm sick. And by the time she really told me she was sick, she was going into long-term hospice. Yeah. So, and, boy, there's just nothing you can say to someone that's going into hospice because it's over.

Tina (: 04:03

Well...

Robb (: 04:19

You know what mean? So it was kind of the first time where I had to kind of deal with that aspect of life. My mom passed away, know, went to sleep one night, didn't wake up. I've had some friends, a friend of mine who was a wrestler die at 40. He had a heart attack at a funeral and ended up, yeah, he ended up

Tina (: 04:30

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 04:45

at a funeral.

Robb (: 04:48

surviving it until he got to the hospital and then he had a widow maker at the hospital and died. Yeah. So for me, I mean, I don't know how much we can really dive into this topic. It was just kind of kind of bugging me kind of like last week where I was just, you know, you we talked about how other people's relationships kind of affect us. Well, this is going to affect us. Obviously, way more as we're getting old.

Tina (: 04:53

Wow.

Tina (: 05:10

Yeah.

Robb (: 05:17

we're both over 50 you know and our bodies are changing or this is when most people get crazy diseases like cancer or you know long-term effects of whatever so i was going to kind of throw it out there i don't know have you had any friends pass away like or relatives or whatever

Tina (: 05:33

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 05:39

I have. I have. And, and, you know, I just had one of my clients, a long-term client, passed away last week. And, she was a very good friend of mine and I was just like another one. You know, I, cause I, because I work on

Older women's hair, you know, because that's the ones that are going to the to the salon every week to get their hair done you get to know people that are 20 30 years older than I am and Yeah, when they don't make it or when you know, like Just friends of mine's parents have been passing or getting sick and it's been hard. It's been a hard a hard journey. I don't really talk about it much because

Robb (: 05:58

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 06:27

I don't want to dwell on that because I do believe in, in, that I will be seeing them again. But yeah, it sucks. And trying to talk people through the fact that, you know, they're, or not the fact, but just talk them through dealing with losing someone is not an easy task. And it seems like everybody comes to me to talk about that because

God knows I've been through a lot of deaths. I had one of my best friends when I used to live with my ex would tell me, I've never known anybody that has lost more people than you. And then so fast, like they go in clusters. then one day I went to her because she had lost several people in her family within a short amount of time. And I said, now you understand. She goes, I thought about that. And I'm so sorry I said that to you.

because now I get it. That's just par for the course though, know? Nobody knows until they know what it feels like or what it's like to lose one person, two people, three people, you know?

Robb (: 07:21

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 07:39

Mostly quickly. You know what I mean? Or like in a very short amount of time where. That's kind of kind of a dual purpose for this, think.

Tina (: 07:41

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.

Robb (: 07:51

I think I found myself now looking more of like, what is life, right? What? We're in a spot now where, you know, I love Shawshank Redemption, and I'm gonna quote it, but I thought it was a really good one. You can either get busy living or get busy dying. And I think when you hear something like that, it should sting. You should step back for a second and go, what am I doing?

Tina (: 07:59

That's for sure.

Robb (: 08:21

Where am I at? Like, or what do I want to do? You know, look, I'm I'm at a spot where, you know, it's weird. I I want to do things and then I don't or I was talking actually, I did miss talk to you before the show. I did see my friend down the street on. There Friday, I went head lunch with her.

And you know, it's really weird we when we talk sometimes we'll be on like talking about whatever and it turns serious really quick and and I think that's just how I talk to her because of what goes through my mind and I'm I'm not one for keeping things in anymore. So I just am very Straightforward and I'll say something to her about something but yeah, I think that

Tina (: 09:00

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 09:10

Right.

Robb (: 09:19

We're in a spot now where it's like, what do you want to do? And we were both talking about like being single and and she was like, yeah, you know, the more that I'm single, the more I like it. And I was like, yeah, I know I get that because it is like I'm scared to get in a relationship because of how long I've been single. You know what I mean? It's.

Tina (: 09:35

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 09:44

Really? I don't know. I'm not... I just jump in. When I'm doing something, I don't really think about it or I don't worry about it because I've gotten to the point where I've been through so much. I'm like, everything's going to be fine. Just do it.

Robb (: 09:58

I can't no look I I'm not saying that I wouldn't I would I would jump in in a second with her in without even blinking but I understand that like because you have freedoms being in a relationship you have to twist and turn and kind of

you know, you're bouncing things off of each other. And I think that's like when you're stuck in a groove and you know that like, I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna watch the hockey game, no one's gonna say shit to me. When you're in a relationship, mostly if you're in a serious one and you're spending lots and lots of time with somebody, you do have to put their consideration and how that's going to affect them and these type of things. And I think

Tina (: 10:19

Yeah.

Robb (: 10:45

That's what we have to start thinking about in life. Like everything affects everything. And I'm kind of like you too. I jump in very quickly. As much as I thought, and again, I'm not a big horoscope guy, but I thought I was a Gemini for a very long time. And then I started looking at things and I'm very much a cancer. Like on a lot of these things that I read, like, holy crap, I'm, I'm very much that.

And she's a Gemini and she's very much that and it's kind of funny. But I got to a point now where I'm like you jump in, fuck it, see what happens. And if it fails, it fails. And at least you both know and it is what it is. And I think that that's what we should all do in life now. We're in a spot where like literally we could, our ticker could stop for no reason just because. we're in a, we're, you know, our bodies are, you know, people like to say midlife. If you look at midlife,

Tina (: 11:35

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 11:42

for the normal male human being because goodness sakes you guys live longer than us. I believe for men it's like 72 now, right? So midlife was 36. Okay, I'm 53. I'll be 54 in June. I'm well past my midlife.

Tina (: 11:56

Wow.

Robb (: 12:10

So I'm at the end of my life. Or I'm, I'm. But it's true. We're turning, you know, if you, if you look at this like a horse race, we're definitely, we're coming up on turn four. Like this is, you know what I mean? Like that's just the truth. And I'm not trying to make it gloomy. I'm trying to make it live. Like if you.

Tina (: 12:15

God, you make that sound so like... gloomy.

Tina (: 12:36

Mm-hmm. Yeah, there's definitely no time like the present, that's for sure.

Robb (: 12:39

Yeah, like stop worrying about the future. And definitely stop worrying about the past. I heard a great statement. I forgot who was talking. was on Instagram, but they were talking about, oh, it was Kevin Smith. He's a movie guy. He was talking about not living in the present. He's like, people live in the past. He goes, the past by now is fiction.

Tina (: 12:42

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 12:47

Alright, give that up.

Robb (: 13:07

It's all it is. You can't live in the past. And the future is total bullshit because the future isn't here yet. Who gives a shit? And he said the same thing. You might die in two days and you don't know it. So live in the present. And I kind of agree with that. Like, look, I want my son to be okay when I pass away. I do. But I also want to live while I'm here. And I've seen what death

Tina (: 13:31

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 13:35

of younger people does two families. And a good friend of mine who was a wrestler, died at 50. He lived. He was, man. He wrestled under the name Supreme. He was such a good guy. His name was Lester. He was just a, he was such a good human. Like he would always do something for you, but he was crazy as shit.

And I mean crazy. He did matches where like he dove into barbed wire, broken glass, beds and nails, like crazy, crazy shit. He was set on fire at Kennedy High School. Yeah. He was so like, not Kennedy. I'm sorry. Not Kennedy, Birmingham, but he it was in the gym. They did a show at a gym and he got set on fire and it burned the shit out of him. And after he had a heart attack, the first time he had a heart attack,

Tina (: 14:09

hell no.

Tina (: 14:16

No way.

Which...

Okay.

Robb (: 14:33

The first thing he wanted to do is I can't wait until I wrestle again. So, so he lived, like he live lived and there was something to that. Like I, I had seen him probably about seven months before he passed away at a wrestling show. He was getting put into a hall of fame through with some other friends of mine. And I'm so, and I didn't know even if I was going to go, I'm so glad I went.

Tina (: 14:37

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 15:00

Because I also got to talk to another friend of mine Joey and we had a long conversation just about life like real life shit like where we're at and how we feel about like the wrestling business and He felt like he didn't know anything else because he's been in it so long like he's like, if I quit this I don't know what I'm gonna do because I've never done anything like and I looked at that like wow, but

Tina (: 15:01

Yeah.

Tina (: 15:27

Wow.

Robb (: 15:30

Again, he lived his own life. He took it by the horns and he's done it. And I kind of give him lot of credit for that. Like there's something to that. Because I think a lot of us live with so much worry about the future that by the time we get to that future, we've not lived. We're just going to end up being like, man, this sucks. Like I didn't do it.

I don't want regret on my deathbed. And they said that that's like the, the top, top, top thing that people talk about. I wish I would have done this. And, and I, and look, we're, all going to have something like that. I don't want to say that, you know, you're going to, you're going to be like, yay, everything I've ever wanted to do I did because that's also not realistic, but,

Tina (: 16:24

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 16:27

I've seen a lot of people where they were that they've lived, you know, but then I see, like I said, my friend who OD'd, he never lived. He was like 33 years old. Yeah, 33 or 34. And it took, it was somber for so many reasons, because he was a good guy too. He just let something eat him alive. So for me, I saw

Tina (: 16:39

Damn.

Robb (: 16:55

I don't even know what sparked this, I maybe it was that that thing with Kevin Smith that I saw because I had sent it to my friend down the street and to me that there you have to live and I'm going to do my best now to be the most truthful person I can with everyone and everything. You got to you have to be not afraid to hurt people's feelings.

because you're going to. Whether they're your friends or they're your relationship or they're your family, you're going to hurt people's feelings but you're living and I I hope that well after I'm gone or actually right after I'm gone just so you know if I die before you and this goes out to my friend down the street and my son and whoever listens to this way later on

Tina (: 17:26

Absolutely.

Robb (: 17:54

I want to have a very, very much Irish funeral. I want everyone to go to a bar and drink and say, either you hated me or you liked me. And I want everyone to go and everyone to drink. Yeah, kilts would be cool. But my thing is just, I just want people to understand that like I lived and I did my best to

Tina (: 18:07

Do we have to wear kilts?

Tina (: 18:13

You want the bagpipes and everything?

Robb (: 18:24

Tell the truth to everybody and and I did my best to Fix whatever I thought I messed up. I was talking to another old friend of ours from a girl I dated when I was 18 years old and I kind of talked to her about like I should have chased her when I was 18 we kind of had a little conversation about it was kind of interesting and

I think that at that point she even kind of told me she was scared because you know and she goes and I said you know I kept trying to find you and she goes no I know you did because the people that you tried to find me through told me that you were trying to find me and I was like yeah and then I told her like when she came back from boot camp I said I should have never let you walk out the door that day without saying something to you and I kind of just

Tina (: 18:59

Hmm.

Robb (: 19:20

sat on my feelings and I never said anything. And look, we're at where we're at because, you know, look, I ended up with a great kid. She's got kids. Everything's peachy keen. I mean, on the surface at least. But for me, I think that I didn't do enough living in when I should have.

Like I didn't live enough in my twenties and thirties. I was very subdued. I stayed in the same condo for years because I didn't want to go anywhere. And I, you know, I was just very stagnant. And now that I'm older, I've as soon as I got a divorce, I moved to Vegas for a couple of years and then I came home and as soon as I could find a way to where I'm at now, I moved. Even though other people that

said things to me like, why are you coming out here? Why are you doing this? Or why are you doing that? Because you only live once. I kind of, I almost moved to North Carolina. You know, I mean, and maybe there is a little bit of doing it for the wrong reasons or doing it because

Tina (: 20:28

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 20:44

You know, you're you're trying to fill a gap or whatever But I do believe that those things are done Because you're thinking of doing them, you know what I mean? Like if if I had moved to North Carolina and that failed at least I'd had started a new life But I was probably running from another one so And I don't want to do that anymore either I don't want to run

Tina (: 21:02

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 21:13

I want to run from something. Why? I want to run to it. And I think that that's what we all should do. I don't want to. I don't want to be. Picture on a card where everyone comes and goes, wow, he lived an OK life or he did this or he did that. I want people to go well fuck. He he you know he.

Tina (: 21:15

Right? You shouldn't. There you go.

Robb (: 21:40

You know, got divorced and he moved to Vegas because he wanted to do something different because he was stagnant for 17 years in the same place. My ex-wife fucking hated me for that. Hated me. Like was so upset. Now you want to leave and now you want to move out of the state. Well, and look, well, you know, I was chasing something that I shouldn't have in the first place, but I think that even though I did that, it, it forced me to change.

Tina (: 22:09

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 22:10

And that helped me. So there's a lot of things. And I think living with my old roommate helped me. That helped me, you know, for one, be a better person and I think be more of a have more empathy because she was so much younger than me. It was like having a little sister that I never had. So, you know, she would literally I'd be at my computer and she would literally walk in my room, lay in the bed and just go.

and vomit out whatever was going on in her life. So I felt like I was like a pseudo therapist, which, you know, I think helped me as well. Just dealing with other things and I think it helped me maybe deal with my son differently because I, you know, I was having issues with my kid at one point and my job and taking my work home and, and

Tina (: 22:40

you

Tina (: 22:57

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 23:06

Thankfully that happened to me because I got to a point in my life where I went, I'm not going to take my work home ever again. And I don't ever. Yeah, when that door hits me on the ass, I don't give a shit about work anymore until the next morning. And when I'm there, I give 110.

Tina (: 23:16

Mm-hmm. You shouldn't.

Tina (: 23:24

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 23:28

I don't even consider work after I walk out the door. It's done. It's a wrap. Once I'm gone, I'm like, okay, back to Tina. But I don't have a high stress job.

Robb (: 23:40

Right. No, but I mean, my thing is like, just not taking it home. Like, don't, don't, if you, you had a bad experience at work, I don't bring it home and let it destroy my evening.

And for a while I did. And I would take it out on my kid.

Tina (: 23:57

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 24:01

Gotcha.

Tina (: 24:05

You know, for the longest time, I thought that I had to be perfect, or I was striving to be perfect because I felt like that is what I needed to do to make everybody happy with me. What I realized during trying to do that is that I wasn't happy. I wasn't happy in the least. It was actually quite the opposite. So then I decided to be happy instead of being perfect.

Robb (: 24:31

Mm-hmm.

You

Tina (: 24:34

And I go and I travel a lot. I do a lot of things. I do whatever I want to do. especially being divorced. I could get on my bike. I could take a train. I could take a plane. could do whatever the hell I want to take my car. But I tell my friends, said, look, I don't want to be on my death bed.

Saying I wish I would have done something. I want to be on my deathbed going Well, that was a really stupid idea, but damn that was fun And I always tell people I give you so many things to write in the eulogy when I die Because I don't want to do things perfect and I like to be able to laugh at myself and I want to just Give things a shot not to do them correctly not to even do them well but just to say I did it and to Enjoy the fact that I gave it a shot

Robb (: 25:02

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 25:24

I believe that we all need to be doing that.

Because you're right, we are getting younger. People are dying. This dementia shit, man, it's it's plaguing people right now. Where I never heard of it when we were younger, or rarely. Now it seems like every place I turn, I'm hearing somebody's got it. So if we don't make time for our life to have fun and to be happy and to try new things, now when? You know, when will we do that?

Robb (: 25:34

Right.

Tina (: 25:58

People die young. It's unfortunate. You know, my mom died at 59. I'm going to be 54 and I look, am I going to make it five more years? Am I going to get to the point that she got to? mean, truly, I asked myself that a lot. You know, I didn't have all the ailments my mom had, but it doesn't mean that I can't, that I'm not her daughter. Let's just put it that way. So.

Robb (: 26:12

Mm-hmm, me too.

Tina (: 26:24

I look at things different, but I do try to live. I really do. I've always been that person that's been like, well, this is going to be a bad idea, but fuck it. Let's find out. You know, let's do it. I think that I'm okay, no matter what happens in life, because I really have done some stupid shit to try to keep life interesting. And I'm not opposed to doing it now. I'm really not. So...

Robb (: 26:50

Right.

Tina (: 26:54

I think the trick is finding and doing what makes you happy every day or finding a reason to be happy every day and going with that. It just needs to happen.

Robb (: 27:07

Yeah, I. My thing is kind of the same with you, though I I think that I've done some dumb things, not. I don't think horribly, but I have. I've done some dumb shit and I've done a lot of things for the wrong reasons.

But I want to also do the same thing that you just said. I don't want to, I would rather start doing things and failing miserably and know the outcome of five years very much closer than waiting five years or waiting for that to happen or waiting for this to happen or I hope this happens. It's like.

Tina (: 27:46

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 27:51

No, don't hope. Just make it fucking happen. Like, do it. It's okay. And again, I've been watching this TV show on Hulu. called Shorzy. It's about hockey, but it's really about life. As much as it's about hockey, it's really about people. there's a great, they're having a losing streak.

Tina (: 27:55

Yeah.

Robb (: 28:16

And the owner of the team is this lady and she goes to him and she goes, I don't understand. Like they don't, they don't, what are they don't like winning? And he goes, no, they don't hate losing. And I thought, what a great quote. You're right. If, and that's life, you got to hate to lose in life. If you, if you hate to lose in life, you're going to be okay. And, and know that

Tina (: 28:30

Yeah.

Tina (: 28:39

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 28:45

Look, some things are always going to be a crap shoot, right? You're gonna roll the dice on tons of shit. You're gonna roll the dice walking down the stairs sometimes, because you may slip, fall down, and bang your noggin and never wake up. Or you may get into a relationship and it fails miserably, even though you thought it was gonna be the greatest thing in the world. Or...

Tina (: 28:54

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 29:11

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 29:13

You get into a relationship that you're like, man, this may not be what I think it's going to be. And it may end up being the fucking greatest thing in the whole world. You don't know. And, and I think that we all have to do that. And I hate to say, like, I have tattoos on me that, that a lot of people ask me about, because I have a lot of skulls and clocks and the one I got on my left arm first was it's a skull.

Tina (: 29:23

That's true too.

Robb (: 29:43

with a huge clock and it's breaking in pieces and people were like, that's cool looking, but what does it mean? And I said, death is chasing us. No matter what. And they thought it was a tad morbid, but I'm like, what this tattoo means is live now. Time is not stopping. It's gonna tick, tick, tick, tick, No matter what we do. Can't stop it. Tomorrow's another day. Tomorrow's another day and tomorrow's another day. By the end of this week,

Tina (: 29:52

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 30:03

Yeah.

Robb (: 30:12

Five days will be gone that we can never get back. So don't waste them. And I think I've seen some people waste time. We were talking about my mom the other day. Because she lived, my mom gave two fucks. She was.

Tina (: 30:17

It's true.

Robb (: 30:41

married four times. She dated whoever the hell she wanted. She didn't give a shit what people thought. She married somebody who was my age at the time and I think it was like 22. Which ruined her relationship with her mom that she never fixed. My grandma passed away before she could ever, know, uh-huh. Yeah.

Tina (: 30:53

Damn.

Tina (: 31:01

Did it?

Tina (: 31:06

Your grandmother was mad at her for doing that or something?

Robb (: 31:10

Look, you know, you gotta remember our parents grew up in a much different time. You know, I ended up reading the diary that my mom left for me and my brother. Then I sorta wish I didn't read, but it gave me a bigger insight to my mom. But she lived. She didn't care. If she was not happy in a relationship, she left. Just packed up and bailed out. She didn't wait a year.

Tina (: 31:14

sure.

Tina (: 31:33

Yeah.

Robb (: 31:38

to do it. That just wasn't her MO. She was like, no, not happy. I'm leaving and fucking bailed. Now, years later, about about four months before she passed away, maybe five, we were talking one night on Skype and just about certain things. And she said, my biggest regret in life is divorcing your dad. Yeah. And it's funny because she said that. But then I read her diary and my

Tina (: 31:58

Wow.

Robb (: 32:07

my or not her diary but a diary that she that she wrote in like 1989 so she waited years to write all this stuff down yeah like right before i went out after i graduated because i went no i got it after she passed away that's when she wrote it and it's funny she wrote talking about it like i was going to go out there for the summer and that was the last entry she ever wrote me coming there and she never wrote anything else after that

Tina (: 32:16

Wow.

Tina (: 32:21

That's when you got it? Or that's when she wrote it? Okay.

Robb (: 32:35

Yeah, really weird. But she talked about like relationships that she had with people like right out of high school. Like she wasn't allowed to date in high school because it was, you know, it was the 40s, early, know, late 40s, early 50s. they just, my grandma was very hardcore about that. So when my mom got out of high school, she went fucking nutty. So, but I got to give her credit. She lived.

Tina (: 32:36

Wow.

Tina (: 32:47

Robb (33:05.929)

And I feel that I didn't to a degree. You know, I was very passive about things and I didn't fight for the things I should have and I fought for the things that I shouldn't have. And I think that I'll live with a little regret with that. But I think I believe that I've at least over the last 10 years, I've

stopped doing that. I fight for the things that I think are 100 % legitimate. If I think it's right, I'm going to fight to the death for it. I also don't give up. that's kind of a problem with me sometimes is that I just can't and it's hard for me. I wish sometimes that I wasn't like that. But I think it's not a bad characteristic either.

Tina (: 33:45

As he should.

Robb (: 34:03

But like I said, me and my friend were talking about my mom and even she said like, yeah, I wish I could be like your mom. And I was like, yeah. And it's funny because the girl down the street is a lot like my mother. And I mean that in the best way possible. She's just, they're both made gemini's and they have a lot of same characteristics. So it's funny.

Because I've always heard like we try to date people like our parents and I don't know if people have ever done that with me. I've had people say, you're a lot like my dad, which is yeah, but not like I was dating you because you're like my dad. And I don't think I'd ever say that to anyone either. Like I'm dating you because you're like my mom. But but it is because I think that comes off very weird as well. Like

Tina (: 34:46

Mmm.

Robb (: 35:01

Because I don't I'm not the kind of person who wants to be mothered And that's probably because My mom really wasn't in my life Like my dad was I was raised by my dad after 12. So my formidable years were all with my father and my mom was a weekend warrior, so and Not that that's bad. I'd love my mom to death and

Tina (: 35:17

Yeah.

Robb (: 35:29

But I don't think that I'm to be mothered like that. and maybe that was bad in relationships, because I, you know, I'm just not like that. You don't have to do shit for me. I want something other than that. But it's interesting that, you know, when my mom passed away, I started to think more about maybe what I missed from that though. You know, not.

not having a relationship with her because there's so many friends of mine that have like really really good relationships with their mother. Both male and female. And you know maybe I maybe I missed out on you know something and maybe that's why parts of me are broken I don't know. But you know it's interesting but then I you know I have friends who have who are trying to fix relationships with their parents still to this day.

Tina (: 36:28

Yeah, I do too. I was just talking to someone who was saying that they can't stand their father and he's been going in and out the hospital. And I was like, yeah, you need to fix that like quick because he's not going to be around for long time and you don't fix it for them, you fix it for you. And, and...

Robb (: 36:45

Exactly.

Totally. I've seen it with a friend of mine that she has

Tina (: 36:49

There's been so many times when I've told people that and they've actually worked on their relationship and they got to a good place with their parents. And I'm grateful for that because I would think it could be so much worse. It could just be so much worse. Having regret and resentments and being frustrated, I'm so glad.

Robb (: 37:16

Not the greatest relationship with her mother. But I've seen it recently within the last year, just because I've been around her more the last year, that she's is building a bridge to it. Now, is it going to change everything? Of course not. Because there's wounds with all of us that will never be healed. But I think that there's things that you have to realize like

Tina (: 37:33

Okay.

Nothing.

Robb (: 37:45

They're your parents. And maybe they did their best job. you know, because I think I don't know a lot of what my dad went through. Because. A little bit, but not. Look, I, man. Look, I can't I can't say I had a bad childhood. I just can't. And and maybe that. You know it.

Tina (: 37:47

Absolutely.

Tina (: 37:56

You haven't talked to him about it?

Tina (: 38:09

Yeah.

Robb (: 38:15

I think with people around me when I hear about their childhoods, it's for me, it's hard because like I don't I don't resonate with them. Because like my you know, mostly with my mom, my relationship with my mom was every two weeks for three days. She was a Disneyland parent. It was awesome. I would go, you know, I'd take take my best friend out there. We'd go hang out. She'd order pizzas and we'd watch, you know.

Tina (: 38:25

Yeah.

Tina (: 38:36

He

Robb (: 38:42

pseudo porn movies because it was like Porky's and you we just go out there and raise hell for three days and then come back home so it was like it was great my dad I had a you know my dad was stern but I can't say that he wasn't he wasn't horrible he was just he was very stern you know I had to be in a certain time and had to get you know had to work at school and regular stuff just regular things

Tina (: 38:45

you

Tina (: 38:59

Yeah.

Ed Rules

Robb (: 39:08

But I don't know the back end of what he went through. He was a single dad with at one point two sons until my brother moved out. But you know, and you know, he worked a lot and he worked as much overtime as he could. And at that time I was like, okay, you you're just you're working it because it's there. No, it was work. He was working it because he was probably, you know, trying to survive just like I am today. You know, so.

You start looking at it like that and look I mean my dad's 81 years old I don't know how much time he's got left Yeah But you know like my dad's lived a good life and he is his wife is 20 years younger than him and thank goodness I know she's there to take care of him and and it's really funny because she's such an old soul. She's from the Midwest

Tina (: 39:48

So your dad's like four years older than mine. Wait.

Robb (: 40:06

Even when they started dating he was 45 and she was 25. She seemed so much different than what you would what I would have thought of then. She was such an old soul even then. And maybe that's just the Midwest person you know there you're definitely a different kind of folk that when you come from there. But look I gotta give it to him. He my dad also did that. He lived. He didn't worry about what

Tina (: 40:20

Yeah.

Tina (: 40:29

for sure.

Robb (: 40:36

You know, I think he he did worry in the beginning about what the kids would think. But I don't think he really worried because I told him the first time, like, go be happy. And and I hope that my son is the same way. And I've talked to him about, you know, it's so funny, the person that I like. At certain times. Thought my son didn't like her was like, oh, you know, your son doesn't like me because I've hurt you over the years at this business. And I went, OK.

Tina (: 40:45

Yeah.

Robb (: 41:05

I don't think that way and and I've asked him And he my son's very honest he matter of fact honest to To the point where he could he he'll probably hurt someone's feelings at some point. He's very honest But he he he wrote something to me because I was talking to him About her and he said because we all hung out one night me her her son my son and

Tina (: 41:16

to fault. Yeah.

Robb (: 41:35

my son's girlfriend at the time. We all had a good old time and had some drinks and were just sitting around. And then I said something to him and he goes, a couple of days later, I said, oh, you know this and you know, she still thinks this about you. And he goes, you know, I really wish she'd come over here more because she'd liven up the place. And and look, I know my son has issues with his mother and my friend is very motherly and

That's one of the things I really like about her. That she's just a good mom and even though our kids shit on us all the time and think that we're horrible and whatever. Yeah, and I see, because she'll tell me things about her kids. And she's a great mom. She's just, you know, she's very stern and very open about things and she'll tell them and they don't want to hear that shit.

Tina (: 42:16

Fucking kids.

Robb (: 42:34

And look, we all see things from a different point of view, you know, it's That's just the that's the way truths are they're all from a certain point of view but it's interesting that that you know, I Probably wish I would have talked to my mom more about that because my mom knows about or knew that she's not here anymore knew about my friend down the street and I had told her all kinds of different things about her and It's so funny because the way my mom was it was like

What are you waiting for? You gotta go get her. And who cares if you know that she's in this kind of thing and this in this go get her, go get her, go get her, go get her. And I think that that's because my mom lived that way. My mom would have been like jumping feet first, see what happens. And if it doesn't work, at least you guys both know and you can move on with your lives. It's like, shit, because my mom was. Well, because my mom, I think as far as I know, and we never really got too deep into it, but

Tina (: 43:22

Yeah.

But it literally is that easy.

Robb (: 43:33

My mom was unhappy with my father for whatever reason. And, and she, guess, woke up one day and was like, yeah, I don't want to this anymore. And ended it just very, and it was very much like that from both sides that I've kind of, you know, got information out of them. And like I said, my mom regretted it years later, but, I found it that my mom pushed me to be the same as her. Like, look,

Tina (: 43:52

Yeah.

Robb (: 44:01

You're only here one time if it works you'll be in a great place if it doesn't guys both at least know and you can move on and I think that I Want to live that way with everything now? Because I I'm I Know and I hate to say I'm kind of like you or you kind of wonder I I have this weird feeling that I'm gonna die young And to me young is anything under 70 so I'm not saying I'm gonna die tomorrow

Tina (: 44:12

Absolutely, and you should.

Robb (: 44:30

But I think anything under 70 is still in that ballpark of, wow, that's kind of young to die. So I want to try these things and I want to live a little bit and I want to have the last remaining years of my life be whatever it can be at the top of the thing. Because I don't want to be like some of my friends that I've seen that right now are miserable and they're going to continue to be miserable because

They are. Yeah, well, your your life is yours to change if you if you keep going through the same circles and doing the same bullshit that's on you. You know, and. I kind of said that to somebody the other day, you know, she's in a bad marriage and I was like on you divorce is hard. That's another thing I said that divorce is hard, but.

Tina (: 45:00

They're not changing their responses to life.

Tina (: 45:29

Divorce is hard, but laying next to somebody that you can't connect with is harder. It's also harder to not be touched. It's harder to not have sex. It's harder to have to work and do all these things for a person that does not say thank you. It's harder to do all that. It wasn't hard to get divorced because I didn't fight it.

Robb (: 45:34

For sure.

Robb (: 45:50

I agree.

Tina (: 45:58

And didn't fight it. So it was very easy. you know, if you're at the point where you're not even wanting to be with each other, there should be no fighting. Just should be very easy to just break it off and and do something that makes you happy. Not that being single is going to make you happy because a lot of people aren't happy being single. I'm kind of kind of digging the whole single thing. You know, I'm not I'm not a.

I'm not stressed out very much, that's for sure.

Robb (: 46:28

Yeah, no, I talked to like even here we were the other day we were both talking with my friend on the street and we were talking about marriage and she's like, I'm not sure if I want to get married. And I said, look, that scares me. I don't want to say like I do, but I would.

Tina (: 46:38

I don't.

Robb (: 46:44

but it does scare me. It scares me totally again. I think now, I, I've talked to her about just how I feel about marriage now and what I think it's kind of like, I'll give you an example. If I, if I got with somebody who owned a house right now and I would totally sign a prenup. The house is yours. If you had it before me, I don't want to, I'm not fighting at the end of any marriage over

Tina (: 46:45

I'm on the fence.

Robb (: 47:14

Fucking things. They're just things. All this shit we have. The TV in the living room, the fucking... All this shit is nonsense. It's all gonna be sold off by our kids for, you know, pennies on the dollar. Yeah, or given away to the fucking goodwill, or thrown in the trash. They're just things.

Tina (: 47:16

Mm.

Tina (: 47:29

if that.

Tina (: 47:33

or just thrown in a trash bin and moved on.

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 47:40

I think that there's like there are things here that I hope are passed down. There's things that I've told my kid that I want him to keep and and that kind of thing. But mostly they're just things you. You can't you can't. You can't. Replicate. Love with things. But you know.

I've heard people go, know, money won't buy you happiness. And look, I think it's a good start, but I was listening to a comedian, Tom Segura. He was on a podcast and even he said it. He was like, you know, he goes, I was broke and I thought, man, I can't wait to be rich. And he goes, I'm rich. And you know what? I'm not happy. Like at least not the same way he goes, look, it's great if you want things.

Tina (: 48:13

It sure won't.

Robb (: 48:39

He goes, but that again, they're just things. And I think a lot of us are living for things instead of living for something way bigger than that. And again, I think my, my belief in God now and things that I've been seen, I think that, you know, you read the Bible and

You know, there's so many things about being in a relationship and being one with all of us. It's there is a hierarchy of that of, know, God, husband, wife, children. There's an umbrella and a lot of different things. But I think that the more that I see things like that, you know, all these people way back and I mean, way the fuck back. They had nothing but relationship. They only had

that because everyone was poor and you were lucky to be living and they probably lived a much a much happier life than we live now and we have things you know I don't know I just think that that we need to really get busy living do whatever it is that you want strive for it go get it if there's something you want make sure that everyone around you knows it make sure your kids know you love them

Tina (: 49:43

That is absolutely true too.

Tina (: 49:57

I'm with you.

Robb (: 50:06

Make sure your wife or your husband knows that you love them that the people that you want in your life know that you love them Friends, you know even you know like me and you like I know that you know that I love you to death and and that kind of thing but like We you really got to remind each other that on such a higher level That because we either of us could go to bed tonight and not wake up

Tina (: 50:28

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 50:36

And I want and I want the people that are very close to me that I really They that they really need to know that I love them that I want them to know that regardless of whether it's romantic Friendship, whatever it is and I don't say it enough to my you know, my male friends, you know my best friend I Don't say it enough and and I think that I'm gonna start doing that in text messages all the time I tell my son every day. I love him every day before I go to bed

Tina (: 51:05

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 51:06

He knows it and the rest of the people in my life are going to start hearing it more because I think everyone needs to know it because I don't want to be I don't want to die one night and not say it to somebody and then they the next night their next day they question what our what our relationship was so I don't know I'm not afraid of death but I'm not in a hurry to get there

Tina (: 51:26

anything. Yeah.

Robb (: 51:35

But we all need to start living. And that means whether if you're 50 or 20, live when you're 20. Look how many people die young, mostly now. You know, shit, I heard something about cocaine the other day. know, cocaine in the 80s was everywhere, right? Everyone was doing cocaine in the 80s. Now people are afraid to do cocaine now because of fentanyl.

Tina (: 52:04

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 52:04

So now you can I mean and again I'm not a drug guy but you know the the joke of this guy was telling us you can't even do cocaine anymore like can't do anything anymore so just live that that's my thing coming from this I I just want uh you know all the people out there tell everyone around you that you love them make sure they know make sure that whatever they mean to you they they know it that they're special in your life

Tina (: 52:12

Yep.

Robb (: 52:33

make make sure they know it because man it's it's so difficult and and so hard when we lose somebody and and you didn't say anything i'm kind of mad because i stopped talking to my friend in new york because she just kind of got crazy on me and and i wish that i would have hit her up you know a few more times just to say hey you know i'm thinking about you and i hope you know i hope you're getting better or i hope everything's okay because

out of nowhere she just died one night and and it and it was it kind of you know it just it it was a very big reality check that it could be any of us that's yeah that's already in the queue i just gotta wait for i gotta wait for winter so it'll be soon i'll probably go in you know probably may

Tina (: 53:05

Yeah, that's crazy.

Tina (: 53:19

So go make your plan reservations to go see your dad.

Robb (: 53:32

When it's warm go for you know go for a week But Yeah, we'll see I'd like to take somebody back there Maybe I'll take my best friend back there and see if he wants to go or she wants to go either one Just it'd be nice to I don't want to and that not that I don't want to go alone But it would be nice to go with somebody just to pass the time too because you know, like my my it's not like my dad's

Tina (: 53:38

There you go.

Robb (: 54:00

wants to go out on the town all the time. It'd be nice to kind of do things on my own as I go back there and visit as well. Yeah, I guess where he lives, they have like this huge reptile. Like zoo, like massive. It's in South Dakota, just like the wildest thing, like, how the fuck did you get like they have alligators and all kinds of crazy shit. Bizarre. All right, teenagers, one last thing. What are you going to say?

Tina (: 54:02

Mm.

Tina (: 54:06

There you go.

Tina (: 54:15

Interesting.

Tina (: 54:19

that in South Dakota.

Tina (: 54:27

There's no time like the present.

Robb (: 54:31

I was gonna try to top it, but I'm not. That's perfect. That's super perfect. Hey, make sure you're sharing our show. When you listen to it, send it to your relatives, your friends. Just send them a link. Check us out on all social medias. And we're out every Wednesday. Yeah.

opinion show. Don't get it twisted. Keep coming back every Wednesday. For Tina, I'm Rob. We will see you in a week. Bye.

Tina (: 54:59

See ya.