EP # 188 Navigating the Depths of Depression and how to help.

Robb (: 00:01

And welcome to another show of Don't Get This Twisted. I am Rob along with my co-host as always, Tina. How doing, Tina? Yeah, well, I would say you're alone, but no one's doing that great. So. Yeah, you got a whole trunk full of shit, so.

Tina (: 00:06

I am just hanging in there Rob. That's all I got for you today.

Tina (: 00:17

Yeah, no, there's a lot going on here.

Tina (: 00:24

Yeah, I thought we'd kind of talk about it today and also talk about how we deal with our depression because I think everybody's going through it right now in some degree and we should be talking about how we maneuver through that.

Robb (: 00:34

Mm hmm. Yeah, I think that's a great idea. Before we get too crazy, I want to I want to tell you a joke. Actually, not a joke, but something that someone said to me that friends with. So I was talking sex with somebody.

Tina (: 00:42

Yeah.

Robb (: 00:54

And I thought that I was going to be really good because I went good at cardio. And you know what she told me? I said, I don't get it. Like, how do you get like better in shape for sex? And no joke, looked me right in the eyes and went, you just have more sex. His best line ever. And who it was delivered by was even better. So it was just made it even that more special because. Yeah, yeah, she she she giggled.

Tina (: 01:01

Wish.

Tina (: 01:09

Yes.

Tina (: 01:18

And that is why we have always been friends.

Robb (: 01:23

She snorted giggled right after it like she usually does it was Yeah Because I thought like I'm in pretty good shape man. I fucking I have like 10 to 12 000 steps a day. Nah, don't help But but it was funny No, no, I just

Tina (: 01:25

That's right. And she's right. The more you have sex with a person, more my brother calls it freestyling. The more you get freestyle, the more you get to know a person, the more you do things together. And yeah, it's funny.

Tina (: 01:46

Ah, steps, nobody's stepping during sex. And if you do, you're like, hey, I want to see it.

Robb (: 01:54

Yeah, I thought it was quite funny. I thought it was quite humorous. And right behind that she goes, and guess what? At least you're not balding. I was like, damn, that's kind of nice. I love her to death. She's such a sweetheart. And like anything, we're all in weird positions. So I thought it was kind of an interesting thing, but she's always got something funny to say. So it's good stuff. You will. I'll, yeah.

Tina (: 01:57

I love her.

Tina (: 02:02

Yeah.

Tina (: 02:07

Hmm.

Tina (: 02:15

I'm gonna have to get in contact with her and see her myself. I need to, I don't know why we don't, we're so fun when we're together.

Robb (: 02:24

And you're so close now. Yeah, yeah, like. A few blocks. yeah. Yeah, yeah, like I would say. I don't want to say the side streets, but yeah, I'll tell you off air. She's like really close to you, like really, really close. All right, so we're going to.

Tina (: 02:26

Really?

Tina (: 02:30

same neighborhood shut up i'm definitely can't yeah okay

Tina (: 02:42

Okay.

We ran in similar circles, so it'll be nice to get back together.

Robb (: 02:48

Correct. yeah, yeah, for sure. Her her children go to the rival school of ours. Yeah, yeah, the first thing she said, the first thing she the first thing she said was green shit. And I went, yeah, pretty much. Yeah, so so depression. And look, I know there's a lot of people going through.

Tina (: 02:58

shoot, how funny is that? Yeah, let's talk off-air. I feel bad like we're having to...

Green shit is what we used to say. Yeah, that's funny.

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 03:18

this and for lots of different reasons, right? Financially, I think finances play a big part. Relationships obviously play a big part. Health plays a big part. Like these are those things that will really kind of turn you into a whole nother neighborhood of feeling shitty. So you're there.

Tina (: 03:21

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 03:40

Mm-hmm. Absolutely. I don't normally have, yeah, I don't normally have financial issues, but for some reason the other night my finances really kept me awake. I did not realize that that is like the one thing in this world that can keep me, excuse me, from going to sleep. Who knew? I stayed up all night worrying about something I didn't even need to worry about and it was kind of weird.

Robb (: 03:46

I mean, I can understand, you know, these days finances are just rough.

Tina (: 04:09

It was kinda weird.

Robb (: 04:15

It's just a, you know, like most people are living paycheck to paycheck. And I think the more you make, the more you spend, you know, most people don't really, you know, hamper down and start putting things away. Some people are just in positions that, you know, like they're, they make enough to pay the rent and, you know, eat and do all their stuff. But, you know, you start thinking like, you know, there's gotta be something more.

Tina (: 04:15

Yeah.

Tina (: 04:20

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 04:25

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 04:44

And that'll tailspin you into another depression. So I get it. Yeah, that's probably true. Yeah.

Tina (: 04:45

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 04:48

You know what was funny is I heard the other day that if you live in California you are paying about $5,000 a year in gas alone.

And I was like, well, if you put that with my car payment and my insurance, that's like close to $10,000 a year, more than $10,000 a year just to be able to go from point A to point B. And that's not my trike. That's just my car. So I was like, what the hell are we all doing?

Robb (: 05:10

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I drive 50 miles a day. Every day. Pretty crazy. Pretty crazy. Yeah, I mean, and look, the price of everything is going up. It's just a fact. And it's been going, you know, people would love to

Tina (: 05:23

Damn.

Tina (: 05:28

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 05:34

Yeah.

Robb (: 05:37

Blame the current administration, but look we've had issues with prices for years This isn't anything new Unfortunately in this state we have so many taxes on gas like our gas right now. I don't know what you're paying where you're at It's about 455 for regular where I'm at So think about the most gas in this country is like

Tina (: 05:44

years.

Robb (: 06:06

$3. Yeah, makes you sick. Yeah, exactly. So.

Tina (: 06:09

less than. My dad said it was 265 when he was going back east and and at the day he told me that I I gassed up at 489 and that's not that's not the highest octane gas that's the lowest so it's crazy so yeah so finances are just they will keep people up and I noticed that a lot of people are talking but they're having a harder time keeping ends meet.

Robb (: 06:27

Mm-hmm a lot. I know a lot of people That yeah, and look I mean I won't lie and tell you that I don't live paycheck to paycheck I do for sure like I mean do I have a couple of bucks here and there yes, but it's not like I have an extra thousand dollars. That's no so

Tina (: 06:39

That's not good.

Tina (: 06:45

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 06:49

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 06:55

Yeah.

Robb (: 06:57

It's rough. mean, we also live in a state where everything's more expensive. Yeah, you know, and then like, look, relationships will obviously throw you into depression. That's a common fact. mean. Yeah, every yeah, every kind of relationship will throw you into.

Tina (: 07:02

Everything's taxed to the gills.

Tina (: 07:10

Mmm. Yeah, it does relate not just not just sexual relationships, but also like children parents siblings cousins every type

Robb (: 07:27

You know, I mean, I try to look at the romantic side just because, you know, you're looking at married couples that are going through financial issues. And so as a couple, right, if you're, if you're a married couple, you're going through finances together, kids together. So now you're having issues that we just talked about, and then they compound on, you know, having to deal with it at home. And then we've talked about, you know, many times on here where either party isn't

having sexual relations. So that drives people to do either depression or do things they shouldn't, you know. And then health, you know, you're going through kind of a thing with that where, you know, health of people around us and or ourselves will lead you into depression. You know,

Tina (: 08:06

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 08:19

yeah, this is, so my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer and it's been a process getting him ready to have a surgery. His surgery is actually going to be tomorrow, but it's put him in such a disposition that he's, mean, I'm micromanaged to no end. Don't park here, park there. Go this street, not that street. You better get us there on time.

Robb (: 08:22

right.

Tina (: 08:48

I have to go the bathroom. You need to pull over. and everything is like, I'm on the freeway. Where would you like me to pull over? Like, what do want me to do? You know, it's, it's, it's, all of his requests are, kind of like, they don't make sense. It's like, no, I can't pull over, hold it. Why didn't you go to the bathroom before? You know, that's, and I don't like being that person. It's just,

Robb (: 08:54

Right. Right. Right.

Tina (: 09:13

Take care yourself. Let me get you from point A to point B. If I was an Uber driver, would you be telling me to worry about where you're going to shit? Like, no, no, that's not. So from that to, you know, take me to this appointment, you need to get this done. You need to get that paperwork done. Like we're going through that because this is a pretty heavy surgery. So yeah, so I'm dealing with that. And then family coming in from out of town that I don't deal with and don't want to see and will not tolerate their bullshit.

Robb (: 09:21

All right.

Tina (: 09:43

cause I've got a, a small, I got a small area to which I will put up with people's crap and then I shut it down. So I'm feeling really kind of depressed lately, which is why we started this. You were kind of feeling down last week and I'm, I'm over, I want to run to Greece so bad. I can't even stand it right now. Like I'm there. and then dealing with friends, health, like having really bad health problems is another thing people that are really close to me.

Robb (: 09:51

Right. Yeah.

Tina (: 10:14

I'm feeling it. I'm feeling it a lot. Like my friends are like, come over here. You know, we could hang out, but it's not changing the way I feel.

Robb (: 10:23

Right, or the drive to actually go do it. That's the other thing. I found myself overly tired. And I don't know why.

Tina (: 10:25

Right, right.

Tina (: 10:33

Yes. Well, if you're depressed, you want to sleep. That's just a given. Your body wants to shut down. It's a coping mechanism for dealing with stress. So it makes sense to me is you're yawning right now. That's funny.

Robb (: 10:47

Yeah, I mean for me though, like it's not just like I'm I'm physically tired But I'm I mean I'm mentally tired too like I Generally at work cuz I get up early to go to the gym Which I haven't done in a couple of days either just cuz I've been kind of like I just don't feel like going

Tina (: 10:55

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 11:07

But I get up so early I usually nap at lunch I'm lucky I have a I have a place where I can I can eat right before I go to lunch and I can literally go in and sit on a couch or or lay down on a couch and go to sleep I'm I'm very lucky that I can do that and I put on my I have headphones I wear a hoodie I put it up and I go to sleep which is awesome But then I find myself if I sleep too much I feel like shit too So it's a rough thing

Tina (: 11:22

Nice.

Tina (: 11:34

Yeah. Well, your body needs to move, so you need to get back to the gym because that is one way getting your endorphins up and rolling is a good way to counteract stress too.

Robb (: 11:37

Correct. Yeah, get back to it. I'm going to get my ass back to the gym and I'm also going to start doing my walks that I usually do at lunchtime. I just haven't been doing them. yeah, and look, you know, you can you can make excuses for a lot of things.

Tina (: 11:57

There you go.

Robb (: 12:06

It's very easy to like just be like, yeah, I don't feel like going I don't feel like doing this or I don't feel like doing that I think part of that is depression is debilitating it will it will crush you Very badly. I mean my old roommate She had clinical depression So she could feel it coming on Which was very bizarre to me. Like she would come and tell me like

Tina (: 12:10

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 12:18

Yeah.

Tina (: 12:28

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 12:35

I'm gonna go through a spell. really don't feel like I'm and then but she was good at it. She would just disappear. I just poof or she was really good at just walking in my room laying on the bed and want me to talk, which is great because I'm you know, I'm a talker. Yeah, but but I could see how that could get. mean, it didn't get out of hand for me. Not really a lot because she she was really good about it and she knew like she didn't want to bother me all the time with it.

Tina (: 12:50

That's easy. Yeah.

Robb (: 13:04

So she would she would really hit me when it was fucking horrible Which is you know fine? Yeah and look I I'm generally there for the people around me and I'm friends with a lot of people and I do my best to To be that cushion, but it's hard sometimes when you're going through it, and you don't want to tell anybody And I'll tell you as a guy.

Tina (: 13:08

Yeah, well she probably needed to.

Tina (: 13:29

Yeah.

Robb (: 13:32

It's common. We don't want to tell anyone we're going through shit. Nobody wants to hear, I'm doing shitty. Do you want to hear about it? I mean...

Tina (: 13:35

You know, I'm kind of with you. I don't tell people people like how you doing? I'm like I say fine every time and my friends are like you're not fine. Quit saying that you're fine. I'm like what do what do they really want to hear? Does anybody really want to hear like what's going on just because they said so what's going on like they're they want to hear everything's good.

Tina (: 13:57

Yeah, right? Well, since he asked me, pull up a chair and here's some coffee. got it. got a shit ton. I got it dump on you. You know, I just say fine. It's easier to say fine.

Robb (: 14:07

Yeah. It's funny because at work I'm I'm sarcastic generally speaking, you know, I will say stuff and people will not know how to take it or get offended.

And I don't care. it likes people walk into my place and like, hey, how you doing today? I'm like, could be better. Wish I wasn't here. Do you want to know? Sit down. It's going to take a while. And it's funny because they look at me like, yeah. And I do my best to just kind of run through it and be like, ha ha ha ha. But I mean, there's days where I'm just like I'm spent, you know, and like I when I generally get to a place, I disappear.

Tina (: 14:42

Now what do I say?

Tina (: 14:52

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 14:58

Yeah, I do too.

Robb (: 14:59

I like, I just disappear, I cut off and I cut off people and quickly. And I try not to, and I really, you know, sometimes I sit back and go, man, that was kind of cunty. Like, I shouldn't have done that. But then I've already done it. And then I'm like, you know, how do you, how do you step back and be like, I should have done this. Look, like.

Tina (: 15:05

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 15:24

It's like my friend in North Carolina. I haven't talked to her in three years. Yeah, and I feel shitty. but I don't know how. No, but like things ended very bizarre out of that situation. And but I should have reached out. I should have because it was kind of thrown. The ball was thrown in my court like, hey.

Tina (: 15:28

Wow.

Tina (: 15:34

What does she call you?

Robb (: 15:51

When you get past this little thing, you know, let's talk and I just, you know, I shut people down. I'll just disappear. I don't care. I'm just like, okay, fuck off and good luck. And I shouldn't do that, but that's what I do. And I think it's because I believe it's better for my mental health sometimes. Just make them disappear. And if they disappear, then they're, know, no harm, no foul, which isn't good.

Tina (: 16:11

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Robb (: 16:19

because I find myself doing it and then kind of going, God, I just shouldn't have did that. But sometimes it's warranted. But in this case, think I want to reach out to her, but I also don't want to be like, hey, what's going on? I know it's been a while. I don't know how to message her and go, how do I do that? And look, I'm going to do it because shh.

She's, I've known her since I was 16 years old. She was my roommate for years. She's a great person and I really want to touch base with her just because she's my friend and she means that much to me. But, you know, then there's the thing that, you know, that comes with that where I'm like, okay, if I do this, then, then, you know, this might happen or this might happen. And then I'm like, huh, do I really want to go through that or should I just cut them off and be done?

So I don't know I have the only time I ever text her is on Christmas and her birthday Yeah, I I mean yeah, I just want to like clear the air even if it's just hey I'm just checking in and I want to make sure that like we're good and That kind of thing cuz like friends do mean something They just do

Tina (: 17:25

So wait till one of those and text her.

Tina (: 17:42

Absolutely.

Robb (: 17:44

Sometimes you have to disconnect from people or your own self-care. I don't want to say that it's mean-spirited, but it's just better for everyone involved, I think. And I thought when I left there, you know, I kind of shit the bed and I should have just came back and waited a week and then, you know, kind of

Tina (: 17:51

Well-being, yeah.

Robb (: 18:14

Called and said hey, you know, sorry for what happened and Let's let's not burn a bridge. And now I feel like the bridge is like Severely burned and like it's gonna take some rebuilding But you know such as life, I mean you can only do so much right you can So at some point you have to decide what you're gonna do so you don't end up in a depression or some kind of Because I think when I came back from there I was

Tina (: 18:39

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 18:43

really depressed. yeah, and you know, look, and I've gone through some other stuff, and I'm doing my best not to go into that depression mode, because I'm trying to look at the situation from the standpoint of everyone involved, and just kind of go, okay.

Tina (: 18:45

Yeah, it seemed like.

Tina (: 19:01

You could look at a situation from every other side that you want to, but you also have to acknowledge your own heart and what you've been through and how it felt to you. And if you don't do that, it will lead you to feeling depressed and unappreciated and treated poorly. And you don't want that either. You have to be true to yourself.

Robb (: 19:13

Correct. Correct. Right, right. And I think I have been with her. You know, she's... Look, I was...

going through a lot in my own brain when I was back there anyway and and sometimes I think I was just trying to escape here you know in general but look I you know the the waves that that we're trying to slow down this depression is you know you had a lot of them that you kind of threw at me the other day and I was like yeah I should probably do that and probably do that and I should probably do that

Tina (: 19:43

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 20:02

Yeah, I came up with a lot of good ones. Well, I've always suffered from depression to some degree. I think I think on my dad's side of the family, there's some some of that going on. I definitely know that my dad suffers from it from time to time. And my dad's way of dealing with me was get up, get moving. I don't want you coming back here, get your shit together and, you know, fix your attitude. And you know, it worked for me when he would do that to me, I'd be like,

Robb (: 20:04

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

All right.

Tina (: 20:32

I guess I got a problem is I better get up and go do something, you know, because I was forced to and in doing so It got me out of the depression and I find that even now with my father now I'm doing it to him as a There's none of this shit like get out there and go see your friends go do something But you're not gonna sit here all day because that's exactly what he told me But for me that that kind of does work I also have seasonal depression where where when the when it rains a lot or when there's a lot of clouds or

Robb (: 20:59

Yeah, I'm kind of the same where it mine is either does that or it drives me into just ultra lazy mode.

Tina (: 21:02

you know, it's, it's, the weather's not sunny. I really suffer depression. If it's raining, you might as well just throw a blanket over my head and let me go back to sleep because other than getting up to go to the restroom, I don't even care if I eat. That's how depressed I get.

Robb (: 21:28

Like I just want to fucking watch TV, make popcorn, get blankets and you know, watch a good movie. I'm going to throw some out at you that I looked it up on the interwebs because you know me, I always liked it. This one I thought was pretty good. It says create rewarding goals. So basically sense of accomplishment, like pleasure, engagement, meaning and positive relationships. That totally makes sense. I mean,

Tina (: 21:34

Yeah, just cover up. Just cover up.

Tina (: 21:43

you

Tina (: 21:55

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 21:56

I think having a goal is good. You know, like it says like make sure that if you have something to do, put a reminder on your phone so you're reminded of it. So you try to complete said goal and I think that there's something to that. This one is for sure. Find fulfilling activities. Like exercise, I think that's.

Tina (: 22:14

Yes. Exercise is so important when you're depressed. If you get your body moving, you can't stay depressed. have to, you have to keep moving. You have to, get your, get your blood pumping, get your endorphins going. That does really help depression for sure.

Robb (: 22:33

Yeah. Yeah, I think it's a lot of it too is like, it's, it's also what we just talked about. It's like a motivation thing. Like got to get up. You got to go do this. You got to it's just

It's driving something to a goal, which I think is really good. Recognize unhelpful thoughts. Man, if it was that easy. yeah, for sure. Right. And and I'm.

Tina (: 22:49

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 22:59

Well, it is it is that easy and you know when you're having those thoughts you personally know so you have you've you've already yeah, that's half the battle is just knowing what you're What you're thinking is just not making you any happier

Robb (: 23:15

These days I do my best to shake that out and just go, you know, you know, and I think that for me, that's it. Like, you know that this is a shitty thought and there's, there's no reason for it because you already you're here because of that. Like, you know, so just stop, you know, it's, and I'm doing my best to definitely get there. Add positive moments to your day. Journal acts of kindness towards others, participate in volunteer charity work.

Tina (: 23:18

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 23:31

Yeah.

Robb (: 23:44

Yeah, that makes sense. think a lot of that is.

Tina (: 23:46

tell a joke to somebody. You know, it's funny how I'm often in just not in a great mood. You know, work is frustrating. People are frustrating, whatever. And I'm, I find that I just can't find anything happy to say. That happens to me quite often. So I've resorted to looking online to find a funny joke to tell somebody just so that they'll laugh with me. And you know, that has actually helped a lot, believe it or not.

Robb (: 24:15

Yeah, the guy at my work is like Mr. Dad Joke. man. And some of them are, I gotta say are pretty funny and some are just like, my goodness me. Yeah.

Tina (: 24:19

Huh.

Tina (: 24:25

dumber than a box of rocks. Yeah. But but that's if you're putting it out there, like if you're making an effort to stay positive, your body will start to do that on its own. Like you create the type of personality that you that you want to have. And if you want to have a healthy, happy personality, you do what you have to do to do that. And

You know, if dad jokes are a way to do it, I say go for it. I like dad jokes.

Robb (: 24:57

Yeah, yeah for sure.

They're funny. Here's some other tips for coping with depression. And I think you pretty much said this yesterday. Eating healthy. Makes sense. Yeah. Because if you put shit in your body, you're probably going to feel like shit. Create a morning pampering ritual. well, look at that. I mean, there's a there is a joke there, but.

Tina (: 25:00

Yeah.

Tina (: 25:08

Mm-hmm. Eat some veggies.

Tina (: 25:14

Exactly.

Tina (: 25:20

I'd never thought of that.

Robb (: 25:28

Yeah. Says married married women found pampering or less likely to experience depression. So if you go get your nails done or your toes or. Yeah, no, I understand where like that small moment in time is going to at least get you out of snap you out of that. Go outside. That's

Tina (: 25:29

Pamper away.

Tina (: 25:42

I always get my nails and toes done. I still get depressed, but I get it.

Tina (: 25:51

Yeah.

Tina (: 25:54

Yes.

Get some sunlight.

Robb (: 25:58

100 100 110 bazillion percent. It's so important Yeah Yeah, there is something to that it's

Tina (: 26:03

Yes. You know, you'd be surprised how good you feel after you walk barefoot in grass. I've been doing that for years because it does actually help calm me down. And I've told so many people to do that. And the ones that listen are like, my gosh, I love doing that. Yeah, I know it's kind of cool. There definitely is. Yeah.

Robb (: 26:27

You become one with nature. Yeah. Improve your sleep, obviously, I think. Those are... Yeah. So it says like avoid stimulants before bed, caffeine, reduce alcohol intake. Just in general. They said that's one of the biggest ones. Stop drinking. Yeah. Yeah. So it... And it says create a relaxing aesthetic in your bedroom.

Tina (: 26:35

Yeah, when I don't sleep, I'm a bitch. I am.

Tina (: 26:48

Well, drinking is a downer, so alcohol is a downer.

Robb (: 26:57

So dark. You know what really works for me? Brown noise. Just look, look it up on YouTube. It's think of white noise, but it's at a much lesser pitch. So it's kind of a deeper tone. I really like it. I put it on my bedroom all the time. It's yeah, it's super good. Super cool.

Tina (: 27:02

What is brown noise? I've heard all the different ones, but...

Tina (: 27:17

Really?

Because I find just playing music helps me to not be depressed.

Robb (: 27:24

I mean me too, I'm a music fanatic, but I also, I listen to music that will make you depressed. So I gotta be careful about where I go and what genre. but you know, look, I think even songs that remind you of people have, will at least, it'll set you free sometimes. It's like, yeah, this reminds me of this person. I heard a song the other day.

Tina (: 27:27

Me too.

Tina (: 27:36

Yep.

Robb (: 27:51

that reminded me of the girl I dated in New York and since she's passed away it kind of got me kind of got me like for the first time I was like yeah like not here anymore and and it was a song like that she dedicated to me in 11th grade so it was like it was a song by Freddie Jackson so

Tina (: 27:59

Yeah.

Tina (: 28:11

what song was it?

Tina (: 28:18

Okay, keep going. What was the song?

Robb (: 28:19

I would have to look up the exact title. But even so, it was one of those things where it didn't bring me totally down, but it definitely wrote, yeah, life is changing. And it's okay that life is changing.

Tina (: 28:23

Awww.

Tina (: 28:35

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 28:40

See, that's key though. Life is changing. I always say if you're feeling depressed, remember this isn't going to last forever. It cannot possibly last forever because life is always changing. People are always growing. Situations are always finding a solution. You know, there's always things that are happening. And if you look for them, you'll find them. But if you look to be depressed, you'll find that too.

Robb (: 28:51

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Correct. you know, one of my big statements I was telling somebody the other day, I said, look, life goes on no matter what, but it doesn't wait for. So, and those are things to remember, you know, like my thing is be careful what you wish for. You might just get it.

Tina (: 29:20

Mm-hmm.

No, it doesn't wait for you at all.

Tina (: 29:28

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 29:34

Man, do I have some stories on that one, but yes, you're absolutely right.

Robb (: 29:37

Yeah, and it's true and and at the end of the day, you know, that's just what life is I wish that we had a better understanding of why we're here You know, I I hope at the pearly gates God sits down with everyone for a few minutes and just goes this is why You know cuz there's days I wonder like why in the fuck are we here? Because

Tina (: 29:48

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 30:03

Sometimes it just doesn't make sense to me and and like I know people who are are very biblical and They'll just say it doesn't matter like there there is a reason and I'm sure there is and I and I hope there is like I said I hope I Stand at the feet of God and he gets to tell me like this is why you were here It you were here for this whatever it is Because like there's days I wake up and go fuck. I don't know why I'm here. I don't and it's like

And again, not that I'm like trying to be Debbie Downer, but it is it's an odd thing sometimes just to kind of um Here's another one, but you just said it so move your body. Okay, keep going I like read a book

Tina (: 30:44

Move your body. Move your body and challenge your brain. Like read a book, do something you're not good at, force yourself to be alive.

Robb (: 31:01

I was reading lots of books for a while and I kind of got off the train and I bought some books. I have a book out there it's called boundaries. Basically how to have boundaries with people and I'm gonna start reading that one. So I think that look anything that will take you away from the current mind and heart string pulling because that's generally what it is and it's about anything I'm not

Tina (: 31:12

Mmm.

Robb (: 31:31

It could be about, you know, your heart and your mind are always at battle, regardless of what it is. I saw a video today about this guy was walking through a park. And I think what he does is he takes pictures of people with their pets. And he just happened to run on this girl and he's like, hey, how you doing? She's like, not well. This is my last day with my dog because I'm taking him to the vet tomorrow to put him down. And it was like. Like.

Tina (: 31:56

geez.

Robb (: 32:01

heart-ripping because and she ended up telling her story and like the dog was older and like had lost an eye and there was issues but she said something great like she goes I waited until he told me he was ready and I could see it in his eyes that he just didn't have the will to live anymore and and she had came to it though like she goes I understand like

Tina (: 32:20

Robb (32:26.004)

And I think that that's what we all have to do with life. You come to a point where you just have to go, I get it now. Whatever it is, like, look, you know, I've kind of came to the realization of life where you look at age and my dad is going to die. And as much as I don't want that to happen, the reality is that.

Tina (: 32:33

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 32:49

Yeah.

Robb (: 32:55

You know, I have friends, a lot of friends, you, other friends that are close to me, we all have one parent. And it's when you run into people at our age who have two, it's almost odd. Yeah, and odd. I just kind of go, you still have both your parents. I'm like, you're 50. They're like, yeah, yeah, they're like,

Tina (: 32:55

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 33:03

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 33:12

Kinda feel jealous a little bit, huh? I do. Yeah.

Tina (: 33:21

I talked to a lady, I was doing her hair and she just turned 70 and her mother's 92 and still alive and I said, you know what? I hate you. I told her, I hate you. My mom died at 59 and I was 40. And she said, I don't know what I would do without my mom. And I said, I do, but it's not easy. You know, you have to, you have to go through a totally different way of dealing with things when you don't have your mom.

Robb (: 33:30

Yeah, right? Yeah. Yeah.

And and you're you know, I didn't have the kind of relationship with my mom that most people do. Yeah. Yeah, mm But I really, because we talked about having her on, we really should have. I think she would have been a hoot. She's a great lady and.

Tina (: 33:55

Right. Yeah, I'd never met your mom and I was your friend for a long time, but she was never around. Like he used to go to Iowa to visit her in high school. I remember that and I always thought I want to go meet his mom, but you know.

Tina (: 34:12

Yeah. Yeah.

Robb (: 34:19

But. Yeah, she was she was awesome. mean, but again, like and not to like poopoo on the situation, but we we had a better relationship, obviously, later in life because we're I was an adult and, you know, she learned a lot from listening to the show about me, which was funny because like I remember.

Tina (: 34:19

Well, she had a great son, of course she was a great lady. People don't make good people unless they're good people themselves.

Tina (: 34:38

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 34:42

You was funny.

Robb (: 34:45

I would talk to her afterwards. She's like, I didn't know that about you. Yeah, well, you know, funny things you hear on here. know, people listen to this show or people that find out I have it. I'm going kind of through the situation that you are of like, you know, I'm going to start dating people, right? That know I have a podcast and they're like, I want to listen. And I'm like, I yeah. And here's my thing. It's like, Listen.

Tina (: 34:51

Yeah.

Tina (: 35:03

Mm-hmm.

No, I'd rather you not. I always say that. No, I'd rather you not. Please.

Robb (: 35:16

But listen from this episode on, not from this episode back. Because like, no, I mean, I don't care because look, I'm an open book, but I have a feeling that people who listen to older episodes are going to go, so who's this person? It's like, well, that's a whole situation.

Tina (: 35:22

Who cares?

Tina (: 35:38

Or like I told you several different people over the last couple years have gotten really pissed at me because they thought I was talking about them. And I was like, what the hell? Shut up. You know, you really your ego is too big to handle me right now because I could talk about 100 people, not just one.

Robb (: 35:47

Oh yeah, it happens to all the time. Yeah, I had that happen about the last show, literally last week. Yeah, and I was like, not about you. Yeah.

Tina (: 36:05

Are you serious?

Wow. You know, that's an ego though, saying, you're talking about me. You're doing that. No, get over yourself. I have years of experience. could reference so many different things that it's stupid to think that it's all about you.

Robb (: 36:10

But. Yeah, I mean, look, I can tell you in this case, I understand there's there's. There kind of is. Because I talked about this person a lot.

Tina (: 36:31

No, there's no reason that nobody should say anything

Robb (: 36:37

And I'm doing my best now going forward to not use titles for people. Like I'm just going to start saying, I know someone because we do know a lot of people. And the person that I was talking about last week was our friend when I was 18 years old. No, I'm in trouble with somebody else talking about her. And I was like,

Tina (: 36:38

Nah.

Tina (: 36:59

so you got in trouble with her? That's awesome.

Robb (: 37:06

I like, no, that wasn't about you. And so much that I went back and listened to the whole episode to make sure like, and look, because of age, we all have similar situations of things that could be similar. So I get it, but and look, it's not gonna, it won't be the first time and it won't be the last. It just won't. As long as we do a show like this where we're talking about personal shit.

Tina (: 37:14

Really?

Tina (: 37:25

Yeah.

Tina (: 37:35

We're referencing our life, not the people that are in it.

Robb (: 37:39

Right, well, and even if it's the person that like I can understand if I date someone and look I told you before if someone I date Come came to me and said listen, please don't talk about our relationship. I wouldn't Because I think that that's that is okay as long as it's talked about pre, you know,

because maybe they don't want that out there. And I'm okay with that. But I'm also not going to throttle my life experiences for you. Yeah. Right, right, right.

Tina (: 38:07

I am too, yeah.

Tina (: 38:15

I got in trouble and I wasn't even talking about This person that got really pissed at me and it it I finally had to say, know what shut up It wasn't about you and and I don't and we're not even dating so shut up and leave me alone That was that was not fun. I haven't had any problem Well, not really dating anybody that would have a problem with me at all. So Now it's not a problem, but damn

Robb (: 38:40

Right, I'm just... But I... It is. Right. I generally do my best not to.

Tina (: 38:44

It is hard when you're doing what we're doing and people are worried about you saying something or putting them in a bad light or whatever the hell it is. And I don't think we do that anyway.

Robb (: 39:01

The problem with a lot of that kind of stuff though is you have to think, my biggest thing is this, is anyone you know listening to the show that is gonna know that's you? You know, the odds of that are probably very low. Unless you've told people, hey, my friend has a podcast, and then they might come back around and go, was that you guys? I can understand that, but.

Tina (: 39:18

Yeah.

Robb (: 39:28

I think in the bigger scheme of things, probably not. It's more going to be people in our lives coming to us and going, was that about this person? It's like. Right.

Tina (: 39:38

And my friends don't even do that and you know what's funny is I've gotten in trouble for a lot of people saying that well you I You spoke about this or you spoke about that and I was like wait that wasn't even about you I don't even remember what we say half the time I'm like what was last week's episode about how many times have I asked you that because I just talked to you like I'm talking to my friend because that's what I'm doing So I'm like did I really know I wasn't even talking about that person get out of here

Robb (: 39:58

All the time Right Right See I'm For me since I listen to the show then the next day I listen to it on the way to the to work For obvious reasons first I like to cover my own ass and say hey did I what did I say this time?

Tina (: 40:09

It happens often.

Robb (: 40:25

Because I'm kind of like you during the show. I just go. And whatever comes out of my gap is what gets recorded. Because unlike a lot of other people's podcasts, I don't edit shit out. I don't. I don't care. I'll earn it and I live up to it and I've apologized to people for saying the wrong things before. Which I think is more than fair.

Tina (: 40:29

Yeah, we just talk.

Tina (: 40:40

No, you don't.

Tina (: 40:50

Yeah, I don't I don't apologize. This is my life. This is my podcast. If you don't like it, do me a favor. Don't listen to it.

Robb (: 40:57

Right and look and I think that that's that's the going rate but my thing is this is if I say something that is incorrect whatever it is if it's a statistic if it's an opinion on something that I looked at it a different way not an opinion about like you know the color green that's that's my own opinion about a situation that I looked at it differently

I have no problem saying, okay, maybe I was wrong, but this is how I saw it. But look, going forward with what we do, I've kind of warned people in advance, like, I did this podcast just so you know, and most people that I've met now are like, hey, what is it? And I'm like, okay, well, this is it. And they're like, I wanna listen to it. It's like, good, listen to it.

Tina (: 41:43

I won't even give people that I won't be like, yeah, I'll have to give it to you. And then I just like ignore it. But there's been several people that will stay on me to get the information. But then, you know, I'm finding the people that I really wouldn't want to hear the ones that are listening. I mean, don't get me wrong. I still have my people that are there. They like to hear what I'm going to say just because I'm, you know, they always think I'm, yeah, it's who I am. But,

Robb (: 41:54

Yeah. Right. Yeah. But it's who you are. Right. Probably.

Tina (: 42:10

But for the most part, seems like the people that I don't want to know about me are the ones that are listening. And it's even funnier the ways I find out that they're the ones that are listening. I'm like, wow. I didn't see that coming.

Robb (: 42:23

Yeah. See, I'm kind of foiled with that because I do all the social media stuff. So for me, they know because I put it out there. And if you follow me on anything, you're seeing at least, you know, one or two posts a week. So for me, that's OK. We always get off task. It's it's it's.

Tina (: 42:29

Yeah.

Tina (: 42:36

Yeah.

But we're getting off task with what we're doing. We're always all over the place.

Robb (: 42:45

But look, these are the things that can lead to depression. mean, let's I mean, be, you know, realistic things in your life that lead to depression. Friendships, relationships, money, you know, I think those are the biggest ones. And I think these days money, everyone I know around me is hurting. Without a doubt.

Tina (: 42:50

Yeah.

Tina (: 43:02

I think a lot of people are very lonely in this world right now. didn't used to with when I was younger, I don't think I recognized it or I didn't know or maybe people just weren't as lonely as they are now. But I'm noticing people that are in relationships aren't in good ones. They're so far from being good. It's sad that they can't bridge the gap and make the connection. I'm

Robb (: 43:24

Mm-hmm.

Is, will put you in depression.

Tina (: 43:29

I'm seeing people who are, who have lost spouses like my father. That, that has sent some serious depression his way. Cause he thought he was going to be with the same woman forever and it didn't work out like that. And dating has been like funny. You know, it's it. Yeah. That's what I hear. I mean, I, I take dating as something fun. Like I'll go out, I'll meet a person. If I want to date them, then I would.

Robb (: 43:46

no, it can be.

Tina (: 43:57

If I don't, it's like, hey, good luck to you. You know, we could be friendly, but yeah, it's not going to work out. But you know, if it's not going to work out, you could feel it. And so I just kind of go with things and, and not let it, not let it get so depressing because it could be, you know, being alone is not fun. And, and I know a lot of people are like, I couldn't date. I couldn't do it. I would be so upset all the time. And I'm like, really?

Robb (: 44:16

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, look, I think the lonely epidemic is becoming very, very, large. Yeah, yeah. Mostly among men, at least from statistically what I've seen. But I just think that I think a lot of people are just giving up on a lot of things. They're just like,

Tina (: 44:31

It's serious for sure.

Tina (: 44:43

Yeah.

Robb (: 44:44

Because again, I think most people would just say, fuck it, I'd rather be depressed and sit at home, play video games all day than than being some shitty relationship. You know, and and I see that and I can see why it like depression is its own thing. think at the end of the day, obviously, if you're really depressed, you should talk to somebody, a professional. I think, you know, let's.

Tina (: 44:55

Yes, I agree with that.

Tina (: 45:07

Mm-hmm.

Robb (: 45:10

I think the biggest thing that anyone should take out of this is that, you you should continue to talk to people who are going to try to lead you in the right direction. If that's your thing, you know, look, therapy for some people isn't going to work. And some people need to go through lots of therapists until they find the right one. You know?

Tina (: 45:30

Mm-hmm, but in the meantime There are things that you have to do for yourself because you have to dig yourself out of the hole that you're in You know and say and you know what I find for me was the big one was taking vitamin D I've learned since then that vitamin D if you don't have enough in your system Your body can't take on the nutrients from from the other vitamins vitamin D is what helps you absorb it

Robb (: 45:38

Yes, or try.

Tina (: 45:57

And I didn't realize that my vitamin D levels were at a really low level, like super low. So make sure that your vitamin D levels are good. Make sure you're eating enough fruits and vegetables and grains because we have the worst diet here in the United States. So make sure you're eating well, exercise, drink a lot of water and talk. If you're having a bad time or if you're not feeling good.

Robb (: 46:01

Yeah. Mine too. Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 46:24

or you're feeling depressed, the best thing you could do is say something. The other, a couple of weeks ago, I was having one of the worst days that I've had in a long time because I don't know that Rob has ever seen me cry. And it was before we were going to do a podcast and he was like, what happened? And I lost my shit and just started crying, which totally threw you for a loop. And I saw it. was like, you're trying to come up with what to say or what to do. And you had nothing because you're not used to me being like that.

Robb (: 46:25

Mm-hmm.

Tina (: 46:54

And I cried for about five minutes and then I said, okay, let's do the podcast and I sucked it up and we moved on. And you have to fight it like that. Be true to what you're feeling, acknowledge what you're feeling, but at the same time, is that gonna be what's helpful to you or is that gonna be more of a hindrance? And if it's gonna be more of a hindrance, you have to stop and do something else. And...

Robb (: 47:00

Yep.

Tina (: 47:22

I totally looked like a schizophrenic last when I did that, you have to.

Robb (: 47:22

That. That is the perfect way to end this podcast. What you just said. I totally agree with everything you just said. You I think the biggest word you just said is you have to fight through it no matter what. That's it. Punch that thing in the dick. Yeah.

Tina (: 47:32

there you go.

Tina (: 47:40

Absolutely. Yep.

I would love to you have no idea. that's funny.

Robb (: 47:50

Right? All right, so, we're gonna end it on that, because I think that was a good way of everything you just said. People need to rewind it and re-listen to what you said. That was perfect. Look, you can check us out on all the socials. Facebook, Instagram, X. I'm gonna start putting it on. I think there's other ones, I think. But anyway, you'll see the post about the new episode coming out.

Please share it. It's awesome. We have people all over the world now that listen to this show, which is still insanely mind blowing. Yeah, that people I think the other day we had one in Saudi Arabia. Yeah, it just blows my mind. So, yeah, and then check us out every Wednesday. It's an opinion show, so don't get it twisted. Keep coming back every Wednesday for Tina. I'm Rob. We'll see in a week.

Tina (: 48:23

Mind blowing. Yeah.

Tina (: 48:30

Stop it! Who knew?

Robb (: 48:47

Bye.

Tina (: 48:48

See ya.